Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Bad Choice Of Family? How To Deal With This?
DaisyMamma 12:36 PM 08-29-2012
I enrolled a DCB of a single dad.
Upon enrollment, he says mom is out of the picture due to cps and is not allowed to pick him up, etc etc etc.
Now suddenly mom is back in the picture, seems to be staying at his house. She does not work. DCB is supposedly still going to be coming to aftercare.
My guess is that cps doesn't know mom is at the house and DCB needs to come to daycare so they don't find out.
My next guess is that as soon as cps gives the green light for mom to be back in the picture that DCB will not be coming anymore.
Anyway, I have only one space available in my daycare. Another family with 2 kids is interested in coming! If the before mentioned DCB leaves I will have enough room.
UGH.
How to deal withthis??
Upon enrollment, he says mom is out of the picture due to cps and is not allowed to pick him up, etc etc etc.
Now suddenly mom is back in the picture, seems to be staying at his house. She does not work. DCB is supposedly still going to be coming to aftercare.
My guess is that cps doesn't know mom is at the house and DCB needs to come to daycare so they don't find out.
My next guess is that as soon as cps gives the green light for mom to be back in the picture that DCB will not be coming anymore.
Anyway, I have only one space available in my daycare. Another family with 2 kids is interested in coming! If the before mentioned DCB leaves I will have enough room.
UGH.
How to deal withthis??
familyschoolcare 12:51 PM 08-29-2012
First thing first ...
So did you see anything in writing tell you that mom can not pick up or cannot be in the boys life?
Have you seen mom?
How do you know that mom is now in the picture?
What if anything did DCB say about mom?
YOur obligations might be different depending on the answers to the above questions.
So did you see anything in writing tell you that mom can not pick up or cannot be in the boys life?
Have you seen mom?
How do you know that mom is now in the picture?
What if anything did DCB say about mom?
YOur obligations might be different depending on the answers to the above questions.
DaisyMamma 01:28 PM 08-29-2012
Dad said he had something in writing, but I never saw it.
I have seen mom.
I know mom is in the picture because, a. I saw her and b. DCB didnt come today because mom got him off the bus at dads house today.
Today was suppose to be DCBs first day.
I have seen mom.
I know mom is in the picture because, a. I saw her and b. DCB didnt come today because mom got him off the bus at dads house today.
Today was suppose to be DCBs first day.
Blackcat31 01:40 PM 08-29-2012
Your "guesses" may not be correct as far as what is actually going on between mom, dad and CPS, but the one thing I have learned in this business is to always go with your gut instincts.
If you honestly feel this current family is going to be more work than they are worth, I would consider terming them and seeking a new enrollment.
I am NOT saying this family IS going to be trouble or that CPS and the mom thing is going to be a headache but if you really feel that it is going to be a headache then listen to your instincts.
If you honestly feel this current family is going to be more work than they are worth, I would consider terming them and seeking a new enrollment.
I am NOT saying this family IS going to be trouble or that CPS and the mom thing is going to be a headache but if you really feel that it is going to be a headache then listen to your instincts.
daycare 01:43 PM 08-29-2012
this is a tough one..
i would be telling DCD that you need that paper work by XYZ date and if you don't have it, you will let DCK go.
That might be the easiest way out..
also are you still in the two week trail?
i would be telling DCD that you need that paper work by XYZ date and if you don't have it, you will let DCK go.
That might be the easiest way out..
also are you still in the two week trail?
cheerfuldom 01:53 PM 08-29-2012
I would have an immediate discussion with DCD. You need to know, legally, what rights the mom has to this boy. If they are evasive or not following the legal agreement or asking you to do something illegal, then I would term immediately.
DaisyMamma 01:53 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
this is a tough one..
i would be telling DCD that you need that paper work by XYZ date and if you don't have it, you will let DCK go.
That might be the easiest way out..
also are you still in the two week trail?
Ive never required a two week trial. I should.this is a tough one..
i would be telling DCD that you need that paper work by XYZ date and if you don't have it, you will let DCK go.
That might be the easiest way out..
also are you still in the two week trail?
The "deposit" he gave me was a check that he requested I not cash, but he will give me cash tomorrow instead, so tomorrow will be the deciding factor. If I dont get a payment I will call the other family. I feel like I made a poor choice enrolling this family, but I will at least see it through until payment is an issue, seeing as thats tomorrow.
daycare 01:59 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Ive never required a two week trial. I should.
The "deposit" he gave me was a check that he requested I not cash, but he will give me cash tomorrow instead, so tomorrow will be the deciding factor. If I dont get a payment I will call the other family. I feel like I made a poor choice enrolling this family, but I will at least see it through until payment is an issue, seeing as thats tomorrow.
if you are thinking of keeping the boy becuase of $$$ you will never be happy....trust me when I tell you this.Ive never required a two week trial. I should.
The "deposit" he gave me was a check that he requested I not cash, but he will give me cash tomorrow instead, so tomorrow will be the deciding factor. If I dont get a payment I will call the other family. I feel like I made a poor choice enrolling this family, but I will at least see it through until payment is an issue, seeing as thats tomorrow.
If you have a gut feeling that it won't work out, I would pull the plug now and take on the other family. You have to do what is best for you and your company....
DaisyMamma 02:08 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
if you are thinking of keeping the boy becuase of $$$ you will never be happy....trust me when I tell you this.
If you have a gut feeling that it won't work out, I would pull the plug now and take on the other family. You have to do what is best for you and your company....
Im not really worried about the $. Its an easy out if he doesnt pay tomorrow, thats all.if you are thinking of keeping the boy becuase of $$$ you will never be happy....trust me when I tell you this.
If you have a gut feeling that it won't work out, I would pull the plug now and take on the other family. You have to do what is best for you and your company....
I get concerned about terming families because of being in such a small town...
DaisyMamma 02:11 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would have an immediate discussion with DCD. You need to know, legally, what rights the mom has to this boy. If they are evasive or not following the legal agreement or asking you to do something illegal, then I would term immediately.
I figure the less I know, the better. Id rather not be involved, but now that you say it out loud I can see that I already am involved. I would have an immediate discussion with DCD. You need to know, legally, what rights the mom has to this boy. If they are evasive or not following the legal agreement or asking you to do something illegal, then I would term immediately.
daycare 02:15 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Im not really worried about the $. Its an easy out if he doesnt pay tomorrow, thats all.
I get concerned about terming families because of being in such a small town...
I am also in a small town and trust me I have some people that i am on their poop-list...lolIm not really worried about the $. Its an easy out if he doesnt pay tomorrow, thats all.
I get concerned about terming families because of being in such a small town...
BUT I can't please everyone and I am not going to try. If you are professional about it, then there should not be anything to worry about.
I tell parents at interviews that my DC is not for everyone and that I am also looking for that right fit for my group. I tell them that there are people who have tried my services and don't like it and then there are those that love me.
I tell them as much as I want to please everyone and be able to meet everyones needs, I'm not superman. It makes them laugh and they get it.
Lilbutterflie 02:21 PM 08-29-2012
You could tell DCD that you are required to keep paperwork on file when CPS is involved; and you need copies of that paperwork turned in ASAP. For legal reasons, you really need to have this paperwork in your possession!!
Then, once you have the paperwork; you can see exactly what restrictions there are on mom. How do you know that mom is in the picture?
I wouldn't term this family based on only this, or based on the fact that there is another family who wants the spot. It just isn't fair, IMHO.
Then, once you have the paperwork; you can see exactly what restrictions there are on mom. How do you know that mom is in the picture?
I wouldn't term this family based on only this, or based on the fact that there is another family who wants the spot. It just isn't fair, IMHO.
BumbleBee 03:16 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
I enrolled a DCB of a single dad.
Upon enrollment, he says mom is out of the picture due to cps and is not allowed to pick him up, etc etc etc.
Now suddenly mom is back in the picture, seems to be staying at his house. She does not work. DCB is supposedly still going to be coming to aftercare.
My guess is that cps doesn't know mom is at the house and DCB needs to come to daycare so they don't find out.
My next guess is that as soon as cps gives the green light for mom to be back in the picture that DCB will not be coming anymore.
Anyway, I have only one space available in my daycare. Another family with 2 kids is interested in coming! If the before mentioned DCB leaves I will have enough room.
UGH.
How to deal withthis??
If a parent says to me "other parent cannot pick up" I need to see the paper work and have a copy of said paper work on file. I cannot legally keep a child away from a parent without proper documentation-meaning from the court. I would have an immediate discussion with dcd and tell him you need the papers asap.I enrolled a DCB of a single dad.
Upon enrollment, he says mom is out of the picture due to cps and is not allowed to pick him up, etc etc etc.
Now suddenly mom is back in the picture, seems to be staying at his house. She does not work. DCB is supposedly still going to be coming to aftercare.
My guess is that cps doesn't know mom is at the house and DCB needs to come to daycare so they don't find out.
My next guess is that as soon as cps gives the green light for mom to be back in the picture that DCB will not be coming anymore.
Anyway, I have only one space available in my daycare. Another family with 2 kids is interested in coming! If the before mentioned DCB leaves I will have enough room.
UGH.
How to deal withthis??
The other "issue" is if the legal documentation states that mom cannot be around/pick up the child and you are aware that mom is back in the picture, you could be in trouble with the state if you don't report it.
There is a reason the state banned mom from being around child.
The other thing is, dad told you mom can't pick up child but there is no documentation. In that case, I wouldn't think you could legally deny mom from picking up, just on dads word alone.
In short, talk to dad & get the paper work. If there is none-I would term for lying. To me, that's a big red flag. If he refuses to get the paper work, let him know that without the paper work you cannot deny a parent access to their child.
BumbleBee 03:19 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Im not really worried about the $. Its an easy out if he doesnt pay tomorrow, thats all.
I get concerned about terming families because of being in such a small town...
I'm in a small town as well (498) and I worry about this to. ((Hugs))Im not really worried about the $. Its an easy out if he doesnt pay tomorrow, thats all.
I get concerned about terming families because of being in such a small town...
Lilbutterflie 03:19 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
If a parent says to me "other parent cannot pick up" I need to see the paper work and have a copy of said paper work on file. I cannot legally keep a child away from a parent without proper documentation-meaning from the court. I would have an immediate discussion with dcd and tell him you need the papers asap.
The other "issue" is if the legal documentation states that mom cannot be around/pick up the child and you are aware that mom is back in the picture, you could be in trouble with the state if you don't report it.
There is a reason the state banned mom from being around child.
The other thing is, dad told you mom can't pick up child but there is no documentation. In that case, I wouldn't think you could legally deny mom from picking up, just on dads word alone.
In short, talk to dad & get the paper work. If there is none-I would term for lying. To me, that's a big red flag. If he refuses to get the paper work, let him know that without the paper work you cannot deny a parent access to their child.
VERY WELL SAID!If a parent says to me "other parent cannot pick up" I need to see the paper work and have a copy of said paper work on file. I cannot legally keep a child away from a parent without proper documentation-meaning from the court. I would have an immediate discussion with dcd and tell him you need the papers asap.
The other "issue" is if the legal documentation states that mom cannot be around/pick up the child and you are aware that mom is back in the picture, you could be in trouble with the state if you don't report it.
There is a reason the state banned mom from being around child.
The other thing is, dad told you mom can't pick up child but there is no documentation. In that case, I wouldn't think you could legally deny mom from picking up, just on dads word alone.
In short, talk to dad & get the paper work. If there is none-I would term for lying. To me, that's a big red flag. If he refuses to get the paper work, let him know that without the paper work you cannot deny a parent access to their child.
My3cents 03:25 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
If a parent says to me "other parent cannot pick up" I need to see the paper work and have a copy of said paper work on file. I cannot legally keep a child away from a parent without proper documentation-meaning from the court. I would have an immediate discussion with dcd and tell him you need the papers asap.
The other "issue" is if the legal documentation states that mom cannot be around/pick up the child and you are aware that mom is back in the picture, you could be in trouble with the state if you don't report it.
There is a reason the state banned mom from being around child.
The other thing is, dad told you mom can't pick up child but there is no documentation. In that case, I wouldn't think you could legally deny mom from picking up, just on dads word alone.
In short, talk to dad & get the paper work. If there is none-I would term for lying. To me, that's a big red flag. If he refuses to get the paper work, let him know that without the paper work you cannot deny a parent access to their child.
If a parent says to me "other parent cannot pick up" I need to see the paper work and have a copy of said paper work on file. I cannot legally keep a child away from a parent without proper documentation-meaning from the court. I would have an immediate discussion with dcd and tell him you need the papers asap.
The other "issue" is if the legal documentation states that mom cannot be around/pick up the child and you are aware that mom is back in the picture, you could be in trouble with the state if you don't report it.
There is a reason the state banned mom from being around child.
The other thing is, dad told you mom can't pick up child but there is no documentation. In that case, I wouldn't think you could legally deny mom from picking up, just on dads word alone.
In short, talk to dad & get the paper work. If there is none-I would term for lying. To me, that's a big red flag. If he refuses to get the paper work, let him know that without the paper work you cannot deny a parent access to their child.
cheerfuldom 04:46 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
I figure the less I know, the better. Id rather not be involved, but now that you say it out loud I can see that I already am involved.
oh its dangerous to not know enough....its your responsibility as a provider to know who is legally allowed to be around this child. you could be putting yourself in a very bad situation by remaining ignorant on the details of this arrangment.....as well as putting this boy in a bad situation.I figure the less I know, the better. Id rather not be involved, but now that you say it out loud I can see that I already am involved.
slpender 05:44 PM 08-29-2012
I think I would let this family go. They could cause more problems down the road. There is a reason CPS is in their lives and if you know the Mom is there
and she legally is not allowed you could also be in trouble down the road if something ever happens because you did not report it.
and she legally is not allowed you could also be in trouble down the road if something ever happens because you did not report it.
thatdivalady 06:06 PM 08-29-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Ive never required a two week trial. I should.
The "deposit" he gave me was a check that he requested I not cash, but he will give me cash tomorrow instead, so tomorrow will be the deciding factor. If I dont get a payment I will call the other family. I feel like I made a poor choice enrolling this family, but I will at least see it through until payment is an issue, seeing as thats tomorrow.
Honestly, it's your business at the end of the day and it is up to you as to whether you have decided that this family is not a good fit. I personally do not take any payment that cannot be applied immediately as payment. I also feel like you should always go with your gut. If the other two children are a sure thing then I would go for it based on how you are feeling at the moment.Ive never required a two week trial. I should.
The "deposit" he gave me was a check that he requested I not cash, but he will give me cash tomorrow instead, so tomorrow will be the deciding factor. If I dont get a payment I will call the other family. I feel like I made a poor choice enrolling this family, but I will at least see it through until payment is an issue, seeing as thats tomorrow.
Also, maybe revise your policies to include the 2 week trial period because that will help you out tremendously.
Crystal 06:17 PM 08-29-2012
I agree with cheerfuldom and trummynme...
I would be asking Dad immediately for the paperwork. If he cannot provide it, let him know that you are required by law to contact CPS. You are a mandated reporter. The Dad has expressed to you that there is an active CPS case and that Mom is not to see the child. THAT statement is enough "probable cause" for you to call CPS and report the situation. In addition, you KNOW that Mom is actively seeing child.....if you don't report and there IS an open case, you could be in hot water. Call CPS, let them investigate if there is an open case....if there is not, they will likely not investigate it further. Let it be up to them.
If you are feeling uncomfortable and as though you cannot work with this family, it is well within your rights to term care and accept the other family.
Good luck.
I would be asking Dad immediately for the paperwork. If he cannot provide it, let him know that you are required by law to contact CPS. You are a mandated reporter. The Dad has expressed to you that there is an active CPS case and that Mom is not to see the child. THAT statement is enough "probable cause" for you to call CPS and report the situation. In addition, you KNOW that Mom is actively seeing child.....if you don't report and there IS an open case, you could be in hot water. Call CPS, let them investigate if there is an open case....if there is not, they will likely not investigate it further. Let it be up to them.
If you are feeling uncomfortable and as though you cannot work with this family, it is well within your rights to term care and accept the other family.
Good luck.
DaisyMamma 02:43 PM 08-30-2012
Well, as I had expected and hoped, DCF dropped out today. Now I have room for the other two. Hopefully that works out. «fingers crossed»
daycare 02:46 PM 08-30-2012
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
Well, as I had expected and hoped, DCF dropped out today. Now I have room for the other two. Hopefully that works out. «fingers crossed»
yeah for you!! glad that you didnt have to do anything but sit back and let things unfold on their own.Well, as I had expected and hoped, DCF dropped out today. Now I have room for the other two. Hopefully that works out. «fingers crossed»
Hugs and Happiness sent your way!!! I hope that it all works out!!!