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judy14 08-27-2007 12:22 AM

Biting @ Daycare
 
I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

Unregistered 08-27-2007 12:26 AM

Biting for what Reason?
 
Here is a piece that I found on the internet for why children bite:

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Here is one course of action that is effective with children under three. One teacher is assigned to "shadow" the biter. If one teacher is with that child constantly, it is very often possible to restrain the biter when you see him/her getting ready to bite. Then you repeat the rule -"We do not bite. We use words." (If the child has no words, you can say them yourself. "I know you're angry because you can't use that toy right now, right? But you cannot bite for ANY reason.")

Then you can remove the child from the situation if it is warranted. Sometimes, if you've stopped the bite before it's occurred, the child can continue to play.
Now, this works only if the child is watched CONSTANTLY, which is a very difficult task. It's best to have teachers take turns being the shadow. If you have the luxury of enough teachers, however, this is an effective method of helping a biter to stop biting and start talking.

Unregistered 08-27-2007 12:37 AM

he or she may be expelled
 
If reasonable efforts have been made and the child continues to bite and hit children or staff, I believe that he or she may be expelled from the daycare. The staff should first try to work with the parents to see if there are reasonable ways of curbing the behavior. Each situation must be considered individually.

HRH 08-28-2007 11:27 AM

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

Unregistered 08-28-2007 02:53 PM

Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.

Unregistered 10-02-2007 07:18 PM

My kids a victim too
 
I don't get whay day care's keep around these aggresive children. In a matter of one weeks time my daughter has been bit 2X by the same 3 year old bully. This Bully is hitting and pinching the teacher, tackled antoher student and was pulled off just before biting. The school made me feel as if it was Okay because the other child has been with the day care longer and her mother pays more money for her to be there. Can I go through the state to fix this problem since the school seem to want to sweep it under the rug?

Kelly 10-02-2007 08:40 PM

Unruly Children that Bite and Hit Others
 
It is up to the daycare to separate the untruly child. I would think that after the third incident that the daycare has the right to remove the child from the class. You might want to check with your state's regulations at:

http://daycare.com/states.html

Unregistered 10-04-2007 11:28 AM

I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.

Unregistered 10-25-2007 12:59 PM

My child is a biter and I am at wits end
 
I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

Michael 10-25-2007 01:19 PM

Biting In Daycare
 
Well said. It happens in all Daycare. Many parents of bitten children think that the biting child or the parent has a problem in the home. Children who can not, or are too young, to express themselves, do so by biting. This is normal. They are in a new environment which can be both frustrating and make a child anxious. It is important at that time to make sure the provider takes the time to adjust the child in expressing themselves more effectively. Limited separation is fine. Expelling a child should used only be a last resort. Understanding is what is needed.

Unregistered 11-01-2007 01:17 PM

My son does it too
 
Yesterday my son got kicked out of the daycare, let me explain the story. When my son was born i had to put him in a daycare, he was not but a few months old when a little girl a year and a half older then him started biting him, well the provider would never tell us about it or produce reports, so one day i decided to watch her, the little girl walked up to my son and bit him on the back 2 times, the provider was staring at her the whole time this is going on, she did not fuss the little girl but instead fussed my son who did nothing. so i took him out of there and put him in another daycare, well he started biting there, but it wasn't all the time, accually the only time he would bite was when he was biten first, well yesterday he bite a little boy in the face, the daycare called me up and told me i needed to pick up my son and he was no longer welcomed back, when i got there she had all of his stuff in a bag waiting for me at the front door. i was irate with this, then i called her later to find out about something else and she proceeded to tell me that they excluded him from the halloween party and made him watch the other kids in there costumes and getting candy while he was being punished and waiting for me. what would you do in my situation

Sheri 11-01-2007 02:32 PM

Son was Kicked out of Daycare
 
Sadly, our son was kicked out of a private school when he was 6 years old. It was nothing more than his crying which disrupted the class. There is nothing that we can do but change the environment of our children to a more harmonious one. It seems like we are always searching for an adequate and understanding place for our children to learn but it is hard to find the right one. Most daycare are private businesses and we need to remember that. There are state requirements that must be followed but the bottom line is that it is a business and some operators do not want any disruption or can not handle it adequately. For those children that "don't fit in" we should continue looking for a one that has a true interest in the advancement of our kids. Otherwise homeschooling might be an option. It is a sacrifice of a parent's time but well worth the effort and time spent on life’s most precious gift

Unregistered 11-05-2007 08:42 AM

Biting / Preschool
 
I too am an educated, degreed preschool teacher. My classroom is harmonious and CHILD CENTERED. We have had a few behavior problems (mostly pushing, pinching, etc)

Let me first explain that young children do not necessarily have the vocabulary to express themselves. It is our duty to help these children find THEIR words. This can be a daunting task for children (and adults.) When an adult is angry, we have the ability to calm ourselves; this is not the case with very young children. They are still learning coping techniques. Empower these children by reviewing rules daily, posting visual signs to remind them, create social stories to read.

Also, allow me to speak for a moment on HOW young children learn. Young children learn through play. They construct knowledge through manipulating the world around them. Worksheets do little to increase a young child's knowledge. Worksheets and 'concepts' are abstract and young children are unable to think abstractly. Young children are concrete thinkers.

Kelly 11-06-2007 12:38 PM

The Classroom that is Harmonious and CHILD CENTERED
 
Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.

Unregistered 11-07-2007 02:09 PM

child biting at daycare
 
As an educated Director of a daycare, I understand where parents are coming from. We have had many biters in our time, one was asked to leave. This child was placed with a nanny that had one other child, so the child could be closely monitored. It seemed to work for her.
Yet, for the daycare it comes down to ratio's of staff to children. Different states have different ratio's. It would be great if in a class of 8 toddlers with 2 teachers that one of the teachers could shadow the child all day. But then the other teacher now has 7 children to watch. I have watched a biter diligently and it just takes a quick turn of the childs head and the bite is given.
I would recommend that the parents talk to the teachers. If the teachers don't seem to care, then talk to the Director. If the Director doesn't care, you probably want to find another center. If they don't care about the biting, what else don't they care about?

RNmom 11-13-2007 05:36 PM

frustrated mom
 
I am the mother of an a very sweet 18 month old that started biting shortly after starting daycare two months ago. Until then he had only been cared for by family or friends. He loves to play and cuddle, cries when we leave the room- I thought it was the perfect time for him to enter an environment with organized play while everyone stays in the same room! He started to bite his older sibs at home and quickly stopped doing so after stern words and a short “time out”. The day care director assures me that his biting is not out of anger, aggression or frustrated. I have addressed HALTS with her (common reasons for toddler to bite, including Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Teething, or Sleepy), adding a late snack-that he may or may not get. No new teeth and 4 hour naps rule out the other two. I have attached a pacifier to his shirt-which he never used before. I have even had an early prevention professional come in and assess him and the class. She claims the reason he bites seems to be related to his lack of communication-despite his use of sign language. Still he continues to bite, sometimes twice in one hour. Today I was told he was a “danger to the classroom”. It is becoming my belief that some settings just might not be a good fit for a particular child/personality. Maybe the “lonely” aspect of HALTS is not being addressed. And if these child care professionals are so frustrated with my child, are they really providing optimal care?

Unregistered 12-05-2007 09:34 AM

Unfortunatly that's the flaw of the daycare/working parent system. It's just not ideal. I have no doubt that most daycare providers do their best, but they still have to care for mutliple children at once which is hard for anyone. The truth is if you put your child into child care you're going to have to be prepared for these types of things to happen. If you're unhappy with the situation find a different one. Either pay top dollar for one with low ratios or stay home with your child.

Mom of a Biter 01-29-2008 03:13 PM

First off, I am going to say that my son has had the habit of biting, along with other undesirable aggressive behavior at daycare. This seems to have increased over the last year since he was transitioned over into a new classroom. Secondly I want to say that no, my son does not bite at home. He's a typical toddler with his mood swings and acts of frustration, but he doesn't dare to bite anyone at home.

Thirdly, please don't consider these small children bullies because they haven't yet learned how to effectively and properly deal with their frustration. Nothing is more frustrating than being the parent of a biter and not being able to do anything when the daycare providers don't seem to care one way or another.

I've had discussions with his teacher about his biting. I've given her some tips to try to help prevent his biting other children. His teacher puts him in time out and that's it. She's seen how I discipline him: time out, then I get down to his level and explain that biting hurts our friends and we don't like to hurt the people we care about. But the providers unfortunately don't have time to watch every child closely. That's understandable.

My son no longer bites other children. He's getting better at expressing his frustrations and we're moving him to another daycare where the ratio is better than 10:1.

At this stage, biting and aggressive behavior is something that our children eventually grow out of. The behavior has no bearing on parenting abilities, education level or development of the aggressive child.

And to answer an earlier mention of why the daycare wouldn't provide the name of the child that did the biting.. think of it this way

Your child bit another child
That child's parent found out it was your child that did it
The parent confronts you and questions your abilities as a parent
(add any other kind of scenario)
It's for the protection of the child (and the parent, IMO)

MOM WHO HAD ENOUGH 02-20-2008 07:06 AM

Here's What I Did ~ It Worked
 
my son was repeatedly bitten, hit, etc by a bigger child. i complained and got all the same responses and "lines". i finally told them they needed to give the other parents a heads up because i was going to file an assault charge against the child the next time he touched my child. (not that i would have) but would you believe it stopped instantly and completely?

hmmmmmm?

MLB 03-19-2008 03:12 PM

Just a Sticky situation
 
As a director I can say that this is always a sticky situation. We are not allowed to tell who bit either. This policy protects all families in the center. Kids do bite for several reasons so it is hard to have an iron clad policy. Dismissal is the last resort but sometimes necessary when looking out for a whole group. We can't make everyone happy we either have the biter's parents upset with us for not handling the situation or the one that got bit parents all upset about what we are going to do to fix it. It depends on why their biting, where, how hard, how frequent. Just because we have to occasionally disenroll children for biting does not mean we do not care about the kids or if we keep a biter that we are just in it for the finances. Hence, we are always in the middle of a sticky situation. Shadowing sounds great but is usually not reasonable in a group setting with ratios. There is no set answer for this problem but if your childcare has been reasonable then try to understand the decisions that they have to make. It is just a part of life and being vendictive and filling complaints and making threats is just silly and a waste of perfectly good energy that could be used to better your child's situation.

Unregistered 03-19-2008 05:53 PM

How should a teacher respond
 
Our toddler is being bitten by another baby in day care in his back and the bites are very bad and he has started kicking, biting and slapping me now also. I am more concerned about what the teacher does in this situation when he/he becomes aware of it. I am very worried that my son is taught that biting is not OK and that what happened to him is explained in a way he can understand - I do not want him to do the same thing to others as a reaction which is already the case. What are daycare teacher taught on this?

lpurvis 03-26-2008 06:03 AM

I removed my child from one center because my child was bitten 7 times in a course of a month and half after moving up to the toddler room. My ex-center seemed to take NO action, and gave no extra 'eyes' to watch the kid that was biting.
My dd has been in her new center for almost 2 weeks, we haven't had the FIRST bite or the first scratch, bruise, nothing. She was constantly bruised and scratched at the old place.

I think it all boils down to WATCHING the kids.

Unregistered 04-10-2008 03:44 PM

Crying mom!
 
So, my son use to bite alot, went to every doctor, shrink known to man. Finally, we got six months and no biting. As of last week, my son bit due to fighting over a toy at daycare. Well, my son is 4 and today he got suspended from school due to a child stating he bit him.
So, what is the best course of action and do they understand punishment and for how long? I am desperate and so tired of the tears.. any help would be great.

Crying Mom

praetorian 05-22-2008 06:53 PM

What should I do?
 
Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks

mac60 05-27-2008 03:38 AM

I know some are not going to like my comments, but, I am from the old school. I feel that if a child bites, especially a child that is 2 years old and up and should understand NO, they deserve to be punished, and I don't mean a time out, I mean a spanking. Haven't parents noticed lately how children act these days. It is because there are no consequences for their bad behavior, and I am sorry, but a time out in the corner for a few minutes is not punishment. Yes, I believe in punishment/consequences for bad behavior. At some point a child will learn, bite someone get spanked. It is amazing how our society the past 15 years has become oblivious to bad behavior out of children. And then when you have the government stepping in and telling parents how they can discipline their children, it is rediculous. Until parents once again own the right to discipline their children for poor behavior, it is going to continue to get worse. And right now it is bad enough.

Unregistered 05-28-2008 06:19 PM

I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!

Peggy 06-05-2008 05:04 PM

The biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter!
 
That is an interesting part of the story. I wonder if she knows her mom is the boss. Maybe she feels she deserves more respect. Why not awarding her the "princess of the day crown" for a day and see if she still bites in that period. Could tell a lot by it IMO.

Unregistered 06-20-2008 05:25 AM

My child has a biting issue as well.
 
I echo many of your thoughts and concerns. Everyone, please read the book "No Biting" by Gretchen Kinnell. I think you will find it very helpful. My son has been expelled from three daycares. He started biting at 10 months old and is now 25 months old. (Interesting note: my sone only bites at daycare and usually only his peers as a result of a conflict) Biting does happen, and it is unfortunately an expected behavior. The formentioned book is directed to daycare providers, but as a parent of a child with a biting issue, I found it very helpful. I am a very concerned parent and I have done everything to the best of my knowlege regarding my son's biting, but the answers are not as easy as some of you think. I wish everyone on this thread the best. I could writ a book of my own regarding my experience. Whether you are a parent of a child that has been bitten, a parent of a child that is biting, or a child care provider, we all have a responsibility to helping this behavior cease. Good luck to all!

Unregistered 07-08-2008 07:57 AM

My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!

Unregistered 07-22-2008 07:30 PM

Biting
 
It depends on the child-and yes the staffing needs to step up and be alert more. No age is acceptable to biting, but it is up to the staff to take action to all ages. I have been a preschool teacher for 18 yrs. A child who is 1-3 uses biting for "feelings-" some are teething, while this is a source of "touch-" however a older 3 yr old does know that biting hurts and will use it out of anger-to redirect any age is the best-the biter needs to be monitored more-and if I were you, honestly-I'd tell the "director" that if something isn't done YES you are filing a report-if your child is the one being bite-are you getting accident reports this is happening? What time? What was the child doing? Etc-all accidents in center-base or in-home should be documented for the safety of the one getting bite, the biter, and the center. BITING is serious-and can be stopped. Hope I pushed you to be more aggressive-your child's safety IS your responsibiliy-STEP UP- :-) I'm behind you.

Unregistered 08-20-2008 05:59 PM

Bites
 
Here is what I believe. I get it that children bite. Once, time out, twice - if you call the parents and they no longer have child care, they will take them to the dr or whatever it takes to change the behavior. If the child has a disorder - it can be corrected - hate to say it, but sorry - no daycare. If the parents don't like it, I agree, file a charge against them - either assault or against the parents for neglect. They will take notice and either correct the behavior or take them to a dr.

Unregistered 08-25-2008 09:42 PM

Severity
 
I've been quite reasonable with our daycare and not over-reacting to a few bites here and there. Recently, the same child has biten my son 4 times in one week. I can handle small bites out of frustration, due to not having the appropriate communication skills, but it's when the bites become very severe that I cannot stande idle. When you pick your son up and he has a wound on his arm as if someone put his 1 inch arm in a vice and tightened it until it bled, you start to think differently about allowing the biting child to remain amongst the group. Sure, i'm sorry for the parents of the biter and realize i could have been the parent of child with a behavior issue, and may some day be, but that simply does not change the fact that i have to leave my child every morning in a room where another child is waiting to inflict bodily harm to him. When our son was younger, he began developing certain behaviors that ALL kids do. It's what you do in response to those behaviors in combination with your child's developmental capabilities that will either stop them or fail to. I think I've told my son, "Use your words" (signs before speach developed or even just holding him and making him point at what he wanted - lots of trial and error at very young ages), more than 5,000 times in his short two years. Now that he has developed a strong vocabulary, we do not let him get away with ANYTHING unless he manifests his desires in words. If he cries or even whines in the smallest way, he does not get what he wants until he talks in a normal voice, asks nicely, and says thank you. It has changed everything and he is such a good little boy. Some parents may do this but it must be done all the time and in every situation. It also stimulates language development. Tomorrow, we are going to ask our daycare to make some drastic changes to protect our son. I wish we did not have to but I cannot put my son in harms way each day and just go on to work and be content and wait for someone else to fix things.

Unregistered 08-30-2008 08:53 AM

YOU ARE SOOO WRONG!!! You obviously should not be in charge of kids.
 
I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 4850)
My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!


Unregistered 09-02-2008 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 6645)
I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!

I take it your not a daycare provider? Do you realize that daycare providers/ and daycare centers can be sued by the parents of the child/children that were bit? You make it sound as though providers just discipline the action! Listen, I am very well schooled in the job that i do but i do have to protect not only my children but the children that have been placed in my care. I provide a well-organized, well-supervised, and stimulating atmosphere for the children in my care. IE the 3 strikes your out policy, i work with my parents to come to a solution together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and the child may need more care than i can give! I don't think it is the jobs of us daycare providers to have to put up with aggressive, disruptive, or destructive behavior. I have more than one child in my care, so do you think it is fair to the other children to have all my time taken up by this one child with the bad behavior? How long are us daycare providers expected to put up with this type of behavior? I am here to provide for your children, not raise them!!!!!!

Unregistered 09-18-2008 09:26 AM

bite every day
 
My son is in a daycare center. When he was just 6 months old and still in a swing he was bite on the head - first day. Now he has moved to the toddler room at 15 months. The same kid that bit him on his first day is now in the toddler room. She bites my son almost every day. He has large bruises on both arms. We've been in the toddler room with the biter for two weeks. The daycare ladies say that my son doesn't respect her space and that's why she bites. I've very concerned. I'm thinking of taking my son out. He was well cared for in the baby room and we had no problems because the bitter went to the toddler room a few days after we started in the baby room. Any suggestions?

DCMom 09-19-2008 08:55 PM

Biting is such a difficult thing for all concerned~the biter, the bitee and the provider.

This conversation came up with my in-home childcare provider. Another parent at the dc has a 4 yo at my daycare and an 18 mo old at a different daycare because our daycare doesn't currently have an opening for under 2. At any rate, she was not happy with the way the other provider was handling her other daughter getting bitten. She felt like her child was being punished for being bit. It prompted her to ask how our common provider handles biting. She said she has not had a biter in several years but the way she would handle it is as such (which I found interesting). She said she has a zero tolerance for biting. Since biting generally happens in the toddler years, she 'contains' them the first time they bite. She immediately separates the biter, whether in a exersaucer or a porta crib whatever is handy with a 'NO BITING' (effectively a time out for toddlers) The bitee gets all sorts of attention, the biter is shown the mark that they made. After the bitee is comforted, she releases the biter and shadows him/her. If the biting happens again, the parent is called and the biter is isolated, within the room, but isolated for a longer period of time. Any issues for the biter are addressed with the parent (HALTS was mentioned in an earlier post). It is a whole process that could take pages, but the gist of it is the biter is made aware that biting is bad and the bitees are given the attention. As many times and to the degree necessary. She said she had one child many years ago that had a corner in the daycare room that was hers alone to play in (had fence type thing she used to make a giant playpen). The biter was allowed out for short periods, but as soon as she tried to bite someone (again shadowing) she went right back into her spot (all sanctioned by the parents). Eventually she figured out she could be with the other kids if she didn't bite them. I personally think that would be exhausting for a provider~this woman has the patience of a saint.

Something I wonder about is in her 16 years as a provider 'she can count on one hand the # of biters she has had'. She said it has always been resolved in a very short amount of time and she has never had to expel anyone because of it. Is it supervision, is it the overall atmosphere of the daycare (ie: zero tolerance), is it mixed ages together rather than a roomful of toddlers, the number of kids or just dumb luck? I don't know that there is any 'right' answer for every child. I hope I never have to deal with it...

Unregistered 10-03-2008 02:12 PM

my child was at a DC where they did absolutly nothing about biting, as far as i can tell. my child was the Bitee, almost constantly by this one other child. We have since moved to a new daycare, and now my child is the biter.
This new facility does have a policy, and we are working with them, but its so frustrating, since we have to recondition our child to unlearn the bad habits that were picked up from the old school.

Unregistered 10-10-2008 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 4850)
My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!

Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!

Unregistered 10-10-2008 10:34 PM

My son was kicked out Daycare today for biting. Unfortunatley this is not the first time. When it started he was about 18 months and the day care he was in started sending him home about once a week for biting. Then they kicked him out. I tried everything, there were no other daycares with openings and I had to quit my job. I made up my mind to take some time off with him and try to let him mature. I stayed home with him for a year. When I first put him in daycare again he did not bite. He started a few months after. I was getting called to pick him up all the time. So I switched him to another daycare before he could get kicked out again. Once again he did not bite for a month or so. Then he started biting at that daycare too. My child was refered to special education for learing disabilities, so I had to move to a daycare in the school district so he could get picked up. He did not bite at first at this new Daycare either. Then he started bitting everyday. This morning when I went to drop him off, the director told me that the State called and said my son could no longer attend the daycare because he had bit another child and caused the child to bleed. I dont know what to do. The family doctor never has any answers, so I'm wondering what type of doctor I should take him to? Does anyone know if he can go to another daycare now that he has been reported by the state? I dont want to have to keep moving him around but I need to work. It's really not fair that he has to keep going through adjusting over and over again. I also have a daughter who each time this happens has to start over again at a new daycare and hard for her as well.

Unregistered 10-21-2008 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered (Post 8223)
Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!


This is exactly what i'm talking about!!! Ye Ole "my child doesn't do that at home" and ya know what, every single provider out there knows exactly what I'm talking about! No one ever said anything about anyone being bad parents. And i really don't care if your upset! I have other children to take care of......period!!! And yes, calling the parents would do something.......It would remove the bitter from my care and hence giving the other children the chance to grow and develop without being bit! Let me tell you something........I had a biter in my care for 2 years.......i gave him 2 YEARS so to say that we providers don't work with these types of children are just bogus! The straw that broke the camels back was that he bit one of my daycare kids so hard that she had to go to the ER all because he wanted the toy that she was playing with!!! Now do you think thats fair to that child and that childs parent to have to come to daycare afraid and scared that she may be bit again.......No its NOT! There are daycares out there that have people on their staff that will work more in depth with that child and parent, However I'm not one of them! I don't have to be one of them! Oh and don't feel Sorry for the children in my care, for #1. My parents are very, very happy with the care i provide and for #2. they don't need your pity!!! I have "raised"(along side of some excellent parents) some very, very well adjusted and intelligent children, that have entered into school grade levels above their peers!


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