Getting a 20-Month-Old to Ask for Things... Too Early?
I watch a 20 month old and not sure if I'm expecting too much in the communication department.
When he wants or needs something he will not initiate by saying a word, pointing, gesturing, anything. He will just stare at me longingly until he starts to cry. In fact he really doesn't initiate any sort of communication with me. He will sometimes grunt or nod or shake his head if I initiate the interaction first, but he never comes to me to indicate that he wants to ask something or anything. Example at lunch today. I have been putting only the main course on his plate at meal times and then I put his milk and fruit and veggies just out of reach so he has to somehow indicate that he wants them. He loves all foods. Today he was staring at his milk and started pouting so I knew he wanted his milk. I waited to see if he would get my attention. Nothing. Just pouting at his milk. After 10 minutes, I said "what do you want?" nothing. Wouldn't even look at me. I said "I think you want your milk. Say milk!" (I know he able to sign milk). Again, nothing. Is he to young to expect him to do this? I'm comparing him to the other infants I had who've all been early talkers so perhaps I'm being too hard on him. Thoughts? Advice? |
He may not have to ask at home...everything might be just handed to him.
I model what I want them to say, and eventually they get it. If a toddler is pointing at his water cup, I say, “Drink, please.” I do give them the cup, but I encourage them to ask. Personally, I wouldn’t withhold his food at meals—I would find other opportunities to teach him. Toys, books, joining in on activities, etc. |
We have the exact same 20 month old! I asked a similar question and most people said it is not a big deal that they cannot ask for what they want. I disagree to some extent.
I honestly think that any behavior that sticks out to where you make a post is abnormal behaviour. Having worked with hundreds of kids I cannot remember a child behaving like this except for one I suspected to be on the autism spectrum. Most kids by this time ask for more and can nod yes and no. My current 14 month old can nod yes annd no and whines and points. Getting their needs met is extremely important and although it could be a case of the parents just doing everything I can’t fathom a child never ever having to ask for their needs to be met. Long story short, are there other things that seem off about him? The kid I had with ASD never once asked for anything ever in the year or so he was with me. I suspected ASD from the first day but waited until he was 2.5 before saying something because everyone said wait and see. If everything else seems fine then maybe he just needs some extra work in coommunicating. The 20 month old I have communicates mostly through Echolallia so just repeats what I have said. |
Originally Posted by Rockgirl: |
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice: |
Originally Posted by Ariana: |
My own guy now 2.5 was not ready to communicate that way at 20 months. Like the little one you described only had a fee words. (Though we heard him say other ones but would say them once or twice and not agin) as for indicating he wanted anything he would not do it. I think part of the problem was my other son (age 5) would get him stuff to make him happy. Finally at summer this year as he hit 2.5, he finally started talking more and it's only been in the last 2 months or so where I've gotten him to start to use words for stuff. But now asks with 4 or 5 word sentences so he has made a leap and caught up a bit.
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Originally Posted by Indoorvoice: The sister may also have something but girls tend to get diagnosed a lot later and show different symptoms because they learn how to mimic social behavior. Not saying she is or isn’t and it might very well be a quirk but something to think about, |
Do you implement baby signing ? It does help.
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Originally Posted by Silly Songs: |
Originally Posted by Jupadia: |
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