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daycarediva 10-28-2019 11:07 AM

Tantrum Advice
 
New 2yo.

EPIC tantrums. Over very, very, minor things. Eg. someone is standing too close to him, I scoot his chair over an inch, his mom takes off his coat, I put his coat on to go outside, I take his coat off to come inside, he isn't served first at lunch, someone is talking next to him, we sing a song he doesn't like, someone is playing with a toy (he doesn't even want...).

It goes on. I honestly feel that there may be an underlying developmental issue, but he's so young, and there are no 'aha' moments, but many small 'hmmmmm' ones.


Tantrums- he runs at me full force, head down and plows into me like a dang BULL. He has bounced off and landed flat on his back on the floor, gotten up, and done it again. Any picking him up is flailing, kicking, scratching, attempts to bite, etc.

Redirection=more of this.

He will notttttt calm/self regulate at all. Any assistance with helping him do so is met with more screaming/attempts at violence. Of course, it's a huge safety issue as one of us has to remove him and either let him destroy the lunch room, or remove the rest of the children and let him destroy the classroom.

Today, at the 14th tantrum, I put a gate up, cleared the mud room of everything, and plopped him in there. He was asleep on the floor in under 2 minutes.

Mom swears he doesn't take a morning nap, but we WILL be putting him down for one tomorrow, just to see if it improves.

Big sister (4) says he gets put in his crib a lot. I'm thinking that's what they do at home? cry=crib? Mom denies this, of course. He doesn't HAVE tantrums at home.

The tantrums last anywhere from 1-20 minutes. There are never tears, it's rage. They stop as fast as they start. No identifying solution/consistent 'fix'.

Yes the star is on the calendar. :ouch:

Ideas? Advice? My other kids do soooo well with our calm down space and even children younger than this guy are able to be calmed without 'giving in'.

Cat Herder 10-28-2019 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daycarediva (Post 710389)
Yes the star is on the calendar. :ouch:

This was my thought as rage is something very different from tantrums. The running AT you is a bad indicator IME. :hug:

daycarediva 10-28-2019 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Herder (Post 710390)
This was my thought as rage is something very different from tantrums. The running AT you is a bad indicator IME. :hug:

I am thinking something along the lines of ASD. As the only other child I have had with that much unfounded rage was my own child with ASD.
Other indicators-
very sensory avoidant, he even gets upset when other children finger paint. Substitute made the mistake of asking is he wanted to paint and he lost his mind for about 15 minutes, then walked away like nothing just happened.
eats 5-6 foods
lack of eye contact
lack of back and forth communication, his speech is delayed, he does talk some, but AT toys/people, not TO.
no pointing things out to anyone, looking back for reassurance, etc
the 'tantrums'
He does this unusual little 'dance' when excited. Same 'dance' every time.
he tip toe walks, motor development is delayed
he has zero idea of his own safety. Walks off play equipment
he's a runner

'tantrum' was lack of a better word. This isn't an emotional meltdown, it's a complete TEMPER/fit. He loses it over everything.

Cat Herder 10-28-2019 12:00 PM

You are thinking the same thing I am. It is a very difficult thing to manage in group care, as you know. :hug: The things you can do to help your own child are not things that can be done with other people's kids. It is made incredibly difficult when the parent does not want to see it, help with it and flat out denies it exists. My gut would want to help, but I would really think it through as to what effect it will have on the other kids and your own family's needs at this time. :ouch: This is one of those hard choices because he may not actually be able to help it but we still have the responsibility to keep everyone else safe first. It's tough.

Ariana 10-28-2019 05:07 PM

Ignoring is the only thing that ever works in my experience. Let him run at you, kick, punch do whatever and be still as a tree. He will get tired without reaction from you. I have had 4 kids this age do this and with the exception of one kid I had to term because she would hit her head off the floor, ignoring worked within a week.

All children in my opinion had anxiety disorders and one has major sensory avoidant issues.


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