Not Getting My Hopes Up Yet...

[Breezy]

But the day may finally be coming!! I have an interview this week for a kiddo that could replace my screamer DCG. If they enroll, I will be terming.

So how do I do it? I have neve termed and wouldnt even know what to say. Her mom and dad will be shocked I am sure and will have a lot of trouble finding care for weekends and their alternating retail shifts.

[littlemissmuffet]

Originally Posted by Breezy

But the day may finally be coming!! I have an interview this week for a kiddo that could replace my screamer DCG. If they enroll, I will be terming.

So how do I do it? I have neve termed and wouldnt even know what to say. Her mom and dad will be shocked I am sure and will have a lot of trouble finding care for weekends and their alternating retail shifts.

Good luck, I hope it all works out!

As for terming, just let mom and dad know that it's not working out. I try to give as few details as possible. Parents generally don't take it well no matter what the situation is or what you say, so try to make it as short and sweet as possible!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet

Good luck, I hope it all works out!

As for terming, just let mom and dad know that it's not working out. I try to give as few details as possible. Parents generally don't take it well no matter what the situation is or what you say, so try to make it as short and sweet as possible!

Yes, I definitely hope the potential new client works out for you!

I am on the fence though about telling mom and dad the reasons for terming in this case. I usually always try and keep terminations short and simple and very business like but in this case, I almost think it is important that the parents know that the child is being termed because of her constant screaming. Maybe they can help the child become more independent or eliminate any type of possible medical conditions so she doesn't scream ALL the time.

With all the posts OP has made about how child instantly stops screaming if being held, leads me to believe that her behavior is learned and the parents really need ot help her un-learn it so the next provider can handle the child and she won't ultimately end up being a daycare hopper...being termed by every provider who simply cannot tolerate the screaming....kwim?

I wouldn't necessarily say "Oh, I am terming because I can't stand your child screaming all day" but I would say somehting like "I am unable to meet her needs as she really needs one-to-one care or a smaller environment" or something that lets the parents know the terming IS because of childs behavior but in the best interest of the child. Does that make sense?

[Breezy]

Makes total sense. I was telling DH this morning that I could tolerate it to a point before I started filling more spaces and now that I am almost full, she is hating my attention being divided.

I still feel bad because they come here an hour and a half away because noone else will accomodate her schedule.

[littlemissmuffet]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Yes, I definitely hope the potential new client works out for you!

I am on the fence though about telling mom and dad the reasons for terming in this case. I usually always try and keep terminations short and simple and very business like but in this case, I almost think it is important that the parents know that the child is being termed because of her constant screaming. Maybe they can help the child become more independent or eliminate any type of possible medical conditions so she doesn't scream ALL the time.

With all the posts OP has made about how child instantly stops screaming if being held, leads me to believe that her behavior is learned and the parents really need ot help her un-learn it so the next provider can handle the child and she won't ultimately end up being a daycare hopper...being termed by every provider who simply cannot tolerate the screaming....kwim?

I wouldn't necessarily say "Oh, I am terming because I can't stand your child screaming all day" but I would say somehting like "I am unable to meet her needs as she really needs one-to-one care or a smaller environment" or something that lets the parents know the terming IS because of childs behavior but in the best interest of the child. Does that make sense?

I agree with your logic - but have dealt with so many parents who absolutely cannot/will not admit that they are part of the problem or are creating a monster that I usually just avoid saying anything at all. I will mention throughout a difficult child's stay that there are problems, what exactly they are, how I'm handling them (what's working/not working) and even provide suggestions for parents to help - so when it ends in a termination they usually already know.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet

I agree with your logic - but have dealt with so many parents who absolutely cannot/will not admit that they are part of the problem or are creating a monster that I usually just avoid saying anything at all. I will mention throughout a difficult child's stay that there are problems, what exactly they are, how I'm handling them (what's working/not working) and even provide suggestions for parents to help - so when it ends in a termination they usually already know.

I nearing that point too.

I used to try and make sure the parents knew ALL the details and gave long drawn out explanations as I truly believed I am/was helping parents see the light, understand or educating them but now I do things a bit differently (as you do) and was for all intents and purposes giving the advice I figure most providers want to hear...how to placate and help parents when it comes to difficult situations.

[cheerfuldom]

I do tell parents a reason if they insist on it. I have termed a screamer before and told the mom that the little girl cried all day and that I would recommend a SAHM or nanny situation for her and one-on-one care. I have a small ratio so there is probably not a chance that she would find a smaller daycare than i already have. In this case, the little girl was honestly just a brat but the parents werent willing to change a thing and if they arent, they need to find a provider that will not ask them to adjust to care and will adjust to what the little girl is already doing. This was their 2nd or 3rd daycare and I know the one before termed for crying but did not tell the parents that. I felt the parents needed an honest answer. Mom quit her job and began babysitting one other child and stayed home with her own child. Some kids are not meant for daycare. I dont care if the parent gets mad at me.....I would rather take the risk and tell them the truth.