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  #1  
Old 05-16-2017, 01:22 PM
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Default Why Aren't There Many Males In Daycare's?

the center where i work at is in need of male staffs. I am a male staff myself and was wondering why aren't there more male working daycare's and centers? My own experience is that i am much more likely to get accused than a female coworker. It was scary when i first worked here, these kids would always want to hug me, but i would always refused due to being accused.I had witness that there is some form of bias when it comes to male staff.

I had remember this one time where we were at the beach with the kids and where a lady was walking her dog near us and all the kids ran over to here. I rushed over because we don't know this lady even if she is harmless, we have polciy that kids aren't to interact with random people. I then asked my boss at that time if it was ok, and she told me that it was fine since she looked nice and harmless. Then she said " we would be more worry if it was a male, because you know..."

I would love to hug the kids, but since i don't people tend to think i am hardhearted.

Last edited by Michael; 05-18-2017 at 01:24 PM.
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Old 05-16-2017, 01:37 PM
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I understand, it IS sad.

You could always come up with some other form of physical affection that is you-specific if you're uncomfortable. A special high five, a ruffle of their hair, a pat on the back, etc.
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Old 05-16-2017, 01:45 PM
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My daughter was lucky to have male teachers at both of the two preschools she attended. Those were commercial settings not a home based program and I don't know how comfortable parents would be with a male teacher in a home setting in my area.... they are less trusting of home settings in general...

From my experience being on the school board and my dd's elementary significantly more women apply than males for open positions as teachers and most that do have significantly higher salary request than the women who apply.

My in-home program has more boys than girls and I would love a male teaching assistant!!

Could it be men want higher wages than daycare?
Could society not be supportive?
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Old 05-16-2017, 02:08 PM
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It's sad.

I see so many things my DH is so much better at providing the DCK's than I am but I understand the bias society seems to have about men in early childhood.

Sadly, many women feel they don't belong.

I've even seen providers that say they would never leave their child with a male caregiver.

Personally, my DH and I preferred male caregivers vs female caregivers.

As a provider, I prefer to deal with DCD's than most DCM's.

Here are several threads about men in early childhood http://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.ph...men+in+daycare
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Old 05-16-2017, 03:28 PM
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It's true that we males probably have a higher wage expectation, but the fear of men in general is the biggest reason. I first thought about daycare many years ago. In investigating the idea, I found 2 things. One, I couldn't afford to live on the income, and two, WHOA, male watching kids? Something's not right there.

A few years later, I thought about it again and did more detailed financial calculations and realised I missed out on some things the first time, like, income may be less than my home renovations, but I don't have to drive 15 min to an hour back and forth every day. I realised I can make it financially in daycare. At that time, reno was going very well though, so I held off, but a year later, in 2012, I watched a friends kids regularly for a couple months. It had been a few years since the last time I babysat. It brought back so much happiness that I made the decision then that some day, I am going into daycare.

Male daycare will never be as common as female for many reasons, but over time, we will grow and there will be more of us in the field. It's a fact of life that men are less interested in taking care of children, especially other people's kids.

As for the hugs, it shouldn't be a big deal. If a kid gives you a hug, hug them back. Just make it a quick one armed hug and if anyone complains, they have a problem.

Another big deal with men in the business is the diapers. When I was researching the idea again a few years ago, I saw MANY news articles and forum discussions (but not here) complaining about it. It's practically a crime for men to do diaper changes. Sorreey but I've changed diapers on 4 girls and 2 boys in my life. If I didn't, the parents would have gotten mad at me.

Hmmm, just realised that's probably another reason male daycare isn't common. We're not allowed to care for other people's children, but even if someone let us, we're not allowed to give hugs or change diapers.

That's my vent for the day.
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Old 05-16-2017, 05:49 PM
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A child is not going to accuse you of anything if it is not happening and kids are gender blind for the most part. I think you should give hugs if you want to. Be confident in who you are and the care you provide. False accusations are not common at all so why worry about it over a quick hug?

I wish there were more males and at the same time wish the majority of sex offenders weren't male. It certainly makes it hard for guys like you that want a career in childcare.
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Old 05-16-2017, 09:48 PM
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we had a male teacher at one center I worked at and he was useless! He had no clue what he was doing. We had alot of parents worried about a male taking their kids to the potty (he was a 2s teacher). Now I work at a center with a gay male teacher, He is the bomb. The kids love him. He dosent do the hug thing either but does Knuckles which the kids love!
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Old 05-17-2017, 05:23 AM
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Like the others said- there's a ton of different reasons. I decided long ago if I was going to make in this industry I couldn't worry about anyone else's issues with me being there. I cut parents a bit of slack. I give professionals 1 chance to have a real discussion about why I'm not a threat/ there to meet women/ I don't know what I'm doing/ etc. After that if they still are going to hold onto the idea that someone who pees standing up shouldn't be in childcare--- well I have a two word response. The second word is "them". You can guess the first word.
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Old 05-17-2017, 05:43 AM
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My son absolutely loves babies, and has pretty much decided that he wants work at a daycare or have a home daycare when he grows up. That or a police officer, lol.

But he already get a side eye - AT 8!! - for loving on little babies and being totally over the top CUTE with tiny kids. He is always asking - when are we getting another baby? Or he can't wait until he grows up to have babies (and you can't stop me!!).

He will always play with a friend's little brother or sister, and be all protective over them. I have gotten a few positive comments, but i have also been told its "off" or creepy that he even wants to play with little kids (really, it seems to be the moms of little girls who get creeped out). My older girls at that age had babies pushed on them for "babysitting practice". They hate babysitting.

Im not going to discourage a child oriented career, but I might bring up Kindie teacher as an option for the better possibility of supporting all those babies he wants. Or maybe he will be a sahd, who knows?
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Old 05-17-2017, 06:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
A child is not going to accuse you of anything if it is not happening and kids are gender blind for the most part. I think you should give hugs if you want to. Be confident in who you are and the care you provide. False accusations are not common at all so why worry about it over a quick hug?

I wish there were more males and at the same time wish the majority of sex offenders weren't male. It certainly makes it hard for guys like you that want a career in childcare.
While I agree that everyone should be confident in who they are and not stress about accusations, I disagree that it's not as common as we think.

I think it isn't factually as common as we think but I think some parents will take ANY opportunity to accuse someone of whatever when it suits them and/or when they are angry or upset.

We've all read about parents making crazy accusations over terminations and money issues.

So while abuse and accusation may not happen often, they are sure used alot in retaliation/anger etc .
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Old 05-17-2017, 08:44 AM
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I think men have always gotten the shaft in this area. I always found it quite odd when they will take their child to a daycare with men and make note that the man is not allowed to be alone with their kid or change their diapers, ect. You can tell at that point that their preconceived notions about men are not honest. If they were truly worried about their child's safety due to a past experience of abuse, they would never even CONSIDER leaving their child in that space. I think it does a disservice to men.

If you have had a bad history with men, I could understand the hesitancy, but if not and you just think the man has a higher chance of hurting your kid for no other reason, I can't understand that. I know that more men commit sexual crimes than women, but when it comes to the person most likely to hurt their child, people need to look in the mirror, because statistics show it is you or someone you willingly let in your home.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
While I agree that everyone should be confident in who they are and not stress about accusations, I disagree that it's not as common as we think.

I think it isn't factually as common as we think but I think some parents will take ANY opportunity to accuse someone of whatever when it suits them and/or when they are angry or upset.

We've all read about parents making crazy accusations over terminations and money issues.

So while abuse and accusation may not happen often, they are sure used alot in retaliation/anger etc .
I agree but at least if it is false it will likely go nowhere just like false accusations against us women. One can hope at least!

It is so frustrating because we need more males in caregiver roles. At least we are seeing more male nurses these days. No one bats an eyelash at that now. I think the stigma just has to be broken by more males just not giving a F&$!? And doing it anyway. Then we will all be fine with it!
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
I agree but at least if it is false it will likely go nowhere just like false accusations against us women. One can hope at least!

It is so frustrating because we need more males in caregiver roles. At least we are seeing more male nurses these days. No one bats an eyelash at that now. I think the stigma just has to be broken by more males just not giving a F&$!? And doing it anyway. Then we will all be fine with it!
I've seen 3 local child care providers close up shop. None of them willingly and 2 of them long time veterans.

Accusations are tossed out there and even if it's unfounded or proven to be false the ramifications here in the U.S aren't provider friendly at all.

Here, provider's are guilty until proven innocent and parents rarely remember anything but the accusation so the reputation of the provider is sadly never restored.

The fact that parents can actually sue for pretty much anything here makes accusations a fear for all.
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Old 05-17-2017, 09:54 AM
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FWIW~ I wish it was that easy to break the cycle.

Because the EC world is missing a lot of beneficial things.....
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Old 05-17-2017, 10:32 AM
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False accusations do happen, and sadly, much more common with men, and once accused, true or false, it does have a long term effect.

Prime example:
Years ago, a friend of my father's was dating a single mom, eventually they got married. Not long after that, his life was ruined. His step-daughter made an accusation, he got arrested, got a permanent record at Children's Aid Society, and when the step-daughter realised what was happening, she recanted. Doesn't matter. He was in jail for a short time, got beaten badly, got released, BUT, CAS still says he can't have anything to do with kids. Wife and step-daughter both wanted him to come back home. CAS says NO. If mother lets him back in, they take the girl.

I don't know if a false accusation in the US can do as much damage, probably state by state, but her in Ontario, a false accusation and you're life is never the same.
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Old 05-17-2017, 11:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I've seen 3 local child care providers close up shop. None of them willingly and 2 of them long time veterans.

Accusations are tossed out there and even if it's unfounded or proven to be false the ramifications here in the U.S aren't provider friendly at all.

Here, provider's are guilty until proven innocent and parents rarely remember anything but the accusation so the reputation of the provider is sadly never restored.


The fact that parents can actually sue for pretty much anything here makes accusations a fear for all.
YES! There is a discussion on a FB provider page and I cannot stress enough how serious it is to the OP. A mother is making comments about abuse and the provider not feeding her child and she STILL has this kid in care. Others are saying that she should do the same back tot he mom (make coments about mom abusing or neglecting him) and I am like NO!!! Do not play that game! It is not a joke and the provider is the one with the most to lose so it is far to risky to mess around with those types of accusations. This is one of the issues in childcare that is not grey to me. Friend, relative, total stranger...you even joke about me intentionally hurting your child in any way and you will not step foot back in my home. This sort of crap destroys really good providers AND their families. It is not funny or something to be taken lightly.
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Old 05-17-2017, 01:38 PM
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Unfortunately, the fact is that men are STATISTICALLY more likely to molest a child than women are.

I don't think this means that men shouldn't do daycare, but it does mean that some people may be more cautious and it could be more difficult to get clients. Especially for kids that still need help toileting or are in diapers.

I'd send my kid to a "daddy daycare" though (if we needed one) because her dad isn't around much and it would really benefit her to have that male influence.
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Old 05-17-2017, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
YES! There is a discussion on a FB provider page and I cannot stress enough how serious it is to the OP. A mother is making comments about abuse and the provider not feeding her child and she STILL has this kid in care. Others are saying that she should do the same back tot he mom (make coments about mom abusing or neglecting him) and I am like NO!!! Do not play that game! It is not a joke and the provider is the one with the most to lose so it is far to risky to mess around with those types of accusations. This is one of the issues in childcare that is not grey to me. Friend, relative, total stranger...you even joke about me intentionally hurting your child in any way and you will not step foot back in my home. This sort of crap destroys really good providers AND their families. It is not funny or something to be taken lightly.
THAT is definitely what I will be doing. Better to be safe than sorry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hwichlaz View Post
Unfortunately, the fact is that men are STATISTICALLY more likely to molest a child than women are.

I don't think this means that men shouldn't do daycare, but it does mean that some people may be more cautious and it could be more difficult to get clients. Especially for kids that still need help toileting or are in diapers.

I'd send my kid to a "daddy daycare" though (if we needed one) because her dad isn't around much and it would really benefit her to have that male influence.
No matter how common male daycare gets, that will always be a fact to consider. Just means we have to fight harder.
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Old 05-17-2017, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hwichlaz View Post
Unfortunately, the fact is that men are STATISTICALLY more likely to molest a child than women are.

I don't think this means that men shouldn't do daycare, but it does mean that some people may be more cautious and it could be more difficult to get clients. Especially for kids that still need help toileting or are in diapers.

I'd send my kid to a "daddy daycare" though (if we needed one) because her dad isn't around much and it would really benefit her to have that male influence.
If you check statistics on male providers, there is very little to support tje fear. Most abusers are related or invited into the home by the mother.
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Old 05-17-2017, 03:50 PM
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I know that more men commit sexual crimes than women, but when it comes to the person most likely to hurt their child, people need to look in the mirror, because statistics show it is you or someone you willingly let in your home.
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Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
If you check statistics on male providers, there is very little to support tje fear. Most abusers are related or invited into the home by the mother.

It's true. There's too much focus on stranger danger. 90% of the abusers are family and friends of family, people the child knows.
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Old 05-18-2017, 09:55 AM
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My wife has had a daycare for over 30 years, in 2005 I became disabled so not working she got oked for 14 kids. I could not take the kids when I was working on my days off. It drove me nuts. Then I stayed home and said why didn't I do this before. I got attached to quite a few of the kids over time some times I got tears when they moved on to school. The kids would fight to get to sit with me and they listen to me better than my wife at times. There are a lot of men working with there wife's in the county, i don't do diapers for the only reason I don't want the kids to say something that doesent sound right. But every thing else works. Love the kids
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Old 05-18-2017, 11:10 AM
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Wage??? What wage, my wife doesent pay me.!!! I tell you I was a plant manager for 29 years the fighting and whining I got with the adults that worked with for me was far worse than the kids we watch. My wife has kids of the kids she watched years ago. I do worry sometimes as a ll the kids talk about is papa it's all good . My wife had he hip replaced and we didn't close I said I couldn't do it on my own. She proved me wrong and for 6 weeks I did it. There was a couple in the county that the wife passed and the guy continued and everyone loved him. So it can be done.
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Old 05-18-2017, 06:59 PM
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If you check statistics on male providers, there is very little to support tje fear. Most abusers are related or invited into the home by the mother.
I had heard that the majority of abusers are "known to the child". I had also heard that many abusers go into positions of power where they will have access to children. So although it could be mostly family members or moms new boyfriend, it is also likely to be a caregiver, teacher or coach.
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Old 05-18-2017, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
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I had heard that the majority of abusers are "known to the child". I had also heard that many abusers go into positions of power where they will have access to children. So although it could be mostly family members or moms new boyfriend, it is also likely to be a caregiver, teacher or coach.
I do not disagree. However, teachers and coaches are far less likely to be prejudged as a possible offender. I am not sure if that is bc people think more highly of them or maybe they think they will be monitored more closely?? Not sure, but imo, a male dc provider gets the short end of the stick and in more cases then not, it is not warrented. My father was an integral part of my mother's dc program. I cant imagine someone thinking he could harm a child
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Old 05-18-2017, 11:10 PM
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Many offenders do go into a profession where they will have access to kids, whether it's a job or short term volunteer position.

There probably is less prejudging when it involves "more professional" positions, because they are usually more closely monitored, or less often alone with a child, but the risk is still there.
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