Do You Like To Work Or Prefer Being A SAHM

[Country Kids]

I actually read an article one time that explained about what would happen if women didn't work. It was an eye opener for sure! It explained how unemployment would drop because all those positions for men would open up, salaries would go up (can't remember how that was explained), the value of the dollar would increase, and there would be a balance with the economy. It was very interesting. Now I know not everyone woman can stay home (single ones for sure) but what saddens me are the ones that chose to work over staying home. I have had moms tell me that there is no way they could stay home all day with their kids. Its so very sad. I honestly think there are more woman though that want to be sahm's than there are that want to work.

So my question is if you were able would you be a strictly sahm or would you still work?

[jojosmommy]

I would still work or volunteer in a regular weekly position. Less hours/demands but still active in work/volunteer. Maybe 1 day a week or 2 half days or something around my kids schedule.

Here's why:

When my kids are 20 I want to know that I had a life/was an important INDIVIDUAL. I love being a mom but I think you need an identity too. I do not think it is healthy to allow your kids to consume your entire being and lose yourself.

I want my kids to see that everyone needs to manage time and responsibilites and being financially able to stay home is no excuse for not contributing to your community.

Being active keeps your mind/body healthy. My brain would crave activity/structure.

I would spend too much money at home if I didn't work.

[Country Kids]

Originally Posted by jojosmommy

I would still work or volunteer in a regular weekly position. Less hours/demands but still active in work/volunteer. Maybe 1 day a week or 2 half days or something around my kids schedule.

Here's why:

When my kids are 20 I want to know that I had a life/was an important INDIVIDUAL. I love being a mom but I think you need an identity too. I do not think it is healthy to allow your kids to consume your entire being and lose yourself.

I want my kids to see that everyone needs to manage time and responsibilites and being financially able to stay home is no excuse for not contributing to your community.

Being active keeps your mind/body healthy. My brain would crave activity/structure.

I would spend too much money at home if I didn't work.

Totally agree! I would probably try and find something that worked with my childrens schedule but very part-time.

[JaydensMommy]

I would LOVE to be a SAHM!! I was and took it for granted and now I miss it soooo much. Yes, I would love it! I want to have another baby and SAH. Now I just have to convince my husband!!

[AnneCordelia]

I don't *have* to do daycare. I do it because it allows me to contribute financially, which I feel is important, and still be here for my own children. It allows us fun vacations and toys.

Truth be told, I was a SAHM for years before I started doing this and I honestly feel I'm a better mom to my own kids since starting my daycare. I make a point to be more involved with them and to make the time we have alone together really count.

[lilrugrats]

If I had a choice, I would own my own daycare and run it. My kids are too old for me to be a sahm, in my opinion. If they were babies, sure! I would be so bored all day with them in school!

[daycare]

I had a daycare dad once tell me we are trying to find daycare for our three boys because my wife can't stand being at home with them. We are looking for open to close hours 5 days a week. They go to her parents on weekends. And then he laughed. I ended that interview really quick, watched him drive away in his range rover and just felt sad....

[kendallina]

I feel like I have it almost perfect (for me ). I really do love working, but I also loved being a sahm. Right now I teach a preschool class out of my home 3-hours/day 5 days/week. It's the perfect compromise! I get the fulfillment of working, can stay home with my kiddo and most days, we're done by noon and have the rest of the day to ourselves.

[Oneluckymom]

I have been a strictly stay at home for 6 years and am just now starting my home daycare. Last year I was a volunteer in my sons kindergarten class and am already feeling guilty that I have'nt signed on this year and probably wont sign on next year when my daughter starts kindergarten. But I wouldn't change a thing, I love being here 24/7 for my children. Honestly, most parents that work full time need help at home because you cannot dedicate 100% to both work and home. I love being a stay at home mom!!

[nannyde]

LOVE being a SAHM

I can't imagine life outside of home after eighteen years (this month!!!) of being home.

I love working from home. I wish I could be home and not work... but if I have to work... I like doing it from home.

I have a new consulting business that is taking off so I'm gradually getting more work from home. I hope to transition to that in the next five years so I can scale down and have a smaller home.

[awestbrook713]

I love what I do now don't get me wrong, but if I had the choice of daycare or giving my kids 100% of my time I would choose them any day. To bad we don't live in an economy that allows families to live off of one income. Believe me I have tride cutting the bills down to the bare minimum and it still wouldn't work.

[Meyou]

I could easily be a SAHM and love every minute of it. But since I need to work I would definately stay with DC and work from home. I love being around the kids all day long, watching them grow, teaching them new things, picking my youngest dd up from school, spending lots of time talking with all my kids and cooking dinner for my family every night. Working from home allows me to do that. I won't change it unless I have to for some reason.

Although daycare is alot of work....I used to work 10 hour days outside the home, travelled and was always stressed and tired plus didn't see my kids. This job with my babies is wonderful compared to that plus I don't have to dress to impress every morning anymore. If I put contacts in the kids tell me I'm beee-u-tif-fuuuul!.

[blueclouds29]

I have to say I would be working if it wasn't for the extreme cost of daycare for my daughter. It's hard to get time with her while taking care of the other kids. It's getting a little better since they are getting older but still, i do miss working and seeing other adults and having an adult conversation. I guess i'm probably the only one that feels like this on here

[blessedmess8]

Originally Posted by Country Kids

I actually read an article one time that explained about what would happen if women didn't work. It was an eye opener for sure! It explained how unemployment would drop because all those positions for men would open up, salaries would go up (can't remember how that was explained), the value of the dollar would increase, and there would be a balance with the economy. It was very interesting. Now I know not everyone woman can stay home (single ones for sure) but what saddens me are the ones that chose to work over staying home. I have had moms tell me that there is no way they could stay home all day with their kids. Its so very sad. I honestly think there are more woman though that want to be sahm's than there are that want to work.

So my question is if you were able would you be a strictly sahm or would you still work?

My grandmother used to always say the decline of our society started when the majority of women started entering the workforce. I'm a Christian, and I believe in the biblical depiction of what a wife and mom should be. (Proverbs 31) I don't believe women are "lesser" or should have less rights than men. I believe the home is our responsibility and is every bit as important as a man's work outside the home. (If not more.) If you read that Proverb, the woman does contribute some to her family, financially, but it is not her main role in the family. I guess sometimes I wonder why people who "couldn't stand to be at home with their kids all day" would choose to have kids if at least one parent didn't want to spend that much time with them. Just a different way of thinking, I guess. MOST women I know would love to be SAHMs at least while their kids are young, but can't.

[mom2many]

Originally Posted by blessedmess8

My grandmother used to always say the decline of our society started when the majority of women started entering the workforce. I'm a Christian, and I believe in the biblical depiction of what a wife and mom should be. (Proverbs 31) I don't believe women are "lesser" or should have less rights than men. I believe the home is our responsibility and is every bit as important as a man's work outside the home. (If not more.) If you read that Proverb, the woman does contribute some to her family, financially, but it is not her main role in the family. I guess sometimes I wonder why people who "couldn't stand to be at home with their kids all day" would choose to have kids if at least one parent didn't want to spend that much time with them. Just a different way of thinking, I guess. MOST women I know would love to be SAHMs at least while their kids are young, but can't.

So true indeed!

[Holladee]

I prefer being a sahm. Right now I have a very small in home daycare (only two kids) and it is working fine. In two years, I will be able to just stay home with my own kids and I am looking forward to it.

That being said, why do we need to judge other women who find fulfillment and satisfaction with having a job outside of the home? Even if they don't need the income if their job is something that is important to them, then they should be able to work without judgement from other mothers.

Being a stay at home parent or a stay at home parent who does in home daycare can be an extremely isolating job. Not everyone is cut out for it.

Where is the judgement for all of the dads that go to work each day?

[learn-n-grow]

Originally Posted by blueclouds29

I have to say I would be working if it wasn't for the extreme cost of daycare for my daughter. It's hard to get time with her while taking care of the other kids. It's getting a little better since they are getting older but still, i do miss working and seeing other adults and having an adult conversation. I guess i'm probably the only one that feels like this on here

No you're not, I feel the same way! I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[blueclouds29]

Originally Posted by learn-n-grow

No you're not, I feel the same way! I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Makes me feel better! Thanks!

[tbutler]

Originally Posted by AnneCordelia

I don't *have* to do daycare. I do it because it allows me to contribute financially, which I feel is important, and still be here for my own children. It allows us fun vacations and toys.
Fortunately I don't have to do it either. I hope to use the extra for vacations and toys too! (I just started in August)

Truth be told, I was a SAHM for years before I started doing this and I honestly feel I'm a better mom to my own kids since starting my daycare. I make a point to be more involved with them and to make the time we have alone together really count.

[COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"]I too feel that I'm a better mom after losing my job in June. I now get to spend more time with my kids. I'm not getting off work and rushing to do dinner, baths, and send them to bed. Now dinner and homework are done by 4:30 before the last kid gets picked up. [/color]

[KathiMora]

I think whether a woman decides to work or stay at home after having a baby is not just a factor of her circumstances, but also her individual choice. It would be wrong to sit in judgment of women who go back to work just like it would be unfair to put down the ones who choose to stay at home.

Personally, I would choose a middle path – a work at home career that lets me stay with my children, but also allows me to earn money as well as stay connected with the professional world. Thanks to professions like medical transcription, virtual assistance, medical coding and billing, etc. that can be broken into with vocational training programs, working from home is a much more realistic option than we choose to believe!

[Solandia]

I did the sahm only thing for a year, and really...I had too much free time. Even though I was homeschooling, it wasnt enough. I HAVE to do something more...

Having a home daycare was very much a choice, almost a calling really..not due to lack of options. And I have homeschooled all along. Dh would love it if I dropped the daycare, and just homeschooled...but really, it doesn't work out that easily....he would need to give me more kids of our own or something. LOL.

As it is, We planned on me working through the little kid years and once my oldest got to be a teen, I would go to being a sahm completely. Our philosophy is the opposite of most....once they are older, we feel a sah parent is essential....little kids are fun, and lots of physical hands on needs. For the teen years, I want to be home and available to my kids, emotionally & physically. I don't want them to find their primary emotional support from their BFF's mom or *shudder* from boyfriends at 14yo. There is more to it that just that, I think transitioning teens from kids to adults require more available time than traditionally given.

Anyway, my oldest is 12.5yo, and we have been slowing downgrading the daycare (which is harder than you would think!). My 12yo gets very upset to think of the kids we have not being there...my 9yo would be very happy to say good-bye to them all. My 1 year olds have no opinion. Hopefully I can transition to sahm more successfully than last time.

[Cat Herder]

I need to work. IMHO, My DH did not take me to raise and my parents did not raise me to be dependent.

I need to be home with my kids. I don't want to give up what little time they are actually children.

I found middle ground. I have no regrets.

[hoopinglady]

and like Nanny, this is the closest I can get to staying home while still supporting my family.

I'd stay home in heartbeat if I could.

I love my job very much but it isn't ideal.

Since we're talking a perfect world, I suppose if I had abundant resources and staff I'd continue directing and working part time in a lovely daycare program. Maybe.

[cheerfuldom]

I'd love to be a SAHM. I have to do daycare but at least I get to take care of my babies. I am finishing my degree though so I can get a job after they are school age (at least part time). I like being busy and having a purpose. Taking care of kids and home isn't entirely fulfilling for me.

[Country Kids]

Wow! I'm surprised how many actually would be a stay at home mom. This just reconfirms to me that women actually want to be home with their children and not have the distraction of work. I know that if I didn't work I would be able to do so much more with my family and actually make them #1 in my life. I also know my husband and I would have a much better relationship. We have a great one know but it wouldn't hurt to do even better.