Treating some children more favorable than the others
 

Is it appropriate for day care staff to treat some children more favorable than the other children? Example: child not made to follow the rules or to get by with actions others are disciplined for?

Thank you

Well, of course it is not appropriate. Sadly it happens in a lot of daycare and schools. We pulled our child from school when we saw that the sibling of a teacher was bullying the other children. The second teacher commented "isn't it interesting to watch the pecking order?"

This type of favoritism flows from the top down and as parents we need to call notice to it and take action to remove our children from that type of surrounding. It causes inferiority complexes that can last a lifetime.

Don't deal with the staff, make the director aware of the situation.

With children, if you want them to abide by the rules, you have to make them ALL abide by the rules. If one is allowed to get away with something that the others aren't, then it won't be long before you have a revolt on your hands when the rest of the kids get sick and tired of being held to a different standard.

behavior thats not ok begets consequences...
 

Hi, this is my first post but this one resonates with me. While I don't think that it's fair to treat children differently and hold them to different standards, I do believe in the rewards system and the consequence system. What makes it work for me is that I am consistent to the point of being anal retentive about it, but it does work. Maybe I seem like a grade "A" meanie to the kids and parents of the kids that choose to not follow the rules or make sad choices because they have to deal with the consequences (Time outs, losing "good behaviour coins", not getting a special treat at snack time...they always get a snack but maybe they lose out on the fun snack). But on the other hand, the rewards for following the rules and making good choices make it well worth doing the right thing and the kids and parents thank me for that. The one thing that I always tell my kids is that "if you have a good day, I love you; if you have a tough day, I love you; nothing that you could ever do could ever make me love you less. Tommorrow is another day and we can start all over again" Then I give them hugs and kisses and reassure them that I mean what I say. Also, the rules remain the same for everyone, no exceptions and no excuses. Nothing bothers me more than hearing a parent blame a child's awful behaviour on anything. Knowing why is irrelevant, what matters is how to fix it.

I agree with the last post, that is exactly what I do and it works.