Aggression at Daycare - Need Resources
 

One of my 3 yo DCKs is going through a rough time right now and has started to aggression. It's actually more like frustration and my usual bag of tricks (redirection, firm simple sentences, shadowing etc) isn't cutting it by itself. It's helping but not totally fixing the issue.

He is yelling angrily at the other children when he wants something, crying very loudly when another child doesn't want to do something his way or when I don't agree with him and may throw himself on the floor and wail (example: 10 minutes after snack he said he was hungry and asked for a banana, for many reasons I can't/won't give him one ... we just ate, he already had one, he can eat and eat and eat all day if you let him, if I give him one I have to give everyone else one, it's not meal/snack time anymore and I don't want to into a messy situation where he wants to eat whenever he wants etc etc. and he'll throw himself on the floor and wail). He is also pushing/shoving others back if they get too close or interfere with his play or may throw a toy on the floor if he gets frustrated.

DCM reported him doing this at home and him hitting her before I ever saw any aggression at DC but 3 weeks ago I began to see the frustration and yelling, last week he started throwing himself on the floor and this week I saw shoving. Giving him choices really helped this week (on top of the regular stuff I do) "You can use your words and quiet voice or you can take a minute to yourself in the quiet corner. What is your choice?" "You can play with the blocks properly or you play with something else? Show me your choice".

He is now the kid that when another kid laughs he says "THAT'S TOO LOUD!!!" and I have to address his voice level. :rolleyes:.

I just can't seem to find any resources on other techniques that I can try. All I find online is the typical same parent articles on how to get your child to stop misbehaving at daycare but I need something meant for group care (as in, something that doesn't require 100% of my attention 100% of the time which is easier to do at home if you have 1 or 2 kids). Anyone know of any online resources that can give me good examples of what else I can try?

I don't want to term because I have seen improvements and DCM is on board with me and we've been sharing ideas but I'm still correcting DCB several times a day now for what I said above. I guess my problem is I need it spelled out as in what to say, how to approach and what else to do. Thanks.

Try this one, Marina. There's TONS of stuff here, and it's really good.

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/

Check out the "practical strategies" tab

Originally Posted by Heidi:
Try this one, Marina. There's TONS of stuff here, and it's really good.

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/

Check out the "practical strategies" tab

This was great!

I've spend the last hour snooping around on the site. Thank you for the link :)

I'm never one to throw dx's around, but that's exactly how our little guy with Asperger's/sensory issues acts. Screams but can't stand others to be "too loud", whines for food all the time, constantly yelling at and correcting classmates, aggressive towards friends for "reasons" he feels completely justified for (looking at him, talking, smiling,etc).

Do small things bother him? Things not being in a certain right place, a speck on the table, other kids looking at him, laughing etc?

Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I'm never one to throw dx's around, but that's exactly how our little guy with Asperger's/sensory issues acts. Screams but can't stand others to be "too loud", whines for food all the time, constantly yelling at and correcting classmates, aggressive towards friends for "reasons" he feels completely justified for (looking at him, talking, smiling,etc).

Do small things bother him? Things not being in a certain right place, a speck on the table, other kids looking at him, laughing etc?

No, nothing like that. He's not aggressive just to be aggressive he does it when he feels like someone may take whatever he's playing with or if he thinks someone is going to topple whatever he's making. He's not altogether unjustified in being upset because typically its towards the smaller kids like the 1 yo's that like to walk over and knock stuff down or that pick up whatever they want because they don't know any better but he just can't yell at them or push them KWIM. He also gets upset when a game or something isn't going his way like he doesn't get the car he wants because so and so has it but he has 12 other cars in front of him. Typical preschooler antics but the severity of the behavior has really kicked up dramatically.

About 6 weeks or so DCD got a job in the military that they didn't think he got because he applied like 6 months before and now is gone for 7-12 day stretches at a time and then he's only home for 1-2 days which DCB is not used to and at first he was just confused, then really depressed and now its turned to anger. I just want to find more strategies to try with him. I do feel bad and I understand but I need to be firm but he needs to get that its not appropriate.