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Topic Review (Newest First)
06-11-2019 03:21 AM
Josiegirl Me me me me me. Adults are so caught up with the ME movement that children are becoming simple baggage problems of where to put them. No wonder so many kids need help and are emotional messes, where is their security? Their feelings of love, bonding, compassion, stability? If a parent, who's supposed to love and accept them unconditionally, doesn't, then how can they feel good about themselves? How can children feel lovable if they know they're being pawned off all the time?
Saddest thing I've ever experienced.
Times have changed and it worries me.
TG not every family is like this.
06-10-2019 12:46 PM
Baby Beluga Around Christmas I always see memes about dogs being a 12+ year commitment and to consider this when gifting a puppy for Christmas.

There needs to be something similar for people before becoming parents.

I have also noticed an increase in "me time" articles, memes and posts. I think as a society (one of) the things that is lacking is a true education on what it takes to be a parent. Not just the fake baby in high school, but an education on the actual requirements and different stages of being a parent from pregnancy through adolescence and beyond. What happens if your child has special needs and the special demands that will place on your life, how to balance a career, marriage and parenthood, etc. I don't hear any of this. I hear education on safe sex (which is mediocre, at best) to prevent pregnancy but no actual education on how to "be" a good parent for those who want to be parents, but may not understand all it entails. (I understand the definition of a good parent is subjective.)
06-10-2019 11:47 AM
Ariana
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
Late fees all around huh. I would not feel bad about slapping a late fee on a parent that isn't working. No excuse at all for being late. "I was so busy having fun without my kids that I forgot about them. You understand, right?"

You guys can complain about seeing the same kids in your care open to close every day. I know the parents pay but they are cheating themselves out of really knowing their kids. It is also frustrating seeing these parents act like mom or dad of the year when you know they are anything but....
Unfortunately this mom was within her contracted hours and came before I closed so no late fees, she was just “late” considering she was not working! Its hilarious really! She goes on and on about how much she loves her little Boo on FB but hates to spend any time with her (same teacher mom who kept her kid here 9 hours a day all during March break!) She frequently leaves her on weekends as well. Sad but not my life!
06-10-2019 08:04 AM
Msdunny
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Contracted hours helps manage the "getting your money's worth" type of situations.

I also grab a Post-it note every time a parent says they are picking up early. I have them write down the time they will be arriving and sign/date it. That becomes their pick up time for that day. If they aren't there at that time, they are assessed the regular late fee.

If they don't know IF they'll actually be early or not don't tell me at all. Just show up early if you're planning on picking up early. Otherwise just pick up at regular time.

I don't care what parents are doing when their kids are here. I only care if they follow their scheduled drop off and pick up times. The rest is none of my business.

I don't live their lives nor do I know what they may or may not have going on physically, mentally or emotionally.

Sometimes parents actually do need "me" time.
Sometimes they abuse the concept

But I am not their parent so I don't parent them.

Do I judge them? At times I do but I think it's human nature to judge. However I also know I judge based on MY perception of who they are or what type of parent I think they are. NONE of which is 100% accurate.

Just like my daycare parents don't really "know" me,
I don't really know them. I only know what I see.

I agree, BC, which is why I (tried) to frame my post as a funny "it always seems to work out this way" situation, not a big problem. And I do think parents are missing out on a lot of their children's childhoods for the sake of 'me time'. I do my job with joy, and love the kids here. But I do wish parents placed these few formative years higher on their inportance meter. I didn't do the post-it note suggestion in this case because I knew she wasn't really serious about trying to get here early. She was too evasive about it. Whatever. Her time. And I enjoy her kid, so bonus for me, in the grand scheme of things!
06-10-2019 06:53 AM
Blackcat31 Contracted hours helps manage the "getting your money's worth" type of situations.

I also grab a Post-it note every time a parent says they are picking up early. I have them write down the time they will be arriving and sign/date it. That becomes their pick up time for that day. If they aren't there at that time, they are assessed the regular late fee.

If they don't know IF they'll actually be early or not don't tell me at all. Just show up early if you're planning on picking up early. Otherwise just pick up at regular time.

I don't care what parents are doing when their kids are here. I only care if they follow their scheduled drop off and pick up times. The rest is none of my business.

I don't live their lives nor do I know what they may or may not have going on physically, mentally or emotionally.

Sometimes parents actually do need "me" time.
Sometimes they abuse the concept

But I am not their parent so I don't parent them.

Do I judge them? At times I do but I think it's human nature to judge. However I also know I judge based on MY perception of who they are or what type of parent I think they are. NONE of which is 100% accurate.

Just like my daycare parents don't really "know" me,
I don't really know them. I only know what I see.
06-10-2019 06:08 AM
CountryRoads
Quote:
Originally Posted by knoxmomof2 View Post
I get that they're paying for the whole time, and I rarely get upset that they've taken a day off and not kept the kiddo, but you can't pick them up an hour or 2 early once in a while? I had a Dad take off a whole week to do Spring cleaning crap and get their pool ready for the Summer. Not early 1 day. Same schedule as always...... I just termed a family where Mom wasn't even working for the last 6 months of her pregnancy and yet I still opened 45 minutes early for them because Dad would bring them on his way to work... while Mom was at home all day. Those boys were here for at least 9 hours every.day.... And they had free days since they were previous clients. Never kept them home once. They decided to make a bunch of dietary changes, demands on me that were difficult in group care and the boys were a handful anyway. I was confused why, if they needed so much special care, Mom didn't just keep them home with her and raise them herself?? When I asked if they needed 2 weeks notice, she said yes, that would help tremendously??? I'm assuming they needed time to find other care 🤦*♀️ What a mess.... She figured out a way to be a SAHM without actually "Momming" all day.... I just couldn't work for a family that didn't actually need care and then wanted me to "Mom" for them.

I have a mom who has not been working for about 6 weeks now. Hasn't found another job, not sure if she's seriously even looking for one. She has not once kept her child for more than she is forced to. Dcb is here every day for 9 hours.

I don't care that he's here all day, it's not my business what she does - but if I was "let go" fro my job and knew I had to find another one at some point, I would be spending as much time as I possibly could with my child until I had to go back to work.

I just can't quite wrap my head around it.
06-10-2019 05:57 AM
knoxmomof2 I get that they're paying for the whole time, and I rarely get upset that they've taken a day off and not kept the kiddo, but you can't pick them up an hour or 2 early once in a while? I had a Dad take off a whole week to do Spring cleaning crap and get their pool ready for the Summer. Not early 1 day. Same schedule as always...... I just termed a family where Mom wasn't even working for the last 6 months of her pregnancy and yet I still opened 45 minutes early for them because Dad would bring them on his way to work... while Mom was at home all day. Those boys were here for at least 9 hours every.day.... And they had free days since they were previous clients. Never kept them home once. They decided to make a bunch of dietary changes, demands on me that were difficult in group care and the boys were a handful anyway. I was confused why, if they needed so much special care, Mom didn't just keep them home with her and raise them herself?? When I asked if they needed 2 weeks notice, she said yes, that would help tremendously??? I'm assuming they needed time to find other care 🤦*♀️ What a mess.... She figured out a way to be a SAHM without actually "Momming" all day.... I just couldn't work for a family that didn't actually need care and then wanted me to "Mom" for them.
06-10-2019 05:25 AM
rosieteddy It always baffled me ,sure you need time to yourself.Let the child stay until naptime ends then pickup and have some fun with your child.That is 7 hours of "me"time.So often they were just left the entire day ,regular pick up or late.It did make me sad for what Iknew they were missing.
06-10-2019 04:20 AM
amberrose3dg
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Thats usually how it goes when they have the day off! Haha!

I was waiting last week for one kid to be picked up, everyone else got picked up on time. Her mom wasn’t even working and she was late
Late fees all around huh. I would not feel bad about slapping a late fee on a parent that isn't working. No excuse at all for being late. "I was so busy having fun without my kids that I forgot about them. You understand, right?"

You guys can complain about seeing the same kids in your care open to close every day. I know the parents pay but they are cheating themselves out of really knowing their kids. It is also frustrating seeing these parents act like mom or dad of the year when you know they are anything but....
06-09-2019 04:02 PM
Msdunny It is sad. I know they pay me, but I don't think they realize how much they will miss these years very soon. My youngest is 20, and I don't regret the time I spent with the three of my kids, no matter how long the days seemed (stay-at-home mom and homeschooler here!) I would love to be able to go back to those years when they were first learning and spend that time with them again. I think today's parents may miss these years all too soon.

Families are different, though. I have another family where the mom was on a business trip Monday-Wednesday, so she kept her boy home on Thursday, then let me know he 'seemed sick', so she was keeping him home on Friday, too. So I only had him one day, was paid for the entire week, and was happy that this little one was able to spend time with his mom.
06-09-2019 06:09 AM
lovemykidstoo
Quote:
Originally Posted by boy_mom View Post
And I totally get this too, I used to encourage my parents to enjoy a day to themselves when they could! I just dont understand the new societal emphasis on "me time" over family time.

I try not to judge people and I am all for taking some time for yourself now and again.... but this mentality totally baffles me!
Same here. I totally get it sometimes, but seriously every single time they have a day off the child is here 9 or more hours. I don't care for me, I'm working anyway, but I do feel bad for the child. Especially my full timers that are her e 50 hours a week.
06-08-2019 12:57 PM
boy_mom
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosieteddy View Post
My husband always said"they are paying for it so there using it".I was like come on they can't come early especially when they know the child is the only one.
And I totally get this too, I used to encourage my parents to enjoy a day to themselves when they could! I just dont understand the new societal emphasis on "me time" over family time.

I try not to judge people and I am all for taking some time for yourself now and again.... but this mentality totally baffles me!
06-08-2019 12:35 PM
Valerie928 I had a mom pick up dcg 15 minutes early last Friday on her day off. Mom acts like she performed some grand miracle.
06-08-2019 05:14 AM
lovemykidstoo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msdunny View Post
Turns out, instead of an hour early, she’s going to be a half an hour late.
Yup that's pretty typical. So sad isn't it?
06-08-2019 05:13 AM
lovemykidstoo
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosieteddy View Post
My husband always said"they are paying for it so there using it".I was like come on they can't come early especially when they know the child is the only one.
My husband says that too but says that's how they think, not how he thinks.

I mentioned this type of thing on here before too and I totally understand they pay us to do a job and they can come for whatever time they like, but it does make me sad for the kids. I have a dcb 22 months right now that I wrote before about. Dad went out of the country for work for 2 weeks. The Friday before he left (he left on Sunday) he had the entire day off. Dcb was here 9 hours. He got home from that trip, was home a week and was going again out of the country for a week. Again had Friday off before and again dcb was here 9 hours. He just got back yesterday and mom picked up and said that she was going to take dcb to get ice cream and since dad was getting into town at that time, she told him to meet them at the ice cream parlor since they haven't seen him in a week. Nice little outting on a gorgeous day. He said no. I said oh my gosh really? She said yea he doesn't like ice cream. My heart broke for the little boy. Couldn't you just imagine this little one having ice cream and having dad who he hasn't seen in a week walk in? I just don't get it. Our son was in daycare for nearly 3 years and yes there were days where we took him if we had a day off if we had an appt or something, but if we did it was for a couple of hours until the appt was over. Most times he stayed home with us if we had a day off and we loved it!
06-07-2019 07:11 PM
Ariana
Quote:
Originally Posted by boy_mom View Post
I saw a meme circulating on Facebook that said "I dont care what time I get out of work, I'm not picking my kid up early from daycare!"

Soooo many moms shared it and soooo soooo many more laughed and agreed. All I could think was how sad for the little kids. I was like really, really sad.... why is it suddenly so normal to not want to spend time with your children?!?!
I saw it too! The new generation is very self absorbed. Why have kids?
06-07-2019 05:01 PM
rosieteddy My husband always said"they are paying for it so there using it".I was like come on they can't come early especially when they know the child is the only one.
06-07-2019 04:57 PM
boy_mom I saw a meme circulating on Facebook that said "I dont care what time I get out of work, I'm not picking my kid up early from daycare!"

Soooo many moms shared it and soooo soooo many more laughed and agreed. All I could think was how sad for the little kids. I was like really, really sad.... why is it suddenly so normal to not want to spend time with your children?!?!
06-07-2019 03:57 PM
e.j. I cringe internally every time a parent tells me, "I'll be picking (insert child's name) up early today." Translated, it means, "Not only am I not going to pick up on time, I'm going to be extra late today". And yup....parents who have the day off from work are usually my late shows. (I had to suggest to one dcm that she set her alarm clock before she laid down for a nap in the afternoon because she was consistently showing up late for pick up saying she overslept.

On a side note, it's so funny (not haha funny!) to me that we all seem to experience the same parent behaviors no matter where our day cares are located. It's like there's a "How to Tick Off Your Provider" rule book out there somewhere that so many dc parents have access to!
06-07-2019 01:53 PM
knoxmomof2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msdunny View Post
Turns out, instead of an hour early, she’s going to be a half an hour late.
I can't tell you how many times I've had "oh, I'll be picking up early today"... And they end up picking up later than usual Gee, thanks for the "break"....
06-07-2019 01:50 PM
Ariana
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msdunny View Post
Turns out, instead of an hour early, she’s going to be a half an hour late.
Thats usually how it goes when they have the day off! Haha!

I was waiting last week for one kid to be picked up, everyone else got picked up on time. Her mom wasn’t even working and she was late
06-07-2019 01:21 PM
happymom Noooo
I'm so sorry
06-07-2019 01:02 PM
Msdunny Turns out, instead of an hour early, she’s going to be a half an hour late.
06-07-2019 08:36 AM
Ariana Yup hear it ALL. THE. TIME!! I mean without these super selfish moms I wouldn’t have a job but c’mon!!

One hour
06-07-2019 06:54 AM
Msdunny I only have 3 on Fridays. I did that on purpose, so that my daughter and I would have a lighter day. 2 of my 3 are out today. The third's mom only brings her on Fridays so she can have time to herself.

So, when she got here I was saying, "hey girlie! I'm so excited you're here!. Courtney and I are trying to decide what fun stuff we can do today with just you!"

When mom realizes we only have her DD, she says, "Oh, well, maybe I'll just pick her up early." I told her when we would be home, and when naptime started. She said, "Oh, I meant when she wakes up. Just text me and I'll get her then so you guys can have a break."

Thanks for the 1 hour break,mom.

(I'm non complaing, really. She's a super easy baby. But this mom just spent a week away for work, and told us it is her day to 'just hang out' since all her house work was already done. Silly moms!)

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