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-   -   Sudden Separation Anxiety (https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35537)

CountryMommy 10-11-2011 01:49 PM

Sudden Separation Anxiety
 
I have had a pair of siblings in my care for a little over 2 months now. They are 14 months and 3 years old. The little one cried or whimpered at drop-off for about a week and she's been fine ever since. She comes here in the mornings, stretches her arms out to me, and smiles. The older girl was great from the first day. She'd say bye to mommy and go off to play.

Last week, the older girl started crying at drop-off saying she wanted to go home. When her mom told her she had to go to work, she'd cry and say she wanted to go to work with her (mom's done this before so she knows it'd be a possibility). Today she clung to her mom again and cried at drop-off again. Her mom said her daughter has never done this before in the couple of years she's been in different dayhomes. She was very nice, not accusing at all, and said she didn't think it was me, but she was obviously concerned that she was acting up at drop-off. Five minutes after mom left, she was her happy, laughing, talkative self again. I texted mom and let her know she was fine now. She was nice about it and assured me that she thought it'd pass soon, as long as there was no real reason for her anxiety.

I can't help but feel it's me considering she's never done this before. I have been wracking my brain to see if I can remember what happened last week, if there's anything negative that could have happened, to make her not want to come here anymore. I can't think of anything out of the ordinary, nothing negative that happened. She's been with mom more often lately though. Last week, mom got sick and stayed home with her kids. This weekend was a long weekend so she got to spend some fun time with family for Thanksgiving. I don't know if that's it, that now she has loved spending some time with her mom so much that she wants more of it. Or whether I'm doing something wrong at my dayhome, like not fun enough activities for her, etc.

Her mom was sweet and assuring to me, but I know that if it were my child acting up suddenly I'd have a very hard time leaving my child at that place until I came to the bottom of the issue.

I have a hard time believing that my dayhome isn't fun for her because as soon as mom leaves, she calms down and has a blast at our place. Then she always tells me, "Will you tell my mom that I want to come again tomorrow?". We get along well and she compliments me, says I'm the greatest, etc. So why is she suddenly acting up at drop off?

Has this ever happened to anyone?

nannyde 10-11-2011 01:54 PM

Yup it's happened to us all.

Don't let the kid see one iota of concern on your part. If you add ANY energy to this it will get worse.

Do you have the ability to video her on your phone? If you do... tape her for a minute right after her mom leaves and send it to the moms phone immediately. Give her a video of the kid being perfectly fine as soon as she is gone.

That solves it with the Mom.

If the kid continues then do the Buh Bye Outside Program on her:

http://daycare.com/nannyde/the-dynam...in-daycare.htm

Crystal 10-11-2011 02:12 PM

I think at her age she is beginning to realize the length of time she will be away from Mommy. It's normal to protest when they are beginning to understand the concept of time.

It will pass.

If it doesn't, and the child typically enjoys being at your program, I'd consider that the child may be manipulating Mom into feeling guilty....and if so it needs to be discussed with Mom so that she does not feed into it.


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