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tenderhearts 03-03-2017 08:35 AM

Aggressive 20 Mo Old
 
I have done dc for 18 yrs and I have never had a child so aggressive before. He has been with me since Sept and is now 20 mo. He is a very happy little boy and his aggression isn't out of anger, he just "pushes' his way into everything and everywhere, he does the typical trying to take toys from others but it seems more than I usually have and is more aggressive when he does it.
I have been doing redirection and gently telling him he needs to wait his turn and helping him find a toy, but this is constant through out the day. I have been shadowing him for months because he is also a biter an pincher, and that isn't always out of frustration but just for no reason.

Does anyone have any other ideas that have worked for them for aggression?

Blackcat31 03-03-2017 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tenderhearts (Post 626511)
I have done dc for 18 yrs and I have never had a child so aggressive before. He has been with me since Sept and is now 20 mo. He is a very happy little boy and his aggression isn't out of anger, he just "pushes' his way into everything and everywhere, he does the typical trying to take toys from others but it seems more than I usually have and is more aggressive when he does it.
I have been doing redirection and gently telling him he needs to wait his turn and helping him find a toy, but this is constant through out the day. I have been shadowing him for months because he is also a biter an pincher, and that isn't always out of frustration but just for no reason.

Does anyone have any other ideas that have worked for them for aggression?

What is his family life like?
Stable? Are his parents involved in his daily life as parents or are they the type to think every "bad" behavior is cute? kwim?

Curious as to how his verbalization skills are too?

tenderhearts 03-03-2017 10:41 AM

They are stable, he is their first child so everything is so cute and sweet and so adorable, he almost can't do anything wrong. However, she claims she never see's this behaviour even when he plays with other friends kids. I find that very hard to believe, plus she has contradicted herself. Part of me thinks she just doesn't want to admit her adorable little boy is a terror. We have talked about it numerous times though and they aware of all of it and what I am doing to help teach him it's not ok. Sometimes she makes me feel like he learns it here and I'm not saying I have a perfect group but I do not have any other children that are aggressive, and they all play well together.

Cat Herder 03-03-2017 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tenderhearts (Post 626541)
she claims she never see's this behaviour even when he plays with other friends kids.

Have you asked her the age group of her friends kids?

I have had a little guy whose mom told the same tale only to find that the other kids were 6+. The playmates were forced to play "yield to the baby" all the time. You know what behavior issue that nets. ;)

In your shoes I'd try the old standard "less sugar/starch, extra servings of proteins, extra outside physical activity, extra sleep" to rule them all out. They are always a great starting place. :Sunny: Good luck, hope it resolves quickly.

tenderhearts 03-03-2017 12:17 PM

Thank you, according to mom, the little girl is a few months younger than he is and is very mean aggressive towards him, she says he does nothing back and looks at her like why are you doing this to me.
I feel like she is the mom who's child can never to any wrong and will always find someone else to blame which makes it uncomfortable for me. For instance, she is always talking about bruises, I wonder how he got this one, or that one, yet she tells me how crazy and wild he is and falling and doing this and that. I don't get it.

Anyways I said he is always going to have bruises, legs the worse. There is never no way to know where every little bruise comes from. I said if you are worried that he's getting bruises here all the time then maybe he needs to be with a one on one person therefore he wont be "playing" so much and being a kid. She said oh no I wasn't meaning he was getting them here I just freak out over all that stuff.
Good Lord, I have never had a first time parent like this before.

tenderhearts 03-03-2017 12:29 PM

I should also say that he is a very happy little guy, and it's not like he's doing these things (95%) of the time out of frustration or anger. He just does it like he thinks he's being playful.


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