I Feel Like A Jerk....But I Think I Shouldn't
The 18 month old that has hearing loss (I posted about last week) is terming. We have been having problems with naps, and behavior, and I have been very open to working with this family on the issues. Ex: moving nap time from 1pm to 2pm, as she seems to nap better at that time. I rearranged the whole day to try to work with them, and have been very understanding about the fact that they didn't tell me she had a hearing loss at the interview.
On Friday, I had a one on one with DCM that I wanted to have a meeting with her and DCD about the actual diagnosis, and after her 18 month appointment, I would need the Dr.'s input on how to move forward. I also have a state reg. form for children with any type of "special need" and I needed it filled out by the Dr. She came today, and I could tell by the way she handed me her crumpled up check, that she was pissed. She told me that DCG only took morning naps now, and I told her that I needed her to take the PM nap, and I was going to try to get her to do that. She seemed like she needed more, so I asked "Where are you right now with keeping DCG here?" and she said "this is not my two weeks notice, but we are looking for other care". She told me she was OFFENDED that I would say that there was something wrong with her child and that she thought I was too frustrated with DCG over the naps. I reassured her that I wasn't frustrated at all, but having an 18 month old not nap, makes for a some what disorganized day, and I feel that I can't finish dishes from lunch, much less make my own lunch. I also assured her that I never said there was something wrong with her kid. (She is obviously taking this very personally, as I think any mom would). She then said that she loves having DCG here, but she is pulling b/c she is offended. :rolleyes: I am slightly torn up about this, that she thinks I'm frustrated, which I am not, maybe annoyed, but I think frustrated is a strong word to use in reference to a child's behavior. And that she thinks I said her kid had something wrong with them. Am I putting too much on this? I should just let this go right? Also- is it fair for me to give her two weeks now, so I can fill the spot? :( |
Originally Posted by MCC: |
Originally Posted by momofboys: |
Originally Posted by momofboys: On the flip side, have you thought about maybe another face-to-face conversation with this family? Maybe explain how you have their child's best interests at heart and you NEVER said anything was wrong...just that you are concerned about you KNOW to be true...ie needing hearing aides etc.. I understand that her (DCM's) feelings are hurt but in all honesty, she can't get "offended" and hurt every time someone tries to do what's best for her child.... she'll need to get over that or she will do her child no good in years to come. If sitting down with her is not something you really want to do, perhaps writing an e-mail explaining your thoughts/feelings about the situation may help. Sounds like the DCM is emotional right now about this and maybe once she calms down and starts hearing what you said verses how it makes her feel, she maybe more open to actually listening. Good luck and keep us posted as to what happens. :) |
Honestly, the fact that she loves having her daughter with you, but is moving because she feels offended is childish. If you love the daycare, put on your big girl panties and deal with being offended.
However, I will say I have never had a case where I brought up a concern about special needs go well. Parents always get offended, no matter how nice and p.c. my terminology is. |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: I am very open to talking to DCM about it more, except, this morning I went outside with her to talk privately (My husband was with the kids) and she said "I can't keep having these conversations everyday." This morning would be the 3rd time we have "talked" more than "DCGs day was fine." If she can't see that I am having these conversations with her to insure that we are moving forward correctly, then I'm not sure what else I can do. You know what? I think I'm offended that she can't see how much time/energy/love I'm putting into this right now! :mad: |
Originally Posted by blandino: I think I would just let this one play out. If you try another meeting, I think the parent's emotions are too raw right now to have them hear a thing you say anyways. They'll just feel more attacked. I'd ride it out until they leave. It sounds as though she'll give you 2 weeks notice. Start looking to fill and if you find someone else then term. If the situation is livable for now, I'd ride it out until they term themselves or you have another client to fill their spot. :hug: |
After all that's been said and done, I would give notice. Since they're looking already, it would be better to have some control on your end. Some families/providers just don't have the right chemistry... not your fault. She probably lost a lot of your trust when she wasn't up front about ds's hearing. Be prepared though, it will probably be hard for her to find a new daycare due ds's issues (no naps, lack of hearing, etc.), so I would probably work with her on a end date so theres a little flexibility on your end. It may soften the blow since she seems emotionally charged. Otherwise it could end up biting you in the butt, if she thinks she's been wronged in any way.
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Originally Posted by MCC: Why bother helping someone who clearly doesn't want the help. :rolleyes: I'd definitely term. I'd give two weeks notice and be CLEAR about the fact that you are doing so because you refuse to be involved with a family that is refusing to see past their emotions and use their heads... I truly feel for their daughter as I see this being an issue for a while no matter where she attends for care. :( |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Agree with terming. Dcm is going to have to deal with this now with you, or later with another provider. You've done your best, time for them to move on.
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It sounds to me at least that dcm seems to hide her daughter's special needs from a provider for the sole purpose of gaining access to care and then "hoping" it goes well. That leaves a provider feeling very unprepared and blind sided. That very well could be what mom does again for the next person. It is unfortunate that she can't get past her own feelings to see that you are trying to work with her on this. Also, an 18 month old should definitely still be sleeping typically 3 hours a day. That may be in one nap or two depending on wake times, etc but at least an afternoon nap that is longer or two shorter naps throughout the day.
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Originally Posted by MCC: |
Originally Posted by MCC: All I can say wow!! I have a hearing loss since birth.. You do not need to get a doctor note about the child's hearing loss. Also you dont need to give her special need form because hearing loss is NOT special needs! I don't blame her mother who feels offended and didn't tell you about her hearing loss at the interview. What she means that she feels offended because you act like there is something wrong with her child that is what she thinks. About the naps, I can understand that it was hard for her. It was pretty normal behavior for that deaf child but I am not sure if you know sign language. In my experience, I do see there is a lot of different behaviors between hearing and deaf children because I have a deaf child, a hearing child and a possibly hearing or hard of hearing baby but he has fluid in both the ears and will go back to the doctor soon to see if it has resolved or not. I can see there is totally different behaviors. Do you know sign language so you can use communicate with your dcg? I wouldn't recommended to have a meeting about the actual diagnosis. That is not right thing to do but you can talk about wanting to work with her behavior or nap issues, that is it. That is why your dcg's parents feel offended for some reason and she wants to pull her child because you said the word "actual diagnosis." If you feel you can't do anything for her then give her a two weeks notice and move on. Just saying... |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Originally Posted by safechner: She isn't saying the child cannot be a fully functioning well adjusted child but there are def additional steps to get her there- |
it is really hard for parents of special needs kids. the transition to accepting what is happening and dealing with it appropriately is not an easy one. i am not at all surprised this is happening to you OP. I would interview for a replacement and then term. you already know that they are leaving at some point but if you can put up with the drama, keep them till you have a start date for the next child.
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Originally Posted by Familycare71: I do know sign language, and I do understand deaf culture, I studied it extensively in college, and have several deaf friends. I understand that being deaf is not a disability. I never used the word disability with the parents. I did however say that I wasn't sure I was the right provider for DCG. I do not know anything about deaf babies and napping, but I do know that this child is cranky/angry/crying most of the afternoon, b/c she isn't getting enough rest. I also do not know any day care providers that would allow a 18 month old to skip nap, but since she is SCREAMING during nap, that is really our only option. Andplusalso- The kid has been prescribed hearing aids, the parents are not giving them to her- if she isn't going to being given the option to hear, she should learn sign here, and at home. Mom and Dad have no interests in teaching/learning sing, so this child is not being given the gift of communication. |
Hearing impaired is not a big deal. No special accommodations needed. As a hh person myself, the only special need I have is "tap me on the shoulder if I appear to have not heard you." Speak to the child when she is facing you, make eye contact, learn and use basic.signs. It's pretty simple. Yes, parents of hh children tend to get offended if you imply (or parents perceive you are implying) that something is "wrong" with their child.
Sounds like the heading impairment is not the main issue,.it's lack of nap,.am I right? Napping and hearing impairment should have nothing to do with each other. If the.child.can't function as part of your group, you should term. But I would leave hearing impairment out of the conversation. Kids learn sign quickly. But YOU have to be willing to learn it yourself. Every child in my program knows yes, no, help, hungry, thirsty, potty and more. Very very basic. Very very easy, it's really not that "special". For what it's worth, not all hearing impaired people use or want hearing aids. I choose to not to. |
Doesn't make one bit of sense to be that the parents refuse hearing aids AND refuse to sign. Very odd. Most choose either, or both. Can't imagine a parent denying a child the gift of communication, on purpose. Super odd.
I have some hard core deaf culture friends, and none of them would advocate NO sign language. Many are anti-hearing aids though, and implants are super controversial among deaf culture advocates. |
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia: I am getting the impression that they don't want to have her wear the aids or teach sign b/c they are in a bit of denial about the situation. The child has no words, none. She doesn't say anything, though she will "hum" a tune, so I know she does hear music and pitch. If I say "fish" to her, she will say "sss" back- she needs therapy, her aids, sign language, something, probably a combination of all- I am not going to be the one to tell them that, but the child deserves to be able to communicate. Yes- for me, the biggest issue is the nap, but the parent is mad/offended anyway, so the nap is a moot point. |
How crushing. :( Many hugs to you. Hopefully they get this child the help they need!
I have had a conference about a child's differences once (I knew the child was on the spectrum but did not outright say that as that would be inappropriate). It went very well. It doesn't always go poorly so don't give up hope in the future. |
likethis
Originally Posted by momofboys: |
Originally Posted by safechner: Why not communicate issues with a parent?? Apparently lack of communication on the parents part at interview is what got them into all this mess. |
first I would be angry as a provider that the parents didn't let you know about the hearing loss.
second, to me it seems like the parents are in denial or they are just too stubborn. Why wouldn't they put hearing aids on the girl. But I also wonder at what degreee is her deafness. I wonder if she was to put tubes in her ears if that would work. also, by the sounds of it, the parents are not doing anything to help the girl, which is sad. now is it a disability, yes and no. At a young age I would say yes just because they need speech therapy, how to use hearing aids.. as for naps, put her down for a nap at your time. No more discussion, who cares what time you put her down or they want her down for as long as its a nap. |
Originally Posted by countrymom: I called licensing the day after I found out, and they said I do need the "child with special needs" form filled out. This form just states whether or not the Dr. thinks my ratios need to change based on the diagnosis. I don't think they will, but I am required to have the form on file, and signed by a Dr. The naps, the real issue- If I put her down at 1 with the rest of the kids, she SCREAMS. The older kids will ignore it and lay still, but they can't fall asleep. The baby can not sleep, and starts to cry as well. I have tried to let her CIO, but she will cry for the entire 2 hour nap if I let her. I moved the nap to 2pm and she will sleep (for less than an hour, but at least it's something!) Mom was SUPER stand offish last night at pick up, came in and said "Let's go DCG" that was it... I sent DCG home at 12 today for suspected pink eye, I'm sure it's just going to make DCM ever more upset, but oh well. |
start looking to fill that spot.
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Originally Posted by MCC: As you mentioned that she can say "hum" but that is how deaf people use it. My hearing husband told me that he hears me to use "mmm" a tune. I tried not to make sounds when I eat or whatever I was doing. My daughter who is profoundly deaf always "hum" or "mmmm" tunes all the time when I hear her. To Familycare71, really!! I am NOT special needs! Look at me, I been running a daycare for 12 years and I worked with hearing children. As of right now, I closed daycare for a while to being a stay home mom with my baby. Deaf people can do anything as hearing people do. |
Originally Posted by safechner: ....I think she is just saying that her state requires she has a form filled out that is titled "special needs"...OP didn't write the rules or the form. :) I also don't think OP is asking for anything "special" from the family...other than to provide the hearing aides that the doctor prescribed for her. If the parents informed the provider that the child is prescribed hearing aides, then I think the provider has every right to require that the child have them while in her home/care. |
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons: Just give parent some time and she will need to learn to accept her child being deaf and she probably will learn sign language to communicate with her child. As far as I know there are so many hearing parents with deaf children and they are too lazy or refused to learn sign language. Deaf children will hate their parents when they get older. Some parents dont want to tell someone about their children who has hearing loss because they dont want them to feel sorry for them. That is probably why parent dont want to tell her in the first place. Truth is, there are so many hearing people feel sorry for deaf people because they think they cant do anything which is not true. I dont care what others think about me. I dont give a **** about them. I have a wonderful life with my family. My hearing family love me when they get know me when I used to take care of their children for 12 years. |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Originally Posted by countrymom: Hope you learn something new... |
Legally, it is considered a disability under ADA/SSI, however it is up to the individual as to whether or not they let it become one. This is probably why the state requires a form.
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Originally Posted by momofboys: likethis |
Originally Posted by safechner: Okay- I did not post this asking if the child was deaf or disabled or hearing impaired or any other labels. I posted wondering if my reaction was appropriate, and if ya'll thought it was okay for me to go ahead and term them. You have taken this post completely out of it's original context. It is none of my business what the parents want to call the child in regards to the "hearing loss" they told me about. It is however my business how I am supposed to communicate with this child. And it is my business if they refuse to EITHER let her wear the hearing aids OR teach her sign language, as every child deserves the right to communicate! I am sorry if you feel that I have personally offended you by saying that she has hearing loss vs saying that she is deaf, but I am not the one to call those shots. I simply repeated what the parents told me. I was told she has hearing loss, not that she was deaf. |
Oh, and, just as an Update to the actual reason I posted:
I have a 2yo on a temp spot that is ending NOV first b/c cousin baby number 2 is starting. Terming this 18 month old will allow for the 2yo to stay, so I don't need to worry about filling the spot. I already talked to 2yo DCM and they want the spot. :) I'm going to give 18 month DCM two week notice on OCT 21 if they don't give me notice first. This way she thinks she is still in control and there maybe will be less hurt feelings. I am hoping she gives her notice before I do. However, if she continues to be rude at pick up and drop off, she's getting her notice tomorrow. |
Originally Posted by MCC: |
Originally Posted by MCC: To me, this family is blessed and lucky to have come upon you as you already know sign language and are willing to teach it to their child(!!). The parents better settle down and behave if they know what's good for them, or they are not going to realize what they have until it's too late and it's gone and they're looking back at you compared to where they are with their possible future provider(s). |
Originally Posted by MCC: If the parents refused let their daughter to wear hearing aids, there is nothing you can do about it. We dont know the whole story. Maybe this child dont like to wear hearing aids, who knows. The most important that she needs to learn sign language that you can help her instead her parents. As you mentioned you know sign language so you can teach her so what is your point? If the parents refused to learn sign language, shame on them. Their child will hate them later, trust me. If she starts school and they will teach her sign language. She will pick it up quickly than what you think. The parents will probably still refused to learn sign language so it wont be changed. To be honest, it is none of your business about hearing aids that she should to wear it. If my child is in your daycare and if you are trying to tell me that my daughter must wear hearing aids, I would be very mad. I wasted $1,800 on my daughter's hearing aids that we bought for her out of our pocket that our insurance was not covered at that time when she was 6 months old. My daughter HATE hearing aids and I tried to give her an opportunity to hear for two years but she was NOT interested so I leave her alone. She is very happy child and she is 12 years old. She loves her life because we are great parents to her. It doesnt matter to us anymore. It doesnt matter what I feel offended by you or not. Like I said, I dont care what others think about me. If you feel that you cant help her or having problems with your daycare parents then let them go. I do feel about this little child. I think she would be lucky to have you that you will be able to communicate with her that you already know sign language. I guess that will never happens since you are giving them a two weeks notice tomorrow. I would take this girl for that spot and helped her parents not to be embarrassed about her hearing loss or something like that. However, I closed daycare for a while to being a stay home at mom with my handsome baby that I had him a few months ago. :) |
Safechner
:hug::hug::hug: Gals, those of us who are deaf or hard of hearing.......we get kinda worked.up about this topic, because we live it every day....... |
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia: |
Originally Posted by safechner: You have NO idea if the form is necessary or not. My state actually requires the SAME form and would require it for the EXACT same reasons as OP stated. Just because your state or all states don't require the form doesn't mean some don't. Just like some states require lots of enrollment forms and others don't. Just like some food programs let parents opt out their kids but my feeding program does NOT allow even ME to opt out my OWN kids. Frustrating sure!! But reality nonetheless. My daughter has mild hearing loss due to constant ear infections as a child. It didn't resolve with multiple sets of tubes but it isn't bad enough to affect her daily life. My state requires a special need form for ANY CONDITION, MENTAL OR PHYSICAL, THAT AFFECTS A CHILD IN ANY ASPECT OF THEIR EVERY DAY LIFE. that's quoted btw. For instance.. One child may have hearing loss but it's not major enough to affect every day activities. But if that child requires hearing aids, special speech therapy, or has issues with communicating etc, its considered SPECIAL NEEDS. It doesn't mean they are deaf or anything else. It simply means they need a care plan to assist them. Such as hearing aids. Such as speech therapy. If ANYTHING has to be done different or special to accommodate that child. It's SPECIAL NEEDS. Special needs doesn't mean they are near death or stupid or less than. It means they get the special care and help that they need in order to gets the help ey need to grow and thrive. I have a special needs daughter and a special needs daycare girl. The daycare girl is actually disabled defined by lots of conditions. But she doesn't get treated disabled but lots of accommodations have to be made to be sure she gets e care she needs. It's one thing and understandable fore parents to still be in denial. I was in that denial train once too. But in the end, the child is too young to understand and is having delays because of it. The child isn't capable yet of deciding if they want to wear hearing aids and etc etc. it's e parents job to do what's BEST for the child, regardless of their denial. And denial can't be used as an excuse forever. In the end, it's the child who is going to suffer. And not EVERY child who is hearing impaired has speech and other delays. But this one does. Personally it's awesome that this provider is trying to do what's best for this child. And regardless of parental denial, this child DOES deserve to be able to communicate, one way or the other. And since we don't know how much hearing or what this child's diagnosis or prognosis is, as a provider I would ABSOLUTELY insist to see the medical documentation so that I could do everything in my power to help this child. While I agree at some point this child may not want to use hearing aids. But, at the age this child is, it's the parents job to at least assist this child on how to communicate. Refusing the child that right is a type of abuse IMHO. It's a different story for a parent to use the aids, take the child to speech or other experts to help the child learn how to communicate and then at some point allow the child to decide they don't want to use the aids and rather do signing instead or use some other form of communication. But it isn't happening like that. The provider wouldn't have to speculate about how to help the child if she had the dr reports from the parents. In the end I think it's unfair to be rude to this provider when it seems THEY are the only one even trying to help this child. And KUDOS to you op for caring as you do. But realistically, this mom isn't ready to come out of denial and step outside of themselves long enough to help this child and may not any time soon be ready. I agree, advertise and be ready to fill her spot. We can only hope this child gets e help they need before too much developmental damage is done. |
Originally Posted by safechner: What if that child was SUPPOSED to be on heart medication but because they were "embarrassed" about it, they didn't give her that middle of the day dose because they didn't want to tell you about it. But the child's heart has to have that medication at lunch every single day. You don't think you have a right to ask for her diagnosis from the doctor and insist the parents send it to daycare to be given at lunch?? Would it not be okay to talk to the parents about your need for a special needs form because the child has a severe heart problem that affects things at daycare. Suppose she isn't allowed to go out in hot weather due to her heart condition. Didn't you have a right to know that? And if you bring it up to the parents and they act all ticked off and act childish etc that's okay? It's really not that different of a situation. We spend 50 hours a week with these children. We have a right to know about their medical conditions so that we can take adequate care of them. Does the parent have the right to refuse the heart medication?? In some states yes. In some states it's considered medical neglect. But regardless about the morality, the parents have every right to be in denial. But, as a provider who spends so much time with these kids, is it okay to just turn a blind eye to the well being of a child and put up with the possibility that something bad could happen because the parents were "embarrassed and in denial"?? ABSOLUTELY NOT. If I interview and there are ANY medical or any other Type of concern, I require documentation of any and everything. I explain why. Which is because I do e very best I can to take the absolute best care I can for that child. And that means physically, developmentally, socially, morally and any other way. I take pride in the care I give these children. I have a right to know if they have hearing loss, are deaf, have a cardiac problem, asthma, food allergies etc. And if a parent lies to me about it, it's grounds for immediate termination because it puts that child in jeopardy. Maybe not physically in jeopardy but I take all aspects of the child's development seriously. |
It's been a few days since I read through this entire thread, but is it possible it simply slipped their minds at the interview? I am 100% deaf in one ear and I honestly forget that I am... So I certainly don't think to tell anyone about it. In fact my doctor doesn't even know about it... since I don't necessarily consider it a disability or anything like that I have never added it to my paperwork when I start at a new doctor. Doesn't even cross my mind.
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Originally Posted by craftymissbeth: Just FTR how this was brought up in the first place was last month. DCM asked me if DCG was talking at all at my house. I told her no, and she said "Oh, did we mention she had a traumatic birth that caused hearing loss". So Mom brought the speech issue up, not me. I had a DCB here started around 14 months and left at 19 months. During that time he did not start talking. They brought him in for evaluations and it was a simple speech delay. Mom came in and had a hour long talk with me about how I am supposed to help DCB learn basic words. She basically trained me on what she had been trained to do. THAT is how this should be dealt with. I am perfectly comfortable caring for a child who needs help communicating, I just need to know how to move forward with it, now that it is known that she has some "hearing loss". I however am NOT going to continue to have DCM be rude and dismissive to me. |
Originally Posted by MCC: ~Hi MCC :)! I'm just wondering if there have been any updates to this situation if you don't mind my asking & I also went ahead and added a few thoughts I had while catching up with this thread. :) (MCC quote)"I asked the mom last Thursday right out about why is was not brought up, and that is exactly what she said"(end quote) ~So, she knew about the hearing loss at the time of enrollment but said it just slipped her mind...She forgot, is that right(did she say how long exactly she had known btw)? Idk the woman or family but in my very personal opinion-- Well, I just don't buy that(as the reason it was not disclosed to you that is). ~From your previous thread: (MCC quotes)"I have a 18 month DCG that has been here since June" ~So, she's been in your care for what...roughly 5 or so months? "..HOWEVER, about a month ago she stopped napping..." "A couple of weeks ago, DCM asked me if she was talking at my house and I said no, and then she informed me that she had some hearing loss and is supposed to be wearing aids, that she is not wearing.(end quotes)[/font] ~Was this the first time Mom had ever asked you this or anything related to DCG talking? If so, and this is totally & completely my thinking based on what little I know and I am very aware I could be utterly & totally wrong-- I find it a tad odd that she brought it up to you on this day and at this particular time-- I mean, after all we are talking about the dismissive woman who once said something along the lines of...."Look, I can't keep having these conversations with you" to you, right? It all seems just a bit random & very out-of-the-blue.....but I'm thinking it wasn't and that more than likely there was a very specific reason she asked you this at that point in time and that's what I'd like to know. ~Also you mentioned in one thread, concerning the naps, that Mom stated DCG didn't take afternoon naps(at home or on her watch or whatever) anymore. Do you know why that is:confused:? ...Or possibly have any ideas what may have changed within the last month or so with regard to her naps/lack thereof? (MCC quote) "I told her that I understood how it was forgotten, but now that she isn't talking or responding to basic commands like "sit down", "No", "lets go" I wanted to see what the Dr. says at her 18 month appointment. After that appointment I wanted to have a discussion about what the plans are for helping her communicate" (end quote) ~So how did she respond to ^^all this^^? ....Promising? ~Last but not least- About Mom pulling on the account of being "offended"- (begin MCC quotes)"She told me she was OFFENDED that I would say that there was something wrong with her child.." ~You never said anything of the sort of what she accuses. IMHO, this is a classical case of psychological projection(where one projects their very own undesirable, unmanageable, etc. emotions, traits, feelings that they cannot accept onto other people); it is a defense mechanism and a very common one at that. We project our own unpleasant feelings onto someone else and blame them for having thoughts that we really have- She is blaming you for the thoughts she is having or that she has had-- So when she says "I'm offended because you think that and said that there is "something wrong" with my child", she is actually saying "I strongly believe there is something wrong with my child and I can't handle that". She can protect her fragile state by making you out to be the bad guy to blame(.."it's not her who has those "bad/negative" thoughts about her very own flesh & blood-- "It's you- you awful person!")-- This is the only means of protection she has right now to a sitaution/issue that is so overwhelming to her that she cannot properly and adequately deal with it at this time without some kind of major turmoil. She is scared, anxious, etc. about the dd having hearing loss and for whatever reason she associates that as being "something wrong with her" or "not normal" and she cannot handle that...Not at this time anyway. "I also assured her that I never said there was something wrong with her kid" ~Again, you did not say that. You've stated perfectly to us here what you said to her and it was nothing of the sort, but rather it was very kind & professional likethis. "And that she thinks I said her kid had something wrong with them.." (end quotes) ~Yes...Unfortunately, yes she does think you said that. And she will continue to see it that way until her 'moment of clarity' happens or "she sees the light" and hopefully that day is not too far off and she will actually surprise you by apologizing :)-- after getting help for her daughter of course. Like I said, it has nothing to do with you....She is scared, anxious, etc. about her dd having hearing loss and for whatever reason she associates that as being "something wrong with her" or "not normal" and she cannot handle it...Not at this time anyway. You can try and reassure her eleventy billion times that you never said that if you'd like, but it wouldn't do much good because as I said, it's all about her, and not you. lovethislovethis |
Originally Posted by MCC: I would have done the same thing that you have when I first started out, but so many others here helped me to have a fair back bone and experience along the way has helped. I highly recommend that you have a rule/policy/hand book and contract, if you don't already. Don't let parents tell you how it is going to be. This is your business, your the one that is with this child 40-50 plus hours a week. If they want the kind of care that they have more control in, then a Nanny is needed. Good luck- now going to read and see how everyone else would handle this. |
Originally Posted by MCC: I think I would sit down write out my thoughts on paper and give her a term notice stating why you are terming, keep a copy and give her one. hugs to you- Young Mom? Only child? Just curious |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: me too. I feel bad for the child, because her needs will prob continue to be unmet. Keep your chin up and get another client in there and you will be good to go. Your love showed through your postings that your heart is in a good place, let someone else that will appreciate that come into your life. You won't be in self turmoil everyday of what your doing wrong and how you can fix it- |
Originally Posted by Familycare71: I agree, this provider is not discriminating the child, she is wanting to help the child and the parent is fighting it tooth and nail. |
Originally Posted by MCC: likethislikethislikethis |
update OP? if you haven't termed already, i wouldnt wait till the 21st. What are you going to do if the offended mom changes her mind and you already offered the spot to the temp family? i think you need to send home term today.
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Originally Posted by MCC: |
Originally Posted by MCC: |
Originally Posted by safechner: I also think this provider is giving a two weeks notice for more then just the hearing issues. Parent seems to have no respect for this provider and literally a pain in the under pants, wanting special. |
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia: |
Originally Posted by MCC: |
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