So Ungrateful!

[MamaBear]

I have this one DCM that is the most ungrateful woman. We have b'day parties for each child here & we have holiday parties too. All the parents bring a little gift for the b'day child (out of the kindness of their hearts) and the parent of the b'day child usually brings goodie bags for the other kids to make it more fun. I always make my cupcakes & decorate with balloons, banners & streamers and go all out. It's always a fun time if its a b'day party or holiday party.

All the parents I've ever had have always helped out or at least asked if they could by bringing cookies or goodie bags or whatever. This one mom has never brought anything for any of the parties at all or even offered even when it was her own sons b'day. So his b'day is coming up again next week & I'm having a combined party for him & another boy with the same b'days. She miraculously tells me the other day that she is going to bring something for all the kids for the party. Shocker!

But then yesterday she tells me something that really ticked me off. She says "So I am going to bring each child a book for the party instead of some silly gift or stupid goodie bag. Every time "Johnny" brings home a goodie bag, I just throw it away. Its just rubbish to me... and the gifts are so not necessary" WOOOOW.... really? Made me so mad because I've always made sure that her son got "baby oriented" stuff in his goodie bag that always cost extra $$... like a baby teether boy & stuffed animal or something like that. Most of my parents who make the goodie bags put a lot of time & effort into it too & its always cute stuff inside & nice gifts too.

So needless to say, next week when I have the party for the 2 boys, I'm not sending her son home with a goodie bag at all. What really ticked me off was that every party I usually have an extra and I would be sure to send "Johnny" home with 2 bags to take one home to his older brother!!!! Now I know she just throws them away. I wonder if she even looks in it!!?? She has never thanked me or anyone else for any gifts he takes home for anything. This is the same English mom that I have complained about before. She is such a snob it drives me crazy! If her son wasn't so sweet, I would have gotten rid of them a long time ago.

[wdmmom]

If she's going to be SCROOGE, than I wouldn't send anything home either! Sad!

I've had a select few parents that haven't done anything in terms of contribution for birthday parties at daycare but they are the first ones to ask if we are celebrating their childs at daycare. Imagine!

I know it is hard to hear that a parent doesn't care or even respect that you do things for the children but in all honesty, I wouldn't let this woman get to me. I would continue to do what I've always done and not give it a second thought.

Afterall, if you are doing what you do for the kids....they haven't changed their behaviors so they don't deserve to be short changed because of your feelings for the mom or because of the mom's actions.

Pretend you aren't aware of the fact that mom is acting ungrateful and tossing the goodie bags and just do what you have always done......that is taking the high road IMPO.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Mom may be an ungrateful so and so, BUT how is the little boy going to feel if he sees everyone else getting a goodie bag but not him? Its not the kids fault mom is being jerky. You said he's sweet, why diss him? "I gave Jonny a goodie bag. If you don't like it you can dispose of it. I didn't want him to feel left out, sorry."

[cheerfuldom]

Do things for the kids, not the parents. That said, it sounds like you go above and beyond for parties. If it makes you upset when people are ungrateful, maybe you should tone down the celebration to a level that you can handle. Perhaps buying only items that the kids can enjoy while in your care, so nothing gets thrown out at home.

[MamaBear]

I was angry & venting when I posted this yesterday. Of course I will give "Johnny" a gift to take home. I might have him keep his goodie bag here though so he can play with it here since she'll just dump it. OR I could send him home and very sarcastically say to her "I know you will just throw his gifts away, but I'm still sending him home with them!" lol

I'm not going to change the way I do my parties. I just gotta accept that some parents will be buttheads and not care about any of it.
This same mom posted on her FB page last night: "My kids are doing great. One is in preschool & the other is in daycare. I go to work full time because they drive me crazy & I can't stand being with them for too long"... WOW. After I read that last night, just made me realize what a huge jerk she is. I feel bad for the kids. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.

[Zoe]

Originally Posted by MamaBear

I was angry & venting when I posted this yesterday. Of course I will give "Johnny" a gift to take home. I might have him keep his goodie bag here though so he can play with it here since she'll just dump it. OR I could send him home and very sarcastically say to her "I know you will just throw his gifts away, but I'm still sending him home with them!" lol

I'm not going to change the way I do my parties. I just gotta accept that some parents will be buttheads and not care about any of it.
This same mom posted on her FB page last night: "My kids are doing great. One is in preschool & the other is in daycare. I go to work full time because they drive me crazy & I can't stand being with them for too long"... WOW. After I read that last night, just made me realize what a huge jerk she is. I feel bad for the kids. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.

That's horrifying that she admits that on facebook. You hit the nail on the head mamabear...what a butthead!

I'd keep the goodie bag for the boy at your house so he can play with the stuff. Poor kid. He's lucky to have you!

I would give the child a bag like everyone else, but at pick up time I would say to the mother-Johnny has a goody bag but if your going to throw it out, please just leave it here so that he can enjoy it, a lot of thought and time was put into that for him. Then leave it up to her-

Awwwwwww sad

She might be the type of person that just doesn't like a lot of clutter or stuff

Honestly she sounds like a .......well if you can't say anything nice I shouldn't say anything at all........but she does;-) Who does that, yet alone on facebook.........and again another Thumper moment.

[MarinaVanessa]

Originally Posted by MamaBear

Of course I will give "Johnny" a gift to take home. I might have him keep his goodie bag here though so he can play with it here since she'll just dump it.

I've come across this same exact issue here at my DC. My DCM's comment was "Ugh, more trash." . Same thing when we did crafts. I just kept everything here at DC including everything he made. After a few months she asked me about it "Didn't little Billy get or make anything for Christmas?" and I just told her "Yep, but since you think it's trash I didn't want to overwhelm you or have it thrown out so it'll all stay here from now on" She was a little taken aback but whatev. If it woudn't be appreciated at home it could stay here where it woud be used and appreciated.