Eating and Spoiled Kid Issue WWYD?

[Springdaze]

So kid refuses to eat his sandwich from home. wants MY food. throws his food on the floor and jumps on it, now its smashed and he has nothing to eat. He did it because he thinks I will give in to him. I dont want to give him anything, but cant let him starve. Now his sister who IS eating her food wants some of my food too! I dont and wont do the food program, so thats not a solution!

Thanks!

[Blackcat31]

How old are these children and what are your policies for meals and snacks? Are they provided 100% by the parent?

[Zoe]

If the kids bring their own food and that's the way you want it done, then stick to your guns! The kid threw his food on the floor, well.....then I guess he doesn't eat! If you give in and give him some of your food, then he'll know that he can do this to you every day. I know it's hard letting the child go hungry, but he needs to learn that he can't act that way!

I always say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit". My group can say it in unison, they know my rule so well. It's kinda cute actually.

[cheerfuldom]

he won't starve in one day

[Springdaze]

the parents supply lunch, I supply snacks but most pack plenty of their own. I dont mind giving extra of my food, if they eat whats brought from home first. BTW, I gave him 4 saltines and thats it! oh, and he is 4 and a half next month.

[cheerfuldom]

oh he's old enough to learn. no crackers or anything....eat what mama brought or go hungry till the next snack (at which point I would pull out the same item for him that his mom brought)

[Springdaze]

I wonder what "the book" says though??? Of course the licensing people have never worked with a child most times anyway!

[Cat Herder]

If it is the first time, I'd give Mom a quick call. Give her two choices. A. Bring something by quick B. Allow him to eat what you provide.

I know I'd feed him, I am actually doing it for my ENTIRE group right now (in the vent section if you are interested) because it will effect everyones day.

My rule is meal times are to be stress free.

[laundrymom]

Throwing food means you aren't hungry,... Wash your hands and go lay down.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by laundrymom

Throwing food means you aren't hungry,... Wash your hands and go lay down.

As a parent, I agree...

As a provider, I know it would ruin the rest of the day unless I had a LARGE snack planned...

[meganlavonnesmommy]

If you give him something else, he will learn that if he throws a fit, he gets what he wants.

If you DONT give him something else, he will learn that if he throws a fit, he gets nothing, and next time he will eat what he brought in the first place.

It sounds harsh, but if that is what he brought, that is what he can eat, or not eat, the choice is his.

But then he goes hungry until the next snack/meal. He wont starve in a few hours.

[youretooloud]

well, the child who threw his food would go sit in the other room.

The one who IS eating, i'd give her some of our lunch if I had enough, and if she ate her own lunch. I never want a child to be hungry... but, I won't give in to anybody who is wasting/throwing food. I will not have a power struggle over food with anybody. "Eat or don't eat.. I don't care".

[SandeeAR]

Maybe I'm just a meany, but a stomped on lunch eats just like a fresh lunch. Especially if it is a sandwich. I would have sat him down and served him what he stomped on. After a couple of times of that for lunch, he would stop doing it.

BTW, if you can't tell....I don't do spoiled

[grandmom]

I totally agree with SandeeAR. I'd give him ONE chance to eat the smashed sandwich. Then I'd bag it up and give it to mom when she picked up. No substitutes if he didn't eat. NONE. And, I'd serve snack that I knew was a challenge for him (read: something he doesn't like).

Never give in to a terrorist (or terrorizing child in this case).

[SandeeAR]

Originally Posted by grandmom

I totally agree with SandeeAR. I'd give him ONE chance to eat the smashed sandwich. Then I'd bag it up and give it to mom when she picked up. No substitutes if he didn't eat. NONE. And, I'd serve snack that I knew was a challenge for him (read: something he doesn't like).

Never give in to a terrorist (or terrorizing child in this case).

AMEN!!! Sounds like we came from the same "old school"

[Springdaze]

Again today at breakfast! YAY! Gives me 2 snacks and I tell him to pick one, he wont and screams and throws them both. then one breaks open and spills all over the floor, he doesnt care because now he wants the other thing! I told him to eat his cereal and he dumps THAT on the floor!!!!!!!! Its a good thing this job pays so well!!!!

This is the same kid, 4.5 and refused to sit on the potty. One day he decided he wanted to, and has never had an accident! While thats great, he should have "decided" to do it 2 years ago!
Excuse me for a second....Your Done, go play!

[countrymom]

what a great game he's playing NOT!! sounds like "if he throws a temper tantrum then he will get his way" do not give him any pleasure in his game, acually you should have thrown the food too and then seen what he would have done.

[Springdaze]

sometimes his mom and grandma, with whom they all live with, picks them up. One day I am not kidding you the grandma said "Daughter, just give it to him, I cant listen to it right now!" nice!!!!!!!!

[Cat Herder]

If he has thrown all his provided food (assuming that this a program that does not provide food?) then I would call for him to be picked up.

If I don't have a way to provide proper care then he can't stay.

Make it Mom's problem.

He goes to school in a few months!!! SHE has got to get this under control.

I, personally, would not allow food from home.

It set's you up for failure, IMHO.

I agree with the previous posters. "You get what you get and you don't make a fit" is said daily here and every kids knows it. He will not starve in a matter of hours. It should not turn into a big deal if he chooses not to eat. He is choosing not to eat by not being able to function with the group. I would not even allow him at the table. As soon as he is not using his manners he would be removed and placed on the other side of the kitchen wall and he would wait there (with books) until the rest of the group is done. I would not mention it again. Don't give him the control. At my house, you make a bad choice and there are consequences and the rest of the group moves on and functions with or without you. I have seen many kids go all day without eating (regularly) and not a one has starved- ever.

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by chellenj

sometimes his mom and grandma, with whom they all live with, picks them up. One day I am not kidding you the grandma said "Daughter, just give it to him, I cant listen to it right now!" nice!!!!!!!!

This same scenario is probably repeated multiple times every day and he's learned that grandma will overrule mom and mom will cave to grandma. You get to deal with the end result.

At mealtime, I view my job to be serving the kids a good, nutritious meal. Their job is to eat it or not. You did your job; he made a choice not to eat the meal you served. He'd go hungry until the next meal in my house. Also, if he had a choice between 2 snacks and threw one.....he wouldn't get the chance to throw the second. He'd be done as soon as that first snack went airborne.