View Full Version : Tantrums? (sorry...long)

Hunni Bee
07-16-2011, 07:43 PM
I have a dcb who will be 4 in Sept. He's been having these awful tantrums daily for the past 3 or 4 weeks. He's always been a crier, and one who has to have his way, but lately its gotten worse. He yells, jumps up and down, kicks and throws things, and demands his way. These episodes usually last about 10 minutes and may happen 4-5 times in a day.

His first one is usually in the morning...the way our center is set up, the kids arrive and eat breakfast school-cafeteria style and then proceed to their classrooms after breakfast. He demands to be the line-leader everyday. He gets do it about once a week. When I tell him its someone's elses turn, he starts pushing and yelling "Go! Go!!" at whoever's the line leader. So he has to come out and hold my hand, which starts the tantrum. Then when we get close the classroom, he starts running and trying to pull away so he can be the first one in the room. (Im right behind them btw) When somebody else gets there first (and gets to turn on the light) he's in full tantrum mode.

Then the morning goes downhill from there...its he can't get the shoes he wants in dress-up, he wants to be first on the computer, he wants to dominate other kids' play, he wants to hog the favorite bike....or God forbid, he gets a time-out. I don't punish him for the tantrums, I just separate him. Which makes him angrier, but keeps him from hurting the other kids and keeps me from having a snot-covered 3-year-old scream demands in my face. I allow him to come back as soon as he calms down, which usually takes 2 or 3 times of me taking him back. But 20 mins later its the same thing...so it really isn't working.

It's not like I'm at my wits end with it, and the other kids mostly ignore him, but it does take up a lot of his and my time. Any suggestions?

Kaddidle Care
07-17-2011, 07:09 AM
What has Mom said about this?

Only the ones that do what they're told get to be line leaders in my group. We do have a back of the line leader too to help alleviate a lot of that "Me First" nonsense. Back of the line leader gets to turn out the lights when we leave the room or help carry something. They all love to help.

You need to catch this little boy doing something good and reward him highly so that the light bulb goes on.

3 is a tough age - it's worse than 2 in my book.

I'm sure others more experienced will chime in. Just getting this back up to the top for you. ;)

Hunni Bee
07-17-2011, 03:16 PM
Raised by grandma, along with 4 siblings. Not the best situation. The grandma is overtaxed, and has basically said do whatever is required to get him to behave (but don't call her).

And he gets to help, often. Its just that he wants to be able to do everything all time, and be first all the time, and get whatever toys/materials he wants right then, etc. and can't handle it when he can't.

07-17-2011, 03:52 PM
Where is he in order of the siblings?

07-17-2011, 03:55 PM
it is going to take a long time before the boy realizes that at day care he does not always get his way. Every time someone at day care "gives in" or even what appears to the boy to be giving in, it will take even longer. Good luck and just remember he is the child you are the adult you can and will "win." Raised/raising a very strong willed child it will get easier.

Hunni Bee
07-17-2011, 04:02 PM
Where is he in order of the siblings?

He's fourth. They're 8, 6, 5, 3 and 2. Stair-steps. But he and the littlest sister are babied by the older ones.