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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I Expecting Too Much? Long
Play Care 05:26 AM 05-17-2016
Current group is two 5 yo (one boy, one girl), one (very immature/speech delayed) 3.5 yo, and two new 2 yo's (one is on target/advanced, the other is the brother of the 3 yo and showing the same signs of delay)

Anyhoo, the two brothers especially are wild. Despite toys and other kids their favorite games are rolling all over each other, being where they are not allowed, and running through the house Add to that the 3 yo has severe speech delay and we can't understand him most of the time...5 yo girl is unable to sit still and play even for short periods. Always asking to do something other than the scheduled activities, when given the alternative projects it lasts for a couple of minutes before she's asking to do something else...Preschool teachers have also commented on it and I suspect K will be a rough adjustment. So out of 5 FT kiddos, 2 seem to be "typical"...sigh...

In the mornings I have to shut off the play room and set up three - four stations until after breakfast/clean up. Otherwise the brothers and 5 yo girl tear apart the play room. I've been complimented before on my set up by an evaluator from our CCR&R agency, so I don't feel it's completely inappropriate.
This morning, for example, the two brothers have already tried several times to move the play kitchen closing off the play room, got spoken to for rolling on each other and running. The 5 yo girl has asked several times why it's closed, if she can have blocks, when/if we are going outside, telling me stories for attention, doing cartwheels, etc.

Keep in mind I've only been open for 30 minutes, and most of that time they were eating. So it's not hours of limited play here. And before anyone asks - yes we get HOURS of outside time. HOURS. And we'll get out as soon as breakfast is cleaned up. But kids need to eat, and food mess/dishes need to be cleaned up.

This has been our routine since September. And the three kiddos especially don't get it. Still.
Am I expecting too much? Is this something I should make more of an effort to "teach" (i.e. how to play 101 )

Admittedly I find myself more frustrated with the 5 yo girl. Right now she's spinning in circles in the room after I just reminded her what she's is supposed to be doing, for the 500th time
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Miss A 05:36 AM 05-17-2016
I can understand your frustration, and think to help you minimize it I would suggest going "back to basics", and maybe work on teaching them how to play. I have had success at settings a timer for each activity and encouraging play until the timer goes off. Also, with the stations you are setting up, can you designate one for each of your rough and tumble brothers? Another thing I had success with when I taught 3's preschool was having a class meeting, and asking the kids what they think the rules mean, and to then work on defining the rules more clearly for them.
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Play Care 05:58 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by Miss A:
I can understand your frustration, and think to help you minimize it I would suggest going "back to basics", and maybe work on teaching them how to play. I have had success at settings a timer for each activity and encouraging play until the timer goes off. Also, with the stations you are setting up, can you designate one for each of your rough and tumble brothers? Another thing I had success with when I taught 3's preschool was having a class meeting, and asking the kids what they think the rules mean, and to then work on defining the rules more clearly for them.
I can't keep the brothers apart unless one is up in a booster/high chair. They simply either don't listen or understand. With typically developing 3.5 yo, I could do what you suggest but my guy is probably emotionally a year to a year and a half behind. It should work with 5 yo girl and that's a start.
The tough part is I'm also trying to clean up from breakfast during this time and don't have additional staff to sit with the kiddos. I never felt right about keeping them in their seats during clean up (or really needed to with other groups) but may have to with the boys.
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Miss A 06:58 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I can't keep the brothers apart unless one is up in a booster/high chair. They simply either don't listen or understand. With typically developing 3.5 yo, I could do what you suggest but my guy is probably emotionally a year to a year and a half behind. It should work with 5 yo girl and that's a start.
The tough part is I'm also trying to clean up from breakfast during this time and don't have additional staff to sit with the kiddos. I never felt right about keeping them in their seats during clean up (or really needed to with other groups) but may have to with the boys.
Could you provide them with table activities while you are able to focus on cleaning the kitchen? Even just a simple coloring page of their favorite character? I feel for ya, and I wish I had a better suggestion for you!
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rosieteddy 07:22 AM 05-17-2016
My last group was a lot like this.I started "papers"and table activities .The papers were from carols affordable curriculum .I told parents ahead of time that I followed a preschool curriculum but did not expect all children to "get it".It was practice .Each child had a crayon box with their personal crayons in it.After the meal I would pass out the crayons and whatever "project" we would be working on.If they scribbled -fine the older kids liked the idea. The littles copied them.I also had a couple of table activities only used after or before meals----Mr Potato heads-Millisa and D oug wooden dress-up dolls ,special puzzles and matching games.We all finished up and then went to play room.It helped a lot.
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Play Care 07:50 AM 05-17-2016
I have special table toys that I've used successfully for years. (Counting bears, peg sets, wooden stringing vehicles, etc.)Because they were not an everyday thing I found the kids really enjoyed when they came out. I'd have to pry some kids away from the table to move on to other thing.

The brothers throw the items to the ground and think it's a great game. The 5 yo is up and down and constantly asking for more/other toys activities.
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Play Care 07:55 AM 05-17-2016
And, today we've been out since 8:30ish with a quick inside break around 10:00 for potty and snack. We did bikes, backyard play ground, took a neighborhood walk, and are now doing bikes again before going in for lunch and nap. That's a typical morning here (I'd rather be out than in) but point is, we are having plenty of opportunity for outdoor/large motor/get wiggles out time
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daycarediva 09:47 AM 05-17-2016
OUCH! Rough group!

I would minimize toys to the extreme. Like blocks, sensory activity at the table, and something else they would like, cars or people maybe?

I would set out ONE table activity at arrival, minimize breakfast to the extreme. Can you do paper and/or eat outdoors to eliminate/reduce clean up?

Can you separate the brothers in different areas? I wouldn't even allow the brothers near each other.
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Play Care 09:59 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
OUCH! Rough group!

I would minimize toys to the extreme. Like blocks, sensory activity at the table, and something else they would like, cars or people maybe?

I would set out ONE table activity at arrival, minimize breakfast to the extreme. Can you do paper and/or eat outdoors to eliminate/reduce clean up?

Can you separate the brothers in different areas? I wouldn't even allow the brothers near each other.
I'm trying to eliminate breakfast completely. Most of the kids are eating before they come anyway.
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daycarediva 10:03 AM 05-17-2016
thinking more about this-

what do they do outside? Can you pull anything inside that would give them the same outlet? I had a slide/climber inside for ONE child for a while. Helped some with his climbing behavior.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:10 AM 05-17-2016
No, you're not expecting too much. That's craziness. I have 12 children here daily (ages 2.5-5) and would go bonkers with some of the things you're saying.

What happens when you tell the 5yo girl "Play time! " repeatedly or don't engage/respond and walk away?

Can you separate your play room or play rooms into two spaces? Maybe divided by some bigger toys or a shelf and sit a chair in the middle for you to keep the boys separated during play room time?
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Play Care 10:27 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
No, you're not expecting too much. That's craziness. I have 12 children here daily (ages 2.5-5) and would go bonkers with some of the things you're saying.

What happens when you tell the 5yo girl "Play time! " repeatedly or don't engage/respond and walk away?

Can you separate your play room or play rooms into two spaces? Maybe divided by some bigger toys or a shelf and sit a chair in the middle for you to keep the boys separated during play room time?
5 yo hears a version of "go play toys" daily She doesn't really nap but I insist on nap time because keeping her up would drive me bonkers.

I frequently separate the boys. But they are back at it as soon as they can. Or they'll stand at whatever divider I've used and mope/whine. Kind of like a crated dog
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Play Care 10:30 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
thinking more about this-

what do they do outside? Can you pull anything inside that would give them the same outlet? I had a slide/climber inside for ONE child for a while. Helped some with his climbing behavior.
I do have indoor climbers and we have used them quite a bit. But I have to be right there while they do it because they get crazy (especially the 2 yo) and even with me there they still usually get crazy.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:05 AM 05-17-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
5 yo hears a version of "go play toys" daily She doesn't really nap but I insist on nap time because keeping her up would drive me bonkers.

I frequently separate the boys. But they are back at it as soon as they can. Or they'll stand at whatever divider I've used and mope/whine. Kind of like a crated dog
Hmmmmmm. Have you tried an entire week of, "Go tell your buddy! " with her yet? I have some that began here thinking they'd get constant entertainment and discussions from me but thankfully that quickly ended.

I have two unrelated boys enrolled on the same two days each week that I have to keep separated. When they try and stand there looking longingly into the other room or moping I build something with blocks/magnatiles/etc. and tell them to please come finish it. If the older one isn't capable of that maybe you can get out a magna doodle and draw something and tell him to come finish it....? Redirecting constantly so they stop that bad habit. YIKES!!!! When do they leave your daycare?!
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Hunni Bee 11:48 AM 05-18-2016
I would regiment their day down to the minute. I'd do as DD said and go extreme basic with the toys. I'd make a visual schedules for each each kid, customizable with whatever you want each person to be doing (for example a picture of blocks, then coloring, then outside, then lunch etc). And for the next few weeks or so, constant referencing the schedule and redirection to whatever their schedule says. A million times a day. I'd keep a timer and set it for every 30 mninute or so chunk of time.

I had a really challenging kiddo last year. He never did get much better and they eventually ran out of goodwill with us and pulled. But I had a visual schedule and he could not argue with The Schedule. Charts and things were helpful with him because it wasn't a person that he felt he could manipulate. That should help the girl - "the schedule says you need to do blocks right now and the timer says time's not up yet, sorry." It'll be a visual reminder to the brothers of what they need to do.

As far having them sit for 10-15 minutes while you clean up, they won't break. Place the brothers as apart as humanly possible, let them do xyz activity and if they throw all the pieces down, then they'll learn not to do that in the future.
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Play Care 02:52 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by :
As far having them sit for 10-15 minutes while you clean up, they won't break. Place the brothers as apart as humanly possible, let them do xyz activity and if they throw all the pieces down, then they'll learn not to do that in the future.
Even mom has said they don't learn from experience. And it's so true, especially with the 2 yo but even with the 3.5 yo. I can't tell you how many times the 2 yo has sat without toys because he's tossed them all. And despite having the exact same bathroom routine since he's been "potty trained" the 3.5 yo still has no idea what to do in the bathroom

They do have some redeeming qualities which is why I haven't termed but they are TOUGH.
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Tags:sibling rivalry
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