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  #1  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:18 AM
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Default Would You Enroll Your Child In My Daycare?

Hi, I am new and I have a very unique family situation that has been tabu in the past but is now gaining acceptance..

I am a sister wife and I have been wanting to open up a family daycare.
I have a lot of love to give, I want to do preschool activities with the children, and I love to take walks and sing to them.

Do you think I should tell the parents the truth of my family?
Would you enroll your child in my care?
What advice can you give?

I wish my marriage was legal so I didn't have to worry about this.
Thanks in advance.
  #2  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:23 AM
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Would I personally, yes. I have no problem with plural marriage. However, I think others might. I think that being discreet, not lying or hiding, but just not saying anything might be the way to go. I wish it wasn't an issue for some people, but I think it may be.

But then again, parents might be upset if they feel you didn't disclose your marital status from them on purpose. If they think it is something that could negatively impact their children.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:28 AM
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No. It isn't a subject I would feel comfortable broaching with my young child, or the type of home life I would want him to see, since we believe in monogomy.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:34 AM
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I would be honest with potential clients. It is your lifestyle, and if you are comfrotable enough to live it you should be comfortable enough to be honest about it.
  #5  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi, I am new and I have a very unique family situation that has been tabu in the past but is now gaining acceptance..

I am a sister wife and I have been wanting to open up a family daycare.
I have a lot of love to give, I want to do preschool activities with the children, and I love to take walks and sing to them.

Do you think I should tell the parents the truth of my family?
Would you enroll your child in my care?
What advice can you give?

I wish my marriage was legal so I didn't have to worry about this.
Thanks in advance.
Yes I think you should tell prospective parents the truth.

No I would not enroll my children with you. Not because I don't agree with your choice though. It's more that plural marriage is most of the time seen in a negative light and I wouldn't feel safe leaving my children because of potential harrassing behaviours against you.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:45 AM
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Regular member logged out for privacy.

Honestly, no.

I believe that if parents and providers have drastically conflicting views on topics that the child will be exposed to while in the daycare provider's care, then it is inappropriate for the child to be enrolled with that daycare provider. Parents and providers can disagree on a number of things--like politics, for example, as long as the child is not inappropriately exposed to the provider's views. So let's say the parents are Democrats and the provider is a Republican... That's fine! It would be wrong, however, if the provider's political views impacted the child's care... and that, as a result, the parents didn't believe they could raise their child with their belief system because the child was getting so much opposing information from the daycare provider.

Your home situation would be so different from mine, and from how I plan to raise my children, that I could not send my child to your daycare and still raise him/her the way I intend.
  #7  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:50 AM
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Absolutely

As long as there is no minor marriage going on.. I could care less about your marriage.
  #8  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:55 AM
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Personally, I don't see the issue with it. As a parent, I care how you take care of my child. I don't care what does or doesnot go on in your bedroom after hours. I would be more concerned about the amount of alcohol you consume after hours and how your hangover would affect my child.

Providers have live in boyfriends/fiances/SO. Providers are divorced and the children go back and forth between parents. What's the difference?

Daycare families have gay parents, divorced parents, live in SO's. Do we feel that it's our busiiness how they live their lives? For the most part, no.
  #9  
Old 04-18-2013, 09:56 AM
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No,I would not send my child to your day care. I respect your life and what you want to do with it but it would be a conflict for me to send my child to you and at the same time try to guide him and teach him with my moral values.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sharlan View Post
Personally, I don't see the issue with it. As a parent, I care how you take care of my child. I don't care what does or doesnot go on in your bedroom after hours. I would be more concerned about the amount of alcohol you consume after hours and how your hangover would affect my child.

Providers have live in boyfriends/fiances/SO. Providers are divorced and the children go back and forth between parents. What's the difference?

Daycare families have gay parents, divorced parents, live in SO's. Do we feel that it's our busiiness how they live their lives? For the most part, no.
In my case I would not send my child to a HDC with any of this situations, not even a live in boyfriend because again, it would result in a great conflict with what I try to teach my child.
  #11  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:08 AM
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I would have no problem enrolling my child in your daycare. My concern is how my child is cared for. It actually falls in alignment with what I teach my kids about tolerance and acceptance of differences.

I would just be sure to be upfront with prospective families. Best wishes!
  #12  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:13 AM
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As far as I know this practice is illegal in the US so no, I would not send my child to your daycare. I also think you should be upfront with potential clients because I do think it's their right to know what kind of lifestyle the kids would be exposed to.
  #13  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:16 AM
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Hmmm. I am very against plural marriage and I wouldn't want my child exposed to it on a regular basis via her childcare - but as long as your lifestyle wasn't portrayed or discussed with/around my child, I wouldn't care.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jokalima View Post
In my case I would not send my child to a HDC with any of this situations, not even a live in boyfriend because again, it would result in a great conflict with what I try to teach my child.
I would send my child to a Gay couple. But, not a live in boyfriend. I would probably not send them to a sister wife either. Just because it's against my views of marriage. I think it's wrong to live together before marriage, and i'd teach that to my children.

To me, Gay relationships are totally different because laws don't make it easy.

To me, a sister wife is like a polyamorous relationship, which I wouldn't include my child in.
  #15  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:25 AM
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Would I? No. I would be afraid my child would overhear something or see something and question it at an age I wasn't ready for them to know about the subject of plural marriages.

But, I think you should give it a go and see!
  #16  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:28 AM
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I absolutely would.
  #17  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anedmonson View Post
I would have no problem enrolling my child in your daycare. My concern is how my child is cared for. It actually falls in alignment with what I teach my kids about tolerance and acceptance of differences.

I would just be sure to be upfront with prospective families. Best wishes!
This exactly.

I am raising my children to be open minded and respectful. If Jesus Christ could accept and love openly people from all walks of life so can my family.


As long as there was no issue with minors being involved and the relationships were healthy I wouldn't seek it out, but I wouldn't use that as a sole deciding factor on who I chose.

There are loads of married couples who I wouldn't leave my dog with because their interactions with each other are so disrespectful lol. I'd look more at the dynamic between the people involved rather than judge based on age, race, gender, religious affiliation or sexual orientation.




OP - if you feel comfortable responding again, do you live in an area where plural marriage is common? If it is this may not be an issue for you at all. If it's not I still wouldn't hide it. You should never be ashamed of who you are.
  #18  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:35 AM
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I don't know.....

I tend to judge people on if they are decent, kind humans.

I honestly don't have an answer to this one...... and it would be out of not knowing anyone with this situation and having any experience other then watching the Lifetime Network-

I don't know out of ignorance on my part for this subject, I just have no experience with this lifestyle.

Now what do I think of getting myself a side honey......hell yeah! (Kidding) one is enough.....lol
  #19  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:35 AM
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I believe too strongly that a woman deserves to be the number one choice for her spouse and, as such I wouldn't want my daughter to think it is ok for a husband to have several families on the go (different from legally divorced, blended families) Self-respect is too precious a developmental quality to risk.

No matter how taboo a subject is/once was you need to let your potential parents decide for themselves by being open. Do you share parenting of other sister wives' children, will your husband ever be around? Etc.

I am not so much concerned about what goes on in the bedroom but what goes on out of it.

You will probably be able to find enough like-minded clientele so I wouldn't worry too much.
  #20  
Old 04-18-2013, 10:35 AM
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This thread is being locked.

It has the potential to start some VERY unnecessary drama and will be handled by Admin (Michael).
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