Negligence Or Just Bad Parenting? DCP's Not Taking Child To The Doctor

[SunshineMama]

DCB had 3 blowouts today. Morning was diarrhea which leaked out of the diaper. 2nd am stayed in the diaper but was like clay splattered all over the place. After morning nap- the same.

This is the dcb I am terming for excessive illness. After today, I have 3 days left to fulfill my 2 week notice contract. I contacted dcm about his issues and all she replies is, Yikes. Dont feed him peaches and pears....

DCB was out all last week (well, dcp's tried to bring him 2 times but I sent him home) for diarrhea, and he has had no stools here all week except for today, so I thought this week he might have been okay.

The parents have not taken him to the doctor at all. At what point is that considered negligence and am I obligated to report to CPS that this child has had diaharrea for almost 2 weeks without a doctor's visit?

The parents just don't believe there is anything wrong with him other than teething or food issuess. This is not his 7th week long episode of diaharrea in a 6 month period.

[SunshineMama]

Originally Posted by SunshineMama

This is not his 7th week long episode of diaharrea in a 6 month period.

*Now, instead of "not" I meant to type.

[cheerfuldom]

do you know FOR SURE that he has not been taken to the doctor?

[Willow]

Is he dehydrating at all?


If he is I'd call up mom and ask her if she wants you to call doc/nurse line to sort out if he's even ok or if she's going to.

Don't allow him back without a doctors note saying his constant and persistent diarrhea is normal and not a health risk to you or the other kids in your care. Make sure you're very specific, maybe type up a note yourself and ask them to get it signed by doc and with a contact number you can reach them with questions?

[wdmmom]

I would tell them that he can not return.

You can request he be seen by a doctor but The problem with that is...you never know what the dcm is going to tell the doctor. If she's not concerned, chances are, she won't take the child to the doctor or she'll tell him about irregular bms but not the frequency.

Either suck it up and get through the next few days or term on the spot.

[SunshineMama]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

do you know FOR SURE that he has not been taken to the doctor?

I do not know 100% for sure that he has not been taken to the doctor, but based on what the parents are saying (and not saying) it seems pretty obvious that they are not. No doctor would say that virusy-smelling blowout diarrhea multiple times a day for 2 weeks is due to teething. But no, I can't prove that they have not.

I will be praying this weekend that they find a new provider who wants to start him on Tuesday so they don't come back for the last 3 days. DCM keeps telling me he is having normal BM's at home. I dont know how a child has normal BM's at home and multiple blowouts only at daycare?

[Zoe]

Because you don't have the immediate term clause in your contract, I'd still stick it out for the next three days, but honestly, I'd flat out ask dcm if she has even talked or seen a dr. about dcb's problem. If she hasn't, and it looks like dcb is suffering, then I'd put in a call to CPS, just to let them know the situation. That way it is on file in case someone else calls about dcb in the future. I understand that it is a serious thing to call them, but if you suspect negligence then I'd at least talk to CPS and get their take on it.

[GretasLittleFriends]

Maybe this is normal to mom, the runny/soft stools. Maybe they don't always leak out of the diaper at home, so to her, nothing seems out of sorts.

[AmyLeigh]

Originally Posted by Zoe

Because you don't have the immediate term clause in your contract, I'd still stick it out for the next three days, but honestly, I'd flat out ask dcm if she has even talked or seen a dr. about dcb's problem. If she hasn't, and it looks like dcb is suffering, then I'd put in a call to CPS, just to let them know the situation. That way it is on file in case someone else calls about dcb in the future. I understand that it is a serious thing to call them, but if you suspect negligence then I'd at least talk to CPS and get their take on it.

This. Definitely.

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Zoe

Because you don't have the immediate term clause in your contract, I'd still stick it out for the next three days, but honestly, I'd flat out ask dcm if she has even talked or seen a dr. about dcb's problem. If she hasn't, and it looks like dcb is suffering, then I'd put in a call to CPS, just to let them know the situation. That way it is on file in case someone else calls about dcb in the future. I understand that it is a serious thing to call them, but if you suspect negligence then I'd at least talk to CPS and get their take on it.

I agree! Since he is on the way out anyway, I would ask mom in a clear way, where she can't avoid the question.

"Pam, has Aiden ever been taken to the doctor to specifically address his BM issues?"

If she hums and haws, you know its no but I would still say

"So is that a no?"

and then

"I have a real concern with what I have seen here with him in my care. In my experience, what I am seeing is incredibly worrisome and not normal at all. He needs to be taken to a doctor immediately"

and OP, there is no way that he is not having major blowouts at home. Thats ridiculous and just the mom throwing out words at you to shut you up. Its much easier to say "oh hes fine at home" than to actually address the problem.

AFter he leaves, yes, I would call CPS and let them decide what to do next. I never call CPS either but in this case, he is obviously very ill and no one is addressing the issue and that IS neglect.

[countrymom]

its only 3 days left. Suck it up and leave it be. Remember its only 3 more days. When the next provider starts to complain then maybe just maybe they will do something about it.

now, I have a girl who is having blow outs and its because she is drinking too much milk. Today mom gave her no morning bottle and voila, no more blow outs. this will give her belly a chance to rest. Hmm, his poop is now clay colored, I wonder if they are giving him kaopectac to stop the diarrhea????

[wdmmom]

It sounds like this child has Rotovirus.

When you are changing him, you need to glove up, bag the diapers and dispose of immediately.

Rotovirus IS contageous...you and other children could contract it.

Signs of Rotivirus can remain in the system for 6 weeks.

I would tell the mom that while you aren't a medical doctor, you suggest having him seen.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

I agree! Since he is on the way out anyway, I would ask mom in a clear way, where she can't avoid the question.

"Pam, has Aiden ever been taken to the doctor to specifically address his BM issues?"

If she hums and haws, you know its no but I would still say

"So is that a no?"

and then

"I have a real concern with what I have seen here with him in my care. In my experience, what I am seeing is incredibly worrisome and not normal at all. He needs to be taken to a doctor immediately"

and OP, there is no way that he is not having major blowouts at home. Thats ridiculous and just the mom throwing out words at you to shut you up. Its much easier to say "oh hes fine at home" than to actually address the problem.

AFter he leaves, yes, I would call CPS and let them decide what to do next. I never call CPS either but in this case, he is obviously very ill and no one is addressing the issue and that IS neglect.

I agree.

Unless MOM is a Doctor, then he needs to actually be taken to one.

[SunshineMama]

So DCM comes to pick up DCB just now. Since I termed him and gave them their notice they have trying to be "sneaky" and showing up at random times throughout the day to pick him up without calling, which I don't care if they do, as long as it doesnt disrupt the other kids. DCM comes over, knocking loudly on the front door at naptime, waking up my dd, then asks if she can come with me to see where dcb is sleeping. I say of course, but you have to be quiet because I have other dck's sleeping in the room.

Of course when I open the door, one of the other dcb's wakes up, so now I have 2 kids awake almost 1 hour before naptime is over.

So over this! Im glad they came to get him early, but a call in advance would have been appreciated so I could quietly get him ready without disturbing the other children. Shaking my head...

[Zoe]

What a pest. Three more days. Three more days. Just keep saying it to yourself and have a great weekend!

[MommyofThree]

Originally Posted by SunshineMama

I do not know 100% for sure that he has not been taken to the doctor, but based on what the parents are saying (and not saying) it seems pretty obvious that they are not. No doctor would say that virusy-smelling blowout diarrhea multiple times a day for 2 weeks is due to teething. But no, I can't prove that they have not.

I will be praying this weekend that they find a new provider who wants to start him on Tuesday so they don't come back for the last 3 days. DCM keeps telling me he is having normal BM's at home. I dont know how a child has normal BM's at home and multiple blowouts only at daycare?

It is not a case for CPS LOL. I had a baby that had it for 8 weeks and it was a virus.

[LittleD]

Originally Posted by MommyofThree

It is not a case for CPS LOL. I had a baby that had it for 8 weeks and it was a virus.

But you knew it was a virus, how? Because the parents took the child to the doctor, right?

The child needs to see the doctor, just to have it verified. I remember my son had a virus for a month. I saw the doctors three times! They didn't know what was causing it.
Eventually, I had the doctor at emerg tell me, he couldn't eat or drink anything but water until it stopped. It was horrible! But after 48hrs, it stopped, and he was able to introduce the BRAT diet. He looked horrible, but luckily wasn't dehydrated during this time.

I thought a month was long, I couldn't imagine 7 weeks!! Oh, and I followed the rules and kept him out of daycare the whole time even tho I failed my semester at school doing it

[Michelle]

even if they took him to the doctor, they rarely take diarrea seriously.
It's almost always diet related and even if it was a virus, they would just say, "wait it out, do the brat diet and it will get better on it's own."
I know it's frustrating but unless he's listless or showing other symptoms, this will pass soon

[AnneCordelia]

Calling CPS is a very serious thing that will turn this families life upside down. It needs to be reserved for cases of abuse and neglect. At this point I would not call. Is there another support person the family relies on that you can talk to about this first? I think these boards are quick to jump on the "call cps" band wagon.

[Countrygal]

I agree that dck should be taken to a doctor. I have had four No, make that 5 intestinal bacterial infections in my life and what you are describing MIGHT be one. I don't know how you would ever tell the difference between a viral and bacterial infection without a stool sample. But some bacterial infections will not go away without meds. My Dr has told me the smell is indicative of a bacterial infection, but I've never actually witnesses rotovirus, so I can't tell the difference. Either way, it's not up to me to diagnose, the child needs to see a Dr. As I said before, one of the symptoms of a bact. infection is that they keep coming back. You'll be good for a few days to a few weeks and then start all over. They can be very dangerous in infants if let go.

If they are worried about the cost of the Dr visit, our clinic will let you pick up a stool sample kit and then drop it off if Dr orders it. One simple phone call and you can usually obtain one. After it comes back and it is positive you would prolly need to see a dr, but not before. Often a Dr will let you order it over the phone.

That may help a little. Hope this poor little one gets treated.

I agree that calling CPS would not be appropriate. Insisting they get a diagnosis is. BTW - bacterial infections are highly contagious as well, and a few are a reportable illness.