Sucking the Fun Out of Christmas!!! What to Do
I do not have a religious program here at my daycare/preschool.
I teach my focus on winter, Snow, winter animals, and the commercial side of Christmas. So today DCM walks in and says "We are not doing Santa"!!!!!!! Ok, please explain what you mean... DCM goes on to tell me that her son is asking questions about Santa this year and that DCD and her do not feel it is right to LIE to their child about Santa. They don't want to make something up that is not real and then ask their child to believe in it....... This is the only American custom I know and I will teach this to my child.... Sooooooo.. NOW what???????????? I didnt really know what to say. I thought I was in the clear with avoiding the religious side of it, but guess not What do all of you do? |
I'd probably tell her I am closed the week of Christmas to keep it from being an issue. :p
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Originally Posted by Catherder: but funny!!! Seriously....People have to many darn issues these days....lol UUUGHGHGHHGHGHHG |
So is she saying she doesn't want you and the kids talking about Santa??? That would be a hard one! MMMMMmmmmmm
Wait-does Nan have any ideas? |
Originally Posted by Country Kids: We are a Christian family and observe Christian holidays and celebrations. |
Originally Posted by nannyde: I just view Santa as a commercial thing |
This is a home based daycare. Because of this, the children will be exposed to our family's and other families personal, political, and religious beliefs at times. If you find this offensive, please ask for a schedule of events and arrange for back up on the days you choose for your child not to participate. Payment is still required on these days as the daycare is open and you are choosing for your child not to attend. Holidays are decorated in this home so if this is offensive, please choose another daycare arrangement. Thank you!
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I recently read a sample letter that was meant for an older child that is finding out that santa is not real. I will tey and find it later as im on my tablet now but it was on Pinterest and it really positioned the "Lie" in a positive light, made me cry even. So I will try to find it for you and maybe show mom? It would probably change her mind!
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Originally Posted by JenNJ: |
Originally Posted by nannyde: Why didnt you tell me this before I printed out my PHB!!! lol just kidding... BUT really...just when I thought I had it all covered!!!!! |
Originally Posted by Meeko60: |
Originally Posted by daycare: If you are doing Santa activities with the other dck's, ask Mom what she would like her child to do in lieu of them. Expand on the other winter themes, maybe? If she observes the holiday in a religious manner, maybe she can find some activities that agree with her beliefs and send them along with the child. |
We don't do Santa with our kids either :o. BUT, we do make sure they understand not to ruin it for other kids if they choose to believe in Santa.
If you do address "Santa" with the dc kids, what about reading stories about St. Nicholas? That way you're not "lying" but you're also educating the kids on the basis behind the idea of Santa, and how he was all about giving to others. |
There was a really heated thread called "Santa Claus" , I added tags to find it. :ouch:
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you know what, its going to back fire on her, she can't control everyone. I will bet you that her ds still talks about him. I would still do a santa theme, why ruin it for everyone. Ok, why is it now a big deal with her but not the previous years.
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Maybe Mom is just saying "Don't tell my kid any lies"...?
She might be fine with you doing Santa Projects and reading Santa Books, but not promising her child anything from Santa? If the child is old enough, I'd ask the parents to remind their child not to ruin it for the other kids. If he or she is little, there's nothing you can do. We avoid the religious part of Christmas, but I do the commercial stuff too. That includes Santa and Reindeer. |
well, we have a Santa that is coming for cookies and milk the Friday before Christmas. He will bring a gift to each child.
We are also going to do x-mas wish list to santa..... I guess I can do as someone said since I still have time and print out a list of activities for the month. I will let them choose and decide when they will or won't participate... |
Originally Posted by Meeko60: |
Originally Posted by Breezy: I am going to print it out......... |
you still do your Santa stuff and tell her the days and times it will be done if she doesn't want her child to know that she can have her child at home that day. :) happyface
done it before i also have 2 kids that don't do santa but never had a problem with my santa stuff :) |
daycare...don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I mean it very nicely. But--
WHERE do you find all these "wonderful" parents? Crazy-Mart?! You do seem to have quite the interesting bunch! |
Originally Posted by daycare: We do celebrations here. That includes the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns, Rudolph, and anything else I want to do. It's MY house. |
LMAO................I live in the land of the fruits and NUTs......CALIFORNIA!!!
Seriously, I have some interesting parents to say the least.... And all of them are "professionals" Lawyers, doctors, business owners.... |
This is why I don't do ANY holiday related "teaching" or "crafts"
I'm personally not big on celebrating holidays anyway, but other than that, we live in a VERY diverse country and there will almost always be a family who practices other beliefs. I would not want a teacher or provider teaching my kids about holidays/rituals/etc. that I didn't agree with, and I respect other families in the same way. I realize that this family does celebrate Chritmas, but do understand their choice to be honest with their child. Besides all that, it saves me a TON of time and work not doing the crafts that are never really appreciated by the parents anyway. ;) |
Originally Posted by Crystal: I just don't know what this mom wants me to do... Like I said in my previous post, I will type out a calendar of our events and let the mom decide what her child can participate in. BUT I refuse to not allow it in my home, as this is what I teach my own children and I have no plans to change it... |
Originally Posted by daycare: |
Originally Posted by Breezy: Two of them already responded and said they had to leave their desks to hide in the bathroom... WONDERFUL ARTICLE |
We do Santa. Cant people treat it like a story if they dont like lying to their kids?
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Originally Posted by Breezy: |
I would say...
I'm sorry, but we have fun with the holidays here. Our main focus is not on "santa" it is on the joy of the holidays. Santa may or may not be brought up during the day and I hope you will bare with us during this exciting time in every child's life. Then I would send home a bunch of santa crafts. LOL!!! ;) |
I would let her know that if Santa projects or discussions come up, her child will be separated from the group in accordance with her beliefs and they will be given an alternative craft or activity to do. you will not tailor the groups activities for one child.
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I too don't focus on any of the religious aspects of the holidays primarily because I am not Christian in any way like most of my clients have been. Religion (in my opinion) is something for the parents to teach their kids not me. I too focus on winter. This year I got FunShine express curriculum and am ignoring most of their holiday stuff as we don't do Christmas here. We do celebrate though. I made a holiday and called it Children's Day. I get/give gifts on Children's Day to all the kids and parents. We spend most of December decorating for Children's Day and I tell them all that it's because they are the light in our world. We celebrate them more in the dark months because they light our world and we forget about the darkness when they are happy and celebrating. They do this all year but in the winter we see it more and spend the time to truly relish it. FunShine Express sends out a book in each curriculum pack and I love the one for December. It takes the song Jingle Bells and elaborates to explain how children celebrate all around the world. I will make one change as I read it by changing the word Christmas to Winter to be more accepting of other beliefs. Santa is one thing I've never excluded because he is a believed in by many cultures and is non-religious. (St. Nick is not the only Santa out there.)
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Well, I feel sorry for this little boy who asked about Santa to their parents. I can understand they don't want to lie him about it but they shouldn't say, "well the Santa is not real" and it sounds harsh. My 9 year old daughter who still believes in Santa. Last year or two, she told me some of them told my daughter that santa is not real. I asked well what do you think and she said I still believe in Santa. I told her it is fine for you to believe in Santa and don't listen to your friends who don't believe in Santa. At least, I was honest with her and it is her choice. I don't want to tell her, honey, yes, it is not real. It will crush her if she found out it is not real. I want her found out on her own like I did. I found out Santa was not real when I was 10 years old when I caught my parents put presents under the tree after midnight. t doesn't crush me and I accept it.
If his mother dont want do it then don't bring him in that day if you are doing Santa things with other kids. It isn't fair to other kids who still believe in Santa. |
I am going to do the usual Christmas stuff this year but will be adding some Kwanza and Hanukkah decorations as well. These three represent the major Religious Holidays celebrated in my community.
My DCK's are all 3 and under so mostly we will read story books and see images depicting families celebrating together. Nothing "threatening" to parents beliefs, at least I hope they see it that way. :p I am doing this with my own children as well. They each have been asking about their friends religions so it will be the perfect opportunity to make their worlds and minds a bit bigger. I'd like to add more as I go, but first I have to educate myself more....;) It has been really interesting talking to my kids about things they have found out from their research. |
Originally Posted by daycare: I suggest putting somthing like that in your handbook for future reference and to end future possible problems. Something like this... we celebrate the major holidays and the characters therin. Cant recall exactly what mine says but it's like that. As for now I would tell her she didn't have a problem in the past and your beliefs haven't changed and won't change. Then offer her December off. Good luck with this one! |
Originally Posted by Catherder: I've started doing some simple lapbooks with my DD and the little kids want to do them too, and I think that a "Winter Celebration" study would be perfect for December. I feel a Target trip coming up... |
My center belongs to a Baptist Church, so while we don't run a "religious" program, we are free to teach about and incorporate elements of God and spirituality in our curriculums.
I don't focus on any pagan or commercial "characters" associated with holidays...Santa, the Easter Bunny, leprechauns, Halloween. I don't discourage the children from talking about it or even talking to me about it, but I don't teach it, read books about or do activities on it. My "Christmas" curriculum will focus on winter, giving/friendship/family, yuletide traditions and the Christian meaning of Christmas. I'm even going to stick some Kwanzaa in there. I understand her rejection of Santa for her child. But that's my own personal opinion. However, whatever activities/lessons you want to teach is your prerogative. You shouldn't have to change it to accommodate one child, especially one who has been with you several years, and whose parent knows what your curriculum is. She basically said to you "I demand special from you". Its her responsibility to educate her child. She doesn't have to do Santa, but she can't tell you that you can't. I'd just tell her that the curriculum has already been planned out, and you'll TRY to provide him with alternative activities during the time you guys are doing Santa stuff. |
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Originally Posted by daycare: You can give her your calendar and she can pick and choose which days she sends her child. She may wish to avoid the day with Santa. Whatever. I don't stress "Santa" in my household but my son still believes in him. In fact, he's only been to see Santa and sit on his lap, etc. once in his life. The local Fire Company makes a round with Santa waving from the Fire Truck every year. That's as much Santa he gets. I still wrap presents from us and from Santa. While I think the letter on the link above is nice, I think it's beyond the comprehension of a child that is still questioning. I think the Public Schools have gone overboard as usual with trying to be politically correct when it comes to this season. My son brings home Gingerbread men, Menorahs and Kwanzaii projects. I smile and put them on my fridge but deep inside I say to myself, "Where is the Nativity?". That's why I bring him to Church so that he can learn about the true meaning of the season for us. To each his/her own. |
There is a great book out there that maybe you could tell the parents about. It explains the story behind St. Nicholas and the truth with that story. It's a great Christian story for kids.
It's called... Santa are You For Real? http://www.amazon.com/Santa-Are-You-...2710402&sr=8-1 I don't know why it's so expensive on amazon (I paid $12 a few years ago) but you can read some of the reviews here about it. So it doesn't take away all the magic and puts a little bit of truth behind the concept. |
Your home, your daycare, your choice. Politely let the mother know that you've chosen to celebrate Christmas and your children (at least your little one) believe in Santa Claus and your not changing that at this time.
Her child, her home, her decisions. Have they chosen to not celebrate Christmas or just the commercialization? And for those who are celebrating but calling it another name, you are still celebrating Christmas and the gift giving. That reminds me of the local churches that do not celebrate Halloween, but have a Harvest Festival instead. They have big carnivals with costumes and candy on Oct 31. They can call it what they want, but they're still celebrating Halloween. |
History of Santa
Santa Claus - Wikipedia
Jolly ol' St. Nick has been interpreted in many forms, from many different cultures and has a rather long history based on folklore. Most of the lore is based on a real person, however! Here is the version of which most Western Cultures derive Santa from: Originally Posted by Wikipedia: |
Originally Posted by sharlan: |
just curious, what is the reasoning for the mom not wanting to do christmas.
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Originally Posted by countrymom: I think they just have chosen not to do Santa. But, hopefully the parents realize that Santa is everywhere during Christmas. So, while she doesn't have to say "Yes, Santa is real", the child will still need to be exposed to it during the Holidays. It's just a character. *SPOILER ALERT!!* ↓↓↓↓↓↓ Mickey Mouse isn't real either. So, if they go to Disney World and they take pictures with Mickey, are they going to make sure he knows it's not Mickey..because Mickey isn't real? Maybe they will say "It's just costumes" but, they certainly don't expect the characters to clear out of the park because their family knows the truth. The characters are just part of the atmosphere. Just like Santa is part of the Christmas season. I'm willing to bet the MOm knows this, and is fine with it, but just wants to give the provider a heads up, that they aren't doing the whole Santa thing with their own kids. |
Originally Posted by youretooloud: |
Originally Posted by sharlan: I once chased Winnie the Pooh down the road to get a picture with him. "POOH!!! POOOOOOOOOHHHH!" |
so mom is having issues with santa or the whole christmas thing. I don't understand. Is she still giving gifts and singing songs and decorating and not including santa, it just sounds like they don't want to do santa because they don't want to buy presents from santa.
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Originally Posted by countrymom: |
Originally Posted by countrymom: They said that they don't want to encourage any part of lying. ???????????/ |
Originally Posted by daycare: BUT--I can see some fanatical parents not "getting" it. |
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25: You would think that with him being so young, they would say something like that, but they didint |
[quote=daycare;172063]LMAO................I live in the land of the fruits and NUTs......CALIFORNIA!!!
QUOTE] I agree :lol: One year when I was teaching 1st grade in California, we didn't do an "easter bunny" craft like the other 1st grade classrooms did(It was my first or second year teaching). To me Easter is about SO MUCH MORE than easter bunnies and wasn't going to do anything big since it was a public school - other than a spring celebration with cookies and a movie of some kind. But apparently to one of the girls in my room Bunnies was a big deal. , she likes bunnies and told her mom she was upset that we didn't make the bunny craft so the mom went to the principal(Not me) to complain and I got called into the office and wrote up - REALLY OVER A STUPID CRAFT PROJECT!!! |
[quote=caring4kidsinSD;172429]
Originally Posted by daycare: As I can see you are no longer being refereed to as a nut or a fruit anymore...lol South Dakota...Freezing cold yet?/ |
We don't do Santa Claus per se. We celebrate Christmas with decorating, making fun wintery/Christmas type crafts, we have a Christmas Dinner and each of the children get a gift from me. :)
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Originally Posted by daycare: |
Originally Posted by wdmmom: I talked to the mom this morning about it and she said that she realizes that we will still have santa activities, and she does not care what I say to him. She said that she and her husband WONT be the ones promoting it. I told her yesterday in a joking manor (but serious) Why WHY WHY suck the life out of Christmas at such a young age. AND I don't mean him, I mean you... DOn't you still want that magical moment when he wakes up xmas morning and see the look on his face for all that santa did?? She laughed and said she would talk to me in the morning. I'm happy that she is not expecting me to change my ways.....Cuz as much as I love this family, I wouldn't....lol |
Originally Posted by daycare: Christmas can be magical and joyous with or without Santa. I get that the parents don't want to promote lying to their child and by doing that, they are somewhat taking from their child a fun and magical time in a child's life, but in another way, there are all kinds of ways to celebrate christmas that don't include Santa himself. What I am taking from this issue that mom is having is that they (the parents) don't want to lie to their child but don't mind that you talk about and include Santa in your daycare celebrations. The problem I would have is that if that is what they choose for their child....then they have a responsibility to make sure the child understands that he may not ruin the magical idea of Santa for the other kids he comes into contact with. I would be respectful of the fact that they don't want to lie to their child but parents need to understand that when they choose to take certain parenting paths, they also have to do the work that comes along with it. |
I guess for me it's VERY important to teach about diversity and tolerance and that starts when children are very young. My parent's and I grew up Catholic however now I consider myself Christan. Even though my parents were hard-core Catholics they encouraged me to learn about other cultures and religions. They spoke to friends and neighbors of different religions and had me visit with them on their days of worship and go with them to services. I learned a lot about other people. I continued to do this as I got older and in high school I even studied with Christians, Jehovahs witnesses and Jewish people. It really opened my eyes to how similar our religions really were and I learned the reasons for their beliefs.
This I think made it easier for me to be more tolerant and open to respecting other people's beliefs. I run my daycare based on this idea also. As soon as potential clients walk in the door I let them know that we learn about and celebrate ALL types of holidays and celebrations. I guess it depends on the families that I have enrolled and what their customs are. I enjoy hearing about their cultures and customs and then finding a fun way to incorporate that into daycare. Somtimes we make food, check what horoscope sign we are, play a game they teach me, sing songs, make a craft about our animal sign (chinese). None of the families that sign up have ever had a problem with it maybe because when we do a project like this we don't go deep into religion or label. For example I had a little girl and they were Jewish so I would say something like "Suzie's mommy shared some fun facts with me. Suzie's family believes that a long time ago there were people that wouldn't let families like Suzie's believe in what they wanted so those people tried very hard to get their temple back. When they finally did they wanted to celebrate by lighting a flame with oil that would last forever but they only had enough oil to keep the flame burning for one day. But do you know what happened? The oil kept the flame burning for 8 whole days until they could get more oil! Isn't that amazing? Suzie's family now lights a menorah with 8 candles on it. They light one candle each day to represent all of the days that the flame stayed lit with that little bit of oil." We do the same for Santa, Jesus, the Easter bunny etc. As odd as it seems even my Jehovah's witness family was fine with us having a Christmas tree, however I respected their request to not give their children Christmas gifts and gave the rest of the DC kids their gifts after this family went home for the day. Of course I consider myself very lucky to be able to do this and because it's so easy and fluid when we do. Like I said however, my familes know ahead of time that it's important for me to do this and to be able to have all of the children celebrate their beliefs, customs and cultures here in small ways. |
Originally Posted by daycare: |
I stand clear of religion.
For one religion is something very serious. In my country where I grew up, you don't get to decide what religion you are and if you go against your government, you can be killed. In america there is so much freedom and choice, which is why I love this country. Each day I live in amazement of the freedom that Americans have, but are still so unhappy people, well a lot of them are. Here the term "it is your choice" really is true, because as Americans you can CHOOSE to do or NOT to do something. Just the other day a young man came to my door to ask me to read his bible about the Mormon religion. This was a first that I have ever experienced this. I was so taken back by his bravery and courage. As this is something that you would be killed for in my old home country. I did listen to what he had to say, but in the end told him that I wished him well and that I would save it for a day when I might be more open minded. (My father was in the back of my head telling me don't touch it...lol) Anyway, I do love that each family has their own traditions and beliefs, I just want to be like everyone else and be allowed to choose and practice what I believe too. thanks for sharing your story.and sorry for gong off track... |
they don't want to lie about santa, but what are they going to say about the tooth fairy, easter bunny oh that mcdonalds is NOT open 24hours a day. Funny thing that they don't want to lie about that but I bet you they lie about other things.
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Originally Posted by countrymom: The whole thing is, it's HER child and she can teach her/him how she so chooses. As long as she is respectful of the provider, I don't see how it should matter. |
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