Lonely Sometimes

[blueclouds29]

Do any of you get this feeling sometimes? I have 4 kids totally all 2 and under. Today I just feel so lonely. No one to talk to. I just moved here 4 years ago from NJ so i don't have family here. My Husband works so i call and talk to him. Its not the help/aid that i need its just someone to talk to. My mom and i are really close but when i called her this am to talk, she was still in bed and not wanting to talk.. I don't know... just wanted to see if it was me.. LOL
MAYBE is just this cold weather in the spring where we are STILL stuck inside all day in these 4 walls in this small house!!!! Who know... its not PMS i just had that last week!!!!

[dEHmom]

sorry you are feeling like this... and you are not alone.

I wish I had someone to come for coffee but then now I've got to entertain while the kids are around. So doesn't quite work.

I find often, even when hubby is home in the evening, I am more lonely than I am during the day with tthe kids.

All I want is alone time, but I want some friendship as well. LOL!


I had a little breakdown last night. I was trying to do dishes, and had to stop because hubs told me there was a sitch in the bathroom. DS tried to get to potty but didn't get there fast enough, and had a double accident. EW.

By the time I get dinner made, eaten, cleaned up, have a shower, it's bedtime, and I'm really tired, been working extra hard to keep house clean and I feel it's still not good enough. I'm having some issues right now. But hubs told me not to be sad, and I'm sure today he will help me out more.

[boysx5]

Thank God I have a neighbor who does daycare and we chat each day or take our kids outside with each other so we can have an adult to talk with. I know the feeling all too well about moving to a new place and not having many friends did that five years ago.

[Meyou]

The end of the winter gets to me and I always feel lonely. The rest of the year isn't nearly so bad because we're outside at least 1/2 the day and I'm busy. I talk my bf's ear off when he gets home at night though!! Poor guy.

[missnikki]

I totally get the 'haven't talked to an adult all day' sads. My poor hubs comes home from a hard day's long hours to me going "So Davey hits Robbie with an eraser and Robbie told Melissa that Shannon wrote all over her watercolor with his marker so I had to take the marker and give it to Davey to write Robbie a sorry note".....

(any resemblance to persons/ events is purely circumstantial)

I need to find a group of ladies to live a vicarious 'Sex and the City' side-life with.

[cheerfuldom]

find some hobbies to keep you interested during the day. Right now I am taking some online college courses and the reading and stuff keep my mind occupied for small parts of the day. It does depend on how many kids you have but definitely find something to look forward to to keep you from going crazy!

[SandeeAR]

I understand, that is why I like this forum so much. It is my ADULT link during the day Due to the loss of his assistant and trying 3 times to replace her, my DH has worked 7 days a week since July 4th, about 12 hours a day. I understand the lonely. I see my DD often and attend church, but I'm still lonely at times. I fully understand. You aren't alone.

[Meyou]

Originally Posted by missnikki

I totally get the 'haven't talked to an adult all day' sads. My poor hubs comes home from a hard day's long hours to me going "So Davey hits Robbie with an eraser and Robbie told Melissa that Shannon wrote all over her watercolor with his marker so I had to take the marker and give it to Davey to write Robbie a sorry note".....

(any resemblance to persons/ events is purely circumstantial)

.

I do this too. At this point he comes in and says, "Ok tell me about all the timeouts today and all the rest of the dirt" He treats the kids like characters in a soap opera. These are the days of their little lives....

[My Lil' Monkeys]

Originally Posted by boysx5

Thank God I have a neighbor who does daycare and we chat each day or take our kids outside with each other so we can have an adult to talk with. I know the feeling all too well about moving to a new place and not having many friends did that five years ago.

I have a awesome neighbor who does daycare, too!! I don't know sometimes what I would do without her. I moved to 4 yrs ago and didn't have anyone. But, once I discovered my neighbor (who lives behind me and our fences open to each others yards) has been so much help. I know the feeling of being alone during the day with no one to talk, too. But, you have us I know that doesn't make up for conversation face to face... but I'm here to chit chat if you want

[dEHmom]

my dh isn't interested in hearing anything. He says it's me "bit****" or complaining. I've said it before, I don't have a great support team, and he really just doesn't care. So I don't really have any one to vent to. It often becomes a competition of who had the worst day.

[laundrymom]

Originally Posted by dEHmom

my dh isn't interested in hearing anything. He says it's me "bit****" or complaining. I've said it before, I don't have a great support team, and he really just doesn't care. So I don't really have any one to vent to. It often becomes a competition of who had the worst day.

Wow,... I'm so sorry. I feel for you. If my dh talked to me like that ..... Well,... To be honest if he treated me that way he would be gone.

[Lilbutterflie]

Yup, I get lonely too! I moved here out of state almost two years ago; so all of my friends and family are back in CA where I'm from. I've made some friends here, but none really available to chat during the day. My DH is not the greatest listener about daycare stuff either; so this forum is my outlet.

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by laundrymom

Wow,... I'm so sorry. I feel for you. If my dh talked to me like that ..... Well,... To be honest if he treated me that way he would be gone.

I dont' mean to sound like he's a jerk. He can be sometimes, but usually it's just because he's been up since 330 am, and worked till 330 gets home at 4 pm, and he's just beat. If I complain about my day, he complains about his, and neither of us feel better. It's not much of a vent, as it is a "i'm too tired to do dishes, clean up, cook" etc.

[Lilbutterflie]

Originally Posted by dEHmom

I dont' mean to sound like he's a jerk. He can be sometimes, but usually it's just because he's been up since 330 am, and worked till 330 gets home at 4 pm, and he's just beat. If I complain about my day, he complains about his, and neither of us feel better. It's not much of a vent, as it is a "i'm too tired to do dishes, clean up, cook" etc.

I can understand. My DH is already a little bitter about me starting the daycare two years ago. I used to work full time and I made fairly decent money plus benefits, insurance and 401K. I think deep down he doesn't really see the value in my staying home with our children. He would rather me go back to work. That and the fact that he sees faults in every child who is not his own.

So when I go to him to vent, his response is "If you don't like what you are doing, go back to work" Or "If you are having issues with them, post ads for new children and give them notice" He is NO help.

It's also a guy thing to not really lend a sympathetic ear, just to tell you how to fix it. An episode of Modern Family totally depicted this. When Phil went to the spa because Claire was too busy to use her certificate on the last before it expired. Anyone see this?

Anyway, he is not a jerk, he is actually a very kind and generous man; not to mention a wonderful father. I just know that I can't vent to him about daycare!

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie

I can understand. My DH is already a little bitter about me starting the daycare two years ago. I used to work full time and I made fairly decent money plus benefits, insurance and 401K. I think deep down he doesn't really see the value in my staying home with our children. He would rather me go back to work. That and the fact that he sees faults in every child who is not his own.

So when I go to him to vent, his response is "If you don't like what you are doing, go back to work" Or "If you are having issues with them, post ads for new children and give them notice" He is NO help.

It's also a guy thing to not really lend a sympathetic ear, just to tell you how to fix it. An episode of Modern Family totally depicted this. When Phil went to the spa because Claire was too busy to use her certificate on the last before it expired. Anyone see this?

Anyway, he is not a jerk, he is actually a very kind and generous man; not to mention a wonderful father. I just know that I can't vent to him about daycare!

no i've never seen that show but it sounds funny.

and yep, it took my husband a few months to warm up to the kids, and then they left, then a new kid came, and it took a few months for them to warm up to each other, she was totally scared of him. now they are like best buddies when he gets home, and she's done next week and the new guy is stilll a little bit scared of him, but doesn't cry anymore.

Hubs doesn't have the best father figure in the world, he gets home demands his food, etc. kind of old school ish. so hubs is trying HARD not to act like that, but sometimes it comes out. I told him I will not put up with it. If he turns out like his dad i'm outs. I'm not the "perfect" wife hahahahaha. I won't be your slave.

[laundrymom]

Originally Posted by dEHmom

I dont' mean to sound like he's a jerk. He can be sometimes, but usually it's just because he's been up since 330 am, and worked till 330 gets home at 4 pm, and he's just beat. If I complain about my day, he complains about his, and neither of us feel better. It's not much of a vent, as it is a "i'm too tired to do dishes, clean up, cook" etc.

Shew,... I'm so glad!!! I thought maybe this was how he treated you. Believe me,.... I didnt used to have a backbone. And a six yr marriage to a man who made me walk behind him, sit at his feet, clean his home, raise kids while he partied with women, abused me both mentally and physically,..... I kicked him to the curb after I caught him with a day mom. I had had enough. Sorry for being so harsh before. I just cringe at how I used to be. So substandard. So low. No one deserves that. (((())))

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by laundrymom

Shew,... I'm so glad!!! I thought maybe this was how he treated you. Believe me,.... I didnt used to have a backbone. And a six yr marriage to a man who made me walk behind him, sit at his feet, clean his home, raise kids while he partied with women, abused me both mentally and physically,..... I kicked him to the curb after I caught him with a day mom. I had had enough. Sorry for being so harsh before. I just cringe at how I used to be. So substandard. So low. No one deserves that. (((())))

nope that's fine! sometimes it takes an outsider to point out the obvious.


He knows that I will not be treated like his step mom. I watched my dad (not physically abuse) mentally abuse my mom, always yelling, etc. I know his dad did the same. I see stuff all the time that makes me sick. So I told him off the hop, if I'm not happy i'm out!

[PitterPatter]

Geez I'm jealous everyone seems to have a BF or Hubby. I divorced mine 6 years ago and I don't date. (as if I had time to anyway lol) It's just me all day with 3 toddlers (soon to be 4) and my 9 yr old in the evenings. My Mom stops by for dinner usually M-F so I do get some adult time but even with that I still feel lonely.
What's worse is the overwhelmed feeling when I can't keep up with the house after daycare is closed. I want to spend time with my son but I have so much to do. Laundry, dishes, garbage out, sweep, mop, vaccume etc u girls know the drill. By the time I am done it's shower and bedtime. There are just not enough hours in the day. When my son is older I may have him help more but for now it's all on me.

[juliebug]

oh yes i do feel this way sometimes. but to fight it off i call my step-mom everyday while i am cooking lunch and talk to her. My husband watches out kids every thursday night so i can go out an just relax. I also joined meet-up and meet other moms and do mom's night out when them.

[dEHmom]

sorry to hear that tyger, but you are lucky. I always say if dh and i split, i will never have another man again lol.

your son is 9? he is most definitely old enough to help out! lol.

my 6 yo helps fold and put away laundry, 6 and 5 yo do dishes, all 3 sweep and mop, etc.

they are helpful, but often not the greatest help as I have to redo.

[laundrymom]

Flylady says.

Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family!

Enlist those little mess makers!! Lol

[daycare]

I get lonely and dumb. Lol. I feel like I can only hold conversations through out my day that consist of one or two syllables.. Lol.
I have no family here and it's kinda hard to make friends in a new place when you work from home. I know you can relate.

I hope you start feeling better soon. We will all try to keep you company. Lol
Hang in there it will be hot before you know it!!!

[Abigail]

Take a field trip to Walmart! It's acceptable to just walk up to strangers and have a conversation there! JUST KIDDING!

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by Abigail

Take a field trip to Walmart! It's acceptable to just walk up to strangers and have a conversation there! JUST KIDDING!

hahahahaha.....loooooooooooooveeee it!!!!!!!!!!


it truly is acceptable. thats what I do.

I bumped into a gimped up daddy, his little girl, she was trying to pick flowers/trees for her bedroom. he clearly knew nothing about them, and she was talking about watering it everyday tons and tons so it will grow big and big. (she must've been about 4 yo).

I explained to the little girl which ones like lots of water, which ones will grow nut fruit in about 4 yrs from now, etc etc. he was a hot daddy he was very thankful for me! because he almost bought expensive plants and she would've drowned them

[missnikki]

Originally Posted by dEHmom

. he was a hot daddy

Is there anything better? (besides firemen..)

[daycare]

Lol my husband works for the fire dept and when they have parties it's like Christmas for my eyes... Lol

[countrymom]

I know the feeling too. Sometimes I like being by myself and other times, I would love to go out for a coffee to get away. I feel like my house is never clean and that cr@p is growing out of the closets. I think it also doesn't help that its still winter and we can't go outside (I'm still in florida on vacation but apparently it snowed yesteday) I love coming on here and reading what everyone is doing, its a great forum.

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by daycare

Lol my husband works for the fire dept and when they have parties it's like Christmas for my eyes... Lol

hahahaha......can I come?

[dEHmom]

Originally Posted by missnikki

Is there anything better? (besides firemen..)

I have a pretty sexy police friend. He's quite a bit older than me. We had a little something something back when I was a lot younger. I still remember him in his uniform, and all the muscles, and how easily he would just lift me like I was a feather yum

[MommyMuffin]

I didnt realize how lonley this career choice was until I did it. So now I have changed my focus and goals. Some people can handle it with, chatting on the phone, internet, watching fav shows, joining a child care association. I've tried them all but I really miss talking to people in person and intellectual stimulation so like I said my goals have changed.

Perhaps you could reassess what you want from a job/career and see if it is the best fit. What has helped me is just to simply keep my mind busy and occupied...whether it is planning the lesson for the next day or organizing my spice rack.

Good luck. It is very hard. I think SAHM feel that way alot too. Warmer weather is coming and hopefully that will lift spirits and bring people outside to chit chat. Also, lean on your hubby, I always destress on mine.

[Sunny Day]

Its funny, you wouldn't think so, but doing home daycare is the most isolating job I've ever done. I can't handle being stuck in my house/on my property all day because I a) have too many little ones to safely take anywhere and b) have a little boy who cannot handle any sort of change in routine. Makes me go batty! That's one of the main reasons why I'm done with daycare in a few weeks when I have my baby, I get too lonely and depressed!

I understand lonely. I have recently had my license revoked due to an assistant's mess-up. I may never get it back. We live in a fairly small town and everyone in town knows everyone else. My former assistant knows lots of people, and they have waged war on me. So I sit in my house all day long, no one to talk to, nothing to do but wait to see what the state is going to do to me. I fear I am developing a fairly serious case of agoraphobia.
Thank you for letting me put in my one and a half cents here.

Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt this way! I'm a member of a provider organization but most of the members are certified and can come and go as they please since they have assistants. I can't even go to a Dr. appt!! I never anticipated when I decided to do this that I would feel this lonely and depressed. I went from being a sahm who had other sahm friends to go to the gym with, meet for coffee, and I volunteered at my kids school and now.........nothing. I don't even have the same friends because they're still "living the dream" I once lived. I just can't afford NOT to work and I need to be here when my kids get home from school. I am so glad I found this forum. There is LIGHT at the end of this dark, isolated tunnel!

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by missnikki

Is there anything better? (besides firemen..)

Firemens and Alaska State Trooper Mens.... oh yeah

I watch the Alaska State Trooper show JUST to see the guys. They are all so handsome and .......... oh you know.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by SuzanneL70

Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt this way! I'm a member of a provider organization but most of the members are certified and can come and go as they please since they have assistants. I can't even go to a Dr. appt!! I never anticipated when I decided to do this that I would feel this lonely and depressed. I went from being a sahm who had other sahm friends to go to the gym with, meet for coffee, and I volunteered at my kids school and now.........nothing. I don't even have the same friends because they're still "living the dream" I once lived. I just can't afford NOT to work and I need to be here when my kids get home from school. I am so glad I found this forum. There is LIGHT at the end of this dark, isolated tunnel!

Hang around Suzanne... this is a great place of support.

I have a helper and I still can't leave for appointments. It's the hardest part of this job to me.

[PitterPatter]

Originally Posted by dEHmom

sorry to hear that tyger, but you are lucky. I always say if dh and i split, i will never have another man again lol.

your son is 9? he is most definitely old enough to help out! lol.

my 6 yo helps fold and put away laundry, 6 and 5 yo do dishes, all 3 sweep and mop, etc.

they are helpful, but often not the greatest help as I have to redo.

I don't REALLY want another man but the double income would be nice instead of my measly earnings. Not to mention someone to help with chores like garbage and shopping day. I do enjoy my freedom I admitt that

DS and I will be discussing ways to EARN his allowance soon.