Originally Posted by trish1980:
I have had a child in my care for 3 months now. He is almost 3 years old. He is affecting the other children in my care. He is very abusive to me and to them and screams and cries all day. Mom was recently approached by his previous caregiver about him possibly having a problem. He is in the process of being tested for autism. Mom dropped him off this morning and made the comment that I was very good at concealing his behavior from her. I am very upset by this statement because I feel I have told her every time there was an issue. I did not come right out and say I think he is autistic. At first I thought he had seperation anxiety and was willing to work through it. It has become far more than I can handle and I have other children in my care to consider. I have included a list of the behavior issues for comment. I must give them notice. I do not know where to begin. I feel I have to be very careful with this situation. I desperately need help composing my termination letter.
In the morning when he is dropped off he cries and screams. This isn't all the time, but it happens a lot. Most children only had separation anxiety for the first couple of days or weeks. It has been months for him.
Leaving to go home in the evening is a tough transition too. He cries and whines and wants to be carried. I have begun to wonder if it is because he doesn't want to walk down stairs for fear of falling.
When I am preparing meals he sits at the table and watches me. I tell him to go play and he repeats me go play. He runs to look at other children and then quickly runs back to table. Almost like he forgot what he was doing. If he has to sit in another chair other than the one he is used to, he throws a tantrum and cries. I've noticed that he throws his plate on the floor, but only if there are peas on it. Peas seem to trigger something he doesn't like. Sometimes when he is eating his body shakes. I have only noticed it when we are sitting down not standing or playing. When I wash his face with a washcloth after meals he screams and pinches my arm. I do it as gentle as
possible and he still does not like his face touched. Recently he has started to spit his food out. I haven't noticed it being a specific food.
He has a hard time with any transition (cleaning up, moving on to a new activity, parents coming) anything that is different. When we transition to anything he screams, cries and whines. Any change for him causes great fear. If he does not want to do something, he hits whatever is close to him. He hits the table in a demanding manner or the nearest friend.
I recently rearranged the playroom and I could not get him to go in it. It took a lot of encouragement and he can finally play in there. When parents come to pick up their children he holds his right hand over his forehead and begins to shake and sometimes closes his eyes or rolls them back into his head.
Going potty is hit or miss with him. Some days he is great and cooperative and other days he screams and cries when I take him to the bathroom. He has not ever told me he needs to go or expressed feelings about it. I change all diapers with gloves and he is really afraid of them. The entire time I am changing him he cries, fights, kicks, wiggles and does not take his eyes off of the gloves. He has a look of fear on his face. I have tried changing without the gloves and he still fights and kicks and moves without the crying and fear of the gloves.
He does not engage with other children and isolates himself almost 100% of the time.
He is very attached to certain toys and stuffed animals. He walks around with the same item in his hand all day. I've noticed that he has started talking to the stuffed animal. You cannot understand what he is saying when he is talking to it.
He seems to have irritable bowel. Some days his poop is almost diarrhea and up to five times a day.
Repeats only what you say and cannot express his own feelings.
Repeats the same sentence or words several times even if I have responded already.
Does not remember that an action is wrong even though he has sat in time out for the same action several times.
He seems very clumsy. He is always falling. When we are outside playing he seems very confused. I have to direct him to the slide in order for him to play. And he stays on the slide until I move him to another toy. He has a hard time making his own decision to play with something different. Going up and down the stairs is very hard for him and he almost always has to be carried up or down. If I do not carry him he stands at the top or bottom of the stairs and screams.
It is very hard to get through to him. He seems to look at you but right through you.
He is very smart when it comes to letters, numbers and music. He is drawn to any toy that involves these 3 things and far surpasses the other children his age when it comes to knowing his letters, sounds and numbers.
I wonder if you meant to post this as it's own thread.
I can do that for you if you meant to.
The best termination letters are simple; "As of [date] I will no longer be able to provide services" kind of things.
As far as dcb, I think autism is probably right on the money. It's good that he's already in evaluations for it. If you truly feel that you are not equipped to handle his issues, then by all means terminate him.
Good luck.