Daycare Will Not Allow Early Pick Up - California
HI
My son recently started at an in home daycare and he loves the lady and she is great with him. She has strict times which we adhere to but my issue is she will not allow early pick up ( before 5.30) of a child unless he has a medical appointment. She does not allow earlier pick up if the parents finish work at an earlier time full stop. So If I get there early I have to sit in car and wait. The current pick up time suits me but there is the very odd occasion where I may have a half day and want to pick him up but she told me the government does not allow this. This cannot be right can it? The government would stop a parent spending more time with their child? I do know that she gets an allowance from the government as she provides food so I am thinking the rule is that she needs to have them a certain amount of hours every day to get this . My son is happy there and I do not want to up root him. I am not even asking for flexibility for more hours I just want to pick him up early once in a while. Any one have any thoughts or advice? |
Are you on subsidy? If so that may be what she is thinking but most of those programs require you to be at school or work for them to pay for care. But they only pay when your child is there. The food program doesn't pay that much really, it isn't much of a money maker, just deflects some of the cost of food. The government has nothing to say about when you pick your kids up. I LOVE when parents choose spending time with their kids over leaving them in daycare. I would never tell a parent not to pick up early. Something is fishy with this story.
|
Originally Posted by Unregistered: She is not being truthful about that. As a parent you have a right to free access to your child at ANY time. You may not stay on the property or "visit" but you can certainly show up ANY time and pick up. The ONLY consequence to random pick ups or an unscheduled pick up is termination from care but that is a provider decision NOT a licensing or government decision. |
Originally Posted by Thriftylady: |
Thank you for the reply Thrifylady. No I am not on subsidy. I actually wanted to send my own food in but she did not want that as she prefers to be in control of everything in her home. That I understand as if other kids have allergies etc.. I think she is strict on routine and so she throws the government into the conversation as if we would get in trouble but really it seems to be just her rule. I don't want to upset her as my baby is happy there but this is bothering me. We respect all her rules but I have problems with this one as someone is telling me I cannot spend more time with my baby. I will try to discuss with her again
|
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: As a parent it would bother me that my provider was lying about something like this. It would bother me mostly because it would make me wonder what else she wasn't being honest about. As a parent and a provider, the most important thing between provider and parent is trust. To me, she would have broken that with her dishonesty. |
Originally Posted by Thriftylady: |
Do you pay hourly? That could be the only thing I could think of as to why she would not want you to pick up early. Or if you are trying to pick up at nap time, which I would have issue with, but otherwise, I don't get why she would not be thrilled to have one less kid for a few hours. On a legal note, she can;t withhold your kid from you, so you have every right to pick up early. She also has every right to terminate care because of it, but I wouldn't work with a provider who doesn't want me to get my kid when I am done working. Of all the complaints on this forum, parents not spending enough time with their kid is one of the biggest. Getting off early and going home or shopping for "me" time, instead of picking up your kids, is a hot button issue in daycare.
|
Originally Posted by Thriftylady: |
Originally Posted by snbauser: You should be able to stop AT ANY TIME. My only thing is that if you come up, you need to take your child with you. I did have a mom that was having a very bad time and was very teary one day. She came up had lunch with us and then went back to work. Dd understood she was just "coming for lunch" and enjoyed it said bye mom it is time for mmmy naap! But, my parents feel welcome whenever they get here. |
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse: |
You do know, even though your son likes it there, that there are, I'm sure, many other daycares that he will also like.
There's one daycare provider I know of in my area that has a rule of not allowing anyone to drop off after a certain time or pick up until 5:30. The reason for it is that she has a schedule of daily activities and she got tired of parents interrupting the day and her having to regain control/interest of the children every time a parent showed up during an activity. Now, personally, I would not enroll my child with her simply because I would feel uncomfortable with someone telling me that I CAN NOT go get my child whenever I want. However, as a daycare provider, I fully understand how much of a pain it is to have a parent interrupt an activity. The way I operate is that yes, you can come any time you want to get your child, however, I explain that it does cause a little chaos when we're in the middle of an activity and a parent shows up unexpected, so I ask that you call when you are on your way or let me know ahead of time if you can so I can prepare/pre-plan my activities around your arrival. But, it's not REQUIRED that you notify me, just requested for convenience. Another thing is that that rule, does go against the daycare law/rule that a parent must have access to their child at all times. I don't know what state you are in, but here, it would be illegal for me to tell a parent that they are not allowed to get their child whenever they want. The government does pay for some kids hourly and others weekly, but you said you're not on subsidy, so that doesn't apply to you anyway. The food program requires that a child be in attendance at least 1/2 hour after the ending of each meal we claim. So, if she serves dinner and claims dinner on the food program at 5:00, then she is supposed to have the children that she claims until 5:30. If that's what she's demanding that you must leave your child in her attendance for each day until 5:30, then, I'm sorry, but I'd have to take my child out of her care if she's that worried that SHE gets paid the little chump change for feeding a child dinner! It's healthier for your child to have more time with his parent(s) than to be in daycare longer than necessary. If she values her little dollar or two for claiming him for a meal more than she values the time he gets to spend with his parent, then she would NOT be allowed to take care of my child! |
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff: |
Originally Posted by permanentvacation: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: I'm curious as to what her reply would be to that |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse: |
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse: |
I agree with calling licensing. Something wrong is going on her. There is no way in heck that I would discourage a parent from picking up early going into a long weekend. Heck I may find it worth it to give a discount LOL. Now when I have young ones, I start laying them down around 12:30 and nap time is until three so I may ask you pick up a tad earlier or not until 3, but even that depends how the nappers are and the situation at the time. If my nappers were not going to be asleep by 1, then I wouldn't have an issue with 1 at all. But that would only be due to nap time disturbances.
|
Originally Posted by Thriftylady: |
Something is just off with this whole thing. She's lied to you twice about it being a government rule. What "trouble" is she claiming you'll be in? A fine or something?
Something is going on there that she does not want parents walking in on. |
Originally Posted by NightOwl: And I honestly would call licensing as well. Not sure that you could do a formal complaint because there is no evidence of any wrong doing but I would at least discuss with them that you are being given grief about picking up early. What would she do if you just showed up early? Because I would be tempted to do just that on numerous occassions to see what's going on. |
Originally Posted by snbauser: |
Originally Posted by snbauser: |
Hmmm
Every state requires direct access to child at all times. She may be staggering pick ups so that she doesn't have parents knowing the real number of kids she has. She may be leaving the kids at home and doing school runs. Something is up. Providers want kids gone. As long as she can just toss the kid out the door and doesn't have to spend time conferencing with you... there should never be a problem. |
Some providers don't like early pickups. 99%+ LOVE them. She may just not like having her day disrupted. She may also be hiding something, but I don't know. I'm leaning more toward mentally unstable-she can't possibly believe, or think you would believe, that the government doesn't want you to pick up your child (or that you'll get in trouble with some agency for doing so). Bottom line: I think she's either a liar or crazy.
|
And definately keep us updated because we are all now very curious!!!!:D
|
That is a huge red flag !! Please know in the future that NOBODY can keep you from your child. A private school, a daycare center, a public school, a sitter etc ALL have to release child to you. I don't know about hospitals, if a child is ill, but that's a different topic. How old did you say your child is ? Is he/ she old enough to tell you what is going on ? That caregiver is lying to you and that is horrible. You are the parent. Honestly I would just text her one day and say " I'm picking up Jr. In half hour" around 4 pm or so. See how she responds. I'm so curious about this. Can you tell us what state you are in ? Also please sign in and become a member. Folks here can give you great advice on what to really look for in a daycare . We all want your child to be safe !!
|
Thank you everyone. I have spent the weekend looking up other options and have a list to call tomorrow. I would just like to have another daycare sorted before make a complaint. I'm in California but originally from Ireland so have no family support to help out .
I will keep you updated. Need this coming week to try and get a place. Thanks again. I thought I may have been a paranoid mother so glad other daycare providers have confirmed my suspicions. I will keep you updated. |
1 Attachment(s)
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Please do a walk in visit at a time way earlier than 5:30. I understand you want something lined up before you leave but God forbid something happens to your baby or one of the other kids. It does not seem right that she doesn't allow early pick ups. I loveeeee early pick ups. Friday I had about 3. One as early as 9:30a.m. Something is off. Please keep us updated. Wish you the best.
|
Please listen to the wealth of advice given and pop in very unannounced. Very sporadic. All week.
Personally, there's no way, come Hexx or high water, someone would TELL me I couldn't come get my child. I do ask nap to be respected but they may come at any time. Something is up. And I have a feeling it's super uncool. |
Yes I have listened to you all and appreciate it believe me! I had a sleepless weekend.... I plan to do a walk in this week. She had an unannounced inspection about a month ago by the state and that went fine. She showed me the paper work on the day and I did follow up and check it out online.
I also talked to one of the others moms outside this morning and she has her 2nd child there. She said these rules only came in in the last few months and with her first child she could pick up anytime So I talked to the lady this morning and she admitted that it is her preference we do not pick up early as it disrupts her day. She only looks after infants so she has a routine and she said if every one picked up at any time that suits it unsettles the other infants and one of the mothers did this all the time. So I said I respect that and it's not like I am asking for an early pick up unscheduled all the time and I would never pick up during nap times. So at the end of the day she said I can do an early pick up but due to schedules she prefers if we didn't but she cannot stop us. So I felt a little better after that conversation. I still intend to move him and do unscheduled drop in. Again thank you all. I will join as a member and keep you updated |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: Why not just be truthful about the whole thing? I don't know....I'm glad she "fessed" up but the need to lie in the first place would upset me. It would make me feel as though she didn't trust YOU to be responsible or respectful without giving you a chance. |
I agree with Blackcat.
I have a varied group with 3 infants. Honestly, pick ups are never an issue with the infants. I like to have a general idea so they can be "ready" -fed a bottle, not ready to have a bottle, check their bottoms one more time etc. But, if a mom shows up- I will say last bottle was________, let me make sure they are dry and ready to go in the carseat. And if I have just made them a bottle- I will hand it to parent and say well you better have a seat and feed them this or you will have a long drive home! :) Parents see my house as it really is... chaos some days. It is ok. Infants are not disturbed by pick ups... the older ones sometimes get wound up.. that is life. time frame is just that. Today baby and 2 yo will be picked up between 3:30 and 4:15. Baby last ate 11:30 so he should be ready to eat in a bit so he will be fine for that pick up time. Snack for 2yo is at 3:00 so she will be good to go. I will be sure she pees after snack;) My knowing they are coming is more for the parent's convience than mine. It is still strange to me. |
I agree with BC. I would be inclined to pull today and never go back. I know that can cause an issue with jobs, but she LIED and threatened you with trouble from the government. Now when you come to her armed with information that nobody in government says that, but legally she CAN'T do that, she backtracks. I would feel unsafe leaving an infant there a day longer. An older child can at least tell you if something is going on, but an infant can't. She could be in there making adult videos for all you know! Granted, that probably isn't happening, but the fact is she has made you wonder.
|
Originally Posted by Thriftylady: |
I think it is very suspect. Only you know her and know how you feel about it, but it would make me very nervous as to why she doesn't want you to pick up early. I did infant only care for awhile and there was no issue with parents picking up early (toddlers can sometimes be a little more disagreeable:D ), so I don't think it would inconvenience her too much. My infants were on staggered schedules, so as long as you are not yelling and waking up the babies who are sleeping, it would be great to have one less baby around and to have a parent WANT to spend time with their kid.
I think she is over ratio for babies. (just my opinion) Most states restrict the number of infants to 4 or less, so my guess is she has more than that and staggers the pick up times to coordinate with napping and other babies getting picked up so none of the parents realize she has more babies than she is suppose to. Obviously, I don't know her and have no real idea, but it just doesn't make sense. |
Update: I called a couple of daycares I had spoken to when I first was looking and really liked but they had no space at the time. As luck would have it one of them who is a mile from my house has an opening. I am allowed pick up , stop in and visit any time.I told her about my current situation and she gave me all the advice and vibes you guys did. My husband, Baby and I met her yesterday and not only is she close to my house but she looks after a girl from my companies son. I called the mom as a reference and she had nothing but good things to say.
So although I have to give current one 4 weeks notice I am just paying her the 4 weeks and taking him out today. Good riddance . I will also be making that call to the state. Thank you all. This is website is a great resource I cannot thank you enough |
Good call! Glad you found a new daycare you feel comfortable with. :)
|
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: I agree with all of the advice provided above. So glad you made a switch and are pulling him out immediately! Did you call licensing and give them a heads up? In our state we are NEVER allowed to deny a parent access to their child. If they come during nap and wake up every child in care I have to let them (doesn't mean I won't terminate our contract). I have an open door policy- come in any time you like, but you have to take your child with you when you go. ;) |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:30 AM. |