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MissAnn 04:39 AM 12-17-2014
How much does it bug you when a dad carries in a 4 year old and then says in a baby voice to that child....."hugs and kissies!!!!"

Just had to get that off my chest.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:08 AM 12-17-2014
It used to bother me a lot more than it does now. It seems to be the "new thing" for little boys and little girls who are the youngest or an only child. If it is a little girl then DAD seems to carry her in and if it is a little boy then MOM seems to carry him in. I had a family JUST stop doing this a week before the child turned 5. That Mom also took off his shoes for him and would ask him to please give her his foot. Really.
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AuntTami 05:12 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
How much does it bug you when a dad carries in a 4 year old and then says in a baby voice to that child....."hugs and kissies!!!!"

Just had to get that off my chest.
It doesn't because I have one kiddo who's dad lives in our town but he rarely ever sees him. The kiddo asks for dada every.single.day. I had to have DCM have DCD watch the boy last weekend as I needed to do something. DCM said she's never letting DCD watch the little one again. He was THAT much of a jerk about "babysitting" his own kid. So no, it doesn't bother me when a father actively takes a role in a child's life, regardless of their age, even if that means listening to a little bit of baby talk in the morning. At least he cares enough to want hugs and kisses. The DCD I referred to does "knuckles" with his son(who is 1.5) so he doesn't have to hug and kiss him......
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:19 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
It doesn't because I have one kiddo who's dad lives in our town but he rarely ever sees him. The kiddo asks for dada every.single.day. I had to have DCM have DCD watch the boy last weekend as I needed to do something. DCM said she's never letting DCD watch the little one again. He was THAT much of a jerk about "babysitting" his own kid. So no, it doesn't bother me when a father actively takes a role in a child's life, regardless of their age, even if that means listening to a little bit of baby talk in the morning. At least he cares enough to want hugs and kisses. The DCD I referred to does "knuckles" with his son(who is 1.5) so he doesn't have to hug and kiss him......
That's just sad and emotionally neglectful. Polar opposite end of the baby talk/carrying an older child in daily.
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AuntTami 05:24 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
That's just sad and emotionally neglectful. Polar opposite end of the baby talk/carrying an older child in daily.
It is. It breaks my heart for this little boy. He's THE sweetest little boy. I love him like he's my own family, it's hard not to. And as I find out more and more about the dad, the more I love the little boy, because I feel terrible for him!

It is the opposite end of the spectrum. But having him here makes me less annoyed by the "hovering" parents because at least they care. I know the dad LOVES the little one but he's just..... Ugh. He's got 2 kids and hardly sees either of them. It breaks my heart for the DCB
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Blackcat31 05:30 AM 12-17-2014
Yes. It saddens me when parents don't allow their children to do the things they are perfectly capable of doing.

Maria Montessori said it best "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed"

Not only is it enabling but in a way it's insulting.

In NO WAY do I view a parent carrying their 4 year old as a parent being actively involved....in my opinion it's the exact opposite...it's coddling them and trying to appease their own sense of feeling as though they are missing out on something so because of that, they are trying to keep their child a baby and that isn't fair to the child. Only the adult.

I give my parents a hard time about it if they carry their kids 4+ yrs and older in. I let the know that there are other ways they can bond with and spend time with their child. Carrying them when they can (and usually want to) walk on their own is selfish on the parents part in my opinion.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:38 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Yes. It saddens me when parents don't allow their children to do the things they are perfectly capable of doing.

Maria Montessori said it best "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed"

Not only is it enabling but in a way it's insulting.

In NO WAY do I view a parent carrying their 4 year old as a parent being actively involved....in my opinion it's the exact opposite...it's coddling them and trying to appease their own sense of feeling as though they are missing out on something so because of that, they are trying to keep their child a baby and that isn't fair to the child. Only the adult.

I give my parents a hard time about it if they carry their kids 4+ yrs and older in. I let the know that there are other ways they can bond with and spend time with their child. Carrying them when they can (and usually want to) walk on their own is selfish on the parents part in my opinion.
I agree. I have yet to meet a parent who "coddles" that doesn't have it negatively effect their child in 1+ ways.
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Shell 06:00 AM 12-17-2014
10! I cannot stand when parents do this- I do all I can to keep from rolling my eyes. This one's up there with parents that carry their way too big infants in carriers while practically knocking themselves over- take the kid out ofntheo friggen seat!!!
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MissAnn 06:05 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I agree. I have yet to meet a parent who "coddles" that doesn't have it negatively effect their child in 1+ ways.
Exactly. If it were just the carrying the boy in I think it would irritate me because I feel 3 and 4 year olds are plenty old enough to walk themselves in. Mixing that with the baby talk sends a message that the kid is still a baby and not capable of moving on into the big kid world. This dad tries to take off his kids coat and shoes.....but I stop him there.....no, he can do that for himself. I feel it stifles their development when parents "do" what their kids are so capable of doing for themselves.
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Second Home 06:18 AM 12-17-2014
I have 1 dcd who carries in his ( very small for his age ) 4yr old when it is raining or snowing out . I like it because his shoes are not wet or muddy and I don't have to clean the floor after him .

But he does not baby talk thing or do it when the weather is nice .
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midaycare 06:31 AM 12-17-2014
It's weird but thankfully none of my dcf's do it. I see a lot of that in stores and malls. Kids who are 4, 5, and 6 in strollers
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daycarediva 08:01 AM 12-17-2014
I agree with BC. I had a former dcg in K who was carried in/out and to/from the bus by her parents. She couldn't wipe when she started K, she couldn't put ON her own shoes, zip, button, etc. She and the parents had a rude awakening!
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cara041083 08:08 AM 12-17-2014
I have a 4 year old that the mom carry him in, with a blanky and used to bring a bottle * he's on it at home still) and then she try to sit on my couch and hold him and rock him (I put a stop to it). He is also not potty trained and where I live the public school starts pre school at the grade school and she think abduction hes ready.
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TheGoodLife 08:41 AM 12-17-2014
I see it two ways- I will carry my kids (between 2 and 5) if they ask and IF I'm able/willing to. I love to snuggle and I consider that a form of cuddling. Now mind you, this is short distances, not carting them around everywhere. Before I was a provider I'm sure I carried my oldest (then 2/3) into daycare at times, BUT I don't think of it as babying. I stress self-help skills and teach my kids to do what they can for themselves (if not just for them, for my own sanity as well ) Now when a parent does it, and everything else, for a child- that bugs me! Or when they do it because the child is throwing a fit! That is setting your child up for a harsh reality (as well as all their teachers/caregivers!)
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daycare 08:45 AM 12-17-2014
cyber smack me if you want, but I baby and carry my 7 year old.

he is my youngest, Hes a miracle to be alive and I can't have anymore so he will always be my baby no matter what.

BUT when it's time for him to have to do things on his own, I don't do things for him, I make him do everything on his own.
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Blackcat31 09:39 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by TheGoodLife:
I see it two ways- I will carry my kids (between 2 and 5) if they ask and IF I'm able/willing to. I love to snuggle and I consider that a form of cuddling. Now mind you, this is short distances, not carting them around everywhere. Before I was a provider I'm sure I carried my oldest (then 2/3) into daycare at times, BUT I don't think of it as babying. I stress self-help skills and teach my kids to do what they can for themselves (if not just for them, for my own sanity as well ) Now when a parent does it, and everything else, for a child- that bugs me! Or when they do it because the child is throwing a fit! That is setting your child up for a harsh reality (as well as all their teachers/caregivers!)
Originally Posted by daycare:
cyber smack me if you want, but I baby and carry my 7 year old.

he is my youngest, Hes a miracle to be alive and I can't have anymore so he will always be my baby no matter what.

BUT when it's time for him to have to do things on his own, I don't do things for him, I make him do everything on his own.
That is the difference though....

Knowing the difference between cuddling and coddling.

Depending on the situation and the child, it could be a positive thing (good example GoodLife) or a negative thing...such as some of the examples others have posted in regards to the child not being willing OR able to have developmentally appropriate self-help skills.
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permanentvacation 10:19 AM 12-17-2014
When I read that, I thought, Oh God, shoot me! I can't stand that! It's a 10 for me! But it does seem to happen with many of my kids now. And many of my kids for the past few years are much less capable than the kids I had 10 years ago. The parents overall are treating their children like little babies. They don't make them walk, don't make them speak correctly, don't make them clean up, don't teach them how to put their coats or clothes on for themselves, etc. I am horribly irritated by the way parents treat their children like babies.
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SignMeUp 10:45 AM 12-17-2014
I have a child who began here at age three. He did not even lift a foot to put into the shoe - mom had to do it all. Or an arm into a sleeve - he did not push, she had to 'fish' it through like a tiny baby. My goodness, my 8 month old pushes her arms through

I just worked on it here after realizing mom had zero interest in doing so. A year later and he's fully capable and can even zip Yahoo! Mom still does everything when she's here though
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MissAnn 10:49 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
When I read that, I thought, Oh God, shoot me! I can't stand that! It's a 10 for me! But it does seem to happen with many of my kids now. And many of my kids for the past few years are much less capable than the kids I had 10 years ago. The parents overall are treating their children like little babies. They don't make them walk, don't make them speak correctly, don't make them clean up, don't teach them how to put their coats or clothes on for themselves, etc. I am horribly irritated by the way parents treat their children like babies.


I had a mom aske me how the kids up on the toilet.....her kid was almost 4.
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MissAnn 10:50 AM 12-17-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:


I had a mom aske me how the kids up on the toilet.....her kid was almost 4.
Really bugs me that I put a e on ask.
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Bookworm 06:09 PM 12-17-2014
We had a DCB-3 who had serious speech issues. No one could understand him. He didn't know how to dress himself at all and had problems drinking from a styrofoam cup. Then one day dad dropped off and everything made sense. I never heard such baby talk to a 3 yr old in my life. It almost sounded like dad was talking to a dog. He got accepted into 4k and sadly we never found out if he had any improvement.
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permanentvacation 06:21 PM 12-17-2014
MissAnn,

Regarding the toilet question, I believe it! Some parents just amaze me!
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permanentvacation 06:23 PM 12-17-2014
MissAnn,

Regarding the toilet question, I fully believe it! Some parents amaze me!
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DaveA 04:46 AM 12-18-2014
On a 1-10 scale I'd say a 5.

Yes - it's annoying and counterproductive. On the flip side I've seen more than enough unattached/ uncaring/ emotionally distant parents to not get too upset about it.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:32 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
I have a child who began here at age three. He did not even lift a foot to put into the shoe - mom had to do it all. Or an arm into a sleeve - he did not push, she had to 'fish' it through like a tiny baby. My goodness, my 8 month old pushes her arms through

I just worked on it here after realizing mom had zero interest in doing so. A year later and he's fully capable and can even zip Yahoo! Mom still does everything when she's here though
I have a 3yo here that didn't have a CLUE how to take their sock OFF. I had honestly never met a child that had no idea how to take it off. I had to teach and we are still working on this skill. Nevermind putting it on...
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Former Teacher 08:51 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
How much does it bug you when a dad carries in a 4 year old and then says in a baby voice to that child....."hugs and kissies!!!!"

Just had to get that off my chest.
I had a boy in Pre-K years ago. He would ALWAYS answer (in a whiney voice) with "Whaty?". I would say No Wesley, not whaty? It is what? or Yes Ma'am? etc

One day, the father dropped him off. Wesley said in that whiney voice "Daddy!". Yep you guessed it. The father turned around and said in an equally whiney voice "Whaty?"

I wanted to scream!
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MissAnn 03:59 AM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
I had a boy in Pre-K years ago. He would ALWAYS answer (in a whiney voice) with "Whaty?". I would say No Wesley, not whaty? It is what? or Yes Ma'am? etc

One day, the father dropped him off. Wesley said in that whiney voice "Daddy!". Yep you guessed it. The father turned around and said in an equally whiney voice "Whaty?"

I wanted to scream!
Aaaaaaaargh.......I just spit out my coffee! Did you tell that dad to use his big boy voice?
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MissAnn 04:01 AM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I have a 3yo here that didn't have a CLUE how to take their sock OFF. I had honestly never met a child that had no idea how to take it off. I had to teach and we are still working on this skill. Nevermind putting it on...
Babies take socks OFF! It's a good thing he is with you!if I get a kid with very low self help skills I will work very hard to get him up to par. I don't want them to go off to kindergarten and for that kindergarten teacher to think I didn't teach them anything!sending kids to kindergarten well prepared is very good advertising!
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AuntTami 04:17 AM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
I had a boy in Pre-K years ago. He would ALWAYS answer (in a whiney voice) with "Whaty?". I would say No Wesley, not whaty? It is what? or Yes Ma'am? etc

One day, the father dropped him off. Wesley said in that whiney voice "Daddy!". Yep you guessed it. The father turned around and said in an equally whiney voice "Whaty?"

I wanted to scream!
lol. I'm 27 and my dad still responds "whaty" when I say "daddy" lol.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:14 AM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Babies take socks OFF! It's a good thing he is with you!if I get a kid with very low self help skills I will work very hard to get him up to par. I don't want them to go off to kindergarten and for that kindergarten teacher to think I didn't teach them anything!sending kids to kindergarten well prepared is very good advertising!
I think there are some bigger issues at play here, but Mom did say she coddles her kids. Not sure I can really get this little one fully up to par since he is only here 2x/week but I will try.
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