Potty Training...........
Need some advise on policies! I have a DCM that insists on potty training dcg she will be 3yrs in March 2013 and really doesn't show any efforts (here) to potty. So today when DCM dropped her off she said dcg has been successful all weekend pottying and wanted to know if she can start sending her in panties...........I told her no cause I have had a dcb in the past that I allowed to do this and he kept peeing on the floor to the point that we had to have our carpets replaced and I have those really expensive $500 lg education carpets from Lakeshore so I am NOT trying to go down that path again! So I told her to bring her in pull-ups! Problem is she wants me to put her on the potty every hour............we have tried doing this with this dcg three other times with no success. We have a pretty busy day so stopping every hour isn't really something we can do. However I do have in my schedule timed potty breaks 9am, 11:30, 2:30 & 5pm. The other problem I have is DCM thinks daycare is a fashion show so she sends dcg in non-child friendly clothing so I have to strip her down each time stick her on the potty etc........ in the past DCM gets annoyed when dcg doesn't go potty here or has accidents............like I am some kind of magical potty training fairy! Now I have posted about DCM in the past...........she bases all of her daughters mile stones on what her friends kids are doing so since dcg isn't potty trained or knows her colors I have to hear about it everyday........some times she is just venting to me but honestly I feel like turning to her and saying.........."I GOT ENOUGH OF MY OWN PROBLEMS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOURS TOO!" When she says stuff about dcg not pottying or knowing her colors I feel like she is blaming me for failing to teach her this...........my kids are older and both A & B students........when they grew up I worked outside the home they went to a "play all day daycare" I never stressed with them learning anything before Kindergarten.................my only goal for them in a day was to get as dirty as possible and to have as much fun as they could. They couldn't even write their own names when they entered Kindergarten and I could have cared less!!!! I get questions all the time from DCM when did your kids ..................................... and my answer is they learned in Kindergarten!
So I want to get a feel for what other providers do, what are your rules? Below is what my contract says: 20. Potty Training: If your child is old enough to potty train, I will help you potty train them while they are in my care. I do expect you to continue the training once you pick up your child in the evening. Please do not send child in pull-ups/under pants until they have been using the potty at home for 2 weeks successfully. |
Originally Posted by daycaremom76: |
When I started this business I didn't have a problem with going from diapers to undies until I had a dcb that peed none stop. He never told me when he had to go. I would put him on the potty, he would pee and then like 20 minutes later there would be another puddle in the middle of the carpet! I don't let the kids drink non-stop all day so it wasn't like he drank too much. This went on for a good 6 months before I just had to let him go. Now I have new carpets and I am not trying to have my house smell like a urinal again! Up until now I really haven't had to face the issue again and that whole nightmare plays in my head. My daughter was a fast learner, once she got her first set of Hello Kitty undies she was done with the diapers. My son took a little longer but he used pull-ups. The only thing that makes me aprehensive with this dcg is that this is the 3rd attempt to potty train her. In the past the dcm decided pull-ups were to expensive and since she wasn't going at home dcm gave up. Now all the sudden she comes in today out of the blue and dcg is potty trained! However dcg didn't even show interest in the potty today and infact she never even peed on it today, but she peed in her pull-up all day. The dcm tells me stories all the time about what her gf's kids do and how advanced they are compared to dcg so I can't tell if this is just dcm pushing again cause all her friends' kids are trained or if dcg is really ready.
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oh and as a side note...........dcm hasn't said anything about potty dcg in weeks, no mention at all. And then suddenly this morning after a 2 day weekend she is trained.
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I would tell mom that all kids reach milestones at different times & that dkg is not ready to be potty trained. If she peed in the pull up all day while in your care it is pretty apparent that there is too much going on for her to go potty. Explain that you are not able to take dkg to the bathroom every hour but, that you are asking her every hour if she has to go. I would also ask that she be in simple pull down pants or skirts with simple shirts as well. Good luck!
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When my son stayed with a provider for 1 week, when I worked outside the home earlier this year (*I work outside the home 2-3wks out of the year at my husbands job*) , my son had just started going on his potty more consistently and signing toilet. (he wasn't even a year old then) She tried taking him, but he would act afraid to go,and not even sign to tell her he had to go. But on the last day of his care that week, he went potty for her,and was not even afraid. When i picked him up that evening,he even signed to me that he had to go.
I think some need to just get used to the habit in the different environment (of day care). You could tell this mom that kids are slower to adjust to PT'ing at daycare, compared to home because they tend to be "too busy" to stop and want to go. Or you could very jokingly tell her to get her dd on a video going,since she acts like shes not even PT, at your house. |
This has weighed on my big time last night. I didn't get to bed until after 3am and it's 7am here now and I am totally feeling it! So after researching what the experts say (us) I have come up with this policy.........let me know what you think!
POTTY TRAINING POLICY When you feel your child is ready for toilet teaching, I ask that you begin this teaching at home during a weekend or vacation. I will follow through and encourage your child while in my care. Toilet training will be done in a relaxed manner. I require that the child must be at least 18 months old and must be showing signs of readiness. The child must be kept in pull-ups at all times. Please keep in mind that the activity level here can distract your child from responding to an urge to use the potty, more so than at your home. Therefore, I will continue to use pull-ups until your child can and will announce that he/she must use the bathroom (not just at home, but here, as well) and can control his/her bladder and bowels for a few minutes beyond that announcement. Do not bring your child in panties or underwear until they have naptime and bedtime control established. During potty training the child needs to be dressed in “User friendly” clothing as much as possible. The best items are shorts and pants with elastic waists. Try to avoid really tight clothing, shirts that snap in the crouch, pants with snaps & zippers and overalls as often as you can. Your child will need to pull pants up and down, plus clothing with too many buttons or snaps makes it harder to get the child on the potty in time. I will only begin helping to potty train a child if you have been successful at home for a week prior. Please don’t ask me to begin potty training your child if you haven’t successfully began training at home. I will gladly follow your means of potty training. For example, if your child is rewarded a sticker for each potty in the chair, just provide the stickers I will follow your lead (no candy) I will not discipline your child if he/she has an accident. During potty training you are asked to supply me with at least 3 extra full changes of clothing, including socks and training & plastic pants or pull ups. These are to be left here and replaced as needed. Soiled clothes will be returned in a plastic bag at the end of the day. Toilet Learning Readiness Verbal Stages of Readiness: · The child tells you he/she has a wet diaper. · The child tells you he/she is wetting their diaper. · The child tells you he/she will wet diaper, can control her/himself and use a toilet. Physical and Psychological Signs of Readiness: · Stays dry for a long time. · Can recognize when diaper is wet or soiled. · Has bowel movements at a regular times. · Adults can recognize when a child is moving his bowels. · Can undress and pull up their own pants. (Important because this is the work of the child not caregiver.) · Initiates interest in using the toilet and ask to wear underwear. · Wants to be independent · Is able to physically get to the toilet and sit on it without help. · Must show a willingness to want to sit on the toilet and understand its function. My Policy Requires the Following: · Child will wear loose fitting clothing, which is easy to pull up/down by child. · No overalls, bib-type pants, onesies, or T-shirts with snaps between the legs · No pants with belts or one-piece outfits · A minimum of 3 changes of clothing, including sock, 3-4 pairs of training pants to leave here(an extra pair of shoes would also be helpful.) · Positive reinforcement must be continued at home. For the first week, the child will be scheduled to use the toilet at consistent times of the day whether the child indicates the need to use the toilet or not: 9:00 AM 11:30 AM 2:30 PM 5:00 PM Potty training Policy Agreement I have fully read the Potty Training Policy and agree to comply with the policies set forth. |
Originally Posted by daycaremom76: However, each child is different and you may need to take them every 30 mins, 45 mins, 1hr etc. They may not ask to go, you might just need to take them. Also, I know all kids reach it at a certain point where they are ready... However, 3 years old is pushing it. They should IMO be at least starting it then,,,and then that seems late too. I say this bc I've been in positions where kids learn they can control potty training and so they stall and basically tell you no. I had to potty train a 4 year old! Mom and dad said "she wasn't ready".....I wouldn't stand for a 4 year old going in their pants, she was done in a week... I'm just trying to help you, I've had horror stories!!! |
I would not take a child every 30 minutes, that is just not feasible. I dont even do every hour. Part of potty training is for this girl to go when the opportunity is there (scheduled time) and then communicate that she has to go at any other time. MOM needs to help teach her to recognize her needs and then communicate her needs by telling someone she needs to go. A child peeing on the potty isnt the whole part of potty training! The rest is undressing/dressing themselves, washing hands themselves, communicating their needs. I think the problem here is that mom's definition is just for her child to go on the potty but the provider's definition includes a lot more. I would not allow undies only until they are two weeks accident free AT DAYCARE so i see it for myself. you can layer pullups OVER underwear so that the child can still feel wetness. mom can also provider cloth trainers that again have cloth next to the body but still have a waterproof layer. I dont do cold turkey for daycare kids, I also dont train daycare kids....i only support what i am already seeing from the child or seeing done at home.
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above is what I gave to dcm this morning and her first response was that dcg doesn't know how to pull up/down her own pants. And dcm doesn't have money to buy pull-ups this week so she will try again next week. This is exactly my point............neither dcg or dcm are ready to be serious about this. I have taken dcg twice to the potty (in less then an hour) and she trickled each time. I printed her off a potty chart and now she keeps saying every 5 minutes she has to go! I am going to ask her every hour and see how that goes. I also have tons of diapers and pull-ups from other kids that out grew them or were left so I put a pull-up on her to see how she does. So far she's stayed dry so that's a good sign. Apparently she just let dcg run around in her undies all weekend and that just isn't something she can do here so learning here is going to be new for her!
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Originally Posted by Holiday Park: |
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom: Potty learning is also about responding to the child..........The potty schedule needs to fit their needs not the providers.....It needs to be convenient for the child. |
Originally Posted by LaLa1923: |
Originally Posted by LaLa1923: Originally Posted by LaLa1923: If children require this kind of individual attention to their training process then I fully expect the parent to take some time off over a long weekend or over a vacation period and teach their child on their time. I will NEVER take a child to the restroom at specifically timed intervals. I will NOT undress or redress a child who is training (they should know these skills BEFORE training). I do NOT allow children to be in underwear while at daycare until they have gone a FULL two weeks without an accident. This is for sanitary reasons and sanitary requirements trump all potty training requirements. Parents who expect their child care providers to do more than 50% of the work need to really take a step back and realize who is the parent and who is the provider. Parents parent (or teach) their children toilet use. Providers provide (or supply) the environment that supports these newly taught skills. |
Originally Posted by LaLa1923: |
Originally Posted by LaLa1923: I think implementing your potty training policy is a good idea. And I think it's reasonable to take a break to potty every 2 hours. |
I do NOT take children to the potty at timed intervals because as far as I'm concerned that's training the parent/provider and not the child! I also don't have the time in my day to do this.
My policy on potty training is as follows: Potty training is a parental responsibility. Potty training is to be started at home for at least two weeks prior to me starting potty training in my home. Although I will assist you at potty training your child, I will not do it for you. The earliest that I will work with a child to potty train him/her is 24 months. Children must be able to verbally or physically indicate that they need to use the potty before I will work with you on potty training. Children will remain in pull-ups until the child goes two weeks accident free. This procedure is for sanitary reasons. With that being said children are ONLY to wear pull ups when they are potty training at all other times children are to come in diapers. I don't stray from this policy. |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: I had a parent request that I take her son potty every 20 minutes. I seriously cracked up! It takes 10 minutes in the bathroom, so we would be in the bathroom, with just this one kid, every 10 minutes. Lady, get a clue! |
Originally Posted by daycarediva: Several years back I had a DCM who requested that I take her 19 month old DD into the bathroom every 20 minutes. Shut the door (because she deserves privacy) and read her a book from the pre-approved book list that mom provided for a minimum of 15 minutes and if necessary, squat next to her rub her back and talk soothingly to her so she can be relaxed enough to pee. Oh and if she has to go poo, I was to make subtle grunting noises to show her what I wanted her to do. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Um, yeah....what did she think I was suppose to do with the other 9 kids I had while I was doing "special" with her princess? ......she was ousted from her not too long after that. :rolleyes::rolleyes: |
I do not take them every hour but 2 1/2 hours is too long for one just learning. I send them every 1 1/2 hours and send them is what I do... I follow along but I put it in their hands to do what they need to do.
If parents are working at home on it but we do not during the day it really delays the progress. same the other way around. When a child nears 3 they often need a push. underware with long pants, stay on a tiled floor room if possible like the kitchen and lots of liquids. Children used to be ready at 20 months and now close to 3. Are todays children stupid? No parents are on the go to much and use pull ups instead of training pants. |
Originally Posted by itlw8: She went when she woke up from nap time but her pull-up was still wet, next break is at 5pm so we'll see how she hangs in there! But after going 11x's so far today she still can't pull up/down anything she just stands there and whines when I tell her to do either task. I even tried placing her hands on her waist with mine to show her to pull them down/up and she just shakes her hands free. I'll see what her mom says this afternoon. UGH! |
We are with these toddlers usually 9-10 hours a day. When a child goes home its typically bath, dinner and bed. When would an average working parent have the hours necessary during a typical work day to potty train a child? It needs consistency and several days to accomplish this, so yes I do think it is really the provider who needs to set the routine and training.
Go ahead and flame me but we are with these children more hours than the parent. |
Originally Posted by itlw8: Now we have kids going into Kindergarten having only been in underwear for a few short months yet have been writing their names and reciting the alphabet for a couple years before hand. :rolleyes::rolleyes: That gap is what confuses me. |
Originally Posted by Blackcat31: |
Originally Posted by daycaremom76: |
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom: |
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom: |
I have not read all of the responses, but I would change your policy to say:
I will assists you in PT your child when we both agree that they have reached all signs of readiness. ( I don't feel that age is an indication of when a child is ready to start potty training) I have had my fair share of PT issues with families and have dealt with the same families that are all about keeping up with the Jones'..... I would tell DCM some kids stay in the play stages longer than others. You can not compare your child to others. thats like comparing apples to oranges. I would also tell DCM that if she pushes the issue before the child is ready that it will backfire and end up taking longer than need be. Can DCG pull her own pants up and down without assistance?? If not, I would start there and teach DCG the potty process. Take down pants sit on the toilet wipe flush pull up pants wash hands dry hands turn off the light I make all of my dck do this before I will start to PT them. I only take the NON-PT kids that are still in diapers when they either had an accident or during scheduled toilet brakes. I walk them through the process every time when we go in. I have the others sit and watch each one of the kids do it and then we get through the line faster. Also, I would suggest maybe telling mom to do underwear first then pull up after so that you can secure the accidents should she have one. I do this so that the parents can see that their little one is having a million accidents a day and is not ready yet. I send all dirty clothes home, so the parents get to wash it................ after a few days of this, they get over it and realize that their child is not ready |
No she cannot pull her own pants up or down and that was one of my complaints. After DCM read the letter and sat down and thought about it she saw my concerns. She was also here when I had dcb that peed on my carpets so much they had to be replaced so she understands the reason I want to use pull-ups first. DCG did pretty good the rest of the day. Only one accident in the afternoon so we'll see what the rest of the week brings!
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Originally Posted by Scout: Maybe I shouldn't have used him as an example,but i figured it probably applies to all kids in regards to some needing to feel comfortable in the new environment. What he has done and from early infancy is called Elimination Communication,and often times (if the communication part is done right) as a result/side effect the child can end up becoming potty training in the end. He wears cloth diapers at all times, but at night where it's night time disposables. E.C. is not "training the parent" because the child really IS learning. When my son starts walking, or gets closer to 18 months, OR can begin holding it for longer periods (haven't decided) , I will begin formal Potty training,and stick him straight in undies. I only care for 1 FT infant,and 1 PT toddler,so I am in a better position to take my son every hour ,if needed. I do understand in a regular daycare setting, with more children than what I have,each day it would be too hard to do what I do with my son. I was blessed that other provider was willing & enthusiastic to even take him potty,instead of flat out telling me no. Originally Posted by LaLa1923: Originally Posted by Angelwings36: Originally Posted by Oneluckymom: Originally Posted by Blackcat31: Originally Posted by Country Kids: |
One of the signs of being ready is to be able to hold urine for 2-3 hours at a shot. If she needs YOU to put her on the toilet every hour, she is not trained. Ask her what times the child normally is successful going pee. If she can't name 3-4 times she went in the potty, she likely didn't even do that herself, so why is she wanting you to do it?
If your policy is they be fully trained before underwear, this kiddo does not qualify. |
Originally Posted by Country Kids: I didn't mean to upset anyone by my response at all. :) Potty training is simply not fun but its necessary. ( could be fun for kids) It will make our lives easier and can be done in 1-2 weeks. During that short period of time we need to make that child a priority. It really doesn't last long.... I do often have to take my son potty. He gets too busy playing. I often have to remind my 6 year old to go potty.......:eek: |
I do take potty training kids in every hour or so-possibly more. I won't sit and read to them tho.
I've just gotten back into child care after being away for 14 yrs. For the 10 yrs I ran my center I never knew a child who wasn't trained during the 2's. NOT because I required it....that's just what parents did. I never knew a child who was still in diapers at age 3-ever once. Things have changed lots and it hasn't been that long! I did operate a preschool program all the years I was potty training 2yr. olds and it went quite quickly and easily. IMHO it didn't seem to tough to do. Kids are trained super early in other countries....they don't have the resources (disposable diapers/pull-ups) we do here. |
I also have this in my potty training policies.
Must come in Pull ups and loose fit, comfortable, elastic bottoms. Sweats, leggings, etc. And The daycare will make the determination when pull ups may begin being phased out. The last thing you need is a parent saying "This is the third weekend in a row that Suzie had no accidents at home so she's in underwear today." |
Originally Posted by daycaremom76: |
I have a potty training paragraph in my contract. Over the yrs. and yrs. of providing great care, I went to this about 4 yrs. ago. I have had so many requests over the yrs. that were CRAZY!!!!
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Setting a child on the potty every hour or more often is not potty training. My kids all learned at different ages, but it goes the same. They have to know they need to go before they went, they then must want to use the potty instead. Without being able to say yes to both statements you're wasting your time. My DS went from diapers at age 4 to completely potty trained literally over night. He had been able to know he needed to go before he went for many months but did not want to use the potty. Fighting him to do so would not have helped. My dd is 30 months she had been interested but now is not. I really don't think she knows she needs to pee but she knows with poo. So she's in diapers till she does know and chooses the potty.
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My former parent told her son right in front of me at pick up one time. " " the little boy's name, don't you think you should be going potty all the time at " "'s house? Good think I had the correct wording in my contract. I will assist with it here, when they are understanding it, and can say it on their own, that they have to go. This must be started at home , and child making good progress and understand it, before I will start wit it here at daycare.
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