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-   -   I Can't Believe A Parent Would Do That! (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75932)

Unregistered 01-30-2015 12:05 PM

I Can't Believe A Parent Would Do That!
 
One parent and I had agreed that their children would be to my house at 10 AM. So I took the other children for a walk and returned back to my house by 9 AM. I heard children talking and come to find out the children were in my backyard. The other parent had brought them early and left them in the backyard unattended! He came back and said that he went to go find a payphone to call me. Is this totally insane or what?! The kids aren't even 2 years old yet by the way.

nannyde 01-30-2015 12:08 PM

You are a mandatory reporter. You need to call now and report. There is no other way to deal with this.

cheerfuldom 01-30-2015 12:10 PM

He's a moron. and should have taken the kids with him to the payphone. Term immediately. or you will have the liability that comes with working for/with a moron. report him too.

Hunni Bee 01-30-2015 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nannyde (Post 520919)
You are a mandatory reporter. You need to call now and report. There is no other way to deal with this.

^^^^ This. Now.

I cannot begin to think about what horror could've happened with toddlers being left unattended in someone's backyard.

At the very least, YOU could be in hot water now if someone else had seen them, and you had nothing to do with it.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

renodeb 01-30-2015 12:53 PM

I must say thats a new one on me! I bet you were furious!

LysesKids 01-30-2015 12:54 PM

Turn him in and terminate...

Unregistered 01-30-2015 01:53 PM

What! Insane!!

daycare 01-30-2015 01:59 PM

Waaaaatttthhh...Just when I thought that i had heard it all.....thats just plain STUPIDITY..

so what did you do? did you let them stay or did you make dcp pick up and term on the spot?


I once termed a father because he dropped hid kid off at my driveway at the age of 3. Luckily the child was smart enough to come straight to the door.

I have in my PHB that parents must make face contact with me when picking up and dropping off.

crazydaycarelady 01-30-2015 02:23 PM

I'd probably term just because I wouldn't want to work with anyone that stupid.

permanentvacation 01-30-2015 02:31 PM

First of all, I would have immediately called 911 and reported that the parent left 2 children under 2 years of age unattended in your yard. I would have done that IMMEDIATELY! I would have done so for 2 reasons. If the parent does that once, they will most likely do it again whether at your house or leaving them in the car at the store, wherever, but the next time, the children might get kidnapped or wonder off or who knows what. Also, I would have reported it to the police to cover myself so no one would be able to say that I left the children out back while I took the others on a walk.

I would have also, as soon as I saw the parent, would have immediately handed them whatever belongings their children had at my house and told them to never return to my daycare. You certainly can't take a chance on the parent abandoning the children outside of your home again!

Josiegirl 01-30-2015 02:39 PM

Oh my :( WTH did you do or say to him? I would've read him the riot act of the year then told him to leave. :( How long was he gone? It doesn't even matter....2 kids under 2 yo left by themselves. You just don't do that.

KiddieCahoots 01-30-2015 02:41 PM

Omg! Not even 2 yrs........ no words........:eek:

Crazy8 01-30-2015 02:43 PM

Ummmm…. where are there payphones anymore??? Sorry, story smells fishy to me.

AuntTami 01-30-2015 02:44 PM

He was looking for a PAY PHONE to call you!? This is 2015, who doesn't have cell phones anymore, and even if you DONT have a cellphone, where the heck did he think he was going to find a PAY PHONE!? Does anywhere even have those anymore!? And why the heck didn't he take his kids WITH him!? WHO DOES THAT!?

I agree with everyone else here, I would have termed on the spot, effective immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. In fact, pay me $200 for your childrens spots for the next 2 weeks because now I have to replace you because YOU'RE AN IDIOT! My word! And yes, DEFINITELY call and report that. At the MINIMUM it needs to be reported to licensing so that YOU'RE not in trouble.

CraftyMom 01-30-2015 05:37 PM

He's lying, he didn't go to look for a payphone. He realized his stupidity and came back to get his kids. He thought twice of leaving them knowing you were not there and didn't know when you would return since they weren't expected until 10. He started thinking about how this could go wrong and how he would be in trouble or his kids could get hurt. Not to mention his wife would be pissed! Imagine his surprise when he came back and you were there and caught him, so he quickly came up with the payphone story to cover his butt (not very convincingly).

daycare 01-30-2015 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AuntTami (Post 520990)
He was looking for a PAY PHONE to call you!? This is 2015, who doesn't have cell phones anymore, and even if you DONT have a cellphone, where the heck did he think he was going to find a PAY PHONE!? Does anywhere even have those anymore!? And why the heck didn't he take his kids WITH him!? WHO DOES THAT!?

I agree with everyone else here, I would have termed on the spot, effective immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. In fact, pay me $200 for your childrens spots for the next 2 weeks because now I have to replace you because YOU'RE AN IDIOT! My word! And yes, DEFINITELY call and report that. At the MINIMUM it needs to be reported to licensing so that YOU'RE not in trouble.

that was my thought too....I saw a pay phone the other day in the hospital and was like WOW that's an antique.,.... My kids were even amazed by it and were like wow we have never seen one before, then they recalled they saw them at the airport.

So I guess he must have been driving to the nearest hospital or airport because to my knowledge those are the only two places they still exists. I agree he is lying, made up that stupid story.

btw where is the OP, can we get an update.

Former Teacher 01-31-2015 07:40 AM

Regarding the comments that this post doesn't sound right etc.... As Judge Judy says:

If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck....its a duck! :lol:

Unregistered 01-31-2015 08:07 AM

Leaving toddlers unattended in your back yard absolutely needs to be reported!

Perhaps the original poster is not from the U.S. Here in Canada, pay phones are still pretty common. I can picture 3 within a 10-15 minute walking distance of my house, and there are likely more fairly close by.

I am often without a cell phone, and learned quickly while traveling in the States that payphones are less common. I asked where they were in a U.S. airport once, and the lady looked at me like I had 3 heads and said they had not had them in YEARS.

AuntTami 01-31-2015 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 521067)
Leaving toddlers unattended in your back yard absolutely needs to be reported!

Perhaps the original poster is not from the U.S. Here in Canada, pay phones are still pretty common. I can picture 3 within a 10-15 minute walking distance of my house, and there are likely more fairly close by.

I am often without a cell phone, and learned quickly while traveling in the States that payphones are less common. I asked where they were in a U.S. airport once, and the lady looked at me like I had 3 heads and said they had not had them in YEARS.

Isn't it really cold in Canada? (Serious question?) That would make the situation worse then, cuz no only are they unattended outside but they were left in the cold!?

Unregistered 01-31-2015 10:25 AM

Yes around -20 with windchill many mornings here lately. So he would have to be a special level of stupid to leave toddlers out in that. Has been unusually warm out in western Canada though.

Annalee 01-31-2015 11:48 AM

If "leaving the kids alone in the backyard" really took place, then the provider is just as guilty if she doesn't report it. :ouch:

Unregistered 02-03-2015 12:51 PM

I believe that he was actually going to find a phone. I guess he could have tried to use the gas station's phone. He told me that he left his cell at home. The station is a one minute drive, so I assume he was only gone for a couple of minutes. I am not saying that that makes it OK.

I could tell as soon as I saw him that he realized how stupid of an idea that was. I didn't have much time to react. I was in such shock of what just happened. These parents are very to the point and always drop off and pick up so quickly. I can't even speak to them most of the time because the children are screaming.

Anyway, I have not reported this incident. I thought long and hard about it. It will only hurt both parties involved if I were to report it. Plus I will lose 2 children right off the bat. I honestly believe that it was a terrible mistake on his part. I do not think that these parents abuse or neglect their children.

What would happen if I report? They would know it was me, I would lose the children, the children may get taken from them.....how would that ultimately help them?

Yes, I get it, I should technically report this but it puts me in a real hard spot. These guys have been coming here for a while now and I have good relations with them. I think it was a really stupid mistake and won't happen again.

Unregistered 02-03-2015 12:55 PM

You all can judge me for my decision on this, but you might feel differently if you were in my place.

Would you really automatically report and term a dcf that you've worked with for a long time? You would have to really think about it anyway.....and it would be very hurtful on both ends.

daycare 02-03-2015 01:04 PM

We can just all agree to disagree...

I would NEVER ever allow a parent to put their stupidity on me.

preschoolteacher 02-03-2015 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 521477)
You all can judge me for my decision on this, but you might feel differently if you were in my place.

Would you really automatically report and term a dcf that you've worked with for a long time? You would have to really think about it anyway.....and it would be very hurtful on both ends.

Yes, without hesitation, if a parent left kids that young unattended. And in the cold! Seriously.

Your business relationship and your personal finances are not more important than those babies' safety and well being.

Unregistered 02-03-2015 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preschoolteacher (Post 521482)
Yes, without hesitation, if a parent left kids that young unattended. And in the cold! Seriously.

Your business relationship and your personal finances are not more important than those babies' safety and well being.

It is not just about money and the business relationship. I felt that reporting this may actually turn out bad for the babies' well being.

What if your sister did this same thing? Would you automatically call the cops on her?

LysesKids 02-03-2015 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 521485)
It is not just about money and the business relationship. I felt that reporting this may actually turn out bad for the babies' well being.

What if your sister did this same thing? Would you automatically call the cops on her?

I would , but then in most states being a mandated reporter has consequences for not reporting... like being fined, loosing your daycare license or even having your own kids taken away. My liability trumps everything and no offense, my kids are my life; BTW, I have turned in 3 parents over 15 years... all were good calls according to CPS

Unregistered 02-03-2015 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LysesKids (Post 521489)
I would , but then in most states being a mandated reporter has consequences for not reporting... like being fined, loosing your daycare license or even having your own kids taken away. My liability trumps everything and no offense, my kids are my life; BTW, I have turned in 3 parents over 15 years... all were good calls according to CPS

Really? I am curious to know what kind of things you called on parents for.

Honestly I am not an idiot, and I care about the children. I am just having a really hard time with this.

Haven't been in the business too long so haven't dealt with this sort of thing yet.

I definitely see both sides of the situation though.

daycare 02-03-2015 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 521492)
Really? I am curious to know what kind of things you called on parents for.

Honestly I am not an idiot, and I care about the children. I am just having a really hard time with this.

Haven't been in the business too long so haven't dealt with this sort of thing yet.

I definitely see both sides of the situation though.

you let this slide, what will happen next? I don't see this ending well for you...

momofsix 02-03-2015 02:11 PM

If there were two kids, siblings, both UNDER two years old? I would have to assume one of them wasn't even walking yet! (unless they are twins) Both are of an age where they put things in their mouths and could choke at any time. The possibilities of what could have happened are too scary to even think of. MAYBE if the kids were older I would debate with myself about calling. No way would I even debate it with babies like this. I probably would have even told the parent "Hey, sorry, but you know I have to report something like this. It's not something I can let slide."

CraftyMom 02-03-2015 05:02 PM

Did you talk to them about it? I know you said they pick up and drop off quickly, but if you didn't report then I would assume you spoke with them and told them how serious it is and YOUR license is at risk and it can NEVER happen again

I'm not sure what I would do honestly, I might call my licensor and get her opinion and give her a heads up in case an neighbors tried to accuse ME of leaving them there.

Is it cold where you are?

hope 02-03-2015 06:00 PM

There is no reason dcd couldn't put the 2 children in the car to go to the gas station to make the call to you. They could have choked, tripped and landed on a rock or stick, panicked because they were left alone, climb fence, not to mention any wild life that could cause harm. I wouldn't allow one child out of my sight for a second in my yard. It is not too late to make the call.

Unregistered 02-03-2015 07:02 PM

Origional poster I can understand that this is a difficult position that you're in. But you need to think of what if. What if the child was hurt on your property and the parents turned around and sued you. Does that sound outrageous? Of course it is. But you can lose everything just because of their stupidity. How would you like it if somebody else complained and CPS came and took your kids because of this family? If you absolutely want to still keep them I would insist on them getting parenting classes and make sure that you get some form of proof that they attended.

But personally I would be calling CPS. This is just too much of a liability. But this is your business and it's up to you.

LysesKids 02-04-2015 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 521492)
Really? I am curious to know what kind of things you called on parents for.

Honestly I am not an idiot, and I care about the children. I am just having a really hard time with this.

Haven't been in the business too long so haven't dealt with this sort of thing yet.

I definitely see both sides of the situation though.

My very first call happened 6 months into my first year... Single mom was a nurse... 2 kids both under 4, little girl (2.5) got bit on her behind by their dog & mom didn't tell me; changed babies diaper ( she was crying that she hurt too) , her but was severely bruised & cut - called mom to come take her to ER (Mom was 5 minutes from me at the hospital) - nope she refused, said her job was more important than kids injury - called CPS, told them and guess what - turns out she had another possible neglect already - Mom took kids & left the state the next day with CPS chasing her.

2nd one same year, Mom decided to whip her child in front of all the daycare n kids & my own after I told her it wasn't allowed in my home ( it was at pickup and he had been acting out bad); WV doesn't allow spanking kids (even your own) for punishment and this was a whipping ( kid was 5)... yeah, so not happening on my watch - again called CPS as she left

3rd time Mom came to pick up her disabled child on Date night and she had been drinking... told her I was calling cops and CPS if she left with her child, that I would gladly call a cab for her to get home ( on her dime)... nope she started arguing and tried to hit me ( again in front of my own child) and she took off with her daughter... cops arrested her less than a block from my house

finsup 02-04-2015 09:06 AM

I would (and have) reported parents for this. Nobody has tried it here but in the school setting I used to work in, it happened more then I expected to say the least. There were always excuses, some legitimate, some not. Bottom line though, its not my job to make that call. My job is to report it. Cps takes it from there. Of course if it happened with a dcp, *if* I let them stay (and that's a big if) there would be a signed drop off agreement and strict rules put in place. And yes, I would still report in addition to that.

Annalee 02-04-2015 09:17 AM

OP, look at this angle....What if someone saw those kids alone in your backyard and turned YOU in thinking you left them there ALONE?????? I would call simply to cover your own back and put the blame on the parent because this could have easily backfired on you! :ouch:


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