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-   -   Feeling Desperate and Powerless (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46382)

justgettingstarted 05-31-2012 01:58 PM

Feeling Desperate and Powerless
 
My son is 2.5 and has become an absolute monster doing everything I tell him not to even hitting me which he has never ever done. He started refusing to take naps the last two days. All of my other kids are asleep on their cots and he was just rolling around, smiling and playing. I finally gave up and put him in his own bed and thought he'd finally give up and go to sleep. An hour later it was quiet so I went to check on him and he was wide awake sitting up in his bed smiling. I told him everyone else was asleep and to lay down and if he didn't take his nap he wouldn't get to do art time which is his favorite. He's still crying his head off and already woke up one dck. I feel like a terrible mom I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm having such a bad day now and feel like crying (especially since I'm just a few weeks pregnant and my hormones are going crazy). Any advice would really help. If I wasn't doing daycare it wouldn't be such a big deal but he keeps waking everyone else up and some are much younger and really need their naps!

daycare123 05-31-2012 02:01 PM

i will be watching this thread my daughter who just turned 3 decided awhile ago that she doesn't need to nap and is just a bear by 6pm.

spud912 05-31-2012 02:15 PM

My daughter went through that stage. I thought....maybe she's done with naps. After a few days of keeping her up, I quickly realized that she does need her naps, it's just a power struggle. I hate to say it, but it just takes time to get through that stage. It sounds like you're doing everything right.

I found that 18 months-24 months old and 2 1/2 to 3 years old are a couple of the worst "stages." The 18 month-old children lack communication skills and fine motor skills and get easily frustrated as a result. The 2 1/2 year old children like to test boundaries and power struggle. It does improve somewhat after they turn 3, but not nearly as much as you would like. My daughter is 3 and 2 months, so I will let you know when there is drastic improvement.

The only thing that really worked with my daughter (who is quite the fire bomb) was to lock her in her room during nap times and let her do whatever. It sounds terrible, but it usually would put her to sleep within 10 minutes once she realized she lost the battle. Then I would sneak and unlock it so she would not have a meltdown when she woke up. The occasional ornery day now only takes a quick threat to lock the door to straighten her up.

SunnyDay 05-31-2012 02:35 PM

My daughter is usually a rock solid sleeper but she has gone through a few phases where she just goofs around at naptime. Just be consistent and keep him on his usual schedule and hopefully this phase won't last long!

justgettingstarted 05-31-2012 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spud912 (Post 233852)
My daughter went through that stage. I thought....maybe she's done with naps. After a few days of keeping her up, I quickly realized that she does need her naps, it's just a power struggle. I hate to say it, but it just takes time to get through that stage. It sounds like you're doing everything right.

I found that 18 months-24 months old and 2 1/2 to 3 years old are a couple of the worst "stages." The 18 month-old children lack communication skills and fine motor skills and get easily frustrated as a result. The 2 1/2 year old children like to test boundaries and power struggle. It does improve somewhat after they turn 3, but not nearly as much as you would like. My daughter is 3 and 2 months, so I will let you know when there is drastic improvement.

The only thing that really worked with my daughter (who is quite the fire bomb) was to lock her in her room during nap times and let her do whatever. It sounds terrible, but it usually would put her to sleep within 10 minutes once she realized she lost the battle. Then I would sneak and unlock it so she would not have a meltdown when she woke up. The occasional ornery day now only takes a quick threat to lock the door to straighten her up.

Thank you both it's amazing how just hearing that others have gone or are going through something similar can help. I just needed reassurance that I should keep fighting the battle. I had to tell him that he wouldn't be allowed to play trains or do art and let him SCREAM for a while before he finally gave in. It was a short nap but I'm glad I didn't give in. I feel like telling the parents of my newborn dcb that they have it easy and to enjoy!

Crystal 05-31-2012 08:25 PM

I would not put him on a napmat, laying with the other children. it is his home, he should be able to ALWAYS have the sanctity of his own bedroom. And, he should ALWAYS have access to his own room, ANY TIME of the day.

That being said....is it possible for you to spend the 15-20 minutes of nap just BEING with him? Lay down next to him, hold him, read him a book?
I think he just wants his Mommy, all to himself, and he doesn't know how to communicate that to you.

Find some time, when all the other kids are down, to give HIM 100% YOU. :)

Lianne 06-01-2012 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal (Post 233979)
That being said....is it possible for you to spend the 15-20 minutes of nap just BEING with him? Lay down next to him, hold him, read him a book?
I think he just wants his Mommy, all to himself, and he doesn't know how to communicate that to you.

Find some time, when all the other kids are down, to give HIM 100% YOU. :)

I don't have kids of my own but I recently started keeping my 4yr old up for an extra 20-30mins at naptime to work on some kindergarten skills. We do some work sheets or play a board game or some other simple activity that's hard for him to do when the younger ones are awake. Before he goes to bed we sit in my chair (kids aren't allowed in my chair so that's a treat) and read a chapter of a novel together. He wasn't having behaviour issues but he did need some work on some skills for school in the fall. He absolutely loves that time with me. He loves the activities is so proud of his own progress but I think the one on one time with me has been more valuable. I really enjoy that time with him, too.


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