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-   -   Is My 12 Month Old Ready for Daycare? (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=93111)

Unregistered 03-04-2020 11:23 AM

Is My 12 Month Old Ready for Daycare?
 
My 12 month old just started daycare at KinderCare part time (8:30-11:30) two weeks ago after spending a year with me at home. Just started letting him stay for naptime (12-2:30pm) yesterday.

He fought the workers quite a bit, but eventually they were able to get him to sleep for about half an hour (He normally sleeps 2 hrs).

He is still crying badly at drop off and pickup, but does pretty ok during the day, and hasn't cried too much since the first two days)


I'm just worried that because he hasn't started walking yet (just cruising) and still nurses to sleep half the time, and is a contact napper at home, that this adjustment is too much. How do I know if he is ready?

rosieteddy 03-04-2020 11:58 AM

Do you need Daycare because you work?If the answer is yes then you need to prepare him for group care. That would mean teaching him to sleep alone,stopping nursing to sleep ect. If you do not work ,why send him.There are plenty of ways to socialize without sending him to group care.He is to young for "preschool".

gammerus 03-04-2020 12:01 PM

I'm planning on going back to work - taking interviews atm.

I'm still working on keeping thing consistent at home, but honestly nap time is a real struggle at home, and I'm not interesting in trying the cio method :( I have only managed to get him to sleep without rocking or nursing a couple of times, and that was when he was beyond exhausted.

Blackcat31 03-04-2020 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by gammerus:
I'm planning on going back to work - taking interviews atm.

I'm still working on keeping thing consistent at home, but honestly nap time is a real struggle at home, and I'm not interesting in trying the cio method :( I have only managed to get him to sleep without rocking or nursing a couple of times, and that was when he was beyond exhausted.

Honestly you can't really expect a group care provider to do what you've been doing in order to get your child to nap.
It's simply not realistic.

Even in a center with multiple staff members they aren't equipped to manage that type of individualized need.

Have you considered hiring a nanny instead?
It might be a better way to go so that your child isn't suddenly faced with a routine he absolutely does not understand.

If attending child care is your goal, I would definitely start working towards teaching your child how to sleep without being rocked or held.

Too many parents do not provide their child the tools they need to thrive in care. The child is usually the one to suffer the fall out when this happens.

Unregistered 03-04-2020 04:40 PM

I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.

Cat Herder 03-04-2020 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.

You will have to do the work of allowing your child to learn to self soothe. Place him on his back, in a crib, with no toys or blankets when he looks tired. Allow him to cry if he needs to.

You may comfort him without picking him up, then walk away. Each time taking longer and longer before you comfort him until he learns to comfort himself. Graduated extinction. At 12 months he should be transitioning to a nap mat, but most will give you a little leeway there until closer to 2.

The number of times you pick him up and give in is the number of times he will have to CIO in daycare while they tend to other kids. If that number is too high and he is disrupting the other children's sleep, he may no longer have daycare.

We can't allow one child to continually disrupt other children because he never learned to self-soothe at home. That is a parental responsibility. We have to terminate the contract for the good of the group.

Blackcat31 03-05-2020 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm not expecting them to do what I do. That simply isn't plausible. I'm just looking for advice to make this work.

I'm sorry but other than what Cat Herder said below, there is no other advice to give....

There are no magic tricks or secrets to this other than teaching him through a process of steps to self sooth.
This WILL involve crying and resistance on his part.

Basically, the CIO method which you said (earlier) you had no interest in doing so I'm sorry we can't provide the answer you are looking for.

Your son has had one routine for a year now, it's not going to change over night and may take months before he is able to form a new routine.

Indoorvoice 03-06-2020 10:48 AM

I agree with what the other posters said. But I will also add, why not let him experience a whole day or two at daycare to see how he does? Perhaps the excitement, activity, and routine of daycare will make him tired enough to actually fall asleep on his own. As parents, we always want to shelter our kids from experiencing discomfort. But discomfort, new routines and challenges, and new environments are a part of life. We have to let them experience it for them to grow. He will be fine for a day. If it goes totally awful, it was only one day, and then you will know you have some work to do at home to teach him how to be ok without you from time to time.

nannyde 03-07-2020 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
My 12 month old just started daycare at KinderCare part time (8:30-11:30) two weeks ago after spending a year with me at home. Just started letting him stay for naptime (12-2:30pm) yesterday.

He fought the workers quite a bit, but eventually they were able to get him to sleep for about half an hour (He normally sleeps 2 hrs).

He is still crying badly at drop off and pickup, but does pretty ok during the day, and hasn't cried too much since the first two days)


I'm just worried that because he hasn't started walking yet (just cruising) and still nurses to sleep half the time, and is a contact napper at home, that this adjustment is too much. How do I know if he is ready?

He needs his own adult all day every day. Putting him in a group will mean he has to share an adult. It wonít work.

When he can be put to bed wide awake and go to sleep without nursing to sleep and sleep a couple of hours with lights on and noise from the room, he will show you he is ready.

When he can entertain himself on the floor and not need an adult to hold him, walk him, and rock him during awake times, he will show you he is ready.

Heís not unique. Babies who have one to one care wherein they have an adult who hosts there sleep and play then require it to sleep and play. Itís easy math. You want him to not cry and you do whatever you can to make sure he doesnít. Thatís your mom gig. Itís all good. He just needs a mom to keep it up and he wonít have that at daycare.

Mariposa 08-03-2020 10:55 PM

Sounds fine to me. As an experienced provider, your kiddo is A-OK.
They cat nap quite a bit at daycare because the environment is different. Very normal. I wouldn't stress the eating or sleeping---kids will always go in waves.


Curious how kiddo is doing considering Covid hit and daycare was no longer an option?

Daniella 06-09-2021 01:52 AM

I was in the exact same situation last year, it's a slow and steady process to prepare your kid to be completely fine with some group care and other adults.

Well I guess it depends because my first girl did acclimate pretty fast.

flying_babyb 06-10-2021 04:47 PM

Daycare provider in a center here-
Try CIO method, send to bed with a lovie (small blanket with a head seems to work well) and just remind him you will be back. Rinse and repeat. Most children take around a week or so to get used to things, the routine and nap. Most of our kids sleep less that first week, till they get comfortable and used to the nap procedure. we started four new one year old's in our room in the last 3 months so ive btdt

Cat Herder 06-11-2021 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by Jennifer Yip:
I believe that 12 months is still too early to send a child to kindergarten. At this age, the child still needs constant attention, which educators cannot provide in kindergarten. It will be better if you send your child to kindergarten after 2 years old, when he is ready for socialization and will not require the attention of parents in such a way.

I believe she meant child care, not kindergarten.

Kindergarten here usually starts at age 5, but is mandatory at age 6.

Child care begins as early as birth, here. I have had many children start at 2-3 days old. Maternity leave is very uncommon down here. Most jobs cut hours to 30 or so to keep from providing benefits.


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