Bad Diaper Rash..... I Need Ideas... It's My Fault

[youretooloud]

I'm kinda new here, I've answered a few posts, but I thought I'd just jump in with a question.

I happily use cloth diapers here at my daycare. I Own tons of cloth diapers, they are all accessible, and right above the diaper changer.

But, today daycare dad dropped off and said "Ugh.. I forgot his diapers, do you want me to go home and get them?" I said , "no problem, I have plenty here"

His parents told me he was allergic to the disposable diapers and that's why they started using cloth. But, I didn't believe them, because I figured they just said that so I'd agree to cloth (I told them I had no problem with cloth though)

Anyway... so, today, I was rushing, and just stuck someone else's Huggies on him. And, then I didn't give it any more thought. After lunch he was standing with his legs apart and pulling on his pants saying "ouch". I said "OK.. Hold on"... but, I waited another five or ten minutes while I cleaned up the other kids. By the time I got to him, he was BRIGHT red.. almost raw skin, everywhere that the disposable was wet, he was burned.

It's not going to go away by the end of the day... and I feel horrible. I don't even know what to say to the parents.

What would you say? Besides "I. Am. So. SORRY"

[jessrlee]

I would call. I would also fill out an accident report because basically you ignored an allergy. I really hope you luck out and have understanding parents.

Next time: YOU don't get to decide if an allergy is legit. Only a dr can. Treat everything as if it WILL harm the child, or require a dr note for all allergies.

[Symphony]

I agree, I would call them right now. I would also file an incident report with your state. I know I would be required to in mine, whether it was my fault or not. I would be very VERY upset as a parent if my child's allergies were ignored, especially when dad offered to bring you diapers and you declined.

[SunflowerMama]

Yikes that's a hard one. I would definitely call or text mom/dad just to let them know and just tell them how sorry you are. See if they were told what to put on it, if anything, when he reacted negatively to the sposies in the past.

Other than that I might just let him be bare bum as much as you can the rest of the day.

Poor little guy and don't beat yourself up...these things can happen. I would just be honest with the parents, file a report and let them know before pick-up.

[Cat Herder]

You can run a tub of warm bath water (about navel depth) and put about a cup of baking soda in the water (stir with your hand to dissolve well and test for temp). Let him sit for a few minutes...

That will take the burn out of it immediately for him and soothe some of the redness.

Pat dry and coat him with a good skin protectant like A&D ointment.

Let the parents know what happened.

[jen]

It was an accident. Of course you feel terrible, but don't beat yourself up too badly. First of all, I would call Mom or Dad and ask what should be done to rectify the situation...would Desitin help or make it worse? Baking soda bath?

Once I washed a kids hands with fragrance soap, I knew he can't have fragrance, but I just forgot and grabbed my dd soap to clean him up as the regular dispensor was empty. It left a rash. Making a mistake is life, how you handle it is what is important.

[Sunny Day]

Again, I would call the parent before I tried to do ANYTHING to rectify it. I would tell them the truth. One thing I would suggest is if you can, let him go bare bum. You don't know what's going to make it worse, especially because it is an allergy. See what they say to do and then follow it. I get the whole being crazy busy, etc. but the bottom line is you still ignored an allergy, so in my opinion, you're going to have to take the heat for it....I know you feel bad and didn't do it on purpose, but if I was the parent of that child I would be really upset and would likely find alternate care. It was a mistake (although a conscious one as you stated you didn't believe them) and now you have a lesson learned the hard way. Good luck, I hope they are more forgiving with their child than I would be.

[cillybean83]

my son has the same allergy, except his is to wipes, and only certain kinds of disposables...what happens to him is the following in order

1. bright fire engine red skin, hot to touch, extremely sensitive and raw looking first couple hours

2. raised bumps, very painful 1-2 days

3. scaliness, super itchy, baby will scratch till he bleeds if you don't hold his hands down while changing diaper 7-14 days

during stage 1 the best you can do is let him bare bum as much as possible, every few hours do a baking soda bath, then let him bare bum some more...the redness will go down

during stage 2 let him bare bum as much as possible, but no baths, keep him very very dry

during stage 3 smother him with desitin, not a & d, not vaseline, not powder...maximum strength desitin, ALL THE TIME...when Jack's got bad because my parents put him in diapers he was allergic to...we had to change him every hour, round the clock, went through 4 tubes of desitin...for 2 weeks.

i don't know if this will work for your little guy, but this is what works for my son, if it's the same allergic reaction these parents are in for a loooong healing process....just do your best to be totally accomodating

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

I'm kinda new here, I've answered a few posts, but I thought I'd just jump in with a question.

I happily use cloth diapers here at my daycare. I Own tons of cloth diapers, they are all accessible, and right above the diaper changer.

But, today daycare dad dropped off and said "Ugh.. I forgot his diapers, do you want me to go home and get them?" I said , "no problem, I have plenty here"

His parents told me he was allergic to the disposable diapers and that's why they started using cloth. But, I didn't believe them, because I figured they just said that so I'd agree to cloth (I told them I had no problem with cloth though)
Anyway... so, today, I was rushing, and just stuck someone else's Huggies on him. And, then I didn't give it any more thought. After lunch he was standing with his legs apart and pulling on his pants saying "ouch". I said "OK.. Hold on"... but, I waited another five or ten minutes while I cleaned up the other kids. By the time I got to him, he was BRIGHT red.. almost raw skin, everywhere that the disposable was wet, he was burned.

It's not going to go away by the end of the day... and I feel horrible. I don't even know what to say to the parents.

What would you say? Besides "I. Am. So. SORRY"

Oh no!!! That is NOT good! As a parent I would be IRATE. I would understand if you had not been informed, but you were, you AGREED to comply and then INTENTIONALLY did what you were told not to do and what you agreed not to do and basically thought the parent LIED. WOW

I would call the parents right now, they may want to have him seen by a doctor, as there are medications designed for severe rash that are only available with a prescription.

This is reportable, and I would not be at all surprised if that is what the parents choose to do. Good luck with all that

[youretooloud]

I sent Mom an email and she said (she's so sweet)

"Oh, that's OK.. I actually thought he might get a rash anyway, because he ate a whole can of pineapple and half a can of Mandarin oranges all by himself yesterday"

I just got him up, and his rash is much better, just spotty and very red in some spots, but not as angry looking as it was.

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by jen

It was an accident. Of course you feel terrible, but don't beat yourself up too badly. First of all, I would call Mom or Dad and ask what should be done to rectify the situation...would Desitin help or make it worse? Baking soda bath?

Once I washed a kids hands with fragrance soap, I knew he can't have fragrance, but I just forgot and grabbed my dd soap to clean him up as the regular dispensor was empty. It left a rash. Making a mistake is life, how you handle it is what is important.

Jen....you are almost always the voice of reason here - but this time I think you are wrong. It was NOT and accident. She was told about it. She agreed to cloth diapers. She refused the offer from DCD to go get diapers and stated she would use hers. She then did the EXACT opposite of what she said and agreed to and put him in a disposable and ASSUMED the parent shad lied. NOT COOL.

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

I sent Mom an email and she said (she's so sweet)

"Oh, that's OK.. I actually thought he might get a rash anyway, because he ate a whole can of pineapple and half a can of Mandarin oranges all by himself yesterday"

I just got him up, and his rash is much better, just spotty and very red in some spots, but not as angry looking as it was.

very lucky for you......hopefully it will be much better by end of day. don't be surprised if Mom changes her mind about it though.

[Childminder]

It's not like you did it on purpose to harm the child. Kids get butt rash all the time, some worse than others. You did right by the child and called the parents, apologized and won't do it again I'm sure.

Wait till the child, or another, shows up on a Monday with blisters on the bum and bleeding. It happens, sometimes from the diapers, sometime from the food he/she consumed, sometimes from a virus or allergy, sometimes from parental neglect. This too shall pass.

I have a dcg 18mo that is allergic to her own feces and we have to change her immediately after she poops or her butt blisters. Also we go thru TONS of vaseline and coat any where the feces might touch her to help prevent the blisters. Started at birth and still continues. Can not wait to potty train this one.

Crystal, imo, it's not what you say but how you say it that upsets people.

[jen]

Originally Posted by Crystal

Jen....you are almost always the voice of reason here - but this time I think you are wrong. It was NOT and accident. She was told about it. She agreed to cloth diapers. She refused the offer from DCD to go get diapers and stated she would use hers. She then did the EXACT opposite of what she said and agreed to and put him in a disposable and ASSUMED the parent shad lied. NOT COOL.

I could be wrong..this is how I took her post...

She interviewed the parents who mentioned that the child was allergic to disposables; which she didn't take seriously (yes, that was a mistake).

Fast forward until today....she grabbed a disposable, not because she didn't believe the parent in the first place, but because she didn't think about his allergy...which I admit, she probably would have remembered had she taken it seriously to begin with.

I don't think this was a case where she consciously thought: "Oh, he's not allergic, I'm just going to use it anyway." I thought this was a case where, because she didn't really believe them to begin with, the whole thing was forgotten.

Original poster?

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by Childminder

Crystal, imo, it's not what you say but how you say it that upsets people.

FTR, i haven't said anything in a VERY long time that has upset anyone.

But, I do not care if it upsets someone. When a provider ADMITTEDLY is doing something against a parents specific instructions, ESPECIALLY when it pertains to health related issues, they NEED to be told that what they are doing is wrong.

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by jen

I could be wrong..this is how I took her post...

She interviewed the parents who mentioned that the child was allergic to disposables; which she didn't take seriously (yes, that was a mistake).

Fast forward until today....she grabbed a disposable, not because she didn't believe the parent in the first place, but because she didn't think about his allergy...which I admit, she probably would have remembered had she taken it seriously to begin with.

I don't think this was a case where she consciously thought: "Oh, he's not allergic, I'm just going to use it anyway." I thought this was a case where, because she didn't really believe them to begin with, the whole thing was forgotten.

Original poster?

I see what you are saying. However she clearly stated that she did not beleive the parent and used a disposable anyway. I could be completely wrong, but from what I read in the OP she knowingly went against the parents specific instructions regarding the health related complications of disposable diapers.

I don't know, this kind of stuff just rubs me the wrong way. I am far from perfect, but I try to always give my parents the benefit of the doubt when they inform me about issues pertaining to the medical and emotional needs of their child. It really bothers me when other providers are intentional in going against the wishes of their parents. They are, after all, the child's PARENTS! They usually know what is best for their child.

Jen, I do appreciate your rational post

[Crystal]

To the OP, just curious, WHY did you put the disposable on if the cloth diapers were right there? It doesn't seem it would be any more inconvenient to me.

[Cat Herder]

I read the post to say "It's my fault" and "I am sorry".

Nowhere did it ask "please judge me and tell me what a horrible person I am".

[youretooloud]

Originally Posted by jen

I don't think this was a case where she consciously thought: "Oh, he's not allergic, I'm just going to use it anyway." I thought this was a case where, because she didn't really believe them to begin with, the whole thing was forgotten.

Original poster?

I wasn't being malicious. The allergy conversation was last April. When I was changing his diaper today, a daycare dad was walking in with his son and niece who were having a catfight. So, I just grabbed the easiest diaper at the moment which happened to be another kid's huggies. I knew they weren't T's diapers.. I knew it was Cs diaper, but I was just rushing. I didn't actually give any thought to the allergy at the time... I didn't actually give that any thought until I looked in his diaper.

As far as parents SAYING my kid is allergic, if you've ever read on any parenting board, you'd see how many parents will tell the provider their child is allergic to diapers, to get them to agree to the cloth. (again, that's not an issue here, since I, myself wouldn't use disposables on my own child) Or parents on parenting boards who choose not to vaccinate their kids, and will lie about the reason, so they can get into a school. (again, not an issue with me, since I don't require vaccines either)

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

I wasn't being malicious. The allergy conversation was last April. When I was changing his diaper today, a daycare dad was walking in with his son and niece who were having a catfight. So, I just grabbed the easiest diaper at the moment which happened to be another kid's huggies. I knew they weren't T's diapers.. I knew it was Cs diaper, but I was just rushing. I didn't actually give any thought to the allergy at the time... I didn't actually give that any thought until I looked in his diaper.

As far as parents SAYING my kid is allergic, if you've ever read on any parenting board, you'd see how many parents will tell the provider their child is allergic to diapers, to get them to agree to the cloth. (again, that's not an issue here, since I, myself wouldn't use disposables on my own child) Or parents on parenting boards who choose not to vaccinate their kids, and will lie about the reason, so they can get into a school. (again, not an issue with me, since I don't require vaccines either)

Okay, maybe I read to much into your original post, so for that I do apologize. However, I feel that it is VERY important to always err on the side of caution when a parent claims allergies. Even if you don't beleive them....but then you could request a note from the Dr., just to have on hand, ya know.

Now, I do not read parenting forums, so I wouldn't know about what some parents claim to get a provider to do what they want, but even if I did I would still err on the side of caution.

Still, I will apologize for getting so upset, I just get a little peeved about this stuff.

[Crystal]

Originally Posted by Catherder

I read the post to say "It's my fault" and "I am sorry".

Nowhere did it ask "please judge me and tell me what a horrible person I am".

Oh, I hear ya. But like I tell my kiddos, Sorry doesn't make the pain go away.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Crystal

Oh, I hear ya. But like I tell my kiddos, Sorry doesn't make the pain go away.

We all know that... Nobody questions where your heart was..mine sunk a bit at first, too.

I just applaud her being able to admit a mistake publicly and ask assistance.

You and I both know many providers would lie like crazy to cover their own tushies. Sad but true.

Now thousands can learn from her mistake and also how to deal with it

Maybe someone will even post new information on this...in all my years I have never had a child "allergic" to disposable diapers....maybe this is becoming more common and something we all need to know more about??

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by Catherder

Maybe someone will even post new information on this...in all my years I have never had a child "allergic" to disposable diapers....maybe this is becoming more common and something we all need to know more about??

Some kids who have persistant diaper rash are actually allergic to some of the chemicals in the diapers...either that or they have an undiagnosed food allergy/sensitivity. Pampers with DryMax have been a HUGE culprit of major diaper rashes...lots of people seem to be having terrible trouble with the DryMax stuff.

Some kids react only to one brand or another. Some kids can only tolerate one brand. Some kids need chlorine free dipes like 7th Generation. Some kids only do okay with cloth. Some kids still have persistant rashes no matter what and no one can figure out why. (poster who mentioned kid being "allergic" to her own feces, the problem is much more likely to be a food allergy or sensitivity).

it's not the sort of allergy that a doctor is likely to look at and say "well, we did allergy testing and he came up allergic to disposable diapers"--it's more the type that through trial and error the parents linked the diapers to the bad rashes and can say, "that's an allergy". Like allergies to food dyes, or artificial colors, or what I did to get myself "diagnosed" with gluten intolerance. You take away the culprit, the symptoms improve, that's diagnosis enough

In reality, while it is probably going to get more and more common who have kids who have problems with disposable diapers, owing to the sheer number and variety and saturation of chemicals present in our daily lives, we are probably NOT going to see a vast increase in people figuring out that the cause of their kid's rashes is the diapers, not unless we see a vast increase in the awareness of issues like environmental allergies of this nature.

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

I sent Mom an email and she said (she's so sweet)

"Oh, that's OK.. I actually thought he might get a rash anyway, because he ate a whole can of pineapple and half a can of Mandarin oranges all by himself yesterday"

I just got him up, and his rash is much better, just spotty and very red in some spots, but not as angry looking as it was.

Just wanted to say my son used to react this way to citrus fruits, too. He would get a painful, fire-engine red rash that would just start to go away until he pooped again and then we'd be right back to square one. This cycle would continue until the food finally left this system. While it could be the disposable diaper he reacted to, it could easily have been the fruit, as well. Try not to beat yourself up over the mistake. You're human and it could have happened to anyone. Sounds like the mom understands. I hope he's feeling better soon.

[DCMomOf3]

Originally Posted by Catherder

Maybe someone will even post new information on this...in all my years I have never had a child "allergic" to disposable diapers....maybe this is becoming more common and something we all need to know more about??

My ILs say my Dh was allergic to disposables... I am not sure I fully believe it, just like they told me he was allergic to milk. (he has milk with his cereal, has flavored milk and eats ice cream)

This in no way is a comment on the OP just referring to your question.

Originally Posted by e.j.

Just wanted to say my son used to react this way to citrus fruits, too. He would get a painful, fire-engine red rash that would just start to go away until he pooped again and then we'd be right back to square one. This cycle would continue until the food finally left this system. While it could be the disposable diaper he reacted to, it could easily have been the fruit, as well. Try not to beat yourself up over the mistake. You're human and it could have happened to anyone. Sounds like the mom understands. I hope he's feeling better soon.

Sounds to me like mom is not phased that the rash happened due to the fruit he ate yesterday. I assume you told her that he was in a disposible diaper then you noticed the rash. Since she mentioned the fruit and thought he would get a rash from it anyway and doesn't mention concern over the disposible diaper being on him leads me to believe that the disposible diaper isn't the real problem to the rash. If that is the case for the rash this was a lesson learned for sure. Also, when the parents stated that he is alergic to disposible diapers did they also put this on the form regarding alergies and then state what happens? i believe that also has to be on his paper work as well.

[nannyde]

We are definitely going to see this more as time goes on because diapers change so dramatically from year to year in the quest to size them down and cheapen them down and make more money.

The diaper of today doesn't even resemble the diaper of ten years ago. Remember Drypers that cam in small, medium, and large?

This was a mistake and the real lesson in this is to ALWAYS tell the parents the mistake and tell them asap. NEVER try to hide your mistakes from parents. The act of hiding it most often compounds the problem.

Many kids have suffered horrible outcomes because providers stall calling 911, seeking medical care, or calling parents because they hope something magical happens in between the mistake and when the child is picked up. With something as serious as allergies you HAVE to tell immediately and get the parent involved in the immediate solution.

I have had the "kids allergic to paper diapers" to convince me to do cloth.

[morgan24]

There is a brand of diaper rash creamer only sold in MI and it's the best stuff to have on hand you can get it at www.bensonsbottompaint.com It is non toxic and can be used on other rashes. I have had it clear up a bleeding butt rash in a couple of days. I use it on the cracks I get on my thumbs and it heals them overnight.

[JenNJ]

Accidents happen and I am glad that the mom understood. I agree that waiting and trying to solve it on your own is a serious lapse in judgment. Allergies and injuries should be reported to the parents and proper authorities ASAP to help the child and cover your butt as well.

My daughter is allergic to the bad diapers they make today. She only doesn't react to the expensive non-chlorine, eco-friendly diapers. So we do cloth only with her bc it is way cheaper and easier than finding the environmentally (and human safe) disposables. I loath disposables. They are so toxic and awful for everyone's health, not just the kids!

[jen]

Originally Posted by JenNJ

Accidents happen and I am glad that the mom understood. I agree that waiting and trying to solve it on your own is a serious lapse in judgment. Allergies and injuries should be reported to the parents and proper authorities ASAP to help the child and cover your butt as well.

My daughter is allergic to the bad diapers they make today. She only doesn't react to the expensive non-chlorine, eco-friendly diapers. So we do cloth only with her bc it is way cheaper and easier than finding the environmentally (and human safe) disposables. I loath disposables. They are so toxic and awful for everyone's health, not just the kids!

Hmmm...I may have missed a post, but I don't think she said that she waited.

[jessrlee]

OP said "It's not going to go away by the end of the day" I also took that to mean that she wouldn't tell the parents if it WOULD be gone by pickup. I agree I don't think she waited, but I do think she needs to remember that you need to call parents ASAP if something out of the ordinary is happening with their kids.

[JenNJ]

Well, she posted here before informing the parents, so That qualifies as waiting.

[Cat Herder]

I agree 100% that a provider should Never hide a mistake.

The thing is that delaying treatment with a chemical burn is bad, too..

If this happened to me it would go like this...

1. Opened diaper, saw angry red rash...realized the diaper caused it. Check for airway involvement, look for rashes on face, neck and chest, etc...

2. Immediately take child to restroom to rinse off residue and stop the burn (baking soda water restores acid base balance) Gently pat dry.

3. Protect the wound from further injury (whatever brand the parents provide of skin protectant, all of mine choose A&D or my fav. Aloe Vesta)

4. Calm and soothe child.

5. Call Mom.....

The whole process would be about 10 minutes, max.

It is just natural instinct for me and in no way would it ever cross my mind that by doing this some would feel I was trying to hide it....

I just know that as a parent the first thing I would ask is how is my child, now...

[cillybean83]

OP made a mistake, we all make them, I feel bad for little guys raw bum but it will be ok...we don't need to be so harsh, she just wanted advice

[JenNJ]

I'm not saying she is a bad provider. I am simply trying to help everyone learn from her mistakes. The whole point of having a forum like this is to learn. She didn't handle the situation properly - that's a fact. Sure we can give her advice but I think its more important to show why it was wrong and tell what the correct way to handle it would be in case anyone here ever finds themselves in a similar situation.

[mac60]

And this my friends, is exactly why I quit posting on here much. Providers come here to vent, get support, ask for advice, and they get much more than they asked for, and it is usually in a very negative way, accusing way. There is always a way to say something in a nice way, even if you don't agree.

[jen]

Originally Posted by mac60

And this my friends, is exactly why I quit posting on here much. Providers come here to vent, get support, ask for advice, and they get much more than they asked for, and it is usually in a very negative way, accusing way. There is always a way to say something in a nice way, even if you don't agree.

Mac, you are absolutely right. However, I do think the trick of this is to look at who is posting the comments and what their motivations are. There are lots of posters on here who genuinely want to offer constructive advice, while still being supportive of the provider. Catherder, Nan, and lost of others as well. These are posters who are confident in their abilities as a provider and a person, recognize that putting the OP on the defensive will never help anyone, and they genuinely want to provide both support and quality advice.

Some post for different reasons, perhaps they aren't confident in their abilities, perhaps they have low self-esteem and taking on an authoritative role gives them a boost, others may be frustrated because they aren't being seen as an expert in some area and unconsciously post in a demeaning way to instill a sense of superiority over other providers. Those are just a few things that come to mind, I'm sure there are plenty more motivations I haven't explored.

The key, for me, is to look at the apprent MOTIVATION of the poster. Are they posting in a genuine way, meant to support others or are they posting to satisfy a personal agenda? Once I have determined the general motivation, I simply dismiss everyone who is posting for self serving reasons. Recognizing what is THEIR issue as opposed to yours, makes this a way more pleasant place to be.

I miss your contributions! Post away!

[SandeeAR]

Originally Posted by mac60

And this my friends, is exactly why I quit posting on here much. Providers come here to vent, get support, ask for advice, and they get much more than they asked for, and it is usually in a very negative way, accusing way. There is always a way to say something in a nice way, even if you don't agree.

I totally agree Mac60. I'm on here daily. I get on off and on all day long, depending on what my kiddos are doing. I have mainly babies, so lots of naptime WOOHOO! However, I mainly lurk now for info. I rarely post and am very careful which threads to post to. After I only got about 2 replies in each of the last three threads I posted, I even stopped asking questions. I just wanted you to know you weren't the only one that felt that way.

[JenNJ]

I have no idea if any of this is directed at me or not. I'm not attacking at all just offering my advice for future reference.

[SandeeAR]

Originally Posted by JenNJ

I have no idea if any of this is directed at me or not. I'm not attacking at all just offering my advice for future reference.

My post was not directed at you you necessarily Jen, just the situation in many of the threads recently. It was nice to hear Mac60's post, and see someone else felt the way I did.

I've only tried to be helpful, and at times feel attacked for being nice.