Was I Wrong

[daycare]

I have a rule in my house that all children must stay seated druing meal times until finished. I think this is quite normal. This means no walking around with the food, up and down out of seat and so on

I have a DCB that just turned 2 and has been able to sit a the big kid table for the last month. Does pretty good, but the last few days, he is flipping over his chiar, standing up, walking around with food and the list goes on

I told both parents that this has been an issue and that DCB will need to sit back in the highchair.

So this morning at drop as dcd and dcb are walking in the door i pull out the highchair. its a really nice chair and is not a typical baby seat. Infact my 3.5 year old still likes to sit in it from time to time..

DCD walks right by me and put DCB at the table with the rest of the kids. I tell DCD not sure if you remember, but he needs to be in the highchair until he can get used to staying seated again.

DCD says No way, thats not going to happen. He is not a baby and we don't have him in a Highchair at home..So I go on to tell DCD " I cant have him walking around with food, it's not allowed here"

Of course dcd says well he doesnt do that at home....

Ok well he does it here, along with other things and i am not ok with it. He needs to sit in the highchair.

Dcd says your treating him like a baby and i don't approve of it...hands me dck and leaves pissed off..

As soon as dad leaves I put the DCB in the highchair. DCB could not care less about where he sits.

am I wrong for having dcb sit in the high chair? Am I making it seem like he is a baby?

Did i go about this the wrong way?

[SilverSabre25]

I'm going to say that you are right in the rule, right in the way to handle this problem, but wrong in how you went about it.

The dcps don't need to know where he's sitting at your house. This is something that needs to be handled strictly at your house and the parents don't need to know about it or have anything to do with it. Whether or not he's allowed to walk around with food at home has NO bearing on what goes on at your house.

Don't make an issue of it; just do what you do the way you do it. The parents DON'T need to know about it.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

I'm going to say that you are right in the rule, right in the way to handle this problem, but wrong in how you went about it.

The dcps don't need to know where he's sitting at your house. This is something that needs to be handled strictly at your house and the parents don't need to know about it or have anything to do with it. Whether or not he's allowed to walk around with food at home has NO bearing on what goes on at your house.

Don't make an issue of it; just do what you do the way you do it. The parents DON'T need to know about it.

sorry I was trying to make it a quick post ...
I should have mentioned that the yesterday when parents came to pick up we were eating PM snack and DCB was in teh highchair... they asked why he was sitting there and I told them why...

I guess i should not have said anything this morning and just waited until the dad left to move the DCB????

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by daycare

sorry I was trying to make it a quick post ...
I should have mentioned that the yesterday when parents came to pick up we were eating PM snack and DCB was in teh highchair... they asked why he was sitting there and I told them why...

I guess i should not have said anything this morning and just waited until the dad left to move the DCB????

ah gotcha, the clarification helps.

I don't know if you *should* have waited, but definitely wait in the future. Or just take dcb from dcd and say bye, then place dcb where you want him.

Sounds like a power trip thing on dcd's part though. Who cares whether their kid is in a high chair, a booster, or nothing at all? It's just a seat at the table and a means to get food in the tummy...

[safechner]

No, you are doing right thing. I have a 2 year old dcg that will not sit still on the table and I put her in the highchair which she don't like it. She have to learn to sit still until she eats all or most. I am not allowed dck walk around with foods.

To me, I don't believe his father that he don't do that at home. Yeah, right!

[Meeko]

I would conference with the parents and gently explain that what works at home doesn't work at day care.

I ask the parents to multiply whatever they expect from me by 16 kids and see how workable it seems then.....they (usually) see my point.

The parents need to understand that maybe they think one 2 year old wandering around with food at your house is not a big deal. But if you let their son do it....you have to let the other kids do it. Now you have food mashed all over your house......stick to your rule. If he can't sit still, he must be in a high chair.

For some reason parents act as if their kid is the only one in care.....and that whatever goes at home, goes at your house too.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by safechner

No, you are doing right thing. I have a 2 year old dcg that will not sit still on the table and I put her in the highchair which she don't like it. She have to learn to sit still until she eats all or most. I am not allowed dck walk around with foods.

To me, I don't believe his father that he don't do that at home. Yeah, right!

lol yeah i am on the same page as you..... Yeah right this kid wont sit down for more than 30 seconds....lol I guess what happens at my house only happens at my house.....NEVER at home...yeah uh huh sure

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by daycare

I have a rule in my house that all children must stay seated druing meal times until finished. I think this is quite normal. This means no walking around with the food, up and down out of seat and so on

I have a DCB that just turned 2 and has been able to sit a the big kid table for the last month. Does pretty good, but the last few days, he is flipping over his chiar, standing up, walking around with food and the list goes on

I told both parents that this has been an issue and that DCB will need to sit back in the highchair.

So this morning at drop as dcd and dcb are walking in the door i pull out the highchair. its a really nice chair and is not a typical baby seat. Infact my 3.5 year old still likes to sit in it from time to time..

DCD walks right by me and put DCB at the table with the rest of the kids. I tell DCD not sure if you remember, but he needs to be in the highchair until he can get used to staying seated again.

DCD says No way, thats not going to happen. He is not a baby and we don't have him in a Highchair at home..So I go on to tell DCD " I cant have him walking around with food, it's not allowed here"

Of course dcd says well he doesnt do that at home.... Ok well he does it here, along with other things and i am not ok with it. He needs to sit in the highchair.

Dcd says your treating him like a baby and i don't approve of it...hands me dck and leaves pissed off..

As soon as dad leaves I put the DCB in the highchair. DCB could not care less about where he sits.

am I wrong for having dcb sit in the high chair? Am I making it seem like he is a baby?

Did i go about this the wrong way?

Then feed him at home.

It really doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do at home....ONLY what he does at your house and since he does not stay seated at your house...he is NOT ready to sit at the big kid table.

You do what works for you and they can do what works for them. None of my parents know where anyone sits, sleeps, plays or stays while their kid is here unless I tell them and I generally don't because it doesn't matter. It has no effect on what happens at home....and visa versa.

[Meyou]

I cannot believe how RUDE that man was to you!?!?!?!?! "It's not going to happen???" I'm fuming and it wasn't even me!!

You are totally right and it's none of his beeswax where his ds sits for meals. Your daycare works on your schedule and with your rules. Period. Why is he allowed to walk in and put him at the table?

[morgan24]

I don't think it really matters if it was wrong or right. It's your house, so you are right. He sits to eat. That dcd would get his walking papers at pick up. They have every right to disagree with me, but the minute it's rude or disrespectful bye bye.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Meyou

I cannot believe how RUDE that man was to you!?!?!?!?! "It's not going to happen???" I'm fuming and it wasn't even me!!

You are totally right and it's none of his beeswax where his ds sits for meals. Your daycare works on your schedule and with your rules. Period. Why is he allowed to walk in and put him at the table?

ohhhhh man this DCD is a doozey... he takes longer than anyone under the sun to drop off even though I have tried to shoo him out the door many times.
He has to wash hands make him sit at the table, get up from the table, walk him to the door, give hugs say good bye, then more hugs more kisses, then a talk, then then then OMG get out already............lol

This dcd is so pushy that I gave up on this dcd sometime ago. we don't get along at all. So I just try not to cause drama... If it were not for the wife who is a sweetheart I would have kicked them out years ago,

[grandmom]

When a child moves to the table here, even at 2, if they get down, their plate disappears. It only happens a couple times before they figure out they need to stay seated. "Oh, so sorry, you got down, I thought you were finished. It will be snack time soon."

Granted, with the very young, I'll scoot them back to the table a couple times initially, but then nope, not again. Plate gone.

[Lucy]

Not wrong at all. However, in my opinion it really doesn't concern the parents. I wouldn't even have told them. No, it's not keeping secrets from them, but I feel like WHERE you sit the kids to eat really has nothing to do with the parents. It's great that you tried him in a regular chair, but he obviously wasn't ready for it, so he goes back in a high chair for another month or so till you can try again. I see the dilemma with the dad placing him in a chair and all, but I would still not have said anything (just to avoid a possible "discussion") and would have moved him as soon as dad left.

ETA: Sorry, didn't read anything past your original posting. Now I see why you told dad. But I'm trying to picture myself in that situation, (asking about high chair at the PM snack) and I think I would have down-played it and just shrugged and said, "oh, he almost tipped the chair and fell, so I thought he'd be safer in the high chair today" and then just move the conversation elsewhere. Play it off like it isn't a big thing. I dunno... that's just me I guess. And yes, I STILL would have not said anything the next morning and just moved him after dad left. It would make dad feel like he "won", but whatever. *shrug*

[cheerfuldom]

well no reason to doubt what you are doing. obviously the DCD is just a big pain and most likely will get ticked off every couple of weeks just to have some sort of power trip. you're not doing anything wrong.

I would start a rule that all parents stay in the entry way until you take the child from them or give them their child. He never should have even walked over to the table.

Some parents just think they are entitled and you know what their kids grow up thinking that as well. Drives me nuts.

Ps I am registered but having problems signing in. (momatheart)

Originally Posted by grandmom

When a child moves to the table here, even at 2, if they get down, their plate disappears. It only happens a couple times before they figure out they need to stay seated. "Oh, so sorry, you got down, I thought you were finished. It will be snack time soon."

Granted, with the very young, I'll scoot them back to the table a couple times initially, but then nope, not again. Plate gone.

OMG, I love this!

[snbauser]

Originally Posted by grandmom

When a child moves to the table here, even at 2, if they get down, their plate disappears. It only happens a couple times before they figure out they need to stay seated. "Oh, so sorry, you got down, I thought you were finished. It will be snack time soon."

Granted, with the very young, I'll scoot them back to the table a couple times initially, but then nope, not again. Plate gone.

We do the same. I don't take babies so we don't have high chairs but we have the same rule. You leave the table, you are done.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by snbauser

We do the same. I don't take babies so we don't have high chairs but we have the same rule. You leave the table, you are done.

I have actually never had a child leave the table except my own son. He wants to sit in the bar stools becuase that is where he sees big brother and sis eat. I some times allow for it, but not often.

I might have to start the "take the plate program too".....lol

[Hunni Bee]

I usually dont have problems with anyone leaving the table while eating. Anyway, our licensing standards expressly FORBID it. Tell DCD that.

But I have a couple who like to play with their food - mix everything together, take a sip of milk and then spit it back in the cup. I have no tolerance for playing with food or wasting on purpose. If you don't like or don't want it, fine, but throw it away. We play with toys and friends, not food.

If they play with it, away it goes.

I have to be careful, though, I had a little boy just be gross at the table with his food. I warned him, he kept doing it, so I took his plate to another small table to eat by himself. He was still eye and earshot of his friends, but just a different table. He threw a fit and refused to sit there. When lunch was over, he hadn't finished, but I threw his plate away. He told my director that I didn't feed him , and she kind of believed him. I could tell in her tone. Then she made me fix him a new plate, in front of him, because "she didnt want him to tell his parents that we're not feeding him". Totally trashed my authority.

Im seriously thinking in a few years when I get a little older, about opening my own. I'm done with the center thing.

[Kaddidle Care]

I hope you can avoid DCD as much as possible on this but if they come early and catch him in the high chair again I would play the safety card on that one.

A child wandering around with food is more apt to choke, not to mention when they are all sitting together, you can keep an eye on them all.

Sorry Dad, welcome to the world of taking care of multiple children. It's not YOUR world.

[Jewels]

Thats what I love the table booster seats for, they have straps, so they can sit at the big table once they turn 15 months, and eventually I stop strapping them, but the minute they want to stand, they start getting strapped in the booster again, I also do the, you leave the table your plate dissapears.

[Meeko]

Get down from the table = plate disappears. THEIR choice.

The food program only says we must offer the children a meal. They don't have to eat it.

My kids stay seated because they know I am serious about the plate being trashed if they leave.

Some have tried to see if I am serious......but only once!!!

[jojosmommy]

Originally Posted by Meeko60

Get down from the table = plate disappears. THEIR choice.

The food program only says we must offer the children a meal. They don't have to eat it.

My kids stay seated because they know I am serious about the plate being trashed if they leave.

Some have tried to see if I am serious......but only once!!!

AGREED! I have one 3 yr old dck that is still buckled in a booster seat b/c he can not sit without being buckled. I don't ask his parents if this is ok. Either you sit and eat or you don't eat but either way you sit polietly with your friends until meal time is over.

I have thrown away a plate or two in my day but once they test the rule and see the consequences they don't try it again. Well, until a new batch of kids is around to try it.

I have the same rule...no food away from the table...the kids chant it to anyone who tries to leave the table with food or before they are done..."You're down.. you're done!"

I'd use the highchair too if warranted...not the dcd's business...it's your house, your rules...kids are very adaptable...they know that at YOUR house they sit in that chair..in THEIR house they sit wherever the parents say...

Originally Posted by Hunni Bee

I usually dont have problems with anyone leaving the table while eating. Anyway, our licensing standards expressly FORBID it. Tell DCD that.

But I have a couple who like to play with their food - mix everything together, take a sip of milk and then spit it back in the cup. I have no tolerance for playing with food or wasting on purpose. If you don't like or don't want it, fine, but throw it away. We play with toys and friends, not food.

If they play with it, away it goes.

I have to be careful, though, I had a little boy just be gross at the table with his food. I warned him, he kept doing it, so I took his plate to another small table to eat by himself. He was still eye and earshot of his friends, but just a different table. He threw a fit and refused to sit there. When lunch was over, he hadn't finished, but I threw his plate away. He told my director that I didn't feed him , and she kind of believed him. I could tell in her tone. Then she made me fix him a new plate, in front of him, because "she didnt want him to tell his parents that we're not feeding him". Totally trashed my authority.

Im seriously thinking in a few years when I get a little older, about opening my own. I'm done with the center thing.

Directors are too afraid of a kid being unhappy. If they whine, give them what they want. The louder they whine, the faster you should move to do their bidding. If they want to play the entire meal time and then come to the table after everyone else is already finished, you better allow it because you can't with hold food. And the poor child might get hungry in the 1 1/2 hr they have to wait before the next meal or snack.... I say let it happen once and you won't have to worry about with holding food ever again (because they'll eat when they're supossed to!). And if a child demands you to do something and they don't get what they wanted, they just might learn some manners and respect in the process and ask nicely the next time. But that'd just be too mean, and the poor little tykes might even throw a fit! Or "gasp!" tell their parents.
The directors really don't realize how much they trash a teacher's authority when they interfere with their common sense discipline or even question it. And especially in front of the child! Just like in marriages, even if the spouse doesn't agree with the other one's punishment for little Billy, that should be discussed out of ear shot of the children.

[sharlan]

Your house, your rules. You are the one who has to clean up the mess if you allow food away from the table. (I speak from experience because I started allowing it.)

It sounds like you've had issues with this father before. I would simply tell him that the child has two choices, #1 sit in the high chair and eat his food, or #2 sit at the table like a big boy and eat his food. There is no walking around the house with food for any child. All children have the same rules.

I have found that children are either perfect angels at home, never do anything wrong, yet are horrendous at my house. OR, they're horrible monsters at home with Mom and Dad, but are perfect at my house.

[MommyMuffin]

I dont think its a matter of if you were wrong or not. I completely agree with the rule. If the children in my dc take food away from the table the food goes bye bye. We try again in a few minutes.

I think it has to do with a dcp telling you how to run your business. I would not stand for it. I hate to jump the gun but if a dcp talked to me like that and walked into my kitchen to place their child in a seat I would not stand for it.