What To Do When A 1 Year Old Gives Up Naps?!

[sahm2three]

I am sick, and about at the end of my rope. I have a 1 yo dcg who is no longer napping. She hasn't since she was about 11 months. I have continually put her in the bed at scheduled nap times and just let her cry or talk. Well, now the other little girl in the room with her isn't sleeping. I have no where to move one of them. All of my rooms are at least doubled up. What the heck?! How can a 1 year old go without naps??? She doesn't nap AT ALL. Ever. If I felt better I could probably attempt to come up with a solution, but I am sick, tired, and just plain worn out from all the troubles with the kids. Guess I just needed to vent. I need a mental health day....or week!

[Blackcat31]

sahm2three~ how many little ones do you have (including your own)? Are all your daycare kiddos full time or part? Can you afford to scale down or "exchange" some of your troubling dck's for some new ones?

Please don't take this wrong, (I really do have YOUR best interests at heart) but you really seem stressed over these last few months and from reading your posts it seems you really just have too many 'difficult' or 'high needs' kids. In NO WAY does that make you a bad provider, just that you may need to rearrange the dynamics of your group so that you can actually enjoy your job...kwim?

It is really not fun just to survive each day and nothing more. It wears on you and eventually it will come out. I don't mean to sound as though I am lecturing you but I really am concerned for you. You seem to be struggling to get everyone into a good routine and as you yourself said, you just keep getting these really hard to adjust kids.

Maybe it is time to take a step back and regroup. Change kids, cut hours, let some kids go and look for others that fit your group better. Take a vacation day with just YOUR kids. Heck, take a vacation day ALONE without your kids.

Make a list and write down the top few things (kids/behaviors) that are most stressing you out and change those things. Either by adjusting times and schedules or by losing them altogether. I know financially you many feel you have to continue on but mentally and physically, you will pay a bigger price if you don't reel it all in now.

It just seems that you are really needing a break and I wish I could find a solution or way to give you one....

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

sahm2three~ how many little ones do you have (including your own)? Are all your daycare kiddos full time or part? Can you afford to scale down or "exchange" some of your troubling dck's for some new ones?

Please don't take this wrong, (I really do have YOUR best interests at heart) but you really seem stressed over these last few months and from reading your posts it seems you really just have too many 'difficult' or 'high needs' kids. In NO WAY does that make you a bad provider, just that you may need to rearrange the dynamics of your group so that you can actually enjoy your job...kwim?

It is really not fun just to survive each day and nothing more. It wears on you and eventually it will come out. I don't mean to sound as though I am lecturing you but I really am concerned for you. You seem to be struggling to get everyone into a good routine and as you yourself said, you just keep getting these really hard to adjust kids.

Maybe it is time to take a step back and regroup. Change kids, cut hours, let some kids go and look for others that fit your group better. Take a vacation day with just YOUR kids. Heck, take a vacation day ALONE without your kids.

Make a list and write down the top few things (kids/behaviors) that are most stressing you out and change those things. Either by adjusting times and schedules or by losing them altogether. I know financially you many feel you have to continue on but mentally and physically, you will pay a bigger price if you don't reel it all in now.

It just seems that you are really needing a break and I wish I could find a solution or way to give you one....

I agree. I am burnt out. But I can't quit, or scale down. I have people on my waiting list, but they are all sibling sets with babies. I don't want any more babies. I won't take any more, I for some reason get the high needs ones. I am so tired of having to remind parents of my policies constantly. I am tired of sick kids being brought to daycare. I am tired of kids who refuse to sleep. I am tired of babies that cry all day long. And I think the biggest problem is, I am not getting a break at night. My husband is very little help, so I am just basically working 16 to 18 hours a day! I think that if I got a break at night it would make my day time much less stressful. But I dread going to sleep because I just know that morning will come and I will have to do it all over again. And right now, EVERY SINGLE kid in care is sick with a cold. But no fever so not really able to just send them home. So sick enough to make them miserable and having to constantly wipe noses. I wish I could afford to just let the hard ones go. I really do.

[Blackcat31]

I completely understand and like I said, I wish there was somehting I could do to really help.

But ya know, just because a kid doesn't have a fever or an infection doesn't mean they HAVE to be allowed to come to daycare. I have in my contract that soemtimes children who have mild colds require more care than I am able to physically provide so they must be sent home or stay home. For example, when a child is abnormally cranky or has an enormous amount of snot where all I do is wipe their nose and the sanitary thing comes into play. I have even told a few parents that their child has just been so "out of sorts" for the last few days that I am mandating a day or two at home with a parent in order for them to regroup and come back to care.

Sometimes a kid just needs a good day at home with mom, dad or grandma to rest and recover from the icky's. Never feel like you HAVE to keep a kid just because they aren't exhibiting symptoms if an illness. If they are just too much, then send them home.

Also for your non-napping kids, I would start getting really tough with the parents and tell them that they need to figure out a nap schedule and stick with it. If their child is refusing to nap or not getting with the program after a certain amount of time, call the parent to pick up and tell them why. You cannot afford (Physically and mentally) to allow the parents to just do whatever at home with no schedule while you try and 'fix' all of it at daycare each day. It is absolutlely imperative that parents work WITH you indeveloping these routines and schedules. If they can't then you are going to get nowhere and be burnt out to the point that you just lose it. kwim?

I know those actions seem a bit harsh but really, I have BTDT and it works. From now on if a child is being difficult and the behavior gets bad during the day...send them home. It is amazing hwo quickly a parent gets their ducks in a row when it becomes their problem. Roght now it seems to be your problem and that isn't fair to anyone (especially you and your family)

You, yourself said it, you are sick of the sick kids being sent to care. PUT A STOP TO IT. You DO have that power. Catherder has a great illness policy where the child stays home only 24 hours if the parent chooses to keep them out but if you send them home from daycare, they have to stay out a minimum of 48 hours.

It really makes parents think twice before sending a sick kid. I guarantee if you try it it will work out a lot of that issue.

Hang in there and if there is anything I can do, let me know....

[cheerfuldom]

I am going to be perfectly honest here because I have been there before, when I first started, and would have appreciated a big kick in the bum for the sake of my sanity.

GET RID OF THE PROBLEM KIDS If you don't have the room to let the non-nappers and criers cry it out then you just don't have the room for them period. I know you are frustrated and exhausted....but you are acting like you have no control over the situation. Stop being a victim, make some changes and tell your DH to get off his rear and help, end of story. As Dr. Phil would say, you teach people how to treat you. You have to do what it takes to teach them to treat you differently. I'd rather get rid of some problem kids and take a chance off some kids from the waiting list then keep going as is. Life is too short to hate every day and eventually, you are just going to have a huge breakdown and its all going to explode on you.....be proactive, make the changes, stop doing this every day to yourself. You can change things!!!

[Ariana]

I agree something has got to give here. If having a break at night will help you then get your husband to help you out. Make a list for him or JUST LEAVE and then he has to step up.

If kids are too sick to paticipate at daycare they go home, fever or not at my house. Constant crying and whining means they're not feeling up to being at daycare IMO.