Sticky Situation
 

So I'm writing bc I'm concerned about a few things, my in laws run a daycare that my youngest goes to. Recently my husband and I separated and are in process of divorce, some other issues have come up with my school aged children and since then both in laws are rude, basically ignoring me, so much that its become a chore to drop off my child. While I know they love said child, she likes going there and is safe I worry that she is seeing this behavior on their part and I don't want it to change how she acts. I've tried to just say good morning and good bye and leave it at that but they don't even respond to that they just ignore me, while I'm not asking for the relationship to go back to what it was I feel like basic politeness is warranted. Also should mention ex has made it so I can't change daycares at this time. I'm frustrated and do not like being in this hostile environment, is there anything that can be done or do I just have to grin and bear it until everything is finalized. I'm so lost. Talking to them will not help they've made up their minds and that's how it is for them. Ugh one frustrated momma here

Originally Posted by Krazycat313:
So I'm writing bc I'm concerned about a few things, my in laws run a daycare that my youngest goes to. Recently my husband and I separated and are in process of divorce, some other issues have come up with my school aged children and since then both in laws are rude, basically ignoring me, so much that its become a chore to drop off my child. While I know they love said child, she likes going there and is safe I worry that she is seeing this behavior on their part and I don't want it to change how she acts. I've tried to just say good morning and good bye and leave it at that but they don't even respond to that they just ignore me, while I'm not asking for the relationship to go back to what it was I feel like basic politeness is warranted. Also should mention ex has made it so I can't change daycares at this time. I'm frustrated and do not like being in this hostile environment, is there anything that can be done or do I just have to grin and bear it until everything is finalized. I'm so lost. Talking to them will not help they've made up their minds and that's how it is for them. Ugh one frustrated momma here

You’d need to discuss your options with your attorney.
The situation may not be comfortable or even positive and I sympathize with you but only your attorney is going to be able to offer advice as far as what options you have.

I doubt your EX can stop you from using other care during your parenting time. Courts don't generally do that. You may have agreed with your ex during a temporary hearing or between attorneys but now there has been a change of circumstance and you no longer agree. ;)

You are free to use whatever childcare you choose during your parenting time. I'd recommend getting custody done first, before financials. I would not recommend continuing to use your in-laws as childcare. It can hurt you in the divorce proceedings as well. ;) Start as you intend to go: separately. Maintain as few ties as possible to your ex and his family. That will serve your future best.

He will be free to choose where the kids go during his time as well. Accept that going in, it will make things go much smoother.

Can you ask them to talk about it? If your kids are safe and well taken care of, they might do well with the stability. If not, I totally understand wanting to get rid of the unhealthy environment. From personal experience, a judge can state daycare must stay the same as long as the provider is willing.

You may also have a hard time finding someone to take them only every other week if that's what it comes to.