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Old 12-28-2010, 04:41 AM
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daysofelijah daysofelijah is offline
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Default PT Child Will Not Go To The Bathroom

I am having an issue with my almost 4 year old daycare boy. He keeps peeing his pants at my house. He has been potty trained since about 2.5, but has always had issues with actually getting to the potty.

I remind him often throughout the day to go potty, and often ask him if he asks to go. He is required by me to go before breakfast and lunch and nap or else he will pee his pants during eating or napping. Yesterday he again had 2 accidents despite multiple times being reminded.

When he does pee his pants he does not tell me and will just play in his wet clothes until I notice. Then he starts crying, I ask why he didn't go potty. "I don't know" is usually the answer. So I give him his clean clothes and make him clean himself up and then move on, not making any big deal of it.

I am getting frustrated with this though and I think his parents think I'm doing something wrong because of course he "never has accidents at home". Any advice or ideas? What would you do in this situation?
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Old 12-28-2010, 05:26 AM
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He is being lazy he doesnt wanna stop playing to go potty so he would rather just pee his pants he is 4 he can use the potty and go accident free I would put him in time out everytime he pees his pants after he was cleaned up make him clean his self up and where ever he peed at on the floor he will get the point that he needs to potty before he pees his pants.
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Old 12-28-2010, 05:54 AM
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It sounds to me like he is not fully potty trained if it happens every day. I would continue as you are, making him dress himself and help you clean any mess he leaves. Don't make a big deal about the accident itself but he should know you expect him to go potty on the toilet, no where else. I think it's ok to tell him that he is big enough to not have accidents and that he should listen to his body, his toys will still be there when he comes back.
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Old 12-28-2010, 06:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daysofelijah View Post
I am having an issue with my almost 4 year old daycare boy. He keeps peeing his pants at my house. He has been potty trained since about 2.5, but has always had issues with actually getting to the potty.

I remind him often throughout the day to go potty, and often ask him if he asks to go. He is required by me to go before breakfast and lunch and nap or else he will pee his pants during eating or napping. Yesterday he again had 2 accidents despite multiple times being reminded.

When he does pee his pants he does not tell me and will just play in his wet clothes until I notice. Then he starts crying, I ask why he didn't go potty. "I don't know" is usually the answer. So I give him his clean clothes and make him clean himself up and then move on, not making any big deal of it.

I am getting frustrated with this though and I think his parents think I'm doing something wrong because of course he "never has accidents at home". Any advice or ideas? What would you do in this situation?
That's what the parents are telling you, but I highly doubt it is true and he is only having accidents for you. If that is true then it seems as though your house is the issue...that's why the parents are saying that because now it is YOUR problem.......
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Old 12-28-2010, 06:20 AM
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Francine Francine is offline
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At that age I would make him play in my kitchen and dining room area only, where they is no carpet until it stops. But then again, I am mean He is being lazy! When he stops peeing his pants he can rejoin the group and play where there is carpet and furniture.
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Old 12-28-2010, 08:19 AM
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Yes I have a 4 year old DCG that does the same thing, when I ask her why she does not go to the bathroom she says nothing. I have to force her to take the wet clothes off. She has been here for 3 weeks and I think she should be in the routine by now I still have to remind her to go to the bathroom all day long.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:34 AM
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As for myself, I would start looking for his "reward". What is he getting out of it that he would not ordinarily get from you? Kids don't generally do things to make us angry...they just want us to notice them for something. Good or bad does not really matter to them much.

For the parents motivation to help with this issue: I DO NOT deal with bodily fluids on my floors that are preventable and my 2 week accident free policy, in my care, would go right back into effect. I do not care how old the child is, I really don't. They make "Good-nights" in that size, for this purpose, and that is what he would wear until this phase is over. Just like everyone else that pees in his pants at my house. No muss, no fuss, no exceptions.

I promise ALL my parents and clean, safe environment and I plan to always deliver on that. This is something we discuss at the very beginning of our relationship and I have never had anyone to disagree with it since it benefits their child as well.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:36 AM
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Are you sure he is really trained? Have you had him for a long time.

When parents say the child isn't having accidents at home it may be that they are just saying words to you that save them money. Have you asked the kid if he wears pullups at home? It sounds like he may be switching from pullups to undies from his house to your house.

I would either have him wear pull ups or have him just play on a splat mat (you can use a cheap shower curtain from walmart) until he has a couple of successful weeks. If I had the kid and KNEW from his history that he had 1.5 years trained I would do splat mat. If I only knew the history based on parents "words" then he would go into pull ups until he was two weeks accident free.

One thing that really helps is to have them SIT on the potty (with his john thomas pointed downwards) and NOT get up until YOU say he can get up. Once a child doesn't have the decision of how long they sit they will often really relax and completely empty their bladder. If they have the option to get off and go play they can't resist just sqwooozing out a little pee and then getting out of Dodge and back to the action.

Have him sit for a good five minutes each time YOU send him to the potty. Go into the bathroom and say the words "okay now you can get up". A few days of him not having the ability to get off at will will usually settle them down to the point where they RELAX and completely empty the bladder.

Try to stand right outside the bathroom so you can hear if he's doinking around. If he is bouncing around he won't relax.

Oh and make sure he doesn't have any burning or any signs of a UTI.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:02 AM
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i'm sorry but at the age of 4 you are way to old to pee your pants (I understand the occasional)I don't reward children, I think its dumb. But I will punish you for peeing on my floor if you pee on purpose. Why does everything have to be done with a reward, to me its just encouraging the child to always do bad inorder to get a reward.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrymom View Post
i'm sorry but at the age of 4 you are way to old to pee your pants (I understand the occasional)I don't reward children, I think its dumb. But I will punish you for peeing on my floor if you pee on purpose. Why does everything have to be done with a reward, to me its just encouraging the child to always do bad inorder to get a reward.
I agree completely! I don't do rewards. The only "reward" I offer is they get to play with cool toys with their friends when they are behaving.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrymom View Post
i'm sorry but at the age of 4 you are way to old to pee your pants (I understand the occasional)I don't reward children, I think its dumb. But I will punish you for peeing on my floor if you pee on purpose. Why does everything have to be done with a reward, to me its just encouraging the child to always do bad inorder to get a reward.
Since I seem to be the only one who used the word "reward" I think you may have misread my post a bit. Sorry if I was vague.

The point was to be looking for what the child was getting out of this behavior from the provider that he would not otherwise get. This is especially important if he truly does not have accidents at home. After ruling out medical issues as Nannyde stated.

He may simply like the one on one time and his getting her away from the group? He may think if he does it enough he "will not be allowed back to daycare" as so many moms tell their kids. To the parents it is a threat...to the kids it is a reward to get kicked out. Kids think Mom will then stay home with them....YKWIM? It could be many triggers.... I just try to view it from their perspective for a better plan to deal with the situation....
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:42 PM
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daysofelijah daysofelijah is offline
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Thanks for explaining further what you meant about rewards. I know his parents are big on rewarding him for everything, things that should just be common courtesy, like saying "bye" when it's time to leave. He gets a treat in the car if he is polite and says bye.

This little guy is a rule the roost at home kind of kid. So maybe he does get rewards for potty at home. Though I think it might be more that mom just has time to take him every hour so he never has to think about needing to go, mom does the work for him?

Thanks for the ideas. He does not get time outs for accidents, I'm not supposed to punish for toilet accidents per licensing. I do not give much attention for the accidents, he does all the cleanup himself. Maybe having him sit longer on the potty when he does go would help, I didn't think about him not emptying his bladder. That could be it, because he really doesn't drink much here. He doesn't like milk so getting him to drink a half cup at meals is about all I can get him to do.

I have had him since he was 3 months old. He started pt at 2 and has always had accidents on and off here, I have had him go back to pull-ups at my house before (used to be bm accidents a lot, luckily he seems to be past that), but the pee accidents start up again after we stop the pull-ups.

Sigh. I just don't want to be blamed for this when I am doing everything I can to help him be successful and it's still not working.
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