Altercation Between Preschooler and Toddler
 

Verbal preschooler, semi-verbal toddler. I got enough out of the toddler (and my own adult ability to extrapolate) to know what happened...toddler wanted the barn open, preschooler wanted it closed, preschooler tried to keep it shut and pinched part of toddlers arm in the door.

How do you handle the discussion? Do you try to get the preschooler to tell you his side of what happened (this is usually what I do between two older kids) or do you just present what you know happened (even though you didn't see it...you just know). Or do you say, "Toddler says you pinched his arm in the farm..."

I'm having a hard time with this because the preschoolers seem to have a difficult time telling the truth. They tell what they want to be true...but in the process lie over and over again. Today's incident included the preschooler thinking I would believe that the barn did it by itself. :rolleyes::lol: ("Do you really think I'm going to believe that?" "Um...yes. I think you believe that.") The toddler in question is only semi-verbal and can't really present his side of the incident.

Help give me direction...these sorts of things happen a lot...

First thought is that the preschooler didn't necessarily intentionally hurt the toddler. Although he was trying to assert his will over the little one, he couldn't necessarily say "if I push the door shut, little guy will get hurt, and that's what I want". More "I want the door shut, and I'm bigger".

I would not ask for his side of the story. I would simply show HOW it happened, and ask preschooler to be more gentle. "Being bigger than little guy means you could really hurt him. Please be more gentle with your friends." Or even "I KNOW you can be more gentle...I believe in you!".

Also...

"Next time, if someone is in your way, and you're having a problem, please ask me for help instead of pushing. I will come help as soon as I can".

Originally Posted by Heidi:
First thought is that the preschooler didn't necessarily intentionally hurt the toddler. Although he was trying to assert his will over the little one, he couldn't necessarily say "if I push the door shut, little guy will get hurt, and that's what I want". More "I want the door shut, and I'm bigger".

I would not ask for his side of the story. I would simply show HOW it happened, and ask preschooler to be more gentle. "Being bigger than little guy means you could really hurt him. Please be more gentle with your friends." Or even "I KNOW you can be more gentle...I believe in you!".

Also...

"Next time, if someone is in your way, and you're having a problem, please ask me for help instead of pushing. I will come help as soon as I can".

likethis

I personally always side with the younger one anyway - it's my older kids jobs to play carefully with the little ones. If they don't feel that they can play carefully (nicely) they need to find something else to do.