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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>She's Not Learning?!? Vent
dave4him 08:21 AM 01-21-2012
So I hear from my Mil that my sil wants to take her d out of my care claiming she's not learning anything... At her other care center they were doing numbers and letters colors by now..... Um she's one! She turns two in two weeks but the kids not brilliant really! She's the reason I started my daycare in the first place so the amount of ingratitude makes me sick! I am doing the best I can but apparently not enough
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dave4him 08:26 AM 01-21-2012
Not to mention I've only been doing this for three weeks!
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dave4him 09:55 AM 01-21-2012
hoping for little encourgament
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KEG123 10:54 AM 01-21-2012
poke her in the eye! lol
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sharlan 10:56 AM 01-21-2012
I'm sorry, but you're not going to get the encouragement you are looking for from me.

Your in-laws are not your #1 fans. No matter what you try to do, it just doesn't seem good enough for them. You've been married long enough to know that isn't going to change. Entering into a business arrangement with them is not a good idea.

I realize that your family needs the income, but is it really worth it? You have two choices - #1 suck it up and deal with the constant put downs or #2 tell your sil that this isn't going to work out and suffer the consequences.

Your wife is miserable and you're going to be miserable caring for this child. Two miserable parents do not make a happy family.
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Blackcat31 11:04 AM 01-21-2012
I think you should take this opportunity to talk with your SIL (as a parent of your DC child not as your SIL) and discuss with her what her expectations are in regard to her daughter. Gather some developmental information for the child's age group and talk openly with her mother about what she should and shouldn't be doing at this age.

Work together to set some goals and work toward accomplishing those goals. Give the mother some ideas and activities that she can do at home with her daughter. Don't allow a parent to make you the primary person responsible for educating their child. It is the parents responsibility to educate their child at this age and stage of her life.

At this age, she shold be learning social skills, self-help skills and just about herself in general. Academic come later and really shouldn't be part of her daily learning curriculum while in family child care and at 1 or 2 years of age.

Hang in there....we've all been there!
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dave4him 11:19 AM 01-21-2012
Well I love my niece which the whole point so I'll put up with all I have too. As far as teaching her I do make the most of the day and she gets a lot more attention when she's around me not to mention the positive male role influence. Perhaps this is just Gods way of saying I need to push more.....
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familyschoolcare 11:01 AM 01-21-2012
I do not htink God intended for two years old to learn much "academically. "

Two years old are very full of energy and curiosity.

You should not fell bad because your niece acts the way children her age are supposed to.

As for the "At her other care center they were doing numbers and letters colors by now." I worked at a center like that and the learning of numbers and letters in the two years old class was all for show. The children learned very little.

example: for circle time they had a shapes chart and the teacher had a nice little song the children memorized about each shape. They would sing the song the teacher would point to the shape as they sung the song. In a few weeks when parents picked up the children where able to point to the shapes and name them. The children could only do this in the order the shapes "appeared" in the song. When you randomly pointed to a shape and asked them what it's naem was they did not know.

I (someone with a degree in elementary education) does not condiser this learning. Some professionals say this is early leaning and makes it easeir for the children to learn the sahpes names when they are ready. I think that this kind of "playfull" learning, can not hurt. Provided that it is in balance with actualy playing time.

With all that said maybe you could try to find out what kind of learning your family wants for the little one.
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My3cents 10:57 AM 02-02-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
hoping for little encourgament
Dave,

Do you have a clear contract and policy book? IF you don't put one in place and plan to change it a lot your first few years of doing care. Make it clear to her that you are a business and you want her to respect that. The rules are the same for you as everyone else.

Being a father you know she does not have the experience that you have, all you can do is show her kindness and brush off her rudeness and what not...because she does not have the experiences that comes with time and maturity. Teach her by setting an example as you have but don't take it all on, family or not. Having a child she made a decision to be a parent........now let her, she will learn quick. Remember she has to fail and figure things out on her own........it just sounds like that is going to be her nature and what makes her or breaks her.

Stop trying to fix everyone- its your nature I can tell. If you keep up at this rate you will be out of daycare before you really get a chance to start. Would like to see you make it. Take the advice from others here too, its all good. Be professional, not wishy washy- and if your going to take on family make it fair and known that its the same rules for everyone. Arguing with her will only push her away- just stick to the plain facts and your rules for you daycare. Don't buckle down to anyone for the career you have chosen, they don't have to like it, you don't have to explain to anyone other then your wife, and don't engage in conversation that brings you down.

Best of luck- Hope this helps you. I always enjoy your humor- even if I don't get it sometimes.
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My3cents 11:06 AM 02-02-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
So I hear from my Mil that my sil wants to take her d out of my care claiming she's not learning anything... At her other care center they were doing numbers and letters colors by now..... Um she's one! She turns two in two weeks but the kids not brilliant really! She's the reason I started my daycare in the first place so the amount of ingratitude makes me sick! I am doing the best I can but apparently not enough
one more thing, Tell your mother in law when she starts babbling at the mouth, to tell your SIL to talk to you instead of running her mouth all over the family. That will probably shut both of them up nicely. Family Gossip is not fun, wait till you hear from the horses mouth before you freak out about any of this.

Keep in mind if she has it in her mind to take her child out of your care, it's her choice, and move on. Don't let her hold it over your head to get what she wants- again have a policy, hand, rule book. Your own family should come first!!! Worrying that she will not let you see the child is worry you can not prevent......hard to hear, and I know this from personal experience in a completely different situation. Don't give anyone opportunity to have a grip hold on you like that. She could ultimately do it anyway for any reason

Show her respect but keep in mind she is probably a child in a forced to be adult situation- still no right to dump all unto you, or for you take all her dump on.

Again, hope this is food for thought and helps you-
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Tags:care courses, family members, friends/neighbors/relatives kids - risk, provider - burnout risk, relatives, training, ungrateful
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