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Pandaluver21 02-20-2018 02:06 PM

Red Flags?
 
Hello,
I just got an inquiry about an opening. I asked her if she had any questions and she wrote me back.

1st question- Could I extend pickup time 15minutes
Following questions- Are we "certified", How long have we been working with kids, has there been any reports against us (said she was going to look anyway, just wanted to see what I'd say...)
She then asked a couple other questions that I have no idea what they were because of typos.
She said this was going to be hard for her because she's used to watching her daughter "all day everyday"

Do any of these seem like red flags to you?
First off, asking us to change hour hours right off the bat seems weird. I've done this job too long without a backbone and it seems like I'm asking for trouble to take someone that wants times changed right away. (also, we are a preschool not a daycare) Many of the questions she asked are on our website, so I assume she didn't actually look at it. And the "I'm going to look anyway" almost seems like she's trying to catch me in a lie? Trust me, nothing to lie about here!

Michael 02-20-2018 02:08 PM

Trust your gut instincts.

Here are some other threads on Red Flags: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=red+flags

lovemykidstoo 02-20-2018 02:18 PM

One word...............RUN!!!!

mamamanda 02-20-2018 02:29 PM

I would say no way. Sounds like trouble waiting to happen to me.

Blackcat31 02-20-2018 02:33 PM

The second a parent asks you to bend, break of waive a policy just for them, I stop.

Nope, just nope.

It bothers me that parents feel comfortable asking a complete stranger to basically do a "favor" for them before even considering to ask a friend/family member or neighbor first.

Pandaluver21 02-20-2018 03:06 PM

Yay I'm not crazy!
I am going to write her back, see if I can get a better view of things?
Now to figure out what to write her...
Should I address each question? Should I send my handbook and leave it at that?

Pandaluver21 02-20-2018 03:10 PM

How's this sound?

Hello again! I have attached our handbook that will hopefully answer most of your questions, along with our website. If something isn't covered please let me know :)

Blackcat31 02-20-2018 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666108)
Yay I'm not crazy!
I am going to write her back, see if I can get a better view of things?
Now to figure out what to write her...
Should I address each question? Should I send my handbook and leave it at that?

Personally, I would send her your policy book and add a statement to the effect of "I am sure most your questions can be answered via my handbook. Please understand that my policies are non-negotiable. If you have any questions that are not answered by reading my handbook, please feel free to call, text or e-mail me. Thank you for your interest in ABC Child Care, I look forward to hearing back from you."

Nice, friendly and says what you need it to say.

If she replies with "I know your policies say XYZ, but I am wondering if PQR is possible?" either reply back with "My policies are non-negotiable" or don't reply at all. lol! Rinse and repeat.

If she persists, just let her know that per your conversations you don't think your program can meet her needs. Thank her for her interest and don't reply again. :lol:

MarinaVanessa 02-20-2018 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 (Post 666112)
Personally, I would send her your policy book and add a statement to the effect of "I am sure most your questions can be answered via my handbook. Please understand that my policies are non-negotiable. If you have any questions that are not answered by reading my handbook, please feel free to call, text or e-mail me. Thank you for your interest in ABC Child Care, I look forward to hearing back from you."

Nice, friendly and says what you need it to say.

If she replies with "I know your policies say XYZ, but I am wondering if PQR is possible?" either reply back with "My policies are non-negotiable" or don't reply at all. lol! Rinse and repeat.

If she persists, just let her know that per your conversations you don't think your program can meet her needs. Thank her for her interest and don't reply again. :lol:

This. Everything this.

HappyEverAfter 02-20-2018 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 (Post 666112)
Personally, I would send her your policy book and add a statement to the effect of "I am sure most your questions can be answered via my handbook. Please understand that my policies are non-negotiable. If you have any questions that are not answered by reading my handbook, please feel free to call, text or e-mail me. Thank you for your interest in ABC Child Care, I look forward to hearing back from you."

Nice, friendly and says what you need it to say.

If she replies with "I know your policies say XYZ, but I am wondering if PQR is possible?" either reply back with "My policies are non-negotiable" or don't reply at all. lol! Rinse and repeat.

If she persists, just let her know that per your conversations you don't think your program can meet her needs. Thank her for her interest and don't reply again. :lol:

This! Do this!

Pandaluver21 02-20-2018 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666111)
How's this sound?

Hello again! I have attached our handbook that will hopefully answer most of your questions, along with our website. If something isn't covered please let me know :)

I messaged her back with the statement above. She has not written back yet. She had also called us, and e-mailed us. Her e-mail said "we’re looking for full days m-f when I get a job however for the time being we want her to go to your pre school." :confused:

DaveA 02-21-2018 03:39 AM

Nope- sounds like that's a bunch of stuff for before you've even met. I smell drama queen approaching. Say thanks but no thanks.

If you do decide to go ahead with them do what BC says and stress that policies will be followed. If they start pushing them term.

amberrose3dg 02-21-2018 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveA (Post 666164)
Nope- sounds like that's a bunch of stuff for before you've even met. I smell drama queen approaching. Say thanks but no thanks.

If you do decide to go ahead with them do what BC says and stress that policies will be followed. If they start pushing them term.

I would tell her they wouldn't be a good fit. Something sounds off for sure. :ouch:

Pandaluver21 02-21-2018 02:22 PM

Wrote back today and asked to "come take a look" Not sure what to say...
I feel like I should at least meet her in person? But the other side of me wants to RUN from the crazy lady!

I am currently fighting both influenza A and B, and don't want to do any walkthrough's until next week anyway... :(

Blackcat31 02-21-2018 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666283)
Wrote back today and asked to "come take a look" Not sure what to say...
I feel like I should at least meet her in person? But the other side of me wants to RUN from the crazy lady!

I am currently fighting both influenza A and B, and don't want to do any walkthrough's until next week anyway... :(

Sometimes those family's do turn out to be good clients.
I believe because I was able to set the record straight from the get go.... being able to lay out the rules and let her know that you expect full cooperation for all your policies might just be a message she needs to hear...

Maybe her previous provider was super lax or her bff's provider was etc...who knows where people get their ideas of what daycare is/isn't from... I just know that it helps to lay out the rules clearly and concisely and then enforce them 100% and you really have no reason to doubt that a parent isn't capable of following them...kwim?

I'd set up an interview, discuss your policies with her and feel it out...if she hints at or gives you any reason to think she isn't "getting it" and will more than likely be a boundary pusher, send her a "sorry, I can't meet your needs and wont be enrolling your family but thank you for your interest" e-mail. :)

Blackcat31 02-21-2018 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666283)
W

I am currently fighting both influenza A and B,

Get some rest and I hope you feel better soon!! :hug:

Mom2Two 02-21-2018 07:23 PM

Too confusing--if she doesn't have a job yet, why is she already asking about extending your hours? I guess maybe she applied for one that had longer hours but didn't end up getting it.

And I hope you get better soon! If you are sick with the flu, it's probably a hard time to be dealing with confusing folk.

Pandaluver21 02-21-2018 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 (Post 666286)
Sometimes those family's do turn out to be good clients.
I believe because I was able to set the record straight from the get go.... being able to lay out the rules and let her know that you expect full cooperation for all your policies might just be a message she needs to hear...

Maybe her previous provider was super lax or her bff's provider was etc...who knows where people get their ideas of what daycare is/isn't from... I just know that it helps to lay out the rules clearly and concisely and then enforce them 100% and you really have no reason to doubt that a parent isn't capable of following them...kwim?

I'd set up an interview, discuss your policies with her and feel it out...if she hints at or gives you any reason to think she isn't "getting it" and will more than likely be a boundary pusher, send her a "sorry, I can't meet your needs and wont be enrolling your family but thank you for your interest" e-mail. :)

That was my thought. I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt.. I know a lot of places are pretty lax, so she may have heard that from someone (she hasn't been in any type of school/daycare before)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 (Post 666287)
Get some rest and I hope you feel better soon!! :hug:

Thank you! It's kicking my butt, but we're getting there :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom2Two (Post 666301)
Too confusing--if she doesn't have a job yet, why is she already asking about extending your hours? I guess maybe she applied for one that had longer hours but didn't end up getting it.

And I hope you get better soon! If you are sick with the flu, it's probably a hard time to be dealing with confusing folk.

We run a preschool, so we have kids come when parents aren't working... but there is plenty of things that just don't seem to be adding up.
Honestly, I think if I wasn't feeling like poo, I would probably not care as much. Meet them, see how it goes, and figure it out from there... but I just don't want to waste the little energy I have dealing with crazy people :lol:

lovemykidstoo 02-22-2018 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666100)
Hello,
I just got an inquiry about an opening. I asked her if she had any questions and she wrote me back.

1st question- Could I extend pickup time 15minutes
Following questions- Are we "certified", How long have we been working with kids, has there been any reports against us (said she was going to look anyway, just wanted to see what I'd say...)
She then asked a couple other questions that I have no idea what they were because of typos.
She said this was going to be hard for her because she's used to watching her daughter "all day everyday"

Do any of these seem like red flags to you?
First off, asking us to change hour hours right off the bat seems weird. I've done this job too long without a backbone and it seems like I'm asking for trouble to take someone that wants times changed right away. (also, we are a preschool not a daycare) Many of the questions she asked are on our website, so I assume she didn't actually look at it. And the "I'm going to look anyway" almost seems like she's trying to catch me in a lie? Trust me, nothing to lie about here!

The asking if you could extend pickup time really doesn't bother me, but the highlighted part where she asks you a question and says she's going to look anyway, but wanted to see what you'd say is insulting. Why doesn't she come out and say that she wants to see if you'd lie to her. That part sticks in my craw.


I hope you feel better fast!!!

Pandaluver21 02-27-2018 04:53 PM

Well, the good news is I am feeling much better! happyface

The bad news is, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, set up a walk-through, and she was a no show :mad:

Oh well, moving on...:rolleyes:

Blackcat31 02-27-2018 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 666946)
Well, the good news is I am feeling much better! happyface

The bad news is, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, set up a walk-through, and she was a no show :mad:

Oh well, moving on...:rolleyes:

Sorry...

Someday she might feel bad for being so flakey ....

But I don’t think anyone should ever feel bad for giving someone a chance! :)

Glad to hear you’re feeling better too! happyface

Liz Downs 02-28-2018 09:14 AM

Red flag
 
Hi everyone just throwing my 2 cents in here:
When a potential client is interviewing you for a child care spot you, as a provider, should also be conducting your own interview to see if the child and the family is a good fit for your program. This is a two-way relationship! If your gut instincts tell you that something is not right follow these instincts.
The area where you need to be concerned is how you decline the opening to the prospective parent. You can spend all kinds of time and energy handing out your policies, procedures and parent handbook, and having walk-throughs. But, the bottom line is you instinctually "know" that this is a bad fit right from the initial contact.
So, tell the prospect (*at the initial point of contact) that there have been other parents looking to place their child in your program and that you do not yet know the outcome and that you will get back in touch with them once you know more. At a later point in time contact the parent and tell them that the opening has been filled and that you are sorry.
If you get into discussing ANY "whys" you feel that it is not a good fit you will likely run into the parent concluding that you were somehow discriminatory against her/her child. Now you have a potential discrimination charge to answer to. GREAT! On top of everything else you have to deal with, you definitely do not want additional stress.
Never, ever get into "why" the prospect is not a good fit. You just no longer have the opening. Save yourself time, energy, money and a potential discrimination lawsuit and move on!
Hope this helps you and other providers. Always remember that you have as much right to data gather as the potential client. Make informed decisions up front. It is easier to get into a relationship than to leave one!
Liz Downs

Blackcat31 02-28-2018 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liz Downs (Post 666984)
Hi everyone just throwing my 2 cents in here:
When a potential client is interviewing you for a child care spot you, as a provider, should also be conducting your own interview to see if the child and the family is a good fit for your program. This is a two-way relationship! If your gut instincts tell you that something is not right follow these instincts.
The area where you need to be concerned is how you decline the opening to the prospective parent. You can spend all kinds of time and energy handing out your policies, procedures and parent handbook, and having walk-throughs. But, the bottom line is you instinctually "know" that this is a bad fit right from the initial contact.
So, tell the prospect (*at the initial point of contact) that there have been other parents looking to place their child in your program and that you do not yet know the outcome and that you will get back in touch with them once you know more. At a later point in time contact the parent and tell them that the opening has been filled and that you are sorry.
If you get into discussing ANY "whys" you feel that it is not a good fit you will likely run into the parent concluding that you were somehow discriminatory against her/her child. Now you have a potential discrimination charge to answer to. GREAT! On top of everything else you have to deal with, you definitely do not want additional stress.
Never, ever get into "why" the prospect is not a good fit. You just no longer have the opening. Save yourself time, energy, money and a potential discrimination lawsuit and move on!
Hope this helps you and other providers. Always remember that you have as much right to data gather as the potential client. Make informed decisions up front. It is easier to get into a relationship than to leave one!
Liz Downs

This is so not true and is very mis-leading.

It is illegal to discriminate against children or parents because of race, color, gender, religion, age, disability, or national origin. Protected class as defined by the ADA also fall under discrimination but declining a family due to a provider not feeling as if they are a good fit for their program is NOT discrimination.

Here is an article that explains it well.
http://tomcopelandblog.com/illegal-d...nate-parents-2

Josiegirl 02-28-2018 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackcat31 (Post 666991)
This is so not true and is very mis-leading.

It is illegal to discriminate against children or parents because of race, color, gender, religion, age, disability, or national origin. Protected class as defined by the ADA also fall under discrimination but declining a family due to a provider not feeling as if they are a good fit for their program is NOT discrimination.

Here is an article that explains it well.
http://tomcopelandblog.com/illegal-d...nate-parents-2

But what's to stop an irate offended parent from twisting words around to make it look like you were discriminating against them? They can simply cause you whole lots of trouble just because you refused to take their child and made them mad, without any truth to their words.
And from things we read on this forum sometimes, we know there are people crazy enough to do anything to make our lives miserable because well, they're crazy, and feel entitled.

Blackcat31 03-01-2018 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josiegirl (Post 667041)
But what's to stop an irate offended parent from twisting words around to make it look like you were discriminating against them? They can simply cause you whole lots of trouble just because you refused to take their child and made them mad, without any truth to their words.
And from things we read on this forum sometimes, we know there are people crazy enough to do anything to make our lives miserable because well, they're crazy, and feel entitled.

Nothing would stop an offended parent but just because they use the word discrimination does not mean it is.

If they accuse you of discrimination, they need to be able to prove it.

You are correct in saying, ANY one at any time can say whatever they want and it might cause issues for the provider but we can't be fearful of that happening or we probably shouldn't be in business. kwim?

My comments to the poster in regards to discrimination were in reference to her stating that providers need to say or do X or Y or they'll have a discrimination charge to answer too. I don't like that type of fear mongering to providers.

It's bad enough that providers feel parents have a hold over them financially etc at times that it's not acceptable for someone to advise a provider to do something based on false or misleading information.

If a provider is truly worried about discrimination, I suggest they educate themselves on what is and isn't discrimination. Knowledge IS power and when you (general you...provider) know and understand what qualifies as discrimination it's easy to eliminate that fear/stress.

Pandaluver21 03-15-2018 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liz Downs (Post 666984)
Hi everyone just throwing my 2 cents in here:
When a potential client is interviewing you for a child care spot you, as a provider, should also be conducting your own interview to see if the child and the family is a good fit for your program. This is a two-way relationship! If your gut instincts tell you that something is not right follow these instincts.
The area where you need to be concerned is how you decline the opening to the prospective parent. You can spend all kinds of time and energy handing out your policies, procedures and parent handbook, and having walk-throughs. But, the bottom line is you instinctually "know" that this is a bad fit right from the initial contact.
So, tell the prospect (*at the initial point of contact) that there have been other parents looking to place their child in your program and that you do not yet know the outcome and that you will get back in touch with them once you know more. At a later point in time contact the parent and tell them that the opening has been filled and that you are sorry.
If you get into discussing ANY "whys" you feel that it is not a good fit you will likely run into the parent concluding that you were somehow discriminatory against her/her child. Now you have a potential discrimination charge to answer to. GREAT! On top of everything else you have to deal with, you definitely do not want additional stress.
Never, ever get into "why" the prospect is not a good fit. You just no longer have the opening. Save yourself time, energy, money and a potential discrimination lawsuit and move on!
Hope this helps you and other providers. Always remember that you have as much right to data gather as the potential client. Make informed decisions up front. It is easier to get into a relationship than to leave one!
Liz Downs

To say I no longer have the opening would be a lie, I will not do that.
I have no problem explaining "why" in the simplest of terms.
I set up a walk-through with this family. They didn't show up, messaged later and said that they thought it was the following day. I again (against my better judgement) told her we could try again the following week. Guess who didn't show up. Trust me, there was no "discrimination" going on. I would have to know something about the person to discriminate against them anyway...

knoxmomof2 03-16-2018 11:58 PM

I've learned this lesson the hard way : NEVER reschedule an interview. If they don't make it to the first, there's a reason.. Any time I've given the benefit of the doubt, I was sorry. I broke my own policy for one person because they were a referral from an awesome former client... She stood me up 3 times!! All for "last minute, unavoidable problems". Finally met with her, red flags left and right. Any time I've rescheduled and then met with the people, they were not a good fit. Rude, entitled, assuming the choice was entirely theirs and then acting offended when I mentioned that I wanted to be sure it was a good fit for both of us.

I also started using LysesKids' method of having them call 2 hours before the interview to confirm and then giving out the address. It cuts down on a wasted Saturday and stressing about an interview that might not happen and keeps them from showing up unannounced after the fact. 👍

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21 (Post 668728)
To say I no longer have the opening would be a lie, I will not do that.
I have no problem explaining "why" in the simplest of terms.
I set up a walk-through with this family. They didn't show up, messaged later and said that they thought it was the following day. I again (against my better judgement) told her we could try again the following week. Guess who didn't show up. Trust me, there was no "discrimination" going on. I would have to know something about the person to discriminate against them anyway...


Pandaluver21 03-20-2018 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knoxmomof2 (Post 668856)
I also started using LysesKids' method of having them call 2 hours before the interview to confirm and then giving out the address. It cuts down on a wasted Saturday and stressing about an interview that might not happen and keeps them from showing up unannounced after the fact. 👍

I don't give out my address until they confirm either, which is why I knew this was a bad idea from the start lol. I will reschedule if needed ONE time, but on a case by case basis. I have had a handful of parents that something happened and they let me know ahead of time and we rescheduled. Turned out great. The no shows are another story though!


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