Long drop-offs and pick-ups?

I have a mom who stays an hour at drop-offs and 1/2 hour at pick-ups. During this time she plays with her kids outside, helps with whatever we are doing (helps put a bib on her 1 year old for snack, helps hand out snack, etc) however I have told her before that she does not need to help. When she is there she is talking constantly about work, their house, etc so I think she just wants somebody to chat with but I don't have the time, which I have told her many, many times. When she is here the kids are wild, she'll tell them one thing and I am constantly correcting her (we can't go outside until everyone goes potty, they have to try their veggies before they get 2nds, etc) so it's hard to have her here. I have tried to tell her that it work so much better when drop offs and pick ups are short and sweet and it might last a day or two and then we're back to square one. Pick-ups are the same, kids don't want to leave so she sits so they can play longer. I've had them ready by the door and they just play in the front yard then for 1/2 hour while walking to the car. We live in a small town and our kids are the same age so I don't want to "ruffle feathers". I don't want to lose them since all of our girls are the same ages and they play SO well, I love the kids and I don't want to lose the money. Any suggestions??

[bunnyslippers]

This is a tough one, and one I have struggled with for the exact same reasons. I don't have many tips, but I can commiserate. I think that it is something you have to decide how much you want to push it. If it really impacts your day, then I would let her know it has to stop, but that it may offend her. If it is something you can tolerate, then maybe just take it for what it is. A half hour of a break from your routine and antoher adult to talk to for a little while as you go through your day. For me, I have found it is easier to just let these moms hang for a bit and "help."

[DaisyMamma]

I have one that does it in the morning, which really irritates me because she is the first to arrive and means she could be getting here a half hour later. I have no advice at all. Another member suggested that they take the child by the hand and say 'tell mommy goodbye' and go off to another room. I don't have this option as my front door goes into my playroom, but I tried it anyway. Seeing as dcb is first to arrive and my own kids are still in our living room I took dcb in there and sat on the couch with my kids. She left quicker that day, as she doesn't know how to operate the gate to get in our family room (she didn't ask to come in, or try to open it, but I could tell that was the problem) I will continue to meet him at the gate and pick him up over it from now on. Is there something similar that you can do?

[renodeb]

Ok heres my advice: Tell her that you cant legally have her in your home as a helper or any thing like that. Even if its not the truth it will get her out of there hopefully. Good luck. I couldnt imagine any of my parents staying like that.
Debbie

Great suggestions everyone! Thanks! I live in a split level so I have a gate at the top of my stairs where they go first. I meet them in the entry way and take the kids but she follows me up and unlocks the gate or asks me to help her with it! I always stand in the entry and have the kids say good-bye to her but as soon as I start up the stairs she takes her shoes off and follows me up. My husband says I need to just tell her how I feel but on the other hand I feel like she is paying me and trusting me with her kids so I would feel terrible telling her she can't come in??

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Great suggestions everyone! Thanks! I live in a split level so I have a gate at the top of my stairs where they go first. I meet them in the entry way and take the kids but she follows me up and unlocks the gate or asks me to help her with it! I always stand in the entry and have the kids say good-bye to her but as soon as I start up the stairs she takes her shoes off and follows me up. My husband says I need to just tell her how I feel but on the other hand I feel like she is paying me and trusting me with her kids so I would feel terrible telling her she can't come in??

She is paying for a service that does not include her coming in and socializing for 1.5 hours a day. Its a business. Start thinking like that and you will cut this off asap. I would just straight out say "Pam, you can't stay anymore to chat like you have been. The kids are fine and I need to get started with my day. Please say goodbye at the door and then you are free to go off to your day. Thanks for understanding and following this rule from now on. Dropoffs and pickups should be 5 minutes or less"

[My3cents]

Any suggestions??[/quote]

Just tell her bluntly, to the point and as nice as you can. Unless she has been cleared as a helper she really should not be there for that long. Blame it on licensing, and it really is being truthful. Parents are aloud to visit at any time of the day but that doesn't mean they are allowed to set up camp. She has had enough time to see that you are a good provider and right fit for her. Time to limit drop off and pick up to be less then five minutes. Assure her if she needs to set up a conference with you, that you are more then willing to do that after hours for a set amount of time. It is very hard to start your day when you have someone lurking over you and confusing to the kids. It is not playdate time. It is daycare. Suggest to her that she join a playgroup that she get involved in with her child. Your daycare is not playgroup. It is hard---

Best-

[Ariana]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

She is paying for a service that does not include her coming in and socializing for 1.5 hours a day. Its a business. Start thinking like that and you will cut this off asap. I would just straight out say "Pam, you can't stay anymore to chat like you have been. The kids are fine and I need to get started with my day. Please say goodbye at the door and then you are free to go off to your day. Thanks for understanding and following this rule from now on. Dropoffs and pickups should be 5 minutes or less"

Exactly this! This is a business not a chat session and she's disrupting your day and the kids you care for. I would also tell her that if she is unable to follow the guidelines that you have in place she will have to find another daycare provider. Really let her know that you see this as very serious and are no longer putting up with it. She's using you.