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Angry And Hurt Right Now
I have been on here for the last few weeks asking about daycare rates/policies etc.
I finally figured out what my new rates are going to be and decided to let the parents know a few months ahead of time so they may decide if they can stay or need to find something else. My rate: I am changing from a daily to a weekly. My daily was extremely low for my area 20 for a full day and 10 for a half. I then made it worse by giving a sibling discount I only added $10 to the full day and $5 for a half for each additional child. I am changing to a daily rate of 25 per child per day so if I have two children 5 days a week I will be charging $250. I told all parents I will get together and discuss any issues. I just received a txt from a dcm and this is what it said: Hi ___. I just got that paper from ----- and looked it over. I have a few issues w/ it. I feel that it is extremely high for childcare. 50 a day is quite a bit more than me or ----- can afford. If we could come up w a better arrangement I would appreciate it. I realize this is how youre making a living and I have before also but I would never have thought about charging these rates. Please get back to me as soon as you can. thanks I responded: I understand if you have any issues but discussing them in txt isn't what I want to do. We will set up a date for both you and ----- to be here, and we can discuss it then. I hope we can work this out. I am free any night after the kids are gone so let me know what you guys want to do. Her response: That is what I was getting ahold of you for. I will talk to ---- and come up with a day and time we can all meet up. Thanks Where to start as to why I am mad. 1.She was my childrens babysitter unregistered, she charged me 25 a day for my child. She sat them infront of the tv and the toy box and never took them outside and I provided the food. I read to her children, have helped potty train her daughter feed and provide the food, give them outside time every day, and we do arts and crafts. 2. When I first enrolled her I filled out paper work to help her get assistance to pay for child care which she never turned in because her ex refused to falsify the information he had to fill out so she wouldn't get as much. 3. This txt was not her trying to set up a date this was to attack me via txt message and let me know shes not happy. I had already spoken to her about setting up the date yesterday over the phone and told her ex the same. She wrote this to give me a piece of her mind. If she thinks this is going to get her a lower rate she is wrong. Her children are here 4- 10 hr days in the summer and I want to charge her 200 the going weekly rate for her children ages 3 and 6 is 135 and 130 I am being more then fair. I have even given a school year rate of 100 for the 3 year old and am holding the 6 yr olds spot and will only charge a $25 fee for holidays and days off of school. I am sorry this is so long I just needed to get this out. I am shaking I am so upset, I knew I would meet opposition but this txt was uncalled for. We will sit we will talk I will explain how I came to my decision what I am doing with the children and if they still don't feel I am worth it. I have two kids whose parents do think I am worth it lined up. |
:( I am sorry hun.
Hopefully she will be the only one acting like that. :o Sending good vibes. :Sunny: |
Don't give into her at all!! She will push and push... trust me. At your meeting if things get heated simply tell her this is your business and your way of living and she doesn't need to stay your client if she is not happy. They are always floored when you basically tell them this is the way it is or there is the door. :rolleyes:
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Do you have access at all to the going rate for child care providers in your area? If so, copy it down and refer to it when talking to her about your "worth" in regards to your weekly rate.
I would be really offended if I were you too! Stand your ground and if she bails on you, then advertise for a family that does appreciate all you do for their children. Don't sell yourself short because one parent doesn't want to pay for high quality child care. :) |
Repeat after me until you feel confident saying it to them:
I understand your position, this is what I need to charge. I understand this is a price increase, this is what I need to charge. I understand you don't want to pay this rate, this is what I need to charge. Changing prices and policies on existing parents is so hard. Don't be surprised if they start listing the things you've bought that you could have done without, thus kept their price lower. btdt Good luck. |
((((((((HUGS))))))))
This is why I dislike the texting option. It complicates things. I just switched over from an hourly rate to a weekly, and added some rather strict policies that I plan to stick to. But... I am only making it apply to all new families because the 2 I have will probably flee to the mountains if I try switching them over and I don't want to lose them. It isn't easy to get enrollments around here as it is. Sigh. So I feel your pain. At least you were brave enough to apply your new rates to the current dcf's! I am too chicken to do it. :o Stand firm and remember we're all here rooting for you. Your time and EFFORT (key word here) is worth what you're charging, and you both know it. She just doesn't want to admit it!!! :rolleyes: |
She just wants cheap day care. It's not very complicated and you shouldn't take it personally. It doesn't have anything to do with you or what you are worth.
She's been getting a really super low rate and that's what she wants. She will most likely leave you when she finds another low paying deal. She will just seek out someone who is new and making the same mistake with low priced base care and markedly lower discount for sibs. As hard as it is to think of it this way you have to understand that your low discounted rate IS a big part of child care today. It's part of the economy of child care. Her kids will move on to the next person who is offering cheap until that person raises rates. Once she raises rates they will move to the next. It's NOT about what the going rate is... it's about finding the provider that offers care for WAY less than the going rate. To her it doesn't matter if a thousand providers charge 130... and one charges 100. She doesn't care about the other thousand. She just cares about the one that charges 100. Just be super polite to her and tell her this is your new rate. She will most likely take you up on your services until the day the rates go up. If she has to pay the "going rate" you can be SURE she won't pay it to you. If she's going to pay that much more for care she's going to want some special special for it. You are coming from a place where you believe what you are offering is a REALLY fair deal. She ONLY looks at the actual number of dollars MORE she has to pay for what she's getting now. It's not about FAIR or your good care. She just wants the cheap. She doesn't care HOW you got to what is fair or what others are charging. She only wants to know how much more for her and can she talk you completely out of it or just do a few dollars more a week. Just buckle up and be understanding when she says no or tries to negotiate. She already knows your good care so don't defend the raise with that. It's not personal and it's NOT convinceable... you can't convince her to pay more. She's fine with what she's paying now OR she may even believe what she does now is too much. Lastly, I encourage you to never give rate info so far in advance. One month is plenty of notice. |
Quality daycare is not cheap or easy! No one on the outside seems to understand this
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Originally Posted by grandmom: ;) |
I feel for you. Money always seems to be cause for problems for us. :( Stay true to your self. You know what your worth and a increase should not be a surprise. Specially if you haven't done one in a yr or so with your kids. The cost of living is going up each yr. That is why biz give one a yr increases in pay. Not all do but your your own boss you should be able to grant a increase 1 a yr like the rest of the working force. What I would do is call diff. daycares around you and get rates and facilities. Put it all on paper for mom and dad. Put it in front of them and tell them you are well with in your right to increase. Your not making a outrageous increase to your rate. They where used to getting a discount and now your not doing them anymore. I also would put in front of them how much it cost to do daycare and what their money pays for. If they want to argue money then tell them they could provide there own snacks, drinks and breakfast/lunch to help out with the cost. If your on the food program that won't help but you know where i am going at. My thing is that if the money is the problem there really going to have a hard time going somewhere else and being able to find care for less then what your new rates are. Not many people are doing discounts now.
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You are all so wonderful. I needed to read these comments. My husband and I discussed this and I was ready to bend and offer $20 a day per child just to try to appease her but after thinking about it I said NO. I do have the market rates and will use them to show the parents the average rates not that I think it will matter. I think she was txting me trying to talk me out of it because she is the one who is opposed not her ex and when we sit down I think there maybe a difference of opinion.
I will be polite and smile at her and tell her my rates and let her know that is the bottom line take it or leave it. At the end of the day I may be 2 dck's less but have that much stronger of a backbone. Thanks again everyone. |
I am with grandma on this...STAND TALL! STAND FIRM!
Trust me we all make mistakes. The ones that want to get everything and give nothing are the ones that are worth losing anyways.... DONT beat yourself up. HUGS to you!!! now take a deep breath |
So they were paying $200 a week and its 50 hours a week?! That is $2 an hour per kid. And you want to raise to $250 a week and still 50 hours? that is still only $2.50 an hour. She is lucky that you are that nice!!!!
Maybe add in the per hour thing at the meeting! good luck! Keep your backbone, you are worth it! |
No they are currently paying a daily rate of 20 per full day for one child 30 per full day for 2 children or 10 per half day for one child and 15 per half day for 2 children. I am going to charge them 200 a week for a 40 hr week some times more so its 2.50 per hour per child. Not that much when you break it down. Thats for the summer. The school year rate will be $100 a week for the 3 yr old and I will only charge them 25 for the days the 6 yr old is here. Granted I know the 3 yr old is here less hours during the school year but I had to set a rate and $25 a day it is.
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I totally agree with the above posts. As she even stated...this is YOUR business. Lay down the rules and let her hit the door if she is unwilling to abide by them. : )
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My husband gave me a wake up call that I didnt want to hear but I knew he was right whne he said "Daycare parents want cheap and reliable. Other than that they dont care of you sit them in front of the tv and feed them gummy bears all day" So sad, yet so true:(
Dont take it personal its just the nature of the biz. It was so hard for me at first to accept this. I just had to learn that I am giving good care for my own self esteem and for the children's sake. |
I just had mom number 2 call me about rates. I think I am just at my limits for what I can handle. I am beginning to think I am just not cut out for this. You all seem so together and sure of yourselves. I am going to bed and hoping tomorrow is a little better then today.
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Originally Posted by awestbrook713: It's tough for people to accept paying more...even though the cost of doing business increases and it is truly justified. Years ago, an agency that I use gave me a print out of what the lowest to highest rates were in my area and I realized my rates were way low...I hadn't raised them in awhile. I showed this to my current families and they all accepted the increase w/o any problems, because they realized what a great deal they'd been getting! Wishing you the best of luck! :) They have been getting a crazy cheap deal and you deserve to get paid more! |
I have added in to my contract that I will review & adjust the weekly rates each October to reflect the rise in costs of living each year. So, I will notify the parents in October of the new rate increase if any, and then it takes effect in January of the new year. By adding this wording in your contract, parents will at least have an idea that it is coming and can plan for it.
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i forget what part of NY you are in, but i am in NY too. i just received the new market rate summary (for the whole state), so if you need a copy, i can email it to you.
i would stand your ground. some may leave, and that may be hard financially at first, but then you can attract clients who care about quality and will respect you more. a wise man (my FIL) once told me "never charge less then you deserve for the sake of good exposure. in the end, all you will attract is people who don't respect you for what you are truly worth." |
Mandy_jane: I have added into my contract for 2012 that I reserve the right to raise my rates once a year. I do not plan on raising my rates after this one for quite a while.
I'm from upstate melskids and that would be wonderful if you could email that to me. I think I have the new rates but I could be wrong. I would like as much information as possible. |
I can deff see how the dcm is up set. your going from 150 for two kids full day to 250 for two chilsren. That is a big price diff for familys. I would start out slow then move up. good luck
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200 not 250 they are only here 4 days a week. It is a big difference and I understand but I was not being fair to myself with the rates I was charging. I am giving them 2 months to decide and if they don't stay I will understand but I also know I will find families willing to pay what I am asking and they may be much better fits.
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Originally Posted by awestbrook713: The only reason I got to that point is because I was stepped on so many times that a decision had to be made... Close or Get Tough Skin. :o I started with unicorns, lolipops and stardust in my eyes... :p I also am hoping today will be a better day for you. :Sunny: |
Originally Posted by awestbrook713: |
I was the parent paying the daycare provider for a while and I would be upset to but this is my business and there are parents out there willing to pay these rates. I am still lower then the average and don't think my rates are unfair at all.
The more I think about this parent being upset the more I think how if they leave it may be best for everyone. I have gone through so much with this family, fighting to get paid, fleas (which I may have to get an exterminator if what I have done personally doesn't get rid of them), child messing on my floor daily until I said pull ups or she is not allowed here, parents bringing kids unannounced at 545 am, cancelling last minute constantly, picking up early constantly. Its just coming clear it isn't worth it. I love these kids but can't stand the parents if that makes sense. The second mom that called is dependable and I am willing to work with. I guess being a daycare provider just means picking and choosing your battles and I have choosen mine. I love reading all of your posts for experience I hope one day I am as brave and bold as all of you that have been doing this for a long time. |
I should add to my previous post that I did bring alot of boldness with me from my previous job as a nurse. I learned that "sweetness" wasnt doing my patients any favors if they couldnt hear the message behind the sweetness KWIM? Sometimes boldness is all some people are able to understand.
"Kindness" is great. "Niceness" doesnt do any one any favors not even the people you are being nice too. Because sometimes your firmness is what they need to face to mature a bit. Think of it this way, this is just 1 family out of your whole group. Do you want to close your doors to all the nice families because this family needs a discount? Is this family worth closing over? Because thats what will happen if you cant make enough $ to make it worth your while KWIM? Hope that doesnt sound harsh. My dh will tell you that I am too nice (to everyone but him!:lol:) So sometimes these things I say to you I have to say to myself when I change a policy. |
Originally Posted by awestbrook713: If I was you I would charge just a WEEKLY FLAT RATE therefore no confusion you are giving up to much income by doing day rates. My WEEKLY rate is 125 a week for ages 6 weeks til age 5 and in school I dont do school age. |
That is what I am trying to do but the parents don't want to have to pay that much if there child only ends up here some of the days. They feel they are paying for something they aren't getting but what they don't understand is they are paying for there childs spot. Parents just don't get it.
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I didn't read all the responses, but if you know that you are cheaper than most daycares, let her walk, she'll want to come back, or be too proud to call you and say you're right.
Then she'll end up paying more somewhere else. If you are equal with every other daycare in charges, she will see that you've been nice to undercharge her all this time as well as they will likely not be so accomodating to the "special" as nanny usually puts it. She won't receive the discounts for the 6 yr old, etc. I would also say that by the tone of the text, or at least what I hear, she is used to the "special" and fully expects you to bend over backwards for her again. Hold firm, don't give in, and don't give her the special treatment, not even one ounce |
melskids I clicked on link but it just brings me to google sign in.
DEHmom your right she is, I am so nervous about this sit down with her and the dad, she is the type of person I wouldn't put it past her to blow up on me when she doesn't get her way which I will then just show her the door and not have to deal with the family anymore. As far as today being a better day I want to announce it is 10 times better. Just had another parent tell me she is staying with me, my rates are fair and I am a good person and awesome babysitter(daycare provider lol) I needed this boost of confidence and I was really worried about losing this family because they are so dependable and the kids are great!! |
Originally Posted by awestbrook713: Just remember, keep your cool, no finger pointing, name calling, or even bringing up the past. She remembers what she charged you, so don't bother bringing that up. Just hold your head high, bite your tongue, only say what you need to say and make sure you remain professional. Then they will walk away, storm away, name call and all that, then they will calm down and realize how much of a jerk they were being and they will feel like ****. And will respect you more in the end. Whether they admit it or not. |
Originally Posted by awestbrook713: Think of it this way...when you go buy a new book in your favorite series, would you like it if you had to buy the whole series just to get the new book? NO. It's a service, you say....well, say you take your car for an oil change that takes 20 mins, would you like the mechanic to say you have to pay for an hour of service because he only counts his "spots" by the hour, and not by what you actually need? NO Why is daycare the one place that thinks you need to pay for 5 days if you're only using 3 of them? |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: The hourly wage paid to childcare providers is so low that we are forced to charge for spaces, regardless of whether parents use them or not. If you want to pay at least minimum wage for the 3 days you use then I would gladly only charge you for those 3 days. Oh and FWIW, not sure about auto repair shops where you live but where I live auto mechanics charge by the hour too......even if it only takes 20 minutes to do the job, the rate is still hourly. Oil change places charge by the job. |
Is the mechanic limited to spots he has by the state? No if I don't show he takes the next guy that walks through the door needing an oil change. He doesn't have the same repeat clients every day, he doesn't have to worry about going over numbers.
I may be here to watch your children but I am not here to be taken advantage of. If your job decided they need you one day and not the next how would you feel about not getting paid because they decided they don't need you and you have no say over the matter. I am not here to get defensive but why are we not valued like we should be when we are responsible for the most valuable things in our lives children? |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: You pay for 30/31 days of water even if you go on vacation for 14 of those days. If you need daycare the same 3 days, and only those three days each week, most people will charge for those three days--and try to fill the other two with another child. If you need 3 days per week, but they VARY (one week it's MWF, the next it's T,TH,F, etc), then the provider has the right to charge for all 5 days, because they can't predict WHICH 3 days you will need, and therefore can't fill the other two days...do you see? (and FTR, you pay a mechanic a flat rate for an oil change...whether it takes 10 minutes or 55 minutes...so, the same principle on which daycares charge). |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: |
Originally Posted by Unregistered: $7.25 x 30 hours (3 days) = $217.50 More than TWICE what I get for 5 days. Full-Time IMHO, Your point has NO validity. |
I'm totally confused on what hours the children the children are there.
It looks like they are 3 years old and 6 years old. I can see the 3 year old being there all day but wouldn't the 6 year old be in school? Wouldn't you charge them a school age rate through the school year? It sounds like they are only there full-time in the summer so why the big changes 8 months ahead of time? I would have done it much closer to the summer. Maybe do a 3,4 and 5 day rate. Alot of providers in my area do that because parents really don't want to pay for a whole week if they are only using 3 days. I would have everyone fill out a schedule form and let them know that the days they put down are the days they will be charged for BUT if they aren't putting down a full week don't expect there to be room for their child if they were to need care on another day other than what they put down. That is what I do for my parents. |
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