Parent E-Mailed Me A New List Of Concerns

[momofboys]

Many of you gave me some great advice a week or so ago about a parent who threateningly/demeaningly made a big deal about being concerned about his child possibly getting hurt in my home. There are other issues at stake but this was the important one.

I did e-mail them & after they had written a nice response apologizing so I decided to give them a second chance. Dumby me - always giving people the benefit of the doubt & taking people at their word. Their true colors have emerged & it isn't pretty!

Anyway, today after drop-off parent e-mailed me a new list of concerns - I knew that was what would happen, that our "resolved" issue would snowball into new issues each week.

In a nutshell said child has not been super happy here since coming - I have noticed - parents have noticed. She doesn't participate & parents tend to coddle her & give into every whim. Sorry but I can't do that in group care. So after parent had e-mailed about concern 22 I decided ENOUGH, especially after I had dealt with blow-up dad. I let them know tonight that I was giving them notice- which is what I should have done last week after dad's blow-up.

So DCD calls me cell phone & I see it is him so I don't pick up as I am at a child's sporting event. I listen to the message & am blown away at how rude he was & belittling to me (he proved his behavior is as nasty as his first blow-up which confirmed to me I was doing the right thing). He is mad about my notice & I am unprofessional & he can't understand why I don't want to work with them & basically on & on & he is kind of yelling & he wants their stuff back tonight.

I have termed before but NEVER got such a negative reaction - I may need therapy. So I politely call wife back a few minutes later & she is mean & nasty also so I hang up after a minute or two. I find it funny that they LOVEd me until I termed & now I am so unprofessional/worthless. She even put a dig in that they had an interview with another provider tomorrow to which I said - that is good because you need to go somewhere where you & your child can be happy.
Anyway, I guess more than anything I need some encouragement b/c having these two parents yell & belittle me hurt a little. I mean why is that necessary?

If your hairdresser moves away do you cry a river to her & tell her she is awful & unprofessional!? Also I want some advice - DH & I are going to their home tomorrow to drop off their pack and play - I'd prefer to not see them. And am almost contemplating calling our police friend to accompany us or at least do a drive-by when we drop-off. Only half kidding about that.

Should I politely let them know that I saved his nasty voicemail & if I encounter anymore communication from them I will be forwarding it onto the authorities? Sucky thing is this one child (great kid really but I feel sorry for the next provider who has to deal with them) will likely be in one of my kids' classes this fall so I will have to see the parent at least a little bit unless I am super-sneaky about drop-off & believe me I do not want to have any interaction with this dad. Ughhhhhhhh

[sfp]

Girl. I feel for you. Glad you termed though.

I would be very quick with pp drop off. Just drop and run, no drama.

As for them being in the same class... Let's hope they can be decent adults... Good luck and hugs!

[Hunni Bee]

Is there a reason why you are doing the dropping off of their stuff? I get that you dont want them back at your house, but people as threatening and nasty as these tend to get worse when they are in their own element.

If you do go, make sure you have every tiny particle that belongs to them and have your DH deliver it to the.door. I wouldn't mention the police/voicemail unless they come with more drama.

[momofboys]

Originally Posted by Hunni Bee

Is there a reason why you are doing the dropping off of their stuff? I get that you dont want them back at your house, but people as threatening and nasty as these tend to get worse when they are in their own element.

If you do go, make sure you have every tiny particle that belongs to them and have your DH deliver it to the.door. I wouldn't mention the police/voicemail unless they come with more drama.

I suggested we (my DH) would drop it off mostly b/c he is off work today & there is no way I want them (would likely be him - the DCD) coming to my home with my DH not home. This DCD has a mean streak & I want nothing to do with him. We are going to drop stuff off this morning on our way out of town for a fun day with our kids. Still feeling a little down b/c of his nasty voicemail. Why are people so mean?

[Kaddidle Care]

Don't worry hon - Lady Karma usually bites them in the butt!

I'm not sure why you are expected to deliver their P&P but I would leave it on the porch and text them that it's there.

The world is full of those that are high and mighty and feel they are better than anyone else. Move on and put it behind you. If they still are carrying resentment by the time your kids start school it's their problem. Chances are the parents of the rest of the class will think they are jerks anyway.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care

Don't worry hon - Lady Karma usually bites them in the butt!

I'm not sure why you are expected to deliver their P&P but I would leave it on the porch and text them that it's there.

The world is full of those that are high and mighty and feel they are better than anyone else. Move on and put it behind you. If they still are carrying resentment by the time your kids start school it's their problem. Chances are the parents of the rest of the class will think they are jerks anyway.

I agree with this. When people are rude and nasty it is really a reflection of who they are and has nothing to do with you....except that you wouldn't give into their demands and play their game.

Let Karma deal with them and move on knowing you did nothing wrong. Some people feed off of drama and you found yourself a couple who like to play nasty. Give them their stuff and refuse any and all contact with them from now on. Be happy they are gone and will no longer be your problem.

I would let your friend know you are going there...just in case but I wouldn't bring him along. Just drop their stuff off and walk away. I might also say a prayer or two for their next provider but that is as far as I would go with this situation.

[Countrygal]

So sorry this happened. I hate it when people feel they have to belittle and run down others to make themselves feel worthy or right. Just keep in mind that it is their shortcomings - not yours. {{{HUGS}}}

[texascare]

Oh honey, didn't you know that we hung the moon untill we terminate? Then they hate us!

[MizzCheryl]

Arent you nervous about going to their home? I would be. I had to do this too but I got lucky and the DCF was gone when I dropped off the stuff. I was actually going to term when I dropped off the stuff but they were gone so I left the stuff on theri porch and called them. They were furious. Good luck. Maybe they will be gone
If it is not raining I would just open the car door and sit the stuff in the drive way then leave. Let them come out and get it so you do not have to talk with them. No drama and no conflict. When they call to cuss you just ignore it.

[momofboys]

Thanks all you made me feel better about myself. I didn't stoop to their ridiculously low level but yes it does still hurt but they surely showed their true selves & wow it was mean! I really should have went with my gut instinct & termed last week after the dad blew up at me. Of course we would likely have had the same reaction.
No problem dropping stuff off - DH left it on their porch.

[momofboys]

Originally Posted by texascare

Oh honey, didn't you know that we hung the moon untill we terminate? Then they hate us!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I had no idea that we were "allowed" to drop their stuff off on their porch after they call/text us hateful things. I am doing that this afternoon! Thank you for your post, it gives my heart peace.

[MizzCheryl]

Originally Posted by momofboys

Thanks all you made me feel better about myself. I didn't stoop to their ridiculously low level but yes it does still hurt but they surely showed their true selves & wow it was mean! I really should have went with my gut instinct & termed last week after the dad blew up at me. Of course we would likely have had the same reaction.
No problem dropping stuff off - DH left it on their porch.

We live and learn. You are only guilty oh having faith that DCP would treat you with respect. Not always the case. Some people love you as long as you do, say, and act the way they want you too. When you do it any other way your trash.

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I agree with this. When people are rude and nasty it is really a reflection of who they are and has nothing to do with you....except that you wouldn't give into their demands and play their game.

Let Karma deal with them and move on knowing you did nothing wrong. Some people feed off of drama and you found yourself a couple who like to play nasty. Give them their stuff and refuse any and all contact with them from now on. Be happy they are gone and will no longer be your problem.

I would let your friend know you are going there...just in case but I wouldn't bring him along. Just drop their stuff off and walk away. I might also say a prayer or two for their next provider but that is as far as I would go with this situation.

I was going to say that you should just drop the pack n play on the porch and run...better yet, have dh drop it off while you wait in the car. And make no contact. If they see you dropping it off and try to talk to you, I would just ignore them and walk quickly away. They have shown their true colors and you can just count your blessings that you are rid of nasty people. I had a couple like this last year. As long as I did exactly what they wanted the way they wanted, they loved me. Disagreed with them on how to handle an issue and they became very nasty.

I totally agree that thier next provider could use your prayers, too.

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by momofboys

Thanks all you made me feel better about myself. I didn't stoop to their ridiculously low level but yes it does still hurt but they surely showed their true selves & wow it was mean! I really should have went with my gut instinct & termed last week after the dad blew up at me. Of course we would likely have had the same reaction.
No problem dropping stuff off - DH left it on their porch.

I posted before I got to the end of all the posts. I am so glad that there was no problem with the drop off. Hopefully that will be the last contact you have with mean, nasty people!

[cheerfuldom]

You HAVE to make sure that they actually get the PNP though. If they say they never found it on the porch or that it got ruined where you put it, again, more drama with them. I make parents pick up items and then sign saying that they received everything and that no further contact is necessary.

[daycare]

I have not had a chance to read all of the responses......


I have in my policy that when termed, you have 30days to pick up your childs stuff. You must schedule an appointment in advance. If you do not pick up within 30 days, all items will become my property and may be donated to the goodwill or charity of choice.

If the parents call to pick up the stuff, I type up a quick list of what is being returned to them and the condition of the item. I ask them to sign it. If they refuse to sign it, I will write down, refused to sign. I then stick it in their file.

[littlemissmuffet]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

You HAVE to make sure that they actually get the PNP though. If they say they never found it on the porch or that it got ruined where you put it, again, more drama with them. I make parents pick up items and then sign saying that they received everything and that no further contact is necessary.

Me too. It's ALWAYS good policy to have parents sign off on EVERYTHING throughout your business relationship so nothing come back and bite you in the...
this includes a termination form that has a section stating their belongings were returned and in the shape they were left with you.
If they don't sign just write on the form "refused to sign", you sign and date it, have a witness sign and date it and then keep it in their file. *I have a witness here when a termed family comes for their belongings if they have been threatening or generally unprofessional in any manner.

[PolarCare]

First off, if little precious is unhappy in daycare, she might be better off with a nanny at home. Some kids don't do well in a daycare setting.

Unfortunately, no matter where little precious attends daycare or school, her parents will still be jerks. Don't worry. This will be apparent to everyone they ever do business with. If they hassle you at school, wait til you have an audience and loudly vocalize that you have asked them repeatedly to leave you alone.

"Please don't continue to harass me. This is exactly the behavior that resulted in terminating my daycare service for your family! Please leave me alone. I do not want to involve the police, but my next step is pressing a harassment charge!"

Hopefully you will get lucky and they will be too shamed to harass you.