Daycare.com Forum Force of Nature Disinfectant

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum > Termination Gone Wrong

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Thread: Termination Gone Wrong Reply to Thread
Your Username: Click here to log in
Random Question
Title:
  
Message:
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:
 

Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

Topic Review (Newest First)
03-11-2015 02:09 PM
Unregistered If you are truly looking for constructive criticism it is this: Your original letter was reasonable and professional. BUT THEN. You took the bait thrown at you by an emotional and embarrassed parent who was lashing out and that made things worse. In the future, remember that NO ONE is going to handle being told their child is terminated as gracefully as you'd like, cut them some slack and just wash your hands and walk away. You don't deserve to be treated unkindly, but you opened yourself up to continued attack by going back and forth with her when she responded. She agreed to drop off the money, that is what you asked her to do. You should have said, "Thank you." and never heard from her again.
10-08-2013 11:37 AM
Angelsj
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I'll make it easy for anyone who is wondering....

I AM in this for the money.

Plain and simple.

The other stuff that comes with this job are just perks.
Exactly. I love that we were compared to doctors.
10-08-2013 11:28 AM
Blackcat31 I'll make it easy for anyone who is wondering....

I AM in this for the money.

Plain and simple.

The other stuff that comes with this job are just perks.
10-08-2013 11:21 AM
mom2many
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
I am sorry, but as a Mother I find it sad that you believe a daycare provider should not work for money.

You leave your child in daycare to work for money. Hypocrite much?


Love my "job"! It's called that though, because I do it to earn a living at it and yes, I wouldn't do it for free!

It's hard work...some days more than others! I'm thankful that I have a job that I've enjoyed and find fulfilling for these past 27 years!
10-08-2013 11:14 AM
Cat Herder
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Im sorry, but as a mother, all Im seeing you ladies talk about on here is dollar signs...Just as in Doctors, its all about the money, since when did actually enjoying and taking care of children because you want to, and get the benefits of it turn to dollar signs.... Pretty fricken SAD! Hence why my child was pulled from an in-home DayCare... You talking about not getting anything from it??? How sad for your families you take care of...
Enjoy your career Ladies..........
I am sorry, but as a Mother I find it sad that you believe a daycare provider should not work for money.

Spoiler Alert: You leave your child in daycare to work for money. Hypocrite much?
10-08-2013 11:00 AM
SSWonders And as usual I didn't look at the older dates in the original posting. One of these days I will get used to that.
10-08-2013 10:55 AM
SSWonders
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msdunny View Post
Oh heck no!! Ain't nobody got time for that!!
NO WAY! That has got to be the most childish thing I've ever seen a parent do. Do they have any idea how ridiculous they look? It's clear that you will be much better off without the stress of this family.
10-08-2013 10:53 AM
daycarediva
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Im sorry, but as a mother, all Im seeing you ladies talk about on here is dollar signs...Just as in Doctors, its all about the money, since when did actually enjoying and taking care of children because you want to, and get the benefits of it turn to dollar signs.... Pretty fricken SAD! Hence why my child was pulled from an in-home DayCare... You talking about not getting anything from it??? How sad for your families you take care of...
Enjoy your career Ladies..........
I do enjoy caring for children, I do enjoy my career, and I do enjoy being paid for my 65+ hour work week, having a degree in the field, and investing a very large amount of time/money into my home day care.

I could not, would not, do this simply because I enjoy it. It is a HARD job, one that I wouldn't do without financial incentive, and one that has numerous non-financial rewards.
10-08-2013 10:47 AM
Leigh
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Im sorry, but as a mother, all Im seeing you ladies talk about on here is dollar signs...Just as in Doctors, its all about the money, since when did actually enjoying and taking care of children because you want to, and get the benefits of it turn to dollar signs.... Pretty fricken SAD! Hence why my child was pulled from an in-home DayCare... You talking about not getting anything from it??? How sad for your families you take care of...
Enjoy your career Ladies..........

I realize that this is a years old thread, however, to the person that posted this quote above: Would YOU work for free? It is most certainly NOT for the money that **I** do this, but for the opportunity to spend my days with laughing children. However, I do not and will not work for free...my mortgage is due every month, and so is the payment from the daycare parents. There is no excuse AT ALL to use my services and not pay for it. Period.

I don't speak for all of us, but I took a HUGE paycut (60%) to quit my job and open a daycare. I did this because it makes me happy, and it is good for my family. Money is MORE important now than before because I make so little of it (about 30% of what I make pre-tax goes into caring for these kids).

Exactly what ARE you implying here? That we should take care of strangers' kids for free because we have nothing better to do, or because a parent gets mad at us and doesn't WANT to pay? I am held to the contracts that I sign, and I will hold my clients to the same standards without ever apologizing for it.
10-08-2013 10:34 AM
blandino
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Im sorry, but as a mother, all Im seeing you ladies talk about on here is dollar signs...Just as in Doctors, its all about the money, since when did actually enjoying and taking care of children because you want to, and get the benefits of it turn to dollar signs.... Pretty fricken SAD! Hence why my child was pulled from an in-home DayCare... You talking about not getting anything from it??? How sad for your families you take care of...
Enjoy your career Ladies..........
We run small businesses, you have to consider the "dollar signs". I love my job, but I think you can ask anyone who has done this job if they would do it just for the enjoyment and you wouldn't find a single person to tell you yes. It is a hard job where we work long hours, and shouldn't be criticized for the thinking of the income that comes from running a small business.

As for you pulling your daughter from a home daycare, do you think the girls at a center are doing it for the enjoyment or the pay ?

Like any job, we do it for the income. But I don't think a single person could make it a week in this profession if they didn't also LOvE taking care of children.
10-08-2013 10:26 AM
Unregistered
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
The obvious difference is that each wal mart customer doesn't contribute to a large percentage of their total revenue. The reason day care parents in home day care have so much power is that their payment covers a large percentage of the business income.

Parents who have their kids in Centers don't have that much power. If they pull out the Center looses one percent or so depending on the size. In home day care it can be 15-25 percent for the average home day care. This is the dynamic that makes the relationship so unique.

My comparison is that we don't have to explain to parents WHY we don't offer a service they want. In the situation of the OP there wasn't any reason at all to be that specific with the parents. The parents wanted drop in care, control over the child's schedule whenever he DID show up, and only pay for whatever days they decided to bring him. Those are services very few providers offer. It's even more rare with successful providers because there is no money in it and the amount of work involved for the money you do get is not worth the effort. Loose loose for the provider. Win win for the parents... until the provider discontinues the service. Once that happens... well see above.

All the provider had to do was notify the parents that she doesn't provide the service anymore and she is giving them two weeks to make other arrangements. During that two week time the parents would need to provide a SET schedule and pay in advance on pay day for the set schedule. If the parents asks what services the provider DOES provide she can firmly say "full time slots only with set schedules (arrival and departure time) and the child maintain the same schedule as the other children". That's what I now offer. Want it?

End of story. If the parents gets upset (which they will when they are getting THIS big of a NO) then the solution is always just discontinue services without payment and we will all be square.

If you read the Mom's emails she said everything in one sentence "I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. BAM that's the money shot. She wants the provider to do what she wants her to do "for the sake of the child" but not for the sake of money, good working conditions, a happy provider, a stable group, etc. When you have parents talking about "flexibility" you might as well bend over because flexibility almost ALWAYS means that they do what they want and you get paid either a regular amount that you would normally get daily for a regular kid or even less.

If you are going to be FLEXIBLE then you must have a markedly higher daily rate for flexibility. Flexible for the sake of the child means the parents get cheap drop in day care whenever they want and just pay for those days. Flexibility for the "sake of the child" means you do as you are told.

Nan
Im sorry, but as a mother, all Im seeing you ladies talk about on here is dollar signs...Just as in Doctors, its all about the money, since when did actually enjoying and taking care of children because you want to, and get the benefits of it turn to dollar signs.... Pretty fricken SAD! Hence why my child was pulled from an in-home DayCare... You talking about not getting anything from it??? How sad for your families you take care of...
Enjoy your career Ladies..........
05-12-2013 09:41 AM
Blackcat31
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
If you click on the threads button it will sort by highest view count. Get past the stickies and then you can see the threads that were very popular. There's an awesome one called Holy $hit shortest enrollment ever. That was pot o gold
When ever I am bored I will go back and search that way to find some interesting reads. Even the ones I've read before always teach me something.
05-12-2013 09:11 AM
nannyde
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
If you click on the threads button it will sort by highest view count. Get past the stickies and then you can see the threads that were very popular. There's an awesome one called Holy $hit shortest enrollment ever. That was pot o gold
05-12-2013 08:21 AM
Blackcat31
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse View Post
I have not read the Joann's or the sprinkler threads! Links?
Joann's Fabric thread http://daycare.com/forum/showthread....ann%27s+Fabric

Sprinkler thread: http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthr...hlight=nannyde
05-12-2013 06:33 AM
MrsSteinel'sHouse I have not read the Joann's or the sprinkler threads! Links?
05-12-2013 06:24 AM
nannyde We should have a sticky for the best of the best threads ever on DAYCARE.com

This is one of the top ten. I loved the joann fabric thread and the sprinkler thread too

I dont live the four year old nap thread or the buy sell daycare one but they have a zillion views
05-11-2013 09:23 PM
littlemissmuffet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow View Post
Wondering if the OP is around.....and if the above is the former disgruntled client who STILL couldn't let go of what happened and that's why they felt the need to drag this back up


Seriously.....it's all about the poor parents being left in a bind? Get real. What about the provider left in a bind when their child is dropped off at unpredictable hours miserable and screaming through the day because they're never cared for properly at home. That doesn't leave them and every single other child in their care in a bind AT - ALL does is now....
05-11-2013 06:34 AM
KnoxMom
Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
it would be reeeeally hard not to say anything to her. i'd be so tempted to send her an email, but - knowing that's exactly what she wants/expects would be enough to keep me from doing it.

she's probably checking her inbox 10 times a day just to see how bad she ticked you off. i wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
This exactly! It's going to drive her crazy that she isn't getting to you. She wants the reaction. Also, because she is pregnant, part of it if probably fueled by the hormones making her go into hyper-emotional-drive. I'm glad that you have the support of all of us in this forum and take the high road. The worst thing you can do is feed into her negativity and give her more to talk about. While we are all joking, make sure to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! Save and print everything because she has proven herself capable of taking this thing to another level. Way to go on maintaing your professionalism and chalk it up as a lesson learned. Hugs Hun
05-10-2013 10:40 PM
Sunshine74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama2Bella View Post
. I was always curious if there was, in fact, $30 in there : )
Well now I am curious too. And I wonder if OP found any valuable pennies?
05-10-2013 09:47 PM
TheGoodLife
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
Oh my, I remember this thread!!!!

What a GREAT thread. It made me happy to read it again. Happy provider appreciation day!!!!
. I was always curious if there was, in fact, $30 in there : )
05-10-2013 07:18 PM
MarinaVanessa Oh my, I remember this thread!!!!

What a GREAT thread. It made me happy to read it again. Happy provider appreciation day!!!!
05-10-2013 05:12 PM
countrymom I just showed dh, he was laughing so where my kids. He did like the rare penny idea.
05-10-2013 05:06 PM
daycare wow that takes the cake....I have never seen this thread before...I am jaw dropped that someone would really drop off a bag of pennies of their payment.........................

makes any of the clients I have ever done business with perfect little angles...lol
05-10-2013 04:49 PM
Clara This is a GREAT thread ....it stirs emotions from to I'm laughing so hard I cried...
Thanks Guys
03-06-2013 11:06 AM
Msdunny
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



Uploaded with ImageShack.us
Oh heck no!! Ain't nobody got time for that!!
03-06-2013 10:51 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
Marinara and Nan, your both inside my head and making me laugh. I am glad I don't do a lot of the stuff I think!!! Sassy one I am
03-06-2013 10:47 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Oh wow. Definitely a bully move.

Don't take it hard. She just has "last worditis". She THINKS she had the last word but really you did. She's been abusing your kindness and good will for so long and YOU said "no more". That, my friend, was the LAST word.

Get the pennies to a sorter as soon as you can.. take the money and do something really nice for your family. Don't be upset if it is short. It most likely is. She probably just dumped her change piggy bank into a ziploc so it's probably not the amount it should be. Whatever the amount just use it for something really nice for your kids and yourself and then don't give her another moments thought. Have a double dip chocolate twist cone and think of all of us who were here to help you thru it.

Ya gotta remember that EVERY business has freak customers. We aren't immune to that. You don't get to bypass that segment of the human population. Just because someone has a kid doesn't make them intrinsically a good person. Many a jerk is a parent.

Big hugs to you. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me thru this site and I will send you my phone number. Good luck and shake it off mate.


Fortune cookie- Many a jerk is a parent.
03-06-2013 10:43 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



Uploaded with ImageShack.us
wow, she just had to have the last word...... be done with it. I wouldn't respond to that- and if I did it wouldn't be nice
03-06-2013 10:37 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
The obvious difference is that each wal mart customer doesn't contribute to a large percentage of their total revenue. The reason day care parents in home day care have so much power is that their payment covers a large percentage of the business income.

Parents who have their kids in Centers don't have that much power. If they pull out the Center looses one percent or so depending on the size. In home day care it can be 15-25 percent for the average home day care. This is the dynamic that makes the relationship so unique.

My comparison is that we don't have to explain to parents WHY we don't offer a service they want. In the situation of the OP there wasn't any reason at all to be that specific with the parents. The parents wanted drop in care, control over the child's schedule whenever he DID show up, and only pay for whatever days they decided to bring him. Those are services very few providers offer. It's even more rare with successful providers because there is no money in it and the amount of work involved for the money you do get is not worth the effort. Loose loose for the provider. Win win for the parents... until the provider discontinues the service. Once that happens... well see above.

All the provider had to do was notify the parents that she doesn't provide the service anymore and she is giving them two weeks to make other arrangements. During that two week time the parents would need to provide a SET schedule and pay in advance on pay day for the set schedule. If the parents asks what services the provider DOES provide she can firmly say "full time slots only with set schedules (arrival and departure time) and the child maintain the same schedule as the other children". That's what I now offer. Want it?

End of story. If the parents gets upset (which they will when they are getting THIS big of a NO) then the solution is always just discontinue services without payment and we will all be square.

If you read the Mom's emails she said everything in one sentence "I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. BAM that's the money shot. She wants the provider to do what she wants her to do "for the sake of the child" but not for the sake of money, good working conditions, a happy provider, a stable group, etc. When you have parents talking about "flexibility" you might as well bend over because flexibility almost ALWAYS means that they do what they want and you get paid either a regular amount that you would normally get daily for a regular kid or even less.

If you are going to be FLEXIBLE then you must have a markedly higher daily rate for flexibility. Flexible for the sake of the child means the parents get cheap drop in day care whenever they want and just pay for those days. Flexibility for the "sake of the child" means you do as you are told.

Nan
You never discussed this with me, and I just went ahead and stuck to the schedule I gave you when you interviewed me. This is one thing I noticed. Saying this makes the parent feel that they are in charge, your hired by them, they are the boss. I would have rephrased it to be.....You never discussed this with me, when I interviewed you. Word it as you want but making it known that you were doing the interviewing to see if the child was going to be a good fit with you.
03-06-2013 10:25 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by misol View Post
I think you were well within your right to terminate this family but I would have given them two weeks notice though. Especially since they weren't expected to be there anyway.

I am on the same page with nannyde and jen and agree that the original termination letter had too much information. Short and to the point works best.

At the mom's request, I would suggest that you not contact her again. If she doesn't pay you the $30, you have to just chalk that one up as a cost of doing business. You might want to consider having parents pay in advance of care so that you don't get stuck again.

I think you handled yourself professionally.
Paying in advance and a week ahead is ideal!!! I started doing this. No, pay, no stay-
03-06-2013 10:22 AM
My3cents
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.

You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face.

End.

McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.

Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc.

None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today.

Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO?

When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there.

You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it.

I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled.

Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house.

Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.
I love this

because I am one of those people that feels the need to explain........ I am sure you have all seen that in my postings. I work hard on this as a self improvement. I have come a long way, but have far to go. My hubby will often tell me, you don't need to explain yourself. I know this, but boy do I get caught up in it. Take this advice, it is good and I thought the same thing as I was reading your back and fourth emails.

best-
03-06-2013 07:48 AM
MNMum What a great post!
03-06-2013 07:26 AM
JLH If I were you, once you responded to mom that you needed payment and she said she would pay you, I would have stopped it at that point. I try not to get into back and forths with my daycare parents. The madder you make them the more they will badmouth you in the community. Just my opinion. Best of luck to you! Remember, for every bad match out there, there are 10 good ones. I think most of us have a family in our care that is a bad match. We just don't all have the guts you had to be able to terminate. Good job!
03-06-2013 07:07 AM
crazydaycarelady I would have given the family a 2 week notice and hoped they didn't take me up on it.

Looking at how dcm handled the situation I would say this was a blessing in disquise.
03-06-2013 06:45 AM
Willow
Quote:
Originally Posted by j.ann View Post
I can see both sides. But i would have to side with the mom. it's such bullstuff that parents need to give notice before leaving and a daycare provider can just terminate with absolutely no notice. that DOES leave a parent in a bind. I wouldn't have given you the thirty dollars either.

Wondering if the OP is around.....and if the above is the former disgruntled client who STILL couldn't let go of what happened and that's why they felt the need to drag this back up


Seriously.....it's all about the poor parents being left in a bind? Get real. What about the provider left in a bind when their child is dropped off at unpredictable hours miserable and screaming through the day because they're never cared for properly at home. That doesn't leave them and every single other child in their care in a bind AT - ALL does is now....
03-06-2013 06:09 AM
laundrymom I agree Nan, although the nap for 4 yr old one got a ton of ideas flowing.
03-06-2013 06:07 AM
laundrymom This quoted response is what I would have done.

In my honest opinion, I think the entire bottom portion of your original post was an invitation for trouble. I would have given 2weeks, smiled and wished them well.

As for the pennies, rofl. That's funny, I don't care who you are.

I would never have gotten into a pi$$ing match through email. Each mail you sent sounded more and more like you were whining that she had moved on. I think mom was very professional ( until the pennies) and you did term in writing effective immediately. No matter your words w dad, you spelled out in black and white the words that made her feel unwelcome. If I were mom, I would have not been as professional.

I'm really not a mean person, look through my previous posts, I simply am honest with what I see and behind every post I make is 26 years of being a licensed family childcare provider. I hope not to offend. Good luck with however you choose to respond, personally I would write a reciept, send it out and move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jen View Post
I don't think that you were at all wrong for terminating. The one thing I have learned (the hard way) is it is best not to get in to these conversations with parents. They are hurt and upset and you just can't win.

Short and sweet!

For termination: Due to incompatible schedules I will no longer be able to care for your child as of (two weeks). If you find alternative care prior to that date, please feel free to begin that care immediately. For the remainder of his time with me I will need a schedule for each week by Sunday evening. If you have not arrived within 30 minutes of your scheduled arrival time I will need to send home my assistant home and I will no longer be able to accomodate you for that day.

In response to the other stuff: "I am sorry that you feel that way. It was certainly not my intention. We think dcb is a wonderful child and will thrive in the appropriate setting.
03-06-2013 04:57 AM
nannyde I loved that thread. One of the best threads EVER on daycare.com
03-06-2013 04:50 AM
LittleD Oh I wouldn't say a parent can't terminate without notice. If the child is being neglected, and you can prove it, I'm sure a court would allow you to leave without giving notice...
03-05-2013 06:35 PM
j.ann I can see both sides. But i would have to side with the mom. it's such bullstuff that parents need to give notice before leaving and a daycare provider can just terminate with absolutely no notice. that DOES leave a parent in a bind. I wouldn't have given you the thirty dollars either.
08-22-2011 07:48 PM
Candyland
Quote:
Originally Posted by judytrickett View Post

No seriously....write them a letter and simply say, "Thanks for your payment". It's passive aggressive and if they don't "get your goat" they will be even more pissed off! PLUS, YOU look like the professional!

this would be a great one to do; but first count the money just to make sure it's really $30 worth of pennies.
08-22-2011 04:44 PM
SandeeAR Take the money to the bank and find out exactly how much is there.

Then, She needs a receipt right? For taxes??? Type/write one for 3000 pennies. She will surely get questioned if she turns her stuff over to a CPA
08-22-2011 09:34 AM
Unregistered I agree you don't have to explain any termination, but getting a parent mad at you does have consequences. Either they falsely report you or bad mouth you to others in the community. I have found its much better to be nice and say your hours are changing, or you are scaling down. In this case, at least she did pay and who cares if its in pennies??

Wouldn't bother me in the least bit, and its true she went to a lot of trouble just to do that which only leads me to conclude she is NUTS!!! I only wish we could administer psy. test to parents before picking them up...."What does this picture remind you of" and so fourth, lol. You can check them out quite a bit on the internet, and in the county records; but still its not fool proof.

Over the years I've had a few nasty people, and it was always over money, and their unwillingness to understand I provide a valuable service, that is not dependent on their pay schedule, or what they think or WHEN they should pay me. The really rude ones are the ones who drop on a thur. or fri. and refuse to pay for the following week, thus the week notice they agreed to. I don't go to small claims, its not enough to warrant that, but I've provided information that got two garnished. And one is currently in trouble for mortgage fraud.... Apparently some think because we do daycare out of our homes that we can be taken advantage of, or we have no recourse. On the upside.. over the years most of my parents have been great and we have a great relationship. Its just the bad apples I don't have a tolerance for.
08-21-2011 10:58 PM
BabyMomma
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.

You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face.

End.

McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.

Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc.

None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today.

Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO?

When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there.

You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it.

I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled.

Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house.

Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.
I agree to the 10th power. You don't have to explain "Shuga Honey Ice Tea" to anyone! It's YOUR childcare business. You'll run yourself ragged trying to explain yourself to folks who know better and know exactly what they're doing.

People will try you anytime they think they can get away with it. That's the kind of world we're living in...do as I say, not as I do. Enjoy your penny bag for what it's worth and keep it moving!
05-26-2010 11:46 AM
Lucy
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.

You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face.

End.

McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.

Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc.

None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today.

Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO?

When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there.

You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it.

I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled.

Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house.

Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.
Agree with this. Didn't read it before I wrote mine, but pretty much says the same thing about over-explaining in your termination letter. You opened them up to fight with you on the points you brought up in the letter. (even though your points were correct.)
05-26-2010 11:41 AM
Lucy Here's what I'm wondering: Did you discuss any of this verbally with her before termination letter? I had a new girl start in April who's mom was told in the interview I close at 5:15. First week she came 5:30-5:50. Friday of that week I verbally said, "For this to work I really need her picked up by 5:15. I'd even be fine with 5:20." She has come at 5:10 ever since. I think if you had just mentioned about hiring the assistant and paying her for no reason and mention to her that the nap schedule just isn't working very well for me and could I maybe try to get him on a schedule that fits better in my daycare...etc. Basically, I'm asking was this TALKED about before you decided to terminate? If you just sprang the termination on the parent with zero discussion, I'd be miffed too if I were her.

My next comment, and this is assuming something was discussed verbally before you gave her the termination letter: I think you over-explained. I would just state that their varied schedule is just not working, and upon much reflection, you've decided to discontinue your contract with the family on X date (2 weeks from date of letter.) Don't go into lengthy explanation of what they did wrong and why it ticked you off. People don't take things well when it concerns their kids. Just stick to the brief facts, be totally professional and business-like, and be done with it. And in any further correspondence, I would never get argumentative. Just keep it on a business level (and think rotten things in your mind LOL). Also, I agree with the mom that the remaining balance due should have DEFINITELY been included in the termination letter.

All that being said, I do not blame you for terminating, and I'm not trying to be on the mom's side. You asked for constructive criticism, and I'm just being honest and saying what I have done in the past.

Basically... verbal communication first, then termination letter short and to the point including balance due.
05-25-2010 03:04 PM
momofboys DId you count the pennies? I'd love to know whether she shorted you or overpaid you or gave you quality pennies!
05-25-2010 01:01 PM
PositvityRuLes That should get her goat!
05-25-2010 12:55 PM
PositvityRuLes $0.02 OVERAGE? HILARIOUS!!!!
05-24-2010 04:57 PM
Preschool/daycare teacher
Quote:
Originally Posted by Preschool/daycare teacher View Post
I haven't been on for a few days, but got an e-mail from Michael saying the hot topic was termination gone wrong, so I checked it out. Oh, this is great! I, too, needed a good laugh. I'm sorry you had to mess with this dcm, I don't think you did anything wrong (although responding to her e-mail wouldn't do any good. When someone is mad and say things that are just not true, responding to them doesn't change their mind and make them think, "oh she's right. I was wrong. I need to apologize to provider". But I'm sure you know that). and I know I myself would have probably done the same thing and tried to "defend" myself, knowing I didn't do anything wrong.
When I first saw that bag of pennies, I thought you were kidding, but when I realized you were serious, I burst out laughing (earning a few strange looks lol). I had to share this post with my family!
I've been thinking more about this. Now I'm thinking that you probably did do the right thing in responding, because you were very tactful about it (as someone else mentioned) and sweet. It's good that you explained yourself for the whole paper trail purposes and also because you stood up for yourself very well. We can't let people walk all over us. If we don't stand up for ourselves, people won't respect us as much, and will continue to walk on us. She mentioned that it was cowardly to e-mail her instead of calling, but actually, I think it was cowardly on HER part not to call you to get it all straightend out, if she thought a phone conversation necessary. And it was cowardly to leave the money on your front step instead of facing you. With the pennies, she only hurt herself with that. She had to make the extra trip to the bank to exchange bills into pennies instead of simply writing a check. You would have had to go into the bank anyway to deposit the check, so it's no extra steps for you to just deposit pennies instead. Except for having to count it.... Do you have any children who are old enough to help count? It'd be good practice for them, even if you had to double check them later. Or a lesson of less, more, and the same. Show them $30 in bills, then show them the bag of pennies and explain that it's the same amount. Or just do like someone else mentioned and go to a coin sorter and bring some children with you to watch it.
05-24-2010 04:22 PM
Preschool/daycare teacher I haven't been on for a few days, but got an e-mail from Michael saying the hot topic was termination gone wrong, so I checked it out. Oh, this is great! I, too, needed a good laugh. I'm sorry you had to mess with this dcm, I don't think you did anything wrong (although responding to her e-mail wouldn't do any good. When someone is mad and say things that are just not true, responding to them doesn't change their mind and make them think, "oh she's right. I was wrong. I need to apologize to provider". But I'm sure you know that). and I know I myself would have probably done the same thing and tried to "defend" myself, knowing I didn't do anything wrong.
When I first saw that bag of pennies, I thought you were kidding, but when I realized you were serious, I burst out laughing (earning a few strange looks lol). I had to share this post with my family!
05-24-2010 07:29 AM
My Daycare
Quote:
Originally Posted by booroo View Post

A receipt thanking her for prompt payment is in order, with a little note saying: thank you so much for the coin rolling segment, each child got to roll pennies, and keep the roll for a special treat, it was a great money learning segment.
That's perfect!



Did you cash them in to find out the exact amount yet?
05-24-2010 06:23 AM
booroo Oh my gosh!!! This as turned into the funniest thing ever; and I don't mean to laugh, but seriouly, I can't believe some one did that!!

A receipt thanking her for prompt payment is in order, with a little note saying: thank you so much for the coin rolling segment, each child got to roll pennies, and keep the roll for a special treat, it was a great money learning segment.
05-22-2010 05:26 PM
Unregistered You could send her a receipt for each penny!!
05-21-2010 07:52 PM
HeatherB you were very sweet and nice.....too nice! I agree with short and sweet however very hard to do! I know first hand... I keep trying and that is all tha matters.
05-21-2010 07:40 PM
Former Teacher You could send her a statement telling her that she shorted you by 3 cents and you still demand to be paid in full HAHA just kidding

I agree...be the bigger person and don't give her any satisfaction! Now take a deep breath and say...it's over
05-21-2010 07:05 AM
emosks I had to peek back in and see what was making this thread so long! I can't believe that she did that...wait. I can. People can be real idiots and I agree. Go to the bank, have it counted and then return anything over $30. Send her a receipt. Be done. Be the bigger person.
05-21-2010 12:14 AM
actaktmdt I'm so sorry what a rude former client. I'm torn between which suggestion that I like. Having just ended 8 years in banking as a teller I saw this quite frequently. Its a common I'm mad at u practice. Banks would even get it. One would go to there own bank and get boxes of pennies ( a box is 50$) or thousands in ones and pay their lines of credit or morgages or other loans and come to our bank and make a payment or a pay off as though they had the higher hand. Most often though it was a college kid who was upset with a roomate and they would pay rent in that way.
05-20-2010 09:00 PM
MarinaVanessa
Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
she's probably checking her inbox 10 times a day just to see how bad she ticked you off. i wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
True very true but the idea of dancing on her lawn while I sprinkle the pennies like magic fairy dust all over her front yard like Judy suggested does seem like a lot of fun.
05-20-2010 08:24 PM
QualiTcare it would be reeeeally hard not to say anything to her. i'd be so tempted to send her an email, but - knowing that's exactly what she wants/expects would be enough to keep me from doing it.

she's probably checking her inbox 10 times a day just to see how bad she ticked you off. i wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
05-20-2010 07:44 PM
Unregistered
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



Uploaded with ImageShack.us
Well.. that was creative. You certainly won't forget that client! Don't be hurt, she's a dweeb and more immature than her child. (And do look for one of those wheat pennies - wouldn't that be a kicker?) Karma! hehe!
05-20-2010 05:58 PM
judytrickett
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Go back to their house, knock on the door and tell them you changed your mind. Then walk over, and toss those pennies ALL over the front lawn. Just imagine trying to cut that freaking grass!! It will be like a shrapnel fire!!

No seriously....write them a letter and simply say, "Thanks for your payment". It's passive aggressive and if they don't "get your goat" they will be even more pissed off! PLUS, YOU look like the professional!
05-20-2010 04:41 PM
MarinaVanessa
Quote:
Originally Posted by michael View Post
This thread turned into such a great read. I made it the "Top Topic" on the from page of Daycare.com and I think I will leave it up a few more days. Just too funny some of the brilliant "solutions" presented.
Yeah the whole thread is great. I love that when I have a bad day I can just come on here and someone will lift my spirits, give me great advice or just make me smile. Even if we don't actually do some these "solutions" as you say Michael, I think that this is a great place to share our ideas of what we wish we could do. I absolutely love this forum.
05-20-2010 01:40 PM
professionalmom I have never had that many pennies at one time (except when I was a kid), so if I did something like this (which I wouldn't because I'm actually an adult), I would have to take $30 to the bank and ask them to exchange the bills for pennies. If she did that, I wonder how embarrassing it must have been and what the teller was thinking? And for what? To stick it to you? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!
Love the "write her a check for $0.02 as an overpayment" idea.
And the "priceless, rare penny" idea was beyond genius!!!!
05-20-2010 01:31 PM
momma2girls OMG!!! I love it!!!
05-20-2010 12:30 PM
nannyde
Quote:
Originally Posted by michael View Post
This thread turned into such a great read. I made it the "Top Topic" on the from page of Daycare.com and I think I will leave it up a few more days. Just too funny some of the brilliant "solutions" presented.
Showing MsKara the love

I like.
05-20-2010 12:18 PM
Michael This thread turned into such a great read. I made it the "Top Topic" on the from page of Daycare.com and I think I will leave it up a few more days. Just too funny some of the brilliant "solutions" presented.
05-20-2010 11:30 AM
mamajennleigh Nannyde, I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea! My jaw actually dropped, too, when I saw that picture, and I was thinking some pretty evil thoughts myself. But honestly, Vesta cracked me up with the "itchy bee" thing and then this with the wheat penny. You guys made me laugh so hard today, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I needed that.

I would do the wheat penny thing if it was the last thing I did. Of course, I'm from the south, and every evil thing we say is always dripping with honey. . . and acid. This would be right up my alley, y'all .
05-20-2010 11:13 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com I soooooo vote for this! this has gone past balance and is just spiteful! OR,.....


I would write one that says, dear parent, you enclosed too much, I am refunding your overpayment in the amount of $0.02.


lolololol give her a check for 2 cents!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
LMAO!!! I'm so sorry to laugh but I think that it's halarious that this family acts so childish. I have to give her credit for creativity. I feel for you honey. Now, I'm a smart-ass so just for kicks I'd remove like two pennies and write en e-mail that went something like this:

Dear Family,
I am writing to you to confirm and thank you for your promt payment of the monies that were still owed to me. As I went through and counted it however I found that it was short .02. Please let me know when you will be back to pay the remaining balance owed.

Sincerely
Me


Okay I dunno if I'd actually do it but I know I'd really really REALLY want to. Either that or tell her that there was an overpayment of .02 and mail them to her. If someone did something like this to me I'd see it as a challenge and I'm sorry to say that I am not above lowering myself to that level. I am not the type to be outdone or to let the other person have tha last laugh. (still chuckling at the thought of having a family drop a bag of 3,000 pennies on my porch).
05-20-2010 10:51 AM
MsKara
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
You guys are the best! I laughed so hard I cried. I really needed that laugh!! Thank You Thank YOu. And now i'm super excited to go through the pennies. I'll let everyone know if I find something valuable. Especially HER!!!
05-20-2010 10:47 AM
jen ahahhahhhaaaa! You are too funny!!!
05-20-2010 10:46 AM
safechner Wow! It is hard to believe after I saw this picture. What a jerk! I never thought it would do that to anyone like this. Don't worry about them.

((HUGS))
05-20-2010 10:38 AM
MarinaVanessa
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! What's funny is that I saw that bag of pennies and really was jelous because I do collect pennies and know exactly what kind of penny you are talking about. I have a 1914 penny but unfortunately not that penny lol. All I wanted to do was go through that bag and see if there was something I could add to my own collection .
05-20-2010 10:35 AM
momofboys
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
I agree with Nannyde, writing the above would be more-than tempting to me! But I also agree with the other posters, go do something nice for your family & FORGET about this simple-minded & mean parent. And I truly wouldn't be worried about this family moving into your neighborhood. She is the one who should be worried. Hugs!
05-20-2010 10:32 AM
QualiTcare
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
that's hilarious.
05-20-2010 10:28 AM
QualiTcare
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
LMAO!!! I'm so sorry to laugh but I think that it's halarious that this family acts so childish. I have to give her credit for creativity. I feel for you honey. Now, I'm a smart-ass so just for kicks I'd remove like two pennies and write en e-mail that went something like this:

Dear Family,
I am writing to you to confirm and thank you for your promt payment of the monies that were still owed to me. As I went through and counted it however I found that it was short .02. Please let me know when you will be back to pay the remaining balance owed.

Sincerely
Me


Okay I dunno if I'd actually do it but I know I'd really really REALLY want to. Either that or tell her that there was an overpayment of .02 and mail them to her. If someone did something like this to me I'd see it as a challenge and I'm sorry to say that I am not above lowering myself to that level. I am not the type to be outdone or to let the other person have tha last laugh. (still chuckling at the thought of having a family drop a bag of 3,000 pennies on my porch).


i'm glad you said it. i was beginning to think i am pure evil.
05-20-2010 10:18 AM
nannyde
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
LMAO!!! I'm so sorry to laugh but I think that it's halarious that this family acts so childish. I have to give her credit for creativity. I feel for you honey. Now, I'm a smart-ass so just for kicks I'd remove like two pennies and write en e-mail that went something like this:

Dear Family,
I am writing to you to confirm and thank you for your promt payment of the monies that were still owed to me. As I went through and counted it however I found that it was short .02. Please let me know when you will be back to pay the remaining balance owed.

Sincerely
Me


Okay I dunno if I'd actually do it but I know I'd really really REALLY want to. Either that or tell her that there was an overpayment of .02 and mail them to her. If someone did something like this to me I'd see it as a challenge and I'm sorry to say that I am not above lowering myself to that level. I am not the type to be outdone or to let the other person have tha last laugh. (still chuckling at the thought of having a family drop a bag of 3,000 pennies on my porch).
Here's mine:

Dear Bully Parent,

Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG I'm so excited I could burst.

http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7

I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should.

It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
05-20-2010 10:07 AM
TGT09 After seeing that picture, I almost screamed at the computer! That is the rudest and most disrespectful thing I have seen in quite some time! I agree with a PP, good riddance to getting rid of that family. If they are capable of doing something so disrespectful, I would not give them another thought. As for them about to be your neighbors, I would make sure your friends/neighbors know exactly what they did.....obviously if it comes up in conversation.
05-20-2010 10:04 AM
GretasLittleFriends On the flip side...

Maybe this is a little snotty, but since you didn't charge her any late fees and were only requiring she pay you $30, if it were me I would definitely return any extra coins over the $30. Either in person or with a note stating that she over paid by x amount and you were returning it to her. This way you show you were honest AND that it didn't seem to bother you.
05-20-2010 10:01 AM
MarinaVanessa LMAO!!! I'm so sorry to laugh but I think that it's halarious that this family acts so childish. I have to give her credit for creativity. I feel for you honey. Now, I'm a smart-ass so just for kicks I'd remove like two pennies and write en e-mail that went something like this:

Dear Family,
I am writing to you to confirm and thank you for your promt payment of the monies that were still owed to me. As I went through and counted it however I found that it was short .02. Please let me know when you will be back to pay the remaining balance owed.

Sincerely
Me


Okay I dunno if I'd actually do it but I know I'd really really REALLY want to. Either that or tell her that there was an overpayment of .02 and mail them to her. If someone did something like this to me I'd see it as a challenge and I'm sorry to say that I am not above lowering myself to that level. I am not the type to be outdone or to let the other person have tha last laugh. (still chuckling at the thought of having a family drop a bag of 3,000 pennies on my porch).
05-20-2010 09:55 AM
nannyde Oh wow. Definitely a bully move.

Don't take it hard. She just has "last worditis". She THINKS she had the last word but really you did. She's been abusing your kindness and good will for so long and YOU said "no more". That, my friend, was the LAST word.

Get the pennies to a sorter as soon as you can.. take the money and do something really nice for your family. Don't be upset if it is short. It most likely is. She probably just dumped her change piggy bank into a ziploc so it's probably not the amount it should be. Whatever the amount just use it for something really nice for your kids and yourself and then don't give her another moments thought. Have a double dip chocolate twist cone and think of all of us who were here to help you thru it.

Ya gotta remember that EVERY business has freak customers. We aren't immune to that. You don't get to bypass that segment of the human population. Just because someone has a kid doesn't make them intrinsically a good person. Many a jerk is a parent.

Big hugs to you. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me thru this site and I will send you my phone number. Good luck and shake it off mate.
05-20-2010 09:45 AM
DBug Wow, that's alot of pennies . That is one of the most snotty things I've ever seen someone do! I'm guessing this woman is more than a little passive aggressive! She's likely looking for some sort of reaction from you, just so that she can have the satisfaction of knowing she got back at you -- but don't let her have it! Don't contact her in any way. And the next time you see her, pretend everything is absolutely perfect, and thank her for getting the payment to you (with sincerity).

But whatever you do, don't give her the satisfaction.

And yeah, whoever suggested that you should use the money to treat yourself was right on. Do something nice for yourself!
05-20-2010 09:04 AM
Daycare Mommy ((hugs)) What a couple of jerks! Good riddance to that family! I know it's easier said than done, but try to move on and not take it so personally. Some people are just hateful and will not be budged once they decide they want to dislike someone. ::cough:: my MIL ::cough, cough:: Just be glad you aren't related to them! You gave that dad notice. You did NOTHING wrong. I'd take that bag to one of those coinstar machines (or even better if they have one of those fancy ones that spins the money around first, kids get such a kick out of those) and let the kids put it in and have fun with it. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade! That or if you can afford it, donate the money to a charitable cause. It'll make you feel good (at least it does me) and that can be your last act to wash your hands of them and the whole situation.
05-20-2010 08:55 AM
jen Aww! Don't let it bother you. She is mad because she didn't get her own way! Take your change to the bank, run it through the change thing, and then use it to go buy yourself a treat!

I'm sure a BIG part of her anger stems from the fact that she can't find anyone to do what you were doing for her. Her loss, she should have been cooperative.
05-20-2010 08:54 AM
Vesta Um,
Wow,
That actually made my jaw drop.

Doesn't look like $30 worth of pennies though. I would take it to the bank to make sure.

What an itchy bee.

You are much better off without the person in your life and I'm sorry they are moving near you. Make sure you document all this stuff in case they decide to start making accusations with licensing. She seems like the type.
05-20-2010 08:43 AM
MsKara Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.



Uploaded with ImageShack.us
05-20-2010 06:42 AM
misol
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Oh Stop.

Judy Trickett should write a book. She's the best writer day care peep I know.
I would buy both of your books in a heartbeat!
05-20-2010 06:36 AM
nannyde
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajennleigh View Post
Honestly, Nannyde, you are like the Daycare Whisperer LOL! I love your wisdom. I think you should write a book. I think what you are saying is right on, as usual.
Oh Stop.

Judy Trickett should write a book. She's the best writer day care peep I know.
05-20-2010 06:19 AM
mamajennleigh Honestly, Nannyde, you are like the Daycare Whisperer LOL! I love your wisdom. I think you should write a book. I think what you are saying is right on, as usual.
05-20-2010 05:18 AM
nannyde
Quote:
Originally Posted by professionalmom View Post
Funny. I have been thinking about McDonalds (and Wal-Mart) too, but in a different way. We are running businesses and have to remember that we are a business (albeit small and usually sole proprietorships). I have been thinking, if it wouldn't fly at Wal-Mart, it won't fly here. For example, I forgot my checkbook at home, I'll just take this package of diapers and come back tomorrow to pay you. Nope. You pay or you don't get the product or service. Period. This IS business. I guess it goes the other way too. McDonald's and Wal-Mart do not need to explain their business decisions to us, so we do not HAVE to explain our policy changes or decisions to our clients. Now, if only they would show the same respect for us that they show to Wal-Mart and McDonald's.
The obvious difference is that each wal mart customer doesn't contribute to a large percentage of their total revenue. The reason day care parents in home day care have so much power is that their payment covers a large percentage of the business income.

Parents who have their kids in Centers don't have that much power. If they pull out the Center looses one percent or so depending on the size. In home day care it can be 15-25 percent for the average home day care. This is the dynamic that makes the relationship so unique.

My comparison is that we don't have to explain to parents WHY we don't offer a service they want. In the situation of the OP there wasn't any reason at all to be that specific with the parents. The parents wanted drop in care, control over the child's schedule whenever he DID show up, and only pay for whatever days they decided to bring him. Those are services very few providers offer. It's even more rare with successful providers because there is no money in it and the amount of work involved for the money you do get is not worth the effort. Loose loose for the provider. Win win for the parents... until the provider discontinues the service. Once that happens... well see above.

All the provider had to do was notify the parents that she doesn't provide the service anymore and she is giving them two weeks to make other arrangements. During that two week time the parents would need to provide a SET schedule and pay in advance on pay day for the set schedule. If the parents asks what services the provider DOES provide she can firmly say "full time slots only with set schedules (arrival and departure time) and the child maintain the same schedule as the other children". That's what I now offer. Want it?

End of story. If the parents gets upset (which they will when they are getting THIS big of a NO) then the solution is always just discontinue services without payment and we will all be square.

If you read the Mom's emails she said everything in one sentence "I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. BAM that's the money shot. She wants the provider to do what she wants her to do "for the sake of the child" but not for the sake of money, good working conditions, a happy provider, a stable group, etc. When you have parents talking about "flexibility" you might as well bend over because flexibility almost ALWAYS means that they do what they want and you get paid either a regular amount that you would normally get daily for a regular kid or even less.

If you are going to be FLEXIBLE then you must have a markedly higher daily rate for flexibility. Flexible for the sake of the child means the parents get cheap drop in day care whenever they want and just pay for those days. Flexibility for the "sake of the child" means you do as you are told.

Nan
05-19-2010 07:52 PM
QualiTcare
Quote:
Originally Posted by professionalmom View Post
Funny. I have been thinking about McDonalds (and Wal-Mart) too, but in a different way. We are running businesses and have to remember that we are a business (albeit small and usually sole proprietorships). I have been thinking, if it wouldn't fly at Wal-Mart, it won't fly here. For example, I forgot my checkbook at home, I'll just take this package of diapers and come back tomorrow to pay you. Nope. You pay or you don't get the product or service. Period. This IS business. I guess it goes the other way too. McDonald's and Wal-Mart do not need to explain their business decisions to us, so we do not HAVE to explain our policy changes or decisions to our clients. Now, if only they would show the same respect for us that they show to Wal-Mart and McDonald's.
i agree in a way, but the slight difference i see is that i don't sign a contract when i buy a cheeseburger from mcdonald's. slightly more complicated.
05-19-2010 04:10 PM
Unregistered Nothing wrong with what you did.

From past experience, I would keep it short and sweet. Parents always get defensive no matter what. I have learned that when giving a negative, I have to give two positive statements for each negative. Hard to do. I run out of positive statements hence a short letter. lol
05-19-2010 03:02 PM
professionalmom
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.
Funny. I have been thinking about McDonalds (and Wal-Mart) too, but in a different way. We are running businesses and have to remember that we are a business (albeit small and usually sole proprietorships). I have been thinking, if it wouldn't fly at Wal-Mart, it won't fly here. For example, I forgot my checkbook at home, I'll just take this package of diapers and come back tomorrow to pay you. Nope. You pay or you don't get the product or service. Period. This IS business. I guess it goes the other way too. McDonald's and Wal-Mart do not need to explain their business decisions to us, so we do not HAVE to explain our policy changes or decisions to our clients. Now, if only they would show the same respect for us that they show to Wal-Mart and McDonald's.
05-19-2010 11:17 AM
MarinaVanessa After reading your letter, emails and her responses I don't see anything wrong other than you did not give them 2 weeks notice. The notice itself looks like you're leaving them in the lurch and terminating immediately. I would have added your offer of being available in case they needed you or given them a two weeks notice with the choice to opt not to use it with no additional cost.

Everything else was well worded and explanitory. You explained your conversation with her husband to make sure that she understood that you did in fact offer.

One thing that I do different however when I am terming a child is not to give a real explination in the termination letter itself. I simply say something like "I am unable to provide the services that your child/family needs". That way I'm letting them go and there is no real reason. If they want to discuss the reasons why I am terming them then I will e-mail so that I have a paper trail but even in that explination I am vague. Either way she's gone and soon so will your headache.
05-19-2010 09:27 AM
professionalmom
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Thanks guys! From now on: Short and Sweet and businesslike. I guess I get too caught up in wanting everyone to like me and understand my decisions. This is tough stuff.
I am exactly the same way. I spend so much time trying to accommodate everyone and it really offends me when they turn hostile the second I say "no". I guess we both need to get over "wanting everyone to like us" and "understand our decisions", suck it up, get a backbone, and thicken our skins a little.
05-19-2010 08:59 AM
My4SunshineGirlsNY
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsKara View Post
Thanks guys! From now on: Short and Sweet and businesslike. I guess I get too caught up in wanting everyone to like me and understand my decisions. This is tough stuff.
This is EXACTLY it!! Short and sweet. I am a softie too, I like letters/Emails, I HATE confrontation...but I like my rules to be followed....and one needs to be realistic on us daycare providers that have more than one child to tend to. We NEED a schedule. I would have been upset at the sparatic drop off times too, I had one of those a few months ago..said daycare boy would be here at 8 and never showed until 10 or 10:30 sometimes..meanwhile, would if I could have been doing something else with the kids..sometimes I do take them places.

I like to explain myself and would have LOVED to explain to a couple parents I let go a few things and give them my mind, but I knew it would be worse off, so I just kept my mouth shut, let them go quietly. From now on, that's what you have to do.....I have learned that you can't please everyone and when terminating, it makes parents EXTREEMLY defensive.
05-19-2010 07:45 AM
misol I think you were well within your right to terminate this family but I would have given them two weeks notice though. Especially since they weren't expected to be there anyway.

I am on the same page with nannyde and jen and agree that the original termination letter had too much information. Short and to the point works best.

At the mom's request, I would suggest that you not contact her again. If she doesn't pay you the $30, you have to just chalk that one up as a cost of doing business. You might want to consider having parents pay in advance of care so that you don't get stuck again.

I think you handled yourself professionally.
05-19-2010 06:41 AM
MsKara Thanks guys! From now on: Short and Sweet and businesslike. I guess I get too caught up in wanting everyone to like me and understand my decisions. This is tough stuff.
05-19-2010 06:33 AM
jen I don't think that you were at all wrong for terminating. The one thing I have learned (the hard way) is it is best not to get in to these conversations with parents. They are hurt and upset and you just can't win.

Short and sweet!

For termination: Due to incompatible schedules I will no longer be able to care for your child as of (two weeks). If you find alternative care prior to that date, please feel free to begin that care immediately. For the remainder of his time with me I will need a schedule for each week by Sunday evening. If you have not arrived within 30 minutes of your scheduled arrival time I will need to send home my assistant home and I will no longer be able to accomodate you for that day.

In response to the other stuff: "I am sorry that you feel that way. It was certainly not my intention. We think dcb is a wonderful child and will thrive in the appropriate setting.
05-19-2010 06:27 AM
nannyde I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.

You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face.

End.

McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same.

Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc.

None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today.

Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO?

When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there.

You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it.

I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled.

Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house.

Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.
This thread has more than 100 replies. Click here to review the whole thread.

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:23 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming