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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Power Struggles?
Unregistered 09:16 AM 04-13-2010
I have a little girl she will be 3 the end of September. I cannot get her to do anything with out "NO" for an answer!! From going potty, eating, to picking up! It is always "NO" followed by a groan and a crying whine!! I have tried ignoring it, but how can I ignore it and make the rest of the kids pick up her mess, how can I not take her potty, the eating doesn't bother me, I guess she will eat if she is hungry enough! I have given her time out after time out! I have praised her for good behavior, nothing seems to work!! The entire time she is in time out she is crying/whining! It is becoming extremely disruptive!! She is the type of kid who is just messy, she makes the mess, but doesn't help pick up!! I need some helpful ideas to get by this annoying power struggle!! : P
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DBug 12:02 PM 04-13-2010
Is she still small enough to pick up and carry? If so, I'd carry (or walk her, if she'll go) to the bathroom and go through all of the motions with her. Same with cleaning up. My own daughter (who is 2 3/4) often refuses to tidy up. I stand behind her, holding her hands in mine, and guide them to the first toy. I help her pick it up and carry it to the shelf, and then go with her back for the next one. It's time consuming, but usually she's back on track after doing this a few times.

I also tend not to ask the kids to do things (terrible, I know). I tend to just tell them (---, please go to the bathroom now). If they say they don't want to, I acknowledge that by saying "I know you don't want to, but you need to go now". It's surprising sometimes, how just acknowledging their feelings works. This works really well with my strong-willed son

Power struggles are tough, but hang in there, because they do end eventually -- hopefully with you still in power!
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momma2girls 12:06 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
Is she still small enough to pick up and carry? If so, I'd carry (or walk her, if she'll go) to the bathroom and go through all of the motions with her. Same with cleaning up. My own daughter (who is 2 3/4) often refuses to tidy up. I stand behind her, holding her hands in mine, and guide them to the first toy. I help her pick it up and carry it to the shelf, and then go with her back for the next one. It's time consuming, but usually she's back on track after doing this a few times.

I also tend not to ask the kids to do things (terrible, I know). I tend to just tell them (---, please go to the bathroom now). If they say they don't want to, I acknowledge that by saying "I know you don't want to, but you need to go now". It's surprising sometimes, how just acknowledging their feelings works. This works really well with my strong-willed son

Power struggles are tough, but hang in there, because they do end eventually -- hopefully with you still in power!
I agree with this post. Do not ask for them to do something. Tell them let's all go into the bathroom, not all at once- then let's say it's outside time, it's activity time, it's dinner time, etc. Then you won't give them the option!
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Unregistered 12:13 PM 04-13-2010
I have attempted the form of statement and not a question "NO" is always the answer! LOL I know this will pass, she is just really getting to me and working my buttons and boy is it working! LOL I have done the guided picking up and such, she is just a stubborn, strong willed little girl, which isn't always a bad thing, we just need to get through this! I have had her since she was born, this is just a sudden change in behavior and I am not sure what is causing it! It was like day and night and I can't get the day back! LOL She is just testing me and seeing what she can get by with, I just need to stay in control and I am sure it will soon pass! Grrrrrr I am use to my own kids telling me NO LOL, but not a daycare kid, they usually are angels for me and do as I say! LOL : )
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grandmom 02:03 PM 04-13-2010
She's 3? Assign everyone a job at cleanup. She gets a job you know she can do. When everyone else is finished, they wash hands and have snack. If she never gets around to finishing her task, snack is missed. Takes 4 days max.
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Unregistered 02:38 PM 04-13-2010
Originally Posted by grandmom:
She's 3? Assign everyone a job at cleanup. She gets a job you know she can do. When everyone else is finished, they wash hands and have snack. If she never gets around to finishing her task, snack is missed. Takes 4 days max.
Sounds like something I would try with them. But if you're licensed, are you allowed to with hold food or snacks? I'm pretty sure there's something in the discipline section about punishment not being associated with food or rest. They even used the example of something as simple as taking a plate away from a child. I've done this several times if they're taking the food and dumping it on the floor or in someone else's plate on purpose.
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Tags:discipline, power struggle
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