Debbie Downer At The Door

[Mary Poppins]

I have a 2yo dcg whose gma drops off and picks up and all she wants to do is talk badly about this little boy's dad (her dd's bf) - right in front of dcg!! I always try to redirect the conversation but she always turns it back toward negativity about the bio dad.

Granted the dad is young and not in the running for a Father of the Year award but still, it isn't healthy for dcg to hear all this talk about her own father. And it's not healthy for me to hear nothing but negativity! I try to always keep a sunny outlook and she's really bumming me out.

Has anyone dealt with this and how did (or would) you handle this?

BTW, they are still in a trial period with me so I could just bow out gracefully but dcg is really sweet and fits with my group and I feel like I could make this work if I could somehow magically change her gma back to the happy lady she seemed to be at our interview.

[sharlan]

You know Grandma, I know you have some issues with Dad. I feel that it's not healthy for Janey to hear this and I would really prefer not to hear anymore negativity.

[Mary Poppins]

Originally Posted by sharlan

You know Grandma, I know you have some issues with Dad. I feel that it's not healthy for Janey to hear this and I would really prefer not to hear anymore negativity.

Yes, I do need to just say it. The longer I wait the worse it will get. Why is this part of the job soo hard?

[LittleD]

Originally Posted by Mary Poppins

Yes, I do need to just say it. The longer I wait the worse it will get. Why is this part of the job soo hard?

Because we don't want to offend/hurt feelings, or make them angry enough to term?

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Mary Poppins

Yes, I do need to just say it. The longer I wait the worse it will get. Why is this part of the job soo hard?

Because you shouldnt have to even say it. You have enough kids to take care of, you shouldnt have to be reprimanded adults too. Unfortunately, it has to be said now. She's going to take your listening as you agreeing with her.

[SunshineMama]

She's going to make you have to say it, and the sooner you say it the easier it will be. Tell the child to go and play, then tell gma that it is not healthy for the child to hear that kind of talk about her father, and you would appreciate it if she left conversations like that to the grown ups.

[wdmmom]

Most of my arrivals and departures take less than 1 minute. If gma is doing the drop off, take the child and tell granny to have a nice day. Some parents don't even step in the threshold of the house at arrivals. Nip it now and make yourself unavailable to entertain her philosophy of Dcd.

When it comes to situations I ask myself 2 key questions:

1. Can this net me more money?

If the answer is NO, than stop doing it.

2. Can this lose me money?

In your case, yes it can! Tell gma that you appreciate her insight, politely remind her that HE is your client and you can not and will not entertain the idea of engaging in conversation related to him.