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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Schoolagers Lying, Disrespect...aaah! Help!
Home Childcare provider 05:17 PM 06-15-2011
What do you do with your schoolagers when they flat out lie to you? Our school agers this summer are constantly lying! We can't believe anything they tell us already, and we're only two weeks into it. I tell them "we don't do that here". They say, "yes we can. Ms X lets us." But when I ask Ms X (the other teacher), she says she doesn't, I know she doesn't either, but so tired of being told that Ms x said they could do something she didn't really say they could. Of course they use it on her, too. We have really good comunication, but when things are busy, or if the other of us isn't there (like after nap when ratio goes down), we can't check with the other as easily. They're always lying about other things too. Plus I know they go home and tell their mom stuff that isn't true (She believes them). And the disrespect is awful. They tell us to "make them" and "I don't care. I AM going to." "We'll see about THAT", "So what? I don't care what you say." and other comments like that. Plus just flat out refusing to listen and then yelling at us. ("Feet on the floor please", they ignore, or get mad and say what a dumb daycare this is, and still remain where they are). At these ages you can't exactly pick them up and sit them in a chair, and even if we could, we couldn't make them stay in it. And they know we can't do anything because of all the legal stuff, so what do you do when they lie ALL the time, and are so out and out disrespectful? We want to deal with it, not just terminate them. Help?
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GretasLittleFriends 05:36 PM 06-15-2011
Are there privileges you can take away from them? I'm sure they "wouldn't care", but after two days of only being allowed to read, eat and nap they may change their tunes.

My oldest dckid is 8. She knows not to speak disrespectfully. They get time outs if they misbehave. If they don't stay in the corner, it only lasts longer. They get a minute per year (8 yrs 8 minutes). They must stay quiet and in the corner the full length, straight (not 4 minutes here and 4 minutes there.)

I remember one lesson I got in lying years ago; I was 6 (first grade). I wanted to walk home (to daycare) because the dc lady's older boys had done it the week before. It was about a 3 mile walk. I missed the bus on purpose. I got to daycare early because the bus follows a route, and I walked straight to daycare. I told the lady that my teacher made me stay after school, but I didn't come up with a reason why, just said "I don't know". She, of course, told my parents. They did get the truth out of me that night. I had to apologize to the teacher the next morning; my dad even drove me to school to do so. I had to apologize for lying and making her look bad. During this whole ordeal I was terrified that my dad was going to spank me. (He had huge hands, only swatted once, but it was enough to stay standing for hours. LOL) Anyway, he told me he wasn't going to spank me. That night, he spanked me. I was so upset because he LIED to me. He looked me square in the eye and asked "How do you like it when people lie to you? You don't like it do you? You shouldn't lie to people." To this day, I haven't quite figured out how he did it with a straight face.
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Kaddidle Care 06:16 PM 06-15-2011
Originally Posted by Home Childcare provider:
I tell them "we don't do that here". They say, "yes we can. Ms X lets us." But when I ask Ms X (the other teacher), she says she doesn't, I know she doesn't either, but so tired of being told that Ms x said they could do something she didn't really say they could.
"Well when you're in MY care, you follow MY rules." End of story.

Oh boy, the notes would be flying home big time. Parents and you need to be on the same page or your summer will be miserable. If Mama doesn't believe you, then Mama can find someone else to watch her little angel.
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jessrlee 04:54 AM 06-16-2011
It sounds to me like they need to sit and read. Or do worksheets, or any other dull mind numbing activity you can come up with. When they want to know why, tell them no fun activities without excellent behavior! If they don't want to do what the group is doing they can lay down.

As for back talking etc. Sit them on the wall! It is too bad about mom though, you will have a harder road to travel with mom not in your corner. I always report behaior right in front of the child. So if mom needs to know that Tommy has a kicking problem, Tommy has to stand right there while I tell mom and outline the disipline I have used and his behavior. That way there is no going home with a different story.
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countrymom 05:33 AM 06-16-2011
acually, I would call all the parties involved, the children, the teachers and the parents. Have a group meeting, nothing worse to a kid when their parents show up and have to hear what is going on. This is the only way you can fix it, making them do things or taking things away doesn't work, you need to hit them where it hurts the most---getting the parents involved.
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boysx5 05:56 AM 06-16-2011
I could never do school agers I would rather live in a box
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Cat Herder 06:03 AM 06-16-2011
Call your local Sheriffs Dept. and see what free educational program they are offering right now.

They may have the perfect guest speaker for you.

We had a parade of folks doing their community service who had to come out and tell the story of how they turned out to be a dirt bag by their OWN LIFE CHOICES.

Funny how the "toughest" kid (ringleader) always seems to annoy the guest speakers just enough for them to want to make their point VERY clear....

I wonder HOW they always know which one it is...?
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Meyou 06:52 AM 06-16-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Call your local Sheriffs Dept. and see what free educational program they are offering right now.

They may have the perfect guest speaker for you.

We had a parade of folks doing their community service who had to come out and tell the story of how they turned out to be a dirt bag by their OWN LIFE CHOICES.

Funny how the "toughest" kid (ringleader) always seems to annoy the guest speakers just enough for them to want to make their point VERY clear....

I wonder HOW they always know which one it is...?
\\

Oh my goodness you crack me up some days!!

I love your little streak of evil.

I would lay down the law and make your house very, very unfun until they start to behave as pp have suggested.
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Tags:disrespectful, lying, school-age
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