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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Assistant Sleeping! Probably Mad Parent! What To Do??
JustKids 05:21 PM 11-10-2011
OKAY!.....soooo

I am very sick and exhausted and do not want to get the other children sick...so I left my substitute/assistant with 2 children (sleeping baby and preschooler)...i go upstairs to put my son for a nap and fell asleep....( i know this is a no no but was super exausted) I have left my assistant with the kids before so I didn't think twice.....

So I hear a knock at the door, preschoolers parent, my asisstant doesn't answer, so i get up, I go down and see she is SLEEPING!!!!!! The preschooler is just standing there looking at the door....so the Mom comes in, its dark and sesame street is on...i know she will tell her mom that ***** was sleeping.

I know if i was the parent i would be PISSED! She is a friend of mine, not close close but we were friends before i opened. I dont know if she knew if my assistant was asleep or not but I am sure her daughter will tell her.

I don't know what to do???!!!! Should i contact her before she contacts me??? Tell her the truth? or what??

Oh and my asisstant is my sister in law, i already basically told her off and she knows I am pissed..I will deal with her, but not sure what to do about Mom?? Her daughter hasn't seemed happy here as it is.....

Please any advice, i know I shouldn't have slept either.....so please how would you go about this if you were in my schoes????
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sharlan 05:57 PM 11-10-2011
Basically, you messed up. You should have told your assistant that you needed a nap. If something had happened, it would have come down on your head, not your assistant's.

BUT, since she was aware that you went upstairs, she knew that she was in charge of the kids.

Personally, "I" wouldn't say anything to the mom. Just let sleeping dogs lie for now. If the mom brings it up, apologize, tell her that it's unexcusable, it never happened before, and it will NEVER happen again.

If the child is unhappy in your home, chances are the parent is already looking for another provider. This may just set it in motion.

We have all made mistakes and learned from them. This one is yours.
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Hunni Bee 06:49 PM 11-10-2011
I don't know...I make it known with my assistants that if I leave the room, for whatever reason, they are to take over. That's one of the things assistants are FOR.

Her being asleep with children in her care is UNACCEPTABLE.

Yes, I agree you probably should have told her you were going to take a nap, but from what you posted, you weren't really with the kids because you were sick, which meant you really didn't have to. But none of this has any bearing on the fact that she shouldn't have fallen asleep with children in her care.
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wdmmom 07:31 PM 11-10-2011
I wouldn't mention anything to the parent unless it is mentioned to you first.

AND

I'd term the so-called assistant and find someone more reliable and responsible!
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cheerfuldom 08:18 PM 11-10-2011
I would let your assistant go. She could really put your whole operation in jeopardy. You're lucky that little one did not hurt themselves or something while being unsupervised. I know it's tough to work with family. I made the mistake of letting my sister work for me. She doesn't anymore and thank goodness.

As for the mom, I would let the assistant go and let each of the parents know that she is no longer working for you and you will be hiring someone new. You don't have to share all the dirty details but at least this mom will know that she no longer works there. I do let my parents know when I am looking to hire so they are prepared to see a new face in the future. They do not get any part of the hiring process but I do let them know who was hired and especially, their qualifications.
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TBird 08:31 PM 11-10-2011
I wouldn't say anything but your SIL put you in a bad situation.
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Sprouts 10:21 AM 11-12-2011
So far the parent hasn't said anything. I texted askering her about something else just to see if she would bring it up.....

But about my sister in law...I need to have a long talk with her, i think she will learn from this mistake, but def. do not trust her like i used to

I wish it was just easy just to find a new assistant but there are so many flakes out there....
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Blackcat31 02:18 PM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by JustKids:
OKAY!.....soooo

I am very sick and exhausted and do not want to get the other children sick...so I left my substitute/assistant with 2 children (sleeping baby and preschooler)...i go upstairs to put my son for a nap and fell asleep....( i know this is a no no but was super exausted) I have left my assistant with the kids before so I didn't think twice.....

So I hear a knock at the door, preschoolers parent, my asisstant doesn't answer, so i get up, I go down and see she is SLEEPING!!!!!! The preschooler is just standing there looking at the door....so the Mom comes in, its dark and sesame street is on...i know she will tell her mom that ***** was sleeping.

I know if i was the parent i would be PISSED! She is a friend of mine, not close close but we were friends before i opened. I dont know if she knew if my assistant was asleep or not but I am sure her daughter will tell her.

I don't know what to do???!!!! Should i contact her before she contacts me??? Tell her the truth? or what??

Oh and my asisstant is my sister in law, i already basically told her off and she knows I am pissed..I will deal with her, but not sure what to do about Mom?? Her daughter hasn't seemed happy here as it is.....

Please any advice, i know I shouldn't have slept either.....so please how would you go about this if you were in my schoes????
Originally Posted by Sprouts:
So far the parent hasn't said anything. I texted askering her about something else just to see if she would bring it up.....

But about my sister in law...I need to have a long talk with her, i think she will learn from this mistake, but def. do not trust her like i used to

I wish it was just easy just to find a new assistant but there are so many flakes out there....

Ok, I am confused?! Who is the OP? Is it JustKids or Sprouts? Do you have two user names?
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Former Teacher 02:33 PM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Ok, I am confused?! Who is the OP? Is it JustKids or Sprouts? Do you have two user names?


The cover is BLOWN!
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Blackcat31 03:16 PM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:


The cover is BLOWN!
Yeah, Sprouts is answering as if she is the original poster but the original poster isn't Sprouts so....yeah, I'm confused.

Although being confused is a normal state of mind for me.....I still had to ask.

I will only take credit for a certain amount of confusion....the rest is NOT my fault!
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Former Teacher 03:25 PM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Yeah, Sprouts is answering as if she is the original poster but the original poster isn't Sprouts so....yeah, I'm confused.

Although being confused is a normal state of mind for me.....I still had to ask.

I will only take credit for a certain amount of confusion....the rest is NOT my fault!


Well I am glad you got caught that! I sure didnt!
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Sprouts 04:18 PM 11-12-2011


LOL I did that in case the parent was checking!!!! LOL ooopsy I feel like an ar$e.....
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Ariana 12:16 PM 11-13-2011
Can you lie about why you were not there? Does the parent know you were sleeping? I would be mortified!!! I'd probably make up a white lie about why I wasn't there (son having a rough time going down for nap, had to clean something etc). Apologize profusely for the assistant falling asleep and either talk it out with SIL or fire her.
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Abigail 04:27 PM 11-13-2011
How long was your assistant in charge? Is she always there on a daily basis or as an on-call basis? I would just give the SIL a warning. I'm not sure if you have a substitute (because you were sick) if you're then allowed to sleep. It should be as if you never went to work that day and stayed home to sleep.....as long as you were not over ratio. If you needed you to make sure you were within ratio then sleeping I don't think is okay. I know I am not allowed to sleep during nap time, but I can if I have kids before sunrise and get up early before the kids wake up.
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Sprouts 04:44 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Abigail:
How long was your assistant in charge? Is she always there on a daily basis or as an on-call basis? I would just give the SIL a warning. I'm not sure if you have a substitute (because you were sick) if you're then allowed to sleep. It should be as if you never went to work that day and stayed home to sleep.....as long as you were not over ratio. If you needed you to make sure you were within ratio then sleeping I don't think is okay. I know I am not allowed to sleep during nap time, but I can if I have kids before sunrise and get up early before the kids wake up.
She is my sub/assistant....and yes I was def. within ratio, always am.

I technically had her there so I could be "absent" because i was sick and did not want to get the other kids sick, I actually didn't need that day (ratio wise) but I had her come in to cover for me.

I never sleep while i am watching kids, even during nap time, too much to do and illegal and not a good idea.
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Sprouts 04:55 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Can you lie about why you were not there? Does the parent know you were sleeping? I would be mortified!!! I'd probably make up a white lie about why I wasn't there (son having a rough time going down for nap, had to clean something etc). Apologize profusely for the assistant falling asleep and either talk it out with SIL or fire her.
Well i told her i was putting my son for a nap, i think i said i fell asleep

yeah I am not good at lies, as u can see i got busted here!!!
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sharlan 05:51 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Can you lie about why you were not there? Does the parent know you were sleeping? I would be mortified!!! I'd probably make up a white lie about why I wasn't there (son having a rough time going down for nap, had to clean something etc). Apologize profusely for the assistant falling asleep and either talk it out with SIL or fire her.
Not a good idea. IMHO, it's never good to lie to a parent. We emphasize that we don't want them lying to us, we shouldn't do it to them, either. Best to admit a mistake and be proactive that it won't happen again.
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Crystal 06:34 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Can you lie about why you were not there? Does the parent know you were sleeping? I would be mortified!!! I'd probably make up a white lie about why I wasn't there (son having a rough time going down for nap, had to clean something etc).
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!! I expect my families to be honest with me, and I expect the same of myself. NEVER, EVER lie to a parent. It is unethical and simply not good business practice.
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Sprouts 07:11 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!! I expect my families to be honest with me, and I expect the same of myself. NEVER, EVER lie to a parent. It is unethical and simply not good business practice.
Thank you both, I agree.

But do you both feel i should wait to say something or say something to her right away?

I have spoken to her a few times already and she hasnt mentioned it, she would have brought it up if it was bothering her.
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sharlan 09:13 PM 11-13-2011
I would just leave it alone.
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Ariana 04:23 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Not a good idea. IMHO, it's never good to lie to a parent. We emphasize that we don't want them lying to us, we shouldn't do it to them, either. Best to admit a mistake and be proactive that it won't happen again.
I think a little white lie so she doesn't get fired isn't all that bad. I don't expect parents to tell me the truth about everything (especially insignificant things) either. The point is that the assistant was sleeping so if the parent knew BOTH were sleeping it would look doubly bad. It's not like she left the kids alone to go sleeping and then lied to the parents about why she wasn't there.

Anyway I understand where you're coming from but I wasn't promoting "lying to parents" in general!!
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Crystal 06:54 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I think a little white lie so she doesn't get fired isn't all that bad. I don't expect parents to tell me the truth about everything (especially insignificant things) either. The point is that the assistant was sleeping so if the parent knew BOTH were sleeping it would look doubly bad. It's not like she left the kids alone to go sleeping and then lied to the parents about why she wasn't there.

Anyway I understand where you're coming from but I wasn't promoting "lying to parents" in general!!
I personally wouldn't offer the information, but I would NOT lie if the parent brought it up. And I DO expect the parents to be truthful with me about EVERYTHING. Lying is the ONE issue that I would term over. And, lying to a parent is a Good way to lose a client when the kid tells the parent the truth.
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Preschool/daycare teacher 08:14 PM 11-14-2011
I agree your assistant should NOT have been sleeping. But I do not think you, personally, did anything wrong, if I'm understanding everything correctly. You had her come in to cover for you, because you were sick, and didn't want to be around the children and get them sick. So the assistant was in charge. You were technically not there. So since you were technically not there, it was perfectly okay for you to take a nap. It'd be the same thing as you going home and taking a nap (if you had a seperate house for your daycare, like some providers do). If your assistant/sub knew she was covering for you that day so you didn't have to be around the children, then it wouldn't matter if you told her you were taking a nap or not. You wouldn't have to tell her anything about what you're doing. After all, you're technically not there. SHE is working that day, not you.

I also agree with the other posters not to mention it to the mom unless she brings it up. No need to borrow trouble. If she mentions it, be honest about it all: You were sick, had assistant/sub come in to work for you so you would not get the children sick, You went upstairs to put your son down for nap, and went to sleep yourself. And yes, your assistant, however, did too. It is has been taken care of and will not happen again. Let her know you do NOT allow sleeping during nap time, even if it wasn't against licensing.
Since she hasn't mentioned anything yet, she probably won't.
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Tags:assistant - lazy
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