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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OM Gosh! The Parents Who Think Their Child Is The Only Child In Care
sahm2three 09:53 AM 12-08-2011
My screamer is in OT and speech. He has issues. Love him to pieces. He will be 2 soon. He has been in OT for a couple weeks and has been in speech for a month or so. We did the first few visits here at daycare. Now mom is doing them at home. Mom came today with a list of demands. We are to bring him in to the play area, and go from station to station reshowing things each and every time we enter the area (because he doesn't want to be put down, and so when we enter the play area, he knows that means we will be putting him down). Then when we see him getting overstimulated, we are supposed to massage him from head to toe. Then she gave suggestions of special "toys" for him to use while he is here (turn an old butter tub over with the lid on, cut a slit in the bottom, and go buy a bunch of bright colored artificial fingernails and let him slip them into the slit.) Ok. Then we are supposed to only feed him crunchy or chewy things. I just told her, "I can't provide one to one care for him, unfortunately. I don't mind doing a little extra, but it wouldn't be fair to take a lot of extra time away from the other 11 kids in care. And he will have to eat the healthy food that I prepare for the kids. I don't have enough time or money put aside to cook two different meals." She just looked at me. I think she thought I would just do it all. Wish I could make enough to just give one on one care to a child. But that isn't reality.
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cheerfuldom 09:55 AM 12-08-2011
oh goodness....I dont even have the patience to comment on this parent....besides saying, what idiot suggested letting a 2 year old play with artificial nails??!!??
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CheekyChick 10:05 AM 12-08-2011
She needs a nanny. Oh, and artificial nails for a two year old?
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laundrymom 10:12 AM 12-08-2011
He isn't two yet? Right? Oh wow. Someone asked what special was,..... This is special. And it has NOTHING to do with boys ability!
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countrymom 10:50 AM 12-08-2011
what is really wrong with him I have never heard of this craziness before. I'm sorry but if you start messaging this kid can you imagine another parent walking in and seeing this, omg that would send red flags everywhere.
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Zoe 10:58 AM 12-08-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
what is really wrong with him I have never heard of this craziness before. I'm sorry but if you start messaging this kid can you imagine another parent walking in and seeing this, omg that would send red flags everywhere.
Massages have been known to help children on the Autism scale. Especially pressure points, like pressing down on their shoulders. It gives them something to focus on and calm down when they get overstimulated. I've done that as an Autism teacher. But I do agree that a head to toe massage is asking a bit much.
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MarinaVanessa 11:05 AM 12-08-2011
Wow. I can understand communicating with you that there may be times that he may need some special time but the everyday thing about showing him each station and the massaging seems like it will take a lot of time.

As for the fingernails, it's not safe especially around the other kids. It's a choking hazard . I have seen the same idea used but instead of fingernails they used those fake plastic credit cards that come in the mail when you get offers to sign up. I have one but I used the paint sample cards that you get from a home improvement store. We used it for my nephew that has autism and he loved it. Same idea just different items to slip through the slot. It makes them focus on one thing. You can even laminate them so that they last longer.

As for the food, I would just let DCM provide whatever she wanted. It'll make it hard because the other kids may want what he wants but I would allow this in my DC if she were to bring me whatever she wanted me to feed him and if she brought a physicians's note explaining that it was healthier for him or whatever the reason (I'm assuming it's because of texture?). I'm on the food program and so I would need a note in his file.

I do have to say that I think that it's great that you allowed his first few sessions in your daycare. That's awesome. I think that you did well in explaining your standpoint. Maybe she would prefer to have his sessions in your DC again so that at least during that time he has one on one care and his therapists can work on these things with him, that's assuming that they were the ones that are giving these suggestions.
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Cat Herder 11:08 AM 12-08-2011
Sounds like he will need a special needs arrangement with resources and training.

That is not cheap and difficult to find without federal/state funding.

I just can't imagine being able to GET a diagnosis like that under the age of two. I struggle getting some of my DCK's help even after they are 3.

Is Mom saying these are things she wants personally or are they part of an official documented "Least Restrictive Environment" Plan (LRE) under IDEA?

Does he have a caseworker?
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Zoe 10:04 AM 12-08-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
My screamer is in OT and speech. He has issues. Love him to pieces. He will be 2 soon. He has been in OT for a couple weeks and has been in speech for a month or so. We did the first few visits here at daycare. Now mom is doing them at home. Mom came today with a list of demands. We are to bring him in to the play area, and go from station to station reshowing things each and every time we enter the area (because he doesn't want to be put down, and so when we enter the play area, he knows that means we will be putting him down). Then when we see him getting overstimulated, we are supposed to massage him from head to toe. Then she gave suggestions of special "toys" for him to use while he is here (turn an old butter tub over with the lid on, cut a slit in the bottom, and go buy a bunch of bright colored artificial fingernails and let him slip them into the slit.) Ok. Then we are supposed to only feed him crunchy or chewy things. I just told her, "I can't provide one to one care for him, unfortunately. I don't mind doing a little extra, but it wouldn't be fair to take a lot of extra time away from the other 11 kids in care. And he will have to eat the healthy food that I prepare for the kids. I don't have enough time or money put aside to cook two different meals." She just looked at me. I think she thought I would just do it all. Wish I could make enough to just give one on one care to a child. But that isn't reality.
There are special things you can do for him that wouldn't require THAT much extra care. Some of that sounds like a bit much. If that's what it takes, then maybe he needs a nanny.
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Tags:idea act, iep, lre, screamer, special needs
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