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MamaG 12-31-2012 07:23 AM

DCG Needs Your Help-
 
Here's the situation, dcm works very long hours. Clocks in at 5:30am often doesn't get off till 6. Usually off by 3. She used to send a friend to pick up DCG when she worked late. When DCG saw friend picking her up she had instant melt down. She knew mom was working late, this was over summer. We talked and friend don't pick up anymore. DCG doesn't know moms working late, mom still picks her up.

At drop off dcd says dcm's working till 6 so ill pick DCG up. Soon as he leaves crying over nothing and everything begins. It won't end till she leaves! If I talk to her she cries, if I ask her to come eat, she cries. If any child touches a toy she has claimed, bawling!! If a child talks to her, she hits, says mean things, cries!! She will be a monster the rest of the day and the obvious isn't doing any good. I know dcm knows all this, she put in a two week notice months ago. But stayed. She asked my opinion and I didn't tell her exactly what I thought just that DCG does miss her terribly. What should I do?! I've never seen a kid react to mom working to much like this.

Former Teacher 12-31-2012 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by MamaG:
Here's the situation, dcm works very long hours. Clocks in at 5:30am often doesn't get off till 6. Usually off by 3. She used to send a friend to pick up DCG when she worked late. When DCG saw friend picking her up she had instant melt down. She knew mom was working late, this was over summer. We talked and friend don't pick up anymore. DCG doesn't know moms working late, mom still picks her up.

At drop off dcd says dcm's working till 6 so ill pick DCG up. Soon as he leaves crying over nothing and everything begins. It won't end till she leaves! If I talk to her she cries, if I ask her to come eat, she cries. If any child touches a toy she has claimed, bawling!! If a child talks to her, she hits, says mean things, cries!! She will be a monster the rest of the day and the obvious isn't doing any good. I know dcm knows all this, she put in a two week notice months ago. But stayed. She asked my opinion and I didn't tell her exactly what I thought just that DCG does miss her terribly. What should I do?! I've never seen a kid react to mom working to much like this.


I am sorry but I have no advice for you :(

At my former center I experienced the opposite. There was this little girl who was right there when the door opened at 6:30 and was sometimes the last child to leave at 6:30. This was Mom's choice-she wanted to get her money's worth :rolleyes:

Mom couldn't figure out why this little girl would CLING to me in the mornings. I told Mom that she is sometimes alone with me for about a hour if not longer in the morning. The same with pick ups. It baffled the mother because she wasn't even in my classroom. She wanted to know why we had such a bond. I tried to tell her repeatedly that her friends didn't come until later in the day and it was just her and I in the center.

Apparently she also missed me on the weekends. She would always play school or play house and she was my mommy :lol:

The final straw was when on the weekend (Saturday morning) she had fallen and hurt herself. Mom said she cried for the ENTIRE weekend. I think mom got the hint. She FINALLY started to drop her off and picked up a decent times.

She eventually moved out of state. I miss that little girl. She is probably a teenager now :lol:

MamaG 12-31-2012 10:34 AM

It doesn't make any sense to me. When her mom comes to get her she treats her mom like crap and refuses to leave yet the more hours her mom works the crabbier she gets. I made her lay down until she could play without being mean, she is up now and acting like all is good. This situation is confusing the crap out of me. Is this normal 3 year old stuff?

akpayne 12-31-2012 10:53 AM

when dcm works late, is dcd with her? i ask because i have a dcg whose mom also works late hours...when dcd is with her, he lets her eat junk and stay up all night watching tv...then when she gets to my house, she is a monster....i had to have talk with dcp because she was just unbearable and it was taking a toll on other dck...now grandma comes to get her, makes sure she eats well and gets some rest and it is like a different kid!

MamaG 12-31-2012 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by akpayne:
when dcm works late, is dcd with her? i ask because i have a dcg whose mom also works late hours...when dcd is with her, he lets her eat junk and stay up all night watching tv...then when she gets to my house, she is a monster....i had to have talk with dcp because she was just unbearable and it was taking a toll on other dck...now grandma comes to get her, makes sure she eats well and gets some rest and it is like a different kid!

Yes Dad is taking care of her if mom isn't there. She is super positive and up eat in the morning, talks all happy with a big smile. Those days DCG comes in a good mood. Dad must be grumpy lol. She did fall right to sleep too. I'm just going to put her down for a nap from now on. It seemed to work today. I think between all the toddler fits and being stuck inside because of the cold I'm getting cabin fever! I really miss the splash parks.

cheerfuldom 12-31-2012 12:12 PM

I dont think you need to worry so much about why this girl is acting like this so much as whether you can deal with it or not.

you can try talking to the mom. it could be due to the work schedule but it could also be a huge number of other things. I wouldnt even begin to suggest why these things might be happening but rather present the issues to mom.

you could also write up a letter and let her know that you need to see improvement in the following behavior by X date otherwise you will need them to find care that is a better fit

or you could just go ahead and term and say you are no longer a good fit for this girls needs and just move on.

i think too many providers drive themselves crazy trying to figure out why kids are doing this or that. thats not our job, thats the parents job. we take care of kids while parents work, we dont raise them. you dont have to have the full burden of solving every issue for this family.

MamaG 12-31-2012 12:23 PM

That's true! Something I easily forget since I've had DCG since she was 1. I really can't take 2 more months of this! When it's nice outside water play and a yard full of bouncy balls makes everything ok, children are happy. But we are always stuck inside now! We miss out on any and all field trips because DCG has such a bad attitude I can't take her anywhere. Even with all the holiday time off I'm getting to dread her drop off honestly. I can feel myself caring less kwim. Like those mean nurses in a nursing home, cause they been there to long.

I think it really sucks but it is what it is.


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