Time Out--How Many Is Too Many?

[daycare]

at what point you realize that timeout does not work for a child do you stop doing it? how many times a day is too many?

I have many alternatives to time out, but today has been a record breaker day of time out for one of my children who has become beyond ill behaved.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I just went through that...for months, and finally terminated. My kids got tired of being hit/objects thrown at them on a daily basis.

[Hunni Bee]

I sympathize...I have a kid whose behavior is APPALLING. He hits, scratches, kicks, bites, throws things at, spits on or pushes down a kid about every 2 minutes....As soon as I diffuse one situation and comfort the poor kid he's maimed, he's moved on to someone else. Time-outs are not an option with him. He refuses to go. If I get him to the chair, he refuses to sit in it. I have to sit with him and hold him in the chair, bucking and screaming, which defeats the whole purpose of time-out. I really really wish my director would go on and term him...

[mac60]

Time outs are literally a joke. They do nothing to improve the behavior of a child. Time outs are for the person in charge.....sometimes just getting the problem child out of the mix is enough to make the day a little better.

[daysofelijah]

I don't think I've ever had to give more than 2-3 in a day. If a child needed more than that I'd have to consider terming or at least working out a behavior plan with the parent.

[SilverSabre25]

Rare are the days when I need to give ANY time outs, but they sometimes come in clusters for one child or another...two in a day is a LOT for an individual child. Actually, 2 in a day is a lot for all the kids combined.

[marniewon]

I hear you. There are times when we go weeks without any time outs, and then there are days when we have a dozen in one day!

I have a new dcb, he's 2. When he's the only one here, he is the sweetest thing, so much fun. When the other 2yo dcb is here, dcb1 misbehaves horribly. He has a younger sibling, but other than that has had no practice playing with others his age. He pushes, grabs toys, steps on feet, throws toys, etc. There's no way I'd term him, he's a sweetie, he just needs to learn how to "be nice" in a group. But we've had several time outs since he started.

[mickey2]

I very rarely, hardly ever give time outs!

I find that taking away things that they like to do is far more effective.

I know what works with each of my little ones and if it is playing with playdoh, painting, using a favorite toy etc I take away the option for them to do it. It might sound mean but it works and you only have to do it once or twice to them for them to know you mean business! You have to follow through on what you say too and not give in if they cry and fuss about it!

Originally Posted by mac60

Time outs are literally a joke. They do nothing to improve the behavior of a child. Time outs are for the person in charge.....sometimes just getting the problem child out of the mix is enough to make the day a little better.

I totally disagree with you. Time outs are not a joke! They do work if your going about it the right way. The child who is naughty in my daycare knows that if they continue to be naughty after telling them not do it after the second time, knows he or she will have to go sit on the time out chair and not be allowed to play with the other kids for awhile, and believe me, kids don't like it when they can't play and HAVE to sit out for awhile. The kids know that time outs mean business and that they better behave or they will have to do some sitting out for awhile. It works. It is not mean or cruel to make a child sit and chill for a little bit. It is not for me to chill, but I believe that kids need to know when they are being naughty and if they continue, there are consequences that they will have to have. Just telling John to not hit so and so for the 4 Th time does no good, he is still doing it and getting him to do something else,redirecting I think is what you call it, does no good either. It DOES not solve the problem of hitting another child,he needs to know now, that it is not right to hit, so if he has to sit out, maybe he will learn not to do it anymore knowing he will have to do a time out. I think it means more to a child to have to not play for awhile then to just tell him to do something else. Like I said, kids hate to not get to play. Sorry this is on another subject. But I don't think time outs are a waste of time or a joke.

[DBug]

If one child has 2 or 3 time-outs in a day, I'll just separate them from the others for the rest of the day. That might mean putting a 3 year old in a high chair, or an 18-month-old in the play yard, but it's pretty much all I can do since our house is pretty tiny. I haven't had any real issues though -- most of my dc kids' misbehaviour is pretty age appropriate.

I do find that the time-outs seem to work, just because the child has a chance to be distracted from whatever it was they were fighting about. Usually when they do get another time-out, it's for something completely different.

[SilverSabre25]

posting on this thread jinxed me!! Having a VERY rough day with one dcb. Here's hoping he takes a looooong nap because that is definitely what he needs!

[mac60]

If a child is getting put in time out several times a day for hitting, running, crawling into the shelf unit, etc, all things they are fully aware of are wrong....that tells me that times outs are not working.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

posting on this thread jinxed me!! Having a VERY rough day with one dcb. Here's hoping he takes a looooong nap because that is definitely what he needs!

sorry!!! I hope your day gets better.


So the story behind my question is this:

I have a dck who is normally very well mannered and behaved. Lately, the story has been different.

the dck will become defiant, look at me and tell me NO, I don’t have to listen to you. Or I will ask them please don't play with your food, the child looked at me and flipped the spoon out of the bowl of applesauce spilling it all over the floor and the child next to them.

This is all new... DCM is PG and the DCK is the eldest of 2, which the other sibling is also here. Also a very well behaved child.

This whole week was like this, I put the child in time out, which is the last straw place I send them. For this child it was no big deal and did not care one bit.

The behavior got so bad that I had to separate the child from the group and have them rest in a different area, as the child would not leave the others alone to let them sleep.

I talked to the mom about it and she was very passive about it and did not seem to care. Mom just stated yeah, we have been having issues at home to, oh well what can you do???????

So after the child being put in time out, reflection time, talked to the child a million times to help them over this hump NOTHING has worked...

So I just wanted to find out how many time outs are too many? What is the next step? Again this is not normal behavior for this child and I am sure it has a lot to do with a new baby on the way??? Parents won't agree with me, but I don't really care if they do or not...

[Lilbutterflie]

I think reward systems work pretty well. But I have found that the reward needs to be changed about every week or so b/c it wears off pretty quickly. Sometimes I keep dollar tree toys in a treasure chest and if they've been good all week they get to pick a treasure. The latest reward I've done is that if you go the whole day without a timeout (the last two weeks have been difficult with a few of them); they get to choose chocolate or strawberry milk with breakfast. I also try to take away priveledges when appropriate.

I have one who gets in timeouts on average 1-2 times per day. I only give one warning, and if they do it again they get a timeout. He is not violent, but he keeps going against the rules after he's already been warned. For instance, yesterday he got a timeout for going down my slide backwards after just being told to go down on his bottom. He got another timeout for getting into a box that I had just told him to stay out of. He's almost 5, he knows better. He's also the one I wrote about a month or two ago who had the climbing issue. Though he has not climbed on anything since I made him be my shadow for half a day. I'm at the point that I realize timeouts are just not working with him, and my rewards aren't working for him anymore either. But what punishments would you all suggest for continually breaking the rules?

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie

I think reward systems work pretty well. But I have found that the reward needs to be changed about every week or so b/c it wears off pretty quickly. Sometimes I keep dollar tree toys in a treasure chest and if they've been good all week they get to pick a treasure. The latest reward I've done is that if you go the whole day without a timeout (the last two weeks have been difficult with a few of them); they get to choose chocolate or strawberry milk with breakfast. I also try to take away priveledges when appropriate.

I have one who gets in timeouts on average 1-2 times per day. I only give one warning, and if they do it again they get a timeout. He is not violent, but he keeps going against the rules after he's already been warned. For instance, yesterday he got a timeout for going down my slide backwards after just being told to go down on his bottom. He got another timeout for getting into a box that I had just told him to stay out of. He's almost 5, he knows better. He's also the one I wrote about a month or two ago who had the climbing issue. Though he has not climbed on anything since I made him be my shadow for half a day. I'm at the point that I realize timeouts are just not working with him, and my rewards aren't working for him anymore either. But what punishments would you all suggest for continually breaking the rules?

lol my exact thought.......But what punishments would you all suggest for continually breaking the rules?


I am not going to term this child, as stated before this is new...

I already do reward charts, we have subjects and they get happy face stamps through out the day on their chart when they were successful, nothing when they are not.

most of the kids freak out of the thought they wont get their positive points, so we call them..

this child just does not seem to care about squat right now.