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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Pooping on the Potty
DaisyMamma 06:13 AM 07-18-2014
I realize its something that is so so hard for kids but how long do you let it go on for And how do you get them to do it. This kid shows up in a diaper/pullups every. single. day. eventhough he is fully trained to pee on the toilet. I get the impression that the only time he wears underware is when he is in my daycare because I immediately take the diaper away and put on his underwear. Age 3.5

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Play Care 06:39 AM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
I realize its something that is so so hard for kids but how long do you let it go on for And how do you get them to do it. This kid shows up in a diaper/pullups every. single. day. eventhough he is fully trained to pee on the toilet. I get the impression that the only time he wears underware is when he is in my daycare because I immediately take the diaper away and put on his underwear. Age 3.5
I would do the same thing. My policy is that I do not take new children over the age of 3 who are not potty trained and that children who have grown up in my care must be fully trained by 3.5. I know some kids may not be ready and that's okay, I'm just not the provider for them in that case. I would make an exception for a medically documented reason, but even then I would need the physicians *written* plan for getting the child potty trained. In my mind a child who can control when he has a BM (only going when in a diaper) is able to use the potty to do it. We had to take a hard line with our older dd, so I do have sympathy for the child/ parents because I've been there.
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daycarediva 06:51 AM 07-18-2014
I have a similar policy to play care, only my cutoff is 4. I also require a developmental evaluation and plan to get the child trained. I have a child pushing that date right now. When I update my handbook in January, I'm changing the date to 3.5. It's GROSS. He's 50lbs and wearing L good night pullups. In addition, my other older kids are starting to make comments to him. He comes in diapers ever day, mom won't do underwear cold turkey either.
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GKJNIGMN 07:51 AM 07-18-2014
Have you talked to the parents?

When my oldest son who had some speech delays and things was 3 to 3 1/2, he wore underwear at home but I sent him to daycare in a diaper because he sometimes had trouble telling people he needed to go. I didn't feel right that the provider should have to clean up his mess while watching all the other kids and have her house ruined so I never asked her about it.

When he was between 3.5 and 4, I finally asked her if she would be ok with him coming in underwear and I still remember she just looked at me and said "I was wondering why you always sent him in diapers. He's been using the bathroom with no problem for months."

Maybe the parents are waiting on you to let them know he is doing fine without them at your home.
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DaisyMamma 08:02 AM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by GKJNIGMN:
Have you talked to the parents?

When my oldest son who had some speech delays and things was 3 to 3 1/2, he wore underwear at home but I sent him to daycare in a diaper because he sometimes had trouble telling people he needed to go. I didn't feel right that the provider should have to clean up his mess while watching all the other kids and have her house ruined so I never asked her about it.

When he was between 3.5 and 4, I finally asked her if she would be ok with him coming in underwear and I still remember she just looked at me and said "I was wondering why you always sent him in diapers. He's been using the bathroom with no problem for months."

Maybe the parents are waiting on you to let them know he is doing fine without them at your home.
He won't poop without the diaper. even if he has it on he looks like he's trying to hold it.

I know they don't use underware at home 100% of the time.
Their older child had this problem too.
Its not the kids, its the enabling parents.
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AmyKidsCo 12:17 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Its not the kids, its the enabling parents.
Unfortunately there's not much you can do about that. Until the problem becomes THEIR problem they'll keep doing what they're doing.
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Blackcat31 12:42 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
I realize its something that is so so hard for kids but how long do you let it go on for And how do you get them to do it. This kid shows up in a diaper/pullups every. single. day. eventhough he is fully trained to pee on the toilet. I get the impression that the only time he wears underware is when he is in my daycare because I immediately take the diaper away and put on his underwear. Age 3.5
I don't get them (the child) to do it. The parents do.

If he poops in his pants, he wears a Pull-up or a diaper here. NO EXCEPTIONS.

If he wears underwear at home, I don't care. I don't clean their house so it isn't my concern.

My concern is MY house. If he isn't 100% toilet trained at my house, then he continues to wear Pull-ups/diapers.

I don't stress about these kinds of things because it isnt my issue to stress about.

On the flip side, it's not like I am flippant or non-supportive about a child who is toilet training because that is farthest from the truth....I am VERY encouraging and supportive for those kids who are training and in your situation, I would ask the child if he needed to go and/or allow him to go anytime he needed too but that's as far as my involvement goes.

The rest belongs to the parent to manage.
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daycarediva 01:15 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't get them (the child) to do it. The parents do.

If he poops in his pants, he wears a Pull-up or a diaper here. NO EXCEPTIONS.

If he wears underwear at home, I don't care. I don't clean their house so it isn't my concern.

My concern is MY house. If he isn't 100% toilet trained at my house, then he continues to wear Pull-ups/diapers.

I don't stress about these kinds of things because it isnt my issue to stress about.

On the flip side, it's not like I am flippant or non-supportive about a child who is toilet training because that is farthest from the truth....I am VERY encouraging and supportive for those kids who are training and in your situation, I would ask the child if he needed to go and/or allow him to go anytime he needed too but that's as far as my involvement goes.

The rest belongs to the parent to manage.
BC- what do you do when the child is VERY late to training, shows no interest/wont go for you and is getting big enough that it's an issue?

Here is my situation- He doesn't fit on my changing table, I have to change him on a pad that I had to purchase, on the floor in the daycare room since my preschool half bath is too small to fit him and I in if he is laying down (and therefor privacy IS an issue). It smells up my room, pretty badly, too. He goes multiple times per day. I also supply diapers and wipes, but I told the parents that they needed to start supplying larger size ones or he needed to find alternate care because he is going through 5-6 pull-ups a DAY and only fits in L size goodnights, which are around $10 for 12 (can't remember exactly). I was going to have to purchase adult diapers, since the largest size I could find don't Velcro around him and caused leaks and blowouts. UGH!

The parents don't seem to mind at all and don't encourage him much.

Kid is almost 4 (3y 10 1/2m)
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Blackcat31 01:29 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
BC- what do you do when the child is VERY late to training, shows no interest/wont go for you and is getting big enough that it's an issue?

Here is my situation- He doesn't fit on my changing table, I have to change him on a pad that I had to purchase, on the floor in the daycare room since my preschool half bath is too small to fit him and I in if he is laying down (and therefor privacy IS an issue). It smells up my room, pretty badly, too. He goes multiple times per day. I also supply diapers and wipes, but I told the parents that they needed to start supplying larger size ones or he needed to find alternate care because he is going through 5-6 pull-ups a DAY and only fits in L size goodnights, which are around $10 for 12 (can't remember exactly). I was going to have to purchase adult diapers, since the largest size I could find don't Velcro around him and caused leaks and blowouts. UGH!

The parents don't seem to mind at all and don't encourage him much.

Kid is almost 4 (3y 10 1/2m)
They don't mind because it seems most of it is YOUR issue to deal with.

If you are going to supply the diapers and wipes for parents, I would consider only supplying them until like age 3 and after that put it on the parents to supply.

As for the changing accommodations and having to buy a different changing pad and all, I wouldn't have done it. I would have just told the parents that I only have a changing table and he is too large for it at that age so he technically requires more care than you are able to give him. kwim?

I DO have an older child (turned 4 in May) that is still in diapers and I just change the child like I do everyone else but I change them all on the floor of the bathroom so the lifting isn't an issue for me and if the child is comfy with being changed like a toddler/infant, that's on them. Also, this is where my tiered system of appropriate activities comes into play again.

The child is not allowed to do certain things here because they aren't developmentally able to. My kid is MORE than capable but mom doesn't care so I just make a big deal about the other kids being able to go to swim lessons and have scissors and etc etc and she is just now starting to pick up on the fact that her kid isn't doing any of that and is feeling bad about it so she is now beginning to be concerned.

Basically, it had to be a problem for the parent or they were never going to fix THEIR issue.
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Solandia 01:56 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
BC- what do you do when the child is VERY late to training, shows no interest/wont go for you and is getting big enough that it's an issue?

Here is my situation- He doesn't fit on my changing table, I have to change him on a pad that I had to purchase, on the floor in the daycare room since my preschool half bath is too small to fit him and I in if he is laying down (and therefor privacy IS an issue). It smells up my room, pretty badly, too. He goes multiple times per day. I also supply diapers and wipes, but I told the parents that they needed to start supplying larger size ones or he needed to find alternate care because he is going through 5-6 pull-ups a DAY and only fits in L size goodnights, which are around $10 for 12 (can't remember exactly). I was going to have to purchase adult diapers, since the largest size I could find don't Velcro around him and caused leaks and blowouts. UGH!

The parents don't seem to mind at all and don't encourage him much.

Kid is almost 4 (3y 10 1/2m)
If he is completely pee trained, then why are you having to change so many pull-ups? Does he have that many bowel movements a day, because...that is a lot for an almost 4yo. OTOH, if he is holding is poop, and having bm "leaks" that you are having to change, then that is a whole different issue.
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lovemykidstoo 02:10 PM 07-18-2014
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
He won't poop without the diaper. even if he has it on he looks like he's trying to hold it.

I know they don't use underware at home 100% of the time.
Their older child had this problem too.
Its not the kids, its the enabling parents.
I wrote recently about my 3 yr old dcb that came in regular underwear Monday, but I was supposed to put a diaper on him when he said he had to poop. I have never heard of anything dumber. The dad came yesterday to pick up and asked how he did on the potty. I said he pee'd just fine, but hasn't had a bowel movement yet. He said, "oh yea, he's pretty regular that way. He gets home and a 1/2 hr later he asks for a diaper." I said, "oh, do you give him one?" He says, "Oh yea, then he goes behind the couch and poops in the diaper" I'm still picking my mouth up off the floor. he said oh yea, mom doesn't want him to hold it and get constipated. oh my Lord!
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daycarediva 06:56 AM 07-22-2014
Thank you bc!!

See my other post about multiple bms. THIS is the kid.


I told the parents that they need to supply everything. I change him like the other 2yo. I love the exception of special activities for the bigger kids!! I will have to implement something neat!
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