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08-17-2011 03:16 AM
eleanor123 Thanks for sharing the information it is very nice information shared and would be very helpful for all the parents and could be a very good guide for the parents and would help them to take better care of their children and maintain a better relation ship with the children.
07-11-2011 08:49 AM
Unregistered What was the outcome of this??
08-02-2010 11:40 PM
Unregistered *Why wasn't anyone (parental wise) notified about it?!!!!!!! If they can call because he hit or bit someone, or someone hit or bit him; why can't they call to say that a child bit my son ON his private area? I know they have at least 5 number in his file to call someone! I know they didn't call my husband, he would have went crazy finding something out like this.
*Why did the teacher say "and then later they bit each other"...Is she hiding something?
*Is she even certified to be working there?
*Was their signs that I should have looked out for?
*What are my rights and can I do?-Honestly, I feel like going up there in the morning as soon as they open, at 6am, and going [/quote]


I know what you are going through, my situation isn't quite so bad but similar, I was at one DC until today for only three weeks and she came home with five bites and two large bruises between her legs. Every state has a day care licensing agency also with situations like yours I would call child protective services, those are at least two options for you. Best of luck to you and yours j hope the situation has been remedied
03-16-2010 12:47 PM
Janet I would pull him ASAP. I worked in a center where an incident involving sexual experimentation took place. It wasn't in my class, I was the toddler lead teacher. This happened in the preschool class. The problem was an ongoing one and the little girl wouldn't tell anyone what was happening. I doubt that she would have told anyone if I hadn't caught her and the little boy under a table getting ready to drop their pants and show their "butts" to each other. The other child involved was the same age as she was and they were both in the preschool/pre-k class. I just happened to be getting ready to go to lunch and I was passing the classroom and my gut told me to stop and take a quick peak in the room. The first thing I saw was the 2 kids under the table. I calmly asked them both to join me out in the hallway. The second thing I noticed is that there were no teachers in the classroom. I was like WTF!!! It was naptime and the teacher was in the director's office, just chatting and laughing (they are friends outside of work). The preschool class and the pre-k classes nap together so at any given time there would be at least 14 kids in the room with no supervision! I talked to the kids in the hall and we talked about keeping our hands to ourselves and keeping our clothes covering our bodies. I didn't want to freak out and yell at them because it wasn't their fault. They were just doing what curious kids do. I then sent them into the infant room because there were 2 teachers in there at the time and I went into the director's office and told her what happened. I took it very seriously and she shrugged it off. I was told not to tell anyone else what happened. I know that she just wanted to act like it didn't happen and I wasn't cool with that. I told the parents of the little girl and the little boy what happened and I told them that I would give them a written statement or anything else that they needed. The center got sued but I quit shortly after the naptime incident. Sorry to be so long winded but the gist is that your son's center sounds like they were intentionally trying to snow you. Bites like that are a big deal! Not just because it's a bite, but because of where the bite is. The little girl at the center that I worked at is in counseling on a regular basis and has horrible nightmares and lots of behavior issues. It's been about 4 years since it happened. Her mom told me about all of the other stuff that happened with her daughter and the little boy and I was horrified! She never blamed the other little boy or his parents. She put the blame where it belonged: on the daycare director and the teacher who was supposed to be in there for naptime. Sometimes daycare teachers and assistants think that it is OK to leave the class at naptime because they are sleeping, and they think that as long as they are in the building, that they are not out of ratio. Bullcrap. I have a home daycare and even when my kids are sleeping, I still always keep them where I can see them. It seems to me that a lot of centers will do whatever it takes to have their employees work as few hours as possible. They will send out most of their staff for lunch during naptime because they figure that the kids are sleeeping anyway, and if there is a problem, the director can always come in to cover, which at my center, she never did! Also, I think that sometimes when the teachers are friends with each other, they get a little too wrapped up in conversation with each other, and the kids get into tons of trouble! It was so bad that I started to clock out for my lunch but still be in a classroom during that time so that I could see for myself that everything was OK. Sorry this was so long, but I just wanted to chime in. I think that your son needs to be in a place that is going to be more closely monitored. OK, I can see bites happening. They happen no matter where you go at some point, but a bite on the penis? That's just insanity! There is no good explanation for that happening and it's even worse that they didn't call you immediately to let you know exactly what happened. If I were you, I would show the daycare director the pictures that you took and I would find a new daycare. I'm sorry that this is happening to your little guy and to your family, but honestly, if his center can't be truthful about something like that happening, how can you have faith that they won't let it happen again. Good luck.
03-13-2010 12:11 PM
Persephone I'm still waiting to hear back on this one!
03-13-2010 11:34 AM
missnikki
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBug View Post
I'm not sure what to say on this one. As a mom, I'm horrified. As a daycare provider, I'm still really horrified. If this had happened to one of my sons, I would take them out immediately. If this happened in my daycare, I would have a VERY difficult time opening the next day.

I'm experienced with the normal "playing doctor" and the experimenting that goes on between curious kids. While it's completely inappropriate, I don't think it's cause for concern. But I'm surprised that no one has mentioned much about the place this child was bitten, and what the other child would have had to have been doing to bite him there. I would be very concerned as to that child's home life, and whether there is either some kind of sexual abuse or other inappropriate behaviour going on at home (adult movies, perhaps?).

I really feel for you, and I know how crazy angry I'd be if something like this happened. Do your best to maintain your composure, but don't be afraid to let them know how mad you are! Let us know how it goes!
I completely agree. Word for word, in fact.
03-12-2010 07:41 PM
DBug I'm not sure what to say on this one. As a mom, I'm horrified. As a daycare provider, I'm still really horrified. If this had happened to one of my sons, I would take them out immediately. If this happened in my daycare, I would have a VERY difficult time opening the next day.

I'm experienced with the normal "playing doctor" and the experimenting that goes on between curious kids. While it's completely inappropriate, I don't think it's cause for concern. But I'm surprised that no one has mentioned much about the place this child was bitten, and what the other child would have had to have been doing to bite him there. I would be very concerned as to that child's home life, and whether there is either some kind of sexual abuse or other inappropriate behaviour going on at home (adult movies, perhaps?).

I really feel for you, and I know how crazy angry I'd be if something like this happened. Do your best to maintain your composure, but don't be afraid to let them know how mad you are! Let us know how it goes!
03-12-2010 03:44 PM
Crystal Personally, I would be having a very frank discussion with the Director. I would be very concerned about the turnover rate.....yes, turnover CAN be high in this field, BUT, a quality program that values their teachers and treats them fairly and respectfully should not be experiencing that much turnover. I would also be asking about their philosophy regarding continuity of care...your child should not be moved so much, and teachers should be able to stay with their group for as long as possible.

Of course, we all know stuff happens, and 2-3 year olds can be quick to hit/bite/ etc. BUT, it sounds like a common thing there.....what is the level of tension like in the classroom....is the environment overwhelming, with bright lights/colors, loud music or screaming/yelling children-as if there is no "control" in the sense that children are being provided with enough engaging activity, etc. to prevent boredom and chaos? How does the teacher respond to children...is she irritable and cranky, or loving and nurturing?

I would also be doing some unannounced visits. Drop in at various times of the day without letting them know you will be coming....what's happening when you arrive? I know it is hard to take off work to do that, but it's your child's safety and well-being at stake, you need to make the time, or find someone (like your sister) who can do it for you....and that goes for ANY program your child is in....you should do at least one or two unannounced visits just to make sure.

And, YES, I would contact licensing. There seems to be far to many incidents taking place and licensing will look into it to make sure that ALL of the children are safe.
03-12-2010 06:56 AM
Persephone
Quote:
Originally Posted by tymaboy View Post
I think I would have ran him to the Dr. My DS is now in high school & last year he got bit on the shoulder (some stupid game going on) They told me that a persons mouth carries more germs then any other thing & if an infection sets in the person could actualy loose a limb. I bet the Dr. office would also be asking alot of questions what is going on there at the DC. I myself do not tolerate biting. Sounds like you should be looking for another DC. Ask people that you work with to find someplace better for your son.
I agree. We had a doctor family at the daycare and once one their children got and they flipped out saying how dirty a human mouth was. Their skin was not broke and they started an RX on them.
03-12-2010 06:52 AM
tymaboy I think I would have ran him to the Dr. My DS is now in high school & last year he got bit on the shoulder (some stupid game going on) They told me that a persons mouth carries more germs then any other thing & if an infection sets in the person could actualy loose a limb. I bet the Dr. office would also be asking alot of questions what is going on there at the DC. I myself do not tolerate biting. Sounds like you should be looking for another DC. Ask people that you work with to find someplace better for your son.
03-12-2010 06:52 AM
Persephone I'm shocked also that the other child would bite him there.

I worked in a center, so I understand the goings on.

Turn over is very high at daycares. And I know that most of the time it just happens, we didn't send notes home all the time about it, or we would be sending notes all the time and parents would get sick of it. I think since she was telling you about it was great. At least you knew.

3 year old rooms are rough. The kids have more freedom. I'm sure the teacher has her number of kids and she is not able to go in the bathroom every time someone has to go. And you can't just call someone else in while you take care of someone in the bathroom, because they have their numbers too. We would call someone to stand in our door way if we really needed to take care of something that we knew would take too long, that way they could watch both rooms, but that doesn't help too much.

I caught a few different kids over my 13 years in a center, looking at privates. We would normally telling the parents about it so they could talk to them that we don't do that.

As far are the biting on the privates, I really think they should have called about that. Clearly she knew since she said something. Ice/cold pack should have been put on it right away. Which in case, I would have called a parent since I would not have wanted to hold that there.

I might call the pedi and ask to have him seen and make sure it's okay. Was the skin broken anywhere? He might need an RX to make sure he doesn't get an infection.

I don't think there is anything that can be done. But I would put in your notice...if you have somewhere else to take him starting Monday, I would and if the other daycare has a 2 week notice with pay, I'd make a fit and tell them that you were not going to pay she your child was in danger!
03-12-2010 05:19 AM
melskids i'm sorry you are going through this.....

first off, as a provider, i can tell you that no matter how well you watch the children, they are fast, and a lot can happen when you turn your back just for a second. so i can understand one child biting another. i can also understand why they would pull down their pants and show each other their privates. kids are very curious at that age, believe me. it does concern me a bit as to why he chose to bite your son on his "pee pee". he may be just curious as to what would happen if he did it, or it may be something more.

as a parent, of course i would be livid. yes because it happened, but more so because of the way it was handled. they should have notified you immediately, especially if the skin is broken. that is obviously a sensitive area, and it must have pained him quite a bit. was an incident report filled out for you (or your sister) to sign at pick up? was it documented at all?

i would definetly have a meeting with the director. discuss your concerns with her and find out what she is going to do to make sure this doesnt happen again, or at least make sure a situation like this will be handled appropriatley in the future. i would try to stay calm and professional (as hard as that is a protective mommy for all of us) because going in and ripping her head off (which i would want to do...lol) is only going to make her defensive. if you don't get the answers you want, or you feel she is not being honest, maybe it is time to look for alternate care.

good luck !!
03-12-2010 01:56 AM
Jonathan I am a parent of two children. Sorry to hear about your son's injury. Kids being curious are one thing but what comes to mind is why they were not being watched for them to get that far is troublesome. Two year olds need to be looked after since they can get into trouble pretty quickly. I know my son at that age was always running around and I had to keep a constant eye on him. I would have a talk with the director and let them know it is not acceptable. Also, you might think of taking your child to his pediatrician in case of infection. Filing a complaint at this stage does not seem appropriate but I would put the DC on notice. I also wonder if their ratios are within your state's standards. Good Luck!
03-11-2010 11:53 PM
relamas My two year old has been going to a certain daycare since November, lets call that daycare "Tots-Play". Since he is two he was put into the 2 year old class, which I was fine with. I don't know if it was the teacher or maybe the other children...but he came home crying every day and did not want to go back. I talked to the owner and he said that he would move my son up to the next classroom, because he feels that my son is not being challenged enough and gets bored, that's why he cries. My son wasn't potty trained yet so we had to work on that, in the 3 year old room the kids are potty trained. So, we've been working on that and my son is doing wonderful! He even sleeps with "big boy underwear" on at night with no accidents. The teacher that was in his new class was a girl that I went to school with so everything was fine, I had no problems from the DD and would recommend it to anyone looking in the area. I had no complaints, and he was very happy to go back to see Ms. Jessika. I was informed by the teacher (Ms. Jesskia) that they were getting a new afternoon teacher, which was okay stuff happens (and I know how turn around rates are). My son started hitting but very little. I never found out why it happened,...but when he would tell me that someone hit him "Chase hit me with a block in my head" the teacher (afternoon teacher) knew nothing about it. The DC began to tell me more frequently that he was hitting and bitting, they were even calling home about it like he was in regular school (I didn't mind that, if he gets in trouble then he needs to be disciplined correctly). I never got to meet her (I don't pick my child up from daycare my sister does because of work schedule), a while later Ms. Jesskia told me again that they were getting a new afternoon teacher. I began to wonder....and then a little while later down the line she said that she was being moved to the 4 year old room and that someone was replacing her. There was never a note sent out or nothing, it was just a mention.

The next morning when I take my son to school I met the new teacher. I wasn't too fond of her. She seemed very young (not that young people are bad, I'm 21) and unknowing. I had dropped him off that whole week and every time I seen her she was different than all the other teachers that were there (everyone, even teachers that aren't in your child's class or in direct contact with them, know you by name and say hi and bye everyday) sorta of in a rude manner. She didn't seem like she wanted to be there, like it was just a paycheck. I let a few more days go by, figuring that I am over reacting and she just needs to get used to everything and everyone.

Today, I picked my son up from my sister and she said that he got in trouble and got sent to the office. Okay... She said that the teacher asked if anyone from the DC had called about my son. She said no, because they didn't call her. She went on saying that my son and another male kid pulled their pants down and were showing each other their private areas. And that they bit each other. On the car ride home, I asked my son what happened and all he said do was make a sad face and say "Because"...We get home and its bath time and I pull down his pants to give him a bath and the bit mark is on his private spot! He said, "he bite my peepee mommy". I didn't know what to think, when I was told biting I figured on the arm or something. I immediately, looked at it and it was obvious that it was bit marks. Not quick, harmless marks...hard marks-breaking the skin. I called my sister and asked what the DC said (I was pretty furious by this time). My sister said that the teacher just asked "if someone called home and that my son, along with another boy, pulled his pants down...and then later they bit each other." I told her tell me exactly what she said word for word because this is serious! She said that the teacher said that she was in the bathroom (they have bathrooms in each classroom) cleaning up from when a child went to the restroom and made a mess, and she looked around and that's what they were doing and she ran to them. "They had their pants down, and later they had bitten each other"; who really knows what happened. (BTW: I am unsure the other child was bit as well. But that's another thing....gone long enough for 2 kids to show what they have and bite each other on it...?)

I ended up giving up on bathing that spot because he cried every time I went near it. I washed everything else, and just made him stay in the water for a little while. I took a picture of it on my phone. I know what your thinking, "how gross!" But I might need evidence....right?

It being after DC hours when I seen the markings, and after DC hours when I picked him up, there was nothing I can do right then...or at least I think.

I am very mad right now at the teacher and in some parts to the DC. I have a lot of questions running through my head right now...:
*Why weren't all of the children being watched?-instead of just the one that needed to be cleaned up after, she could have called someone in to look after other kids while she took care of the mess, or visa versa.
*Why was the teacher away for so long, without any supervision of the kids, for two boys to pull down their pants, show each other their private areas, and get bitten on it?!
*Where and why did this begin?-I know my two year old knows nothing of the nature, he is barely learning what it is and what it does.
*Did someone tell them or show them how to do this at the DC?-Two year olds don't know how to lie and you shouldn't except an answer like "because" out of them. What made them think of this or even to bit each other on their private areas!
*Why wasn't anyone (parental wise) notified about it?!!!!!!! If they can call because he hit or bit someone, or someone hit or bit him; why can't they call to say that a child bit my son ON his private area? I know they have at least 5 number in his file to call someone! I know they didn't call my husband, he would have went crazy finding something out like this.
*Why did the teacher say "and then later they bit each other"...Is she hiding something?
*Is she even certified to be working there?
*Was their signs that I should have looked out for?
*What are my rights and can I do?-Honestly, I feel like going up there in the morning as soon as they open, at 6am, and going off!

My son shouldn't have to cry because his private areas hurt. I pay this DC for them to watch, and take care of my son while I am away; they did the exact opposite. If I wanted that I would have left him at home without supervision, with the dogs.

So now my son wakes up crying every 30-40 minutes....saying "my bobo hurts, my peepee". You can tell he is definitely uncomfortable. This is EFFING RIDICULOUS!!!! (excuse my language)

I would like to know what I need to do, or can do...legally; because I'm about to going 'crazy mom' and 'flip a wig' on the DC. This issue is, and will not, go unresolved.

Thanks for reading!

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