SA DCG is not scheduled to be with me on Tuesdays ever. I told DCM with 48 hours advance notice or approval I can possibly take her on Tuesdays if she ever needs it.

Lately DCG has been getting off the bus at my house and coming to me with no notice. DCM texts me running late will come get her. How would she know to take the bus to me as DCM usually picks up DCG at school? She knows and is not giving me a chance to prepare for her. I never have a snack ready for her on Tuesdays and then DCG gets mad she has to get no snack as I have nothing prepared.

Today it was very sunny out after nap so we rushed our snack and went out for a walk. DCG is not scheduled.

Text from DCM at 3:27 (bus comes at 3:30) "Running late will be there shortly please DCG just wait for me inside"
Me: "We are out for a walk. I don't know if I will be back in time for her as no one gave me notice that she would be here."
DCM: "Well is your door unlocked?"
Me: "No. Nor can she be in my home if I am not present. Again, I apologize, but I am not expecting her as you did not give me proper notice to be ready for her."
DCM: "Well I wasn't expecting to get pulled over but that happened"
Me: *Igores text*

We get home about 5 minutes and they are both in my driveway I refuse to make eye contact and I just go inside and get the other daycare kids undressed. DCM proceeds to try to say something to me and I say "We will see you tomorrow morning when you're scheduled" and shut my door.

I am not trying to be harsh but I am very frustrated as this is becomig a reoccurring issue and I am not appreciating her attitude towards me when I have no notice whatsoever to be prepared for DCG.

I want to write out a formal letter to her explaining that I need 48-hour notice to care for her on an unscheduled day and I will not unlock my doors to DCG without proper notice. I am pretty flexible but when you give me literally 3 minute notice what am I supposed to do?

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Update: She just sent me a nasty text so I sent her this

Sorry I was getting the boys adjusted and getting all their stuff off and had just laid down the baby but I just want you to know that I assume that she is not going to be here on Tuesdays unless I'm given some proper notice and 3 minutes notice is not enough or appropriate and she can't be on my property if I'm not here I can get in big trouble. I understand that situations happen and usually I'm here and pretty flexible but if she is not scheduled I am not going to cater my day to assuming that she is going to be here when she usually isn't. For future reference I really need a better heads up. I appreciate you understanding that and respecting scheduled days. Again I know this was a spur of the moment thing for you and not something you planned as well but there has been a few times where she has came without any notice Tuesday afternoons and I require proper notice for non-scheduled days.

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SHE sent YOU a nasty text?? When she should be appreciating the times you have been home and received her precious when you weren't expecting them? No apology from her? Just a nasty text???
I'd be sooo done with her.

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For future reference, you allowed/accepted her into care once without notice so that does in a way make it your issue.

If this parent were to call licensing more than likely licensing would say that since you accepted/allowed unscheduled drop offs previously she (mom) has every right to assume it's always okay. KWIM?

You need to set a policy and stick to it. IF DCG shows up when not scheduled you need to call mom immediately and make sure she knows it can NOT happen again.

I hate to say this but twice in the last couple months I've read about providers on the DHS "naughty" list that were issued TIS for not being home when the bus dropped off a SA child. In atleast one incident the situation was similar to yours and the provider wasnt aware the child was coming that day but since she HAD previously shown up without being scheduled and the provider allowed it, the provider was therefore responsible.

I know it is unfair to us as providers but liability is HUGE and we all know in this profession you are always guilty until proven innocent.

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I am honestly just at a loss. I try to be flexible and I have told her I need notice but she doesnt provide it ever. What should i do keep my doors locked and ignore DCG? I feel like I have to accept her and I do tell her its not okay since she isnt schedulded. DCM has been with me since prior to me being licensed and has had a hard time adjusting! She gets upset having to pay for days of scheduled care even if DCG doesn't show up, she says I have too much paperwork and she doesn't like that, she expected me to walk DCG to bus stop 20 ft from my driveway and got mad when I said no I stay inside with the younger kids as I told you when you filled out my "permission to leave facility" form in regards to the bus stop, DCG is my only SA and she gets bored quick here no matter what I do as she has no friends her age. Next year I'm going to change my license to C1 and not take any school agers anyways. I am upset she put me in this position I made it clear she can't be here if she isn't scheduled and I don't want to keep doing this. I feel maybe I should term. I don't want to be put in a postion again where I'm held liable for her not being able to give me notice.

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She also never responded to that text I sent. I'm assuming she's upset. I am as well and I'm being very polite about the situation but I need to make sure she understands I will not allow her to put me in this position.

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BC- I emailed my licensor making her aware of the situation and made it very clear I do not accept DCG on Tuesdays and have documented proof I have told DCM she must give me proper notice. I told licensor that I am usually always home but if I want to go to the park or a walk I don't want to be held liable for a parent leaving their child unattended on my property without notice and what she recommends my next steps be or if I should literally just never walk or go to the park dueing this time on the off chance my SA will just randomly show up unscheduled?

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wow. she is ballsy. i cant imagine sending my kid on the bus with no guarenteed care in place when he is dropped off. my school, if im not here, would take him to clc care and start calling emergency pick ups and i would be in a LOT of trouble. in all honesty, i would end care and notify the school that he is not allowed to be dropped off at your house anymore. as BC said, this has now become a liability for you.

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I would have told DCM just that

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I think you are being way too polite which is coming across as wishy washy. Stop apologizing. I don't mean that in a harsh way but there is absolutely no reason for YOU to be apologizing!

I would have simply said:
"For future reference and to reiterate what has already been relayed to you regarding care on tuesdays, without 48 hours notice I cannot provide care. The next time DCG comes to my home when she is not scheduled you will be immediately terminated. I have made my licensor aware of the ongoing issue".

Your not being rude but you are also not apologizing or being wishy washy. It is very clear and you stated a clear consequence. Right now mom does not have one.

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Thank you everyone! You are right I shouldn't be apologizing and I shouldn't be sending up a signal that any of this is okay even if it's just me trying to be polite! I will be sure to tell her that it is a huge risk to me and it is not tolerable and next time I will have to terminate care immediately. I try to be "polite" because I can be very mean I used to do debt collection prior to this and I dealt with idiots with a lot of excuses on a daily basis so sometimes my tone isn't always the greatest when I am trying to be straightforward and to the point so I just try my best to be polite but it can come off as me being nice about it.

I still just can't believe this happened! My DS was in daycare from 8 months-2.5 years old. I would never imagine treating my old in-home provider the way that I am being treated in the situation. I probably honestly over communicated with her saying I might be 10 minutes late when I ended up being on time lol! I never not paid her. I came to get my son no questions asked if he was sick. I never expected her to do anything other than care for my son to the best of her abilities!

I really was pretty naive going into this whole day care thing when it came to the parents and unfortunately within only two months of being open I have literally it came across every single issue that gets discussed here on a daily basis between all my parents! Makes it hard for me but I love what I do and I feel I have a lot to offer these kiddos so I will push through it all! On a plus side of all this all of my kids are very wonderful! They take great naps, eat well and play together with ease! Oh and they LOVE all my silly activities and crafts!

I ultimately decided tonight I deserve a glass of wine and a bubble bath and I just bought myself a cool bath rack to hold said wine and it has a place for small candles and my phone! The small joys to help with DCP induced stress! Whatever happens happens and if I have to term then I will. It won't be a huge loss as she's my only SA and I was just telling DH if I can't find another SA for the summer I will term because she needs me to occupy her a lot and gets bored no matter what I try to do for/with her and I can't do that while occupying 5 other Littles who genuinely need me to occupy them.

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Enjoy your wine!

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I bet mom has her normal bus stop near your home so the child was told if Mom isn't at the bus stop to go to your house.

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She never replied to my other text but this is what I decided is the best solution for me

This is what I just sent her:

Hi DCM, If DCG is left alone on my property it poses a huge liability for me! Therefore I am asking, effective immediately, unless she is scheduled with advance notice on a Tuesday that you pick DCG up from school on Tuesdays and no longer allow her to bus to my home. Thank you for understanding. If you have any questions or concerns please let me know.

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I would give her notice to terminate. However, if you're in an area where it's hard to fill spots and you like the child , then charge her in advance for every Tue, regardless of attendance. If she refuses to pay, start trying to fill the spot and give her notice.

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It will blow over, give it time. She needs to have her tantrum and get on with her life. Your current dcps know you and you will come out on the better side of this. Intelligent people will ignore her and what she's trying to spread about you. Hold your head high and keep smiling.

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Don't give this another thought! She will go away eventually and the people in your care will form their own conclusions. One thing I always say is that usually it is not the first time a person has shown their true colours so you are not her only "victim" trust me on that!

Let it go and move on as best you can

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Thank you everyone! I am ready to move on that is forsure I don't want to fester about it. Easier said than done but I'm trying my best!

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